When you're sleeping do you dream?
When you're dreaming do you see me?
When you see me, do you feel my heart?
And the wings that carried me to you

When you're thinking do you know
That our love was meant to show
This dark world the beauty of love's light
Proudly I will walk with you through life

When she's gone the gray clouds roll in
It rains and rains for days
Rain, rain, rain, rain, rain
But I know she'll return home
And we'll make love
and bring the sun out again

Oh baby come home!
Oh baby come home!

When you're sleeping do you dream
When you're dreaming do you see me?
When you see me, do you feel our love?
Knowing it's a blessing from above.

Oh baby,
Oh I love you!
Oh baby,
come home, I only love you!

What's this in my heart?
A familiar pain again...
I have lost a friend.
I must have let her down

Oh! my heart cries for you
I don't know what I would do

And so I lost my way
In darkness came the day
I wept for you

Now I've got it done
When I'm on my own
Feeling this gray again

So what do I do
When I'm thinking of you
and you're out of reach

But I still hold on to this love
I've never known anything like this

Now I've lost my head
Nothing left but dread
Another sleepless night
Now the day has slipped away
Nothing but this endless night

When I think of you
The clouds part in my heart
If I could only hold you in my arms again..

But that dream is gone
I left it lying dead
Wrote across the wall

Showed you my....
.............

Now I know
I take this love with me
Down into my grave
Cause I will not be saved
From the loss of you
by anything

So I sink to despair
and I gasp for air
I cannot breath

My world, never be the same
without you

Come Home

Every morning I wake up thinking of you
Every evening I dream of you
How I wish this daydream would come true

That all this time apart
Would only heal our hearts
And we can be born anew

Cause every morning I wake up thinking of you
And every evening I go to bed dreaming of you
You're all I want and that's what I do
I dream of you

I dream of a day
When we can say
This time was a way to grow
Closer, somehow
Closer, somehow

Of You

There's no sense in running
You can't outrun your heart
Ever since I met you I knew
You and me were meant to be

And all the darkness in the world may try
But it will not succeed to take our love

There's no sense in running
We can't outrun our hearts
And ever since the day you came
I've known it's for our own

So let Love reign!
Don't fight the feeling
We know what love is

Outrun The Heart

How could I be such a fool?
Let fear blind my heart's love
I see straight through the dark life now
and the sun is out, but you're far away
and I may never see you again
and that's the price I pay for my sins

How could I be such a fool?
Let true love walk away
How could I be so uncool
When all I wanted was you
and me to live
a future that we both could give

How could I lose what I feel inside
when I know I might have died alone

Where are you this sunny day?
Are you watching the water play?
Are you sitting on top of the world
singing to the birds...
Dreaming of someone who was true
Someone who won't leave you
in your time of need

How could I be such a fool?
Let my love slide underneath
How could I be so afraid of love?
Love
Now I just want to live
I just want to know
that you know my love was true
That you know my love is true
Oh Love...

Fool

Off we fly into the electronic frontier
You can feel the future as it's drawing near
(I want to fly!  Fly with me!)
In your lifetime you will find
Everything is in your mind
Create the world that you see
When in your mind you are free


Electronic Frontier

Improvised Song-of-the-Day for June 20th, 2014.  No practice, no editing, no clue, straight to you.

I hoped that
She'd return
But she chose to run away
I felt so
Close to her
I thought we'd live in harmony
But she flew away from me
She followed a dream
That did not include me
Her dreams did not include me
I had a wish
For a beautiful love
But that time draws to close
When I believe there's anyone for me
There's no one for me
Quietly I fade away into history
I let myself believe in dreams

The Vanishing

Original live recording, completely improvised. 
No editing was performed on the original vocal/keyboard recording, but additional instrumental tracks were added in some parts (also one-take improv).

It don't matter much who I am 
No one knows if I'm alive or dead 
One I Love forgotten me 
My agony in obscurity 
How I wish you felt the same 
How I wish there was no rain 
Called out to you from my heart 
But my words disappear on the wind 
I try so hard not to think of you 
But in every moment you're there 
Reminding me what is lost 
How can I go on this way 
I need to get out of here 
I need to disappear 
There's nothing left 
Nothing remains 
This pain's still the same 
I can't help but tell you what I'm feeling today 
I can't help but living this way 
I can't help the way I feel for you 
And every second apart is like knives in my heart 
Every second away, I die a little more each day 
While you live your dreams, I have nightmares 
While you see the world, I see only tears 
I believed in True Love 
I believed you were The One 
I opened my heart to you 
Years went by and I accepted my fate 
Then you came along in the night 
And showed me a new way 
You said we'd go on beyond the end of days 
Very soon you'd slipped away 
I lost you 
Going to the same old nightmare 
Going back to this lie 
After flying so high 
You flew me high above the clouds 
Then you dashed me on the rocks 
And as I lay bleeding you flew away 
There's no more pieces to put back 
Everything's shattered 
All these years waiting for The One, to leave me 
All these years just to... 
You said If I go will you still be open? 
But you will find no one home 
You said please don't release me, but let me go 
But on your return 
You'll find no one to burn 
Long I've been laid to rest 
But you won't mind 
Cause you found a new nest 
Distractions and new dreams 
A better life for you it seems 
I'm just fading, just fading away again

released 26 June 2014 
All Words, Vocals and Instrumentation by Kevin Saturna

Abandon

Improvised Sonic Sketch for July 1st 2014

Where do you go when you're lonely
Where do you go when you're lost
Who do you call when you need someone
Just to talk
Why give yourself away
Why stay
When you know you don't belong that way
And who's to say
The future is not bright for you alone
Whose to sway
The beauty long lost not your own
Look around you
What do you see
What doors are opening
You
Follow your dream
See the sun setting in the west
And I wonder about my next rest
There is an empty bed
But my head is full of you
Head is full of you

(c) 2014 All Words and Music Improvised Spontaneously by Kevin Saturna

That Way

I see you sleeping
Lost in a dream
I see you weeping
The loneliness life brings
But you should know
You’re never alone
Cause you’ve got me
And to me
You are the dream
I’m so thankful for you
Every moment
You choose to spend with me
I cherish this dream
Beautiful dreamer
My good friend
Every moment
With you I wish no end
You make me feeling like laughing
Even when I’m down
Your eyes shine like crystal
Whenever you’re around
My heart is smiling
AHhaye, ahhh ahhheye
Thank you for sharing
Your time with me
Thank you for being
Someone I can see
And even if it don’t last forever
In this material world
In my memory you will stay
I appreciate you

Dreaming Sarah

I wish we could be closer right now
I wish we could be closer right now
I wish you could see me right now
I wish we could be closer right now
I wish we could be closer
Looked out the window
Hoping I'd see you
It's just the wind
Knocking at the side of my house again
How I loved you
And how you loved me
How we fit together so well
Mmm, do tell
Your secret's safe with me
I never wanted to deceive
Your secret's safe with me
Like a poison in your veins
Taking its time to whittle away
Your sanity, your serenity
Wish we were in the light
This darkness it isn't right
What we have is real
Real
Take my hand
Take my hand
Don't let me fall away
Don't let me slip away
Into the abyss that you know


Secret

I never wanted to possess you
I only wanted to be free
Together, together
Wish you would'a tried
To find it in you
Never wanted to possess you
I only wanted us to be free
Even when the door is open
This bird will not fly away
How I wanna see
A world filled with laughter
Love set free
You are my island in misery
Across the continental sea divides
An ocean of uniformity
You rise like the tide
A lighthouse on my horizon
Showing me the waves
And I try to find some rhyme or reason
For how I spend my day
You are a wonder to behold
Inside of you is the light of stars
How I wanna see you shine, shine
You rise like the tide
A lighthouse on my horizon
Showing me the way
And I try to find some rhyme or reason
For how I spend my days

Lighthouse

Just another raw live improv of words and music.

I like to be inside of you 
I like to see your eyes glowing blue 
You are the one I dream of 
You are the one I think of 
You are the one I want to live my life with 
I know this is true 
You are the one I dream of 
You are the one I cream 
You are the one I dream of 
You are the one 
You are the one I think of 
and I'm never done 
I hope you're feel in' good 
As well you should 
I hope you're feel in' good 
As well you should 

I wish I could have known 
I wish I could have known 
You...... 
And when I look upon the endless sky 
It's no wonder that I wonder why 
My place is fairly unknown 
In a world seldom found to be 
There's no rhyme or reason here 
That's infinitely clear 
There's no rhyme or reason 
Wanna go with you to the end 
I've never known such joy 
My dearest friend 
What do they think 
What do they take us for 
Do they think they can just slam this door in our face 
And leave us in disgrace 
Every time I look in your eyes 
Such a nice surprise I just can't believe 
But I believe in our love 
There's someone watching over you 
You know who I'm referring to 
Watching over you 
Oh Watching over you 
You can do wrong, Love 
You always be true to you 
And know who's watching over you 
Will be smiling through and through

You're the One / Surprise

A train stopped on the tracks of Alton Baker Park.  I climbed aboard an empty box car and took some photos.  What could suit a track titled "Train To" better than me daydreaming inside an empty boxcar?  When the train started moving I was still inside.  I wonder where I would have ended up if I'd not have jumped out?  Train to... ???

Take me on the train to Neverland
To a place where I can stand
Don't want to be here anymore
So tired of this same old bore
Just wanted to spend some time with you
What a dream, never could come true
So now I find myself here again
What do you expect of me?
Why do you think I should be?
I've had enough time to turn things around

---

Music, Words and Vocals improvised live

Train To

There's no end to what I have been through/This week was the hardest of all/I thought I would never see the day again/And here I am/I'm ready for life you know/As old as I am there's still time/to lay down in the flowers and pretend the world is not at an end/I love you, all my friends/The end...

(C) 2011 Kevin Saturna, All Rights Reserved

Try 2

I'm sorry you didn't like how I felt inside 
It's time that i made right what is wrong tonight 
I might not be sane 
But feelings in my brain do not lie 
When you went away lost my heart 
Now you dare to say that you love me 
I know better now, I know better now 
Don't think I'd take my life away for you 
Just myself feeling blue 
Don't live for anyone 
Fair enough cause no one lives for me 
Don't love anyone 
Fair enough cause no one loves me

All Words and Music (c) 2014 Kevin Saturna

Fair Enough

lyrics
"Get me out of here" she says 
"I dread my days alone" 
Well I'm waiting for you 
I've been waiting all my life 
Did I disappear?
I might reappear 
When the time is right 

Spend the night with me 
You will see 
Spend your life with me 
You will see 

I miss you when you're gone 
And you're gone for so long 
Got nothing to sustain me 

Spend your life with me 
I'll spend my time with you 

Don't look for answers in false light 
Don't look for me in twilight 

We've got something here 
Something I can't name 

"Get me out of here 
Show me that you're my dear"
"Oh, I need you near me" 
Oh, Love 
Don't leave me lonely any longer 
I can't take another night alone

Live improvisation with added tracks.
released 23 July 2014 
All Words and Music Written and Performed by Kevin Saturna

Twilight

Another improvisation.  I just sat down at the Federation Starship Saturna bridge console and starting playing and singing.  There was no forethought in it, no laboring over editing or mastering. This isn't some great endeavor.  It's just something completely unique that came through me in a moment.  Like the rest there is a certain cringe component when in certain moods, but in other states of mind where I am no so judgmental the raw emotion and the personal knowledge of the circumstances that the expression concerned are moving.  Musically, since I have no expectation of world-class recordings and mastering, I find it memorably catchy and comfortable.   For a raw, unedited improvisation, it could be a lot worse.  While I may have put zero time into these recordings in terms of endeavoring to engineer them acoustically, I spent my entire life developing a relationship with the instrument of this music's expression so that things could flow through me somewhat effortlessly... and of course, you cannot have music without the muses.

I want you Love
But I must let you go
You won't share with me
The truth of where you go

Our love has shined for months on end
But you leave me behind again and again

I hold you, Love, close to my heart
Finding a way to trust is hard for my heart

Wanted it to last forever
No one ever made me shine like you do

There is no pain like separation from you
How can I bear this nightmare always true

I will go on like I always do
Dreaming of a world filled with you

I'll spend my nights alone
I'll wonder what could have been

Resign

They say all the things that have been done
By you and me and everyone
Were something we could take to the end of time with pride
to believe we don't deceive

You know it's been a long time since no time
That's no excuse at all
For right now I don't know how
Doesn't matter anyway...
Right now or then
The feeling's the same now I'm in
The words just get in the way
When all I want to say to you
Is you are the most beautiful
Soul I ever seen, heart I never clean
Wonder is You
Honey now, won't you just remember all
those tender things we said and lived together
Oh pretty thing I'd not trade for you
Not anything

Mourning Reality (excerpt)

Mourning comes
Stars fading
Black gives way to deep blue
Thinking of you

In your eyes
In your eyes
What do I see?

My oh my
What have we done?
Did we fall in love?
Did we?
Underneath the cover
Of night
Did we fall in love?

Love, Love
Love, Love

I can take it
I can take it
I can take this

When I have you
It's so much easier
To smile through the day

Let me come inside
I wanna be with you
Open your door to me
Let's be free tonight

Let me come inside
I wanna be with you
We've got nothing to hide
In the dead of night

Oh you
What did you do?

Let me come inside
I wanna be with you
We got nothing to hide
In the dead of night

What did we do?
We found somethin' new
Oh let me come inside
I wanna be with you
Let me come inside tonight
Don't leave me blue

I'll slip right in
No one'll notice I'm here
Nobody will see me there
It's not a sin
To give in
Can't fight it anymore
Open your door
I want to spend the night

I've got nowhere to go
I've got no one in sight

Do you remember how it felt
the first time ?

salus in arduis:obcento daemonium

People talk about their dreams
But what matters is life now
I don't want to be your fantasy
I'm as real as I seem
All these days alone
I hear not a word from anyone
It's as though the world's forgotten
Or maybe I never was
All these weary nights
As my tears wash my makeup off
And I wonder what could be
Worth living for
and I guess it's alright
To be alone forever
Guess I don't really mind
'Cause I have touched the stars
I have felt loved
I have felt adored
It's gone now
I'm on my own
I once had a special friend to me
Who made me see
There's more to life than living
I will never regret the moments I shared
Or the piece of myself
I gave away
Now when the night ends
I stayed awake the whole time
Why should I sleep on my own
Better to watch the stars
Better to feel
Anything but me

Anything But Me

This came right after "Heart on the Wall" in the same session.  I split the recording in two because of what clearly stood out as distinct expressions.  It represents what happens when I get out of the way and "just let it happen".  Raw live improvisation with no editing, for better or worse.  This is not a mastered studio recording.  It is not premeditated or rehearsed in any fashion, but stands as a unique moment of musical expression that I was not particularly aware of during its moment of inception.  It's peculiar for things to move through me without the manipulation of my conscious intention, only acting as a sort of throughput, then to listen back only to sometimes be pleasantly surprised.  This isn't something I labored over - it's something I just let happen, somehow, like most of the other recordings on this profile.  Sometimes it makes me cringe, other times I listen and hear an authentic moment of honest emotional expression.  While I don't have much in the way of personal attachment to the experience of giving birth to it, I can empathize with the origin of its mood.

I am what I am
I am what I am
I am
Where once was something
Now is nothing
Where once was everything
Can't see now...

When I dream
The monsters all come out from my bed
When I sing
The monsters all come out of my head
Into the light where they're burned by the sun
And that light in your eyes
That melts the ice

I am what I am
What did I want to be?
Say what I say
Don't know any other way
I do what I do, I hide away
If I could show you
How I made myself
Into what I am
If I could hold you
As tight as I run...

In my prison
In my fabricated deception
There's nobody here
There's nobody near
I'm safe in here
Safe in here
The deadly isolation and security
Of knowing no one can touch me here

The Monsters

Wake up, go to "studio", start recording, random stuff comes out that I've never played before.  Sometimes I like it and share it.

Heart on the wall
Stands out at me
Reminding me of love that I can't see
Heart on the wall
Hidden from me
This morning I see the heart on the wall
Curled ribbons
In a rainbow of pastel
Underneath the painting
You made for me
That cost you your skin
And a scene of the moon rising
Or maybe it's the sun setting
In a dying forest
The pale curtains that let the morning light through
Remind me that nothing's left
of last night but Me

Heart On The Wall

Saturna's Nightmare

Once again coming off the flu contributing to rough vocals/cracking voice.  Oh well!
Recording straight from the soundboard so audience noise is minimal.
Renditions of some classics from the past, including the second vocal track "A Reason" which might never have been performed in front of an audience previously, coming after Everything We Need and followed by the first live performance of There and Back Again in 9 years. The Orbiter as encore.

Shattered Voice on Old Classics, Live Performance March 27th, 2013

These are recordings of live improvisations.  The words, vocals and instrumentation that you're hearing went from non-existence to existence in one moment.  On some tracks I went back and improvised additional parts also in one take.

Kevin Saturna

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