HI GUYS. Big news. (Not really, but bear with me.) I just got a new laptop, which makes it much easier to record my songs - at least for the time being until I move into my dorm in August, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. That being said, this is my first recording on this new PC so there are some quality issues in since I don't know what I'm doing and have to use a handheld mic. :c But yeah. Here's a song about annoying dead-end relationships (or almost relationships). Please share if this doesn't suck. I appreciate the listen!

Love,
Kat

LYRICS:

you say i mean the world to you
you treat me like a molecule
you seem to be allergic to
but i am too afraid to speak against it

you make me think it's me you like
you psych me out and then you change your mind
but i don't hear things, you don't lie,
and those are truths that can't be true both at the same time

and you tell me that you're sorry
but it's harder to believe
when you think i'm too soft
to ever end it all and leave
and maybe that's half-true
because i falter at your name
and i let things stay the same

the vicious cycle never ends
indulging you, deflecting all my friends
who beg me not to fall again
but even they are too afraid to speak against it

and i know just what they don't like
you psych me out but only on the side
and always seem to think you're right
and that's a truth that don't exist outside of your mind

and they'll tell me that you're crazy
but i think it's something else
you don't know what you want
that's why you contradict yourself
so swaddled in self-pity
hoping that will kill the pain
and you're never gonna change

The Psych Out (original, lyrics in description)

HEY guys! Merry Christmas, happy almost-2014, all of that jazz.
I know it's been kind of awhile. I've been writing and playing and singing as usual but in my dorm, my recording capabilities are kind of non-existent.

Anyway yeah, the cover. If you actually subscribe to my Youtube channel (which would really be pointless considering it's crappier versions of everything I post here), you would recognize this cover. I actually recorded this a year ago but only uploaded it to YouTube so I figured I'd put it somewhere that a) I have a decent following and b) I don't have to show my pained facial expressions that I make when I sing. Enjoy!

Mad World (Gary Jules cover)

This is a song I uploaded to YouTube about a year ago and forgot to post. You might notice I'm not posting anything I've written recently, and that's because I'm holding out for higher-quality recordings. So I hope you enjoy this in the meantime.

LYRICS:
remember when you took your shirt off?
i guess you didn't hear me begging for your coat
and i was shivering for so long
you had to scrape away the frost to breach my clothes
and you told me i was pretty
starves me of oxygen and told me i could breathe
and in your silence and your pity
you never notice you're emaciating me

and i'm too skinny for a diet
no one told me how to chew before i choked
but after you, i think i'll try it
i'm so addicted to a taste i never owned, i never owned

remember when you held your hands out?
i guess you didn't hear me screaming i was scared
not of the crowds or all the people
i hate the lights becasue they show me you're still there
and i asked if this was shallow
you didn't answer but you said you liked my mind
i guess you like your women mellow
too bad a truly mellow guy's so hard to find

and i'm too skinny for a diet
no one told me how to chew before i choked
but after you, i think i'll try it
i'm so addicted to a taste i never owned, i never owned

i think i'm going on a diet
no one told me how to chew before i choked
but after you, it's time i try it
i'm so addicted to a taste i never owned, i never owned

Diet (original)

Another older upload, posted to YouTube last year. Dug this out of the vault today for my best friend Davis who really liked this one even though I haven't gotten around to recording a higher-quality version. This song is about feeling guilty for being sad. I hope you like it.

LYRICS:
I've never been a dying breed
Or even a martyr
I don't know what it's like to bleed
And that makes it harder
And I couldn't tell you what it's like to suffer
But pain is my shadow and heartache my brother

I've never been a tiny bird
A week from extinction
I don't know what it's like to hurt
In the name of religion
And I've never lost anyone to addiction
How silly of me to call love my affliction

Like pain is the kiwi in all of us
They say Jesus lives within all of us
My brain cannot fathom the tears
That a boy with no mother would cry

I've never been a casualty
Or even a target
I've never tried to kill myself
But God, have I thought about
Ending my life before it's even started
I mean mean no disrespect when I cry without warrant

This day will mean nothing in just a few years
But I write everything that I hear
But the voices inside me
Are whispering things that they know

I've never been a dying breed
Or even a martyr
I don't know what it's like to bleed
And that makes it harder
And I couldn't tell you what it's like to suffer
Like pain is my shadow and heartache my brother

Kiwi Song (original, lyrics in description)

For a beautiful girl I know. <3

LYRICS:
you didn’t think you’d go this far
but then again you didn’t think they’d sell your soul for pocket change
if i could pull you from your place
you don’t deserve those tiger stripes and zebra marks along your veins

and you stand there on your balcony
and contemplate the fall
but your every breath, it demonstrates
how strong you really are
to me

i do believe time heals all wounds
but it would be a cheap excuse to just say, “It gets better,”
so here’s a message from a friend
if it would help to hold your hand, i’d hold on tight forever

and you stand there on your balcony
and contemplate the fall
but you don’t know your every breath, it demonstrates
how strong you really are
and i didn’t doubt you were
and i didn’t doubt you were

Alyssa's Song (original)

I am still unable to sing at the moment. I hate germs. :( Anyway, I have a special gift. Behold my live version of Teleprompter Guy. This is the second song I wrote in modern times (not including my weird early teenhood dabbling, I mean). I'm uploading the live version because the original recording of this sucks and I've changed the tempo and ending of the song since then. I really want you guys to like this song. It's my personal favorite.

So, enjoy! Lyrics are below, as always! Download, tell your friends, sing along, be merry. I appreciate the listen. Really, really, really appreciate it. <3

Love, 
Kat

LYRICS:
sometimes i see you on the street
you never bother to say hi
you are the star up on the stage
and I’m the teleprompter guy
the little soda tab on water fountains
no one ever sees
injected with your fruit punch poison
i am tinted and unclean

but you can call me every night
and say it’s all my fault
but if you want to keep your rep
i have to do your job

so it’s alright, it’s all the same
you take the credit; i’ll take the blame
i’ll be the bad guy; they’ll cheer your name
you’ll be the force that can’t be tamed
and they’ll admire your compassion
oh, hero of all time
but you’d better not forget who wrote your lines
oh, it’s alright
oh, it’s okay
who needs recognition anyway?

when we’re alone, it becomes obvious
how desperate you’ve become
you’ve got to keep me if you want to keep
that shiny number one
and you bring nothing to the table
and i’m growing to expect, you’ll treat me
you’ll treat me, you’ll treat me like a germ
left on a surface no one wants to disinfect

and you can call me every night
and say it’s all my fault
but if you want to keep your rep
i have to do your job

so it’s alright, it’s all the same
you take the credit; i’ll take the blame
i’ll be the bad guy; they’ll cheer your name
you’ll be the force that can’t be tamed
and they’ll admire your compassion
oh, hero of all time
but you’d better not forget who wrote your lines
oh, it’s alright
oh, it’s okay
who needs recognition anyway?
i don't

Teleprompter Guy (live version, click for lyrics)

Hi guys! Just a silly (but so, so necessary) song about people not knowing what they're getting into. With me. God, does this reek of special snowflake syndrome or what?
Thanks for the support! Please, please, please tell your friends. Or don't.

Happy Thanksgiving!
Love,
Kat

LYRICS:
you say you like my poetry
but even so, you'll never see
the lines between the lines
i keep expecting you to read

you say you like my tone of voice
but you're just like those other boys
you fawn until you doe
over the things i really don't

you buck and kick
and i make you think
that i don't know

you're falling for my eloquence
but when i finally jump the fence
into my sweet vulgarity
i doubt you'll stick around

you still think i smile more than i brood
but i'm not some smiley face balloon
I sing the words; they’re not in tune
and i hope you know that

while you say I’m like Regina Spektor
that's not really what I’m after
savor all your commentary please
you act like I’m some silver lining
I’m screwed up so stop your pining
I’m not worth the grass stains on your knees
so please tire of me

insult my chest and swell my heart
I’ve honed seduction to an art you say
except I never even try
I’ll touch you while your hands are still untied
but you’re only making up your mind
someday you won't be on my side
and I hope you know that

while you say I’m like Regina Spektor
that's not really what I’m after
savor all your commentary please
you act like I’m some silver lining
I’m screwed up so stop your pining
I’m not worth the grass stains on your knees
so please tire of me

you don't like my poetry
and I don't think you'll ever see
the pretty words you read
are what you make up in your mind
you say you like the way I sing
but you're not hearing anything
do you even know the words?
I can't explain how much this hurts

you buck and kick
do you really think
that I don't know?


Tire of Me (original, click for lyrics)

As the title suggests, this is a work in progress, but I love it so far. What do you think?

Thanks for listening and all that!
Love, Kat

LYRICS:
this is a song for the way down
the soundtrack and score for your breakdown
a sliver of hope in a dark cloud
a crevice to hide in your small town

this is a song for your old friends
the soundtrack and score for that final weekend
the moment you thought that you had them
a day in the past but it never happened

this is how it feels before the end

this is a song for the romance
the one that convinced you that love is pointless
the horrible kiss at your school dance
the words that you spilled on your very last chance

this is a song for the rebound
the moment you stole on a dirty playground
he made you believe that it went well
you opened your heart and he told you get help

WIP: A Soundtrack And Score (original)

Scratchy voice yay!
Don't you just hate it when you really like a guy who you didn't even expect to like and literally two seconds before you're about to confess your feelings, he tells you that he's in love with somebody else? Me too. Here's a song about it. And Davis, the last line's for you, love.

Oh, and uh..apparently I'm already more than a third of the way through my upload minutes. Me sad.

Merry Almost-Christmas / Happy Non-Denominational-Winter-Celebration, guys!
Love, Kat

LYRICS:
I don't want to be collateral damage
But when our eyes meet, he has the advantage
For such a strange creature, he sure shuts me up
His most menacing feature is that he's already in love
And I think of it all of the time

Dear diary, the boy that I mentioned
Is making a scene with his twisted intentions
For such a great ending, this tale tears me up
And the problem with mending is that every character's flawed
But I still want to read it again

Don't get me wrong; I'm no other woman
It's just she walked in at the very same moment
She's such a strange creature, but she shuts him up
And the view from the bleachers is that the game's already won
There's no room to compartmentalize
There's no room to compartmentalize


Collateral Damage (original, click for lyrics)

Hey guys (and welcome to this sudden truckload of followers (and by that I mean like 6 more than I had before (nested parentheses are fun)))! This is a cheesy song I wrote for fun in about 15 minutes last night. There is also a YouTube video because I got an iPhone which means a camera which means me making a complete idiot of myself on the internet. No medium is safe anymore!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eAqGYrB1wQ8

Also, I got to write 2013 in the track info this time. I am positively tingling with excitement.

Love, Kat

LYRICS:
i said i'd compartmentalize and i'll have you know i did
and i've done it for way longer than i ever will admit
and now i want to let the cat out of the bag before it dies
i hope this morbid reference makes me finish writing this in time

and though you'll never let me lie with you until the cows come home
and we still sleep in separate bedrooms, i will never be alone
and if you label this obsession, please absolve me of my sin
you aren't mine, and i am nobody's but i still feel fine
so everybody wins

excuse me for the cheesiness; i feel a little down
because it stings each time your sister asks if we are going out
and there are times i wish i could say yes and i almost do until
i catch my breath and pack these feelings up and drop them in the well i dug

and well, i'm sorry every song i ever start
for you seems to be begging for your heart
or your hand or just one moment in your pants
can we forget this happened? i'm a little drunk
from the bottled-up confession in my gut
that even though i'm not the one you want
and even though it gets under my skin
you're better off when you are nobody's
i'm fine, i swear
so everybody wins

********************************************

(Album art by http://www.pencilly.tumblr.com)

Everybody Wins (original, click for lyrics)

A little unwarranted advice: It's hard to reject something when it's all you've ever had. And it's hard to justify giving up on something that hasn't done anything to you. How do you know you're not jumping from the frying pan into the fire, or from a fire to a hotter fire, yknow? I've been thinking maybe we really do need to be more stubborn in what we deserve. You have to let go and experience a period of horrifying limbo before you find something better, I think.

Sorry to get all inspiration-y on you...Happy listening, and (in the words of Conor Oberst) remember it's better to work for a paycheck than to wait for the lottery. And use that share button, why don'tcha? :D

Love, Kat!

LYRICS:
I've never met a boy
I wouldn't show my skin to
I know when to close my eyes
The spectrum of your lies
Is wide enough to cling to
Bind and gag me; I don't mind

I give them what they want
So they can fill my guts with butterflies
And coo to me like doves
But no one ever does
They're sinister like moths
And fast like flies
And they make me cry

I never met a word
I couldn't tie my heart to
All absurdity aside
So write another line
A sonnet on a napkin
From a shoddy fast food line

And peering past the grease
I'll tell myself it means it's real this time
Collecting in the crease
The loopholes and betweens
The frivolous maybes
'Cause everybody leaves

The corners of your smile
Are sharp enough to cut to
When I'm punishing my mind
For relenting when I'm right
Saying yes when I don't want to
Cut your corners; I'll cut mine

Cutting Corners (original, click for lyrics)

Whew, sorry it's been so long. Here's the cliche "just do you" song you've all been waiting for (psych). And I think it's really cute. So without further ado...

LYRICS:
they like to tell you you're a wild one
you don't look pretty on a page
they make you over but you'll curl their hair
you're strange

and everybody else is lazy
they don't understand your eyes
your own best friend will call you crazy
but she lies

and she won't change her mind
her monologues can't fill a page
but don't let any fool demote you to
her CEO someday

you get invited to the parties (sometimes)
you do your hair wrong and they laugh
the shrews can hide behind their pretty faces
screw them all, and be a giraffe

you're the only one who's sober
'cause no one else can stand to be
without the beer their thoughts are oatmeal
give them something good to eat

and all the stupid guys won't change their minds
their monologues can't fill a page
but don't let anyone demote you to their CEO someday

and when your coffee spills
and all your best friends leave
you watch the critics kill
your favorite poetry
screw that stupid mob mentality
and if it's so cliche, why do you hate me?

all the stupid guys may change their minds
their monologues can't fill a page
but don't let anyone demote you to
just sit around and wait

(lovely album art by jimmy @ http://www.pencilly.tumblr.com/tagged/jimmys+art+art )
(ooh! but i put the text)
(but no one cares about that)

For You 30 Breakdowns Ago (original, click for lyrics)

Account is mostly defunct, but I can still be reached here or via Facebook. Still making music all the while, though, don't you worry, friends.

katrinkagiordinka

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