Physical

Rushed to get this one out for Audio Therapy Thursday. Story of my life: Missed it by THAT much. Kind of fits the theme of this song, though unintentional. Freudian track release?

Becoming

home

Good Good Blood - I'm So Ugly

Acid Ghost - Overthinking

Incndscnt - You Were Just A Shadow

to make it through the day

shaky hands

it baffles me how someone could just plant a tree, and leave it be 
in reverie or in loneliness it makes no sense to me

if winter came with freezing weather, who's to blame for dying feathers but you?
you left it with no name

now summer's here and no one's near to play around in the atmosphere
why the hell's no one here?

I bought this seed cause I need a friend
I'll only ask for him to end this loneliness.

I broke the floor, dug a hole through the ceiling
so grow some more.
and I dont mean to be mean but please
can I call you "my own mess"?

cause my own mess is my business and don't you mess with "my own mess".
cause "my own mess" will grow some more and punch a hole through your front door.

sometimes, I have these moments...  [and I don't care if you don't believe me] where I fall in love with myself, and everything
and everyone else disappears [where are you?] and there's nothing 
to think about or care about [where are you?] just me and the beauty of it all and sometimes that's the only thing keeping 
me going [but I need you.]

I'll never figure it out.

tree

https://cloudellyn.bandcamp.com/album/you-are-not-the-only-light

here’s a pressure in my head
Or a looming sense of dread
Haven’t checked my phone all day
Every thought is delayed

Rose in terror from my bed
Read a text that only said,
“You are not the only light,
You are one in a long line”

Sorry I haven’t answered back
Words move slowly through the feedback
I hope you are doing well today, I’m ok

I still need you
To tell me that its light that we move through,
Though I know it
Hung in the room,
The current is a specter of the bloom
That we flow in

Each little move
Reverberates across dependent moods
Without warning
I am consumed
By echos of the silence I exhume
Every morning

You Are Not the Only Light

Luminaire (+)

https://cloudellyn.bandcamp.com/album/you-are-not-the-only-light

Theres a divide between the words I mean to say
(My nails are growing, they’re long again)
That’s feeding the time it takes to feel how much they weigh
(They’re sinking into all my friends)

There have been times I’ve thought of being someone else
(They’re carved into the roof of my mouth)
But I only try for better versions of myself
(A sharpened muscle, pointed out)
 
I can be shitty
I know, that’s on me
I won’t try to hide
I’ll own my own mind

Don’t let the ruins dim
Shine a light on them
Every stone unturned
Holds a lesson learned

The Ruins Dim

the 1st of april and I dont feel stable,
i thought we were cool, turns out im a fool

now i feel helpless, take you off my checklist
its getting kinda crazy youre making me

hate everything in myself
and god knows im kicked out of heaven and hell
my lies sound too crazy and so does your truth
so baby im begging you im begging you

why's my heart still beating
dont want you to see this
to see me turning into
someone who used to know you

i feel like im losing
my breath like in the movies
i need you to hold me
i need you to

tell me how to save myself
from all the demons i thought i knew well
my lips are still quivering
my knees are so weak 
so darling dont leave me be dont leave me be

Incndscnt - You Were Just A Shadow

Kay__Mhmd

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