"i tried to kill it off" focuses on aspects of my life that i've tried to "kill off" because of my unhealthy & obsessive relationship with them

"sip" focuses on addiction. indulging in the things i know are bad for me, & growing tired of it.

"i just wanted a life with peace" focuses on yearning. wanting better things for myself in life, yet feeling stuck in the same place time & time again.

all together, both songs also focus on obsession. not being able to let go of events and feelings. obsessing & thinking about them over & over again. using addiction and yearning to cope with it all. 

i hope you enjoy. thank you for reading & listening. thank you for your support.

i tried to kill it off

when was the last time you was happy wit me?
when was the last time you was happy wit me?
oh baby, oh baby

don't leave me in the open, don't leave me in the open
all of this weight here, got to realize we coping
why we do that?
why we do that to our selves? why we do that?
when was the last time you was happy wit me?

happy wit me

i dont know
what am i doing?
where am i? 
who am i really?
who am i really?

i, dont, know, where, i, am
but it makes me throw up 
pressure on me make me grow up 
but your luvin helps me to grow

who am I really? (prod. DYC)

@flusherxo
all platforms 

it'd be stupid to lose you
so why would i do that to myself?

stupid to lose you w/ flusher (prod. 1elixoxo x kersie)

love sick - a song about getting lost in alcohol and other substances to numb the pain of failed love. realizing your wrongs after months of avoidance; realizing you weren't really sick in the head, just lost and running. realizing that despite all that, you're still here, thriving, living, breathing, learning.

i was stuck now i go from coast 2 coast
i know that you're missing me but you wont come
i just wanna let you know this shit resolved
i been drinking vodka, spirits, whole lotta rum
i drink a whole lotta red, get you out my head

fucking up my temple
temple, temple
temple, temple
temple, temple

shaking it off but i'm sick in the head
you got me sick in the head
but if you loved me you wouldn't do that to me
you wouldn't do that to me
i'm getting tired of you just telling me off, like how do i make this work?
if you loved me you wouldn't do that to me
you wouldn't do that to me
i'm getting tired of you just telling me i can't save you
i can't fucking save you

so i had to run, i had to bail, i had to go
i medicate, i get the drugs from mexico
i was stuck now i go from coast 2 coast
i know that you missing me but you wont come
i just wanna let you know this shit resolved
i been drinking vodka, spirits, whole lotta rum
i drink a whole lotta red i'm missing you in my mf bed
you my heartthrob, get you out my head

fucking up my temple
temple, temple
temple, temple
temple, temple

shaking it off but i'm sick in the head
you got me sick in the head
you got me sick in the, sick in the-, sick in the-
you got me thinking of what could've been if you just committed to us
i'm so addicted to pain but baby for you i would give it up
gotta detach from you hoe

i know, i know
i know, i know
i know, i know
i know
i, i, i, i know

love sick (prod. seye)

you don't gotta show me, tell me all the things you been on 
you would rather stay at home said fuck them benihanas
open up to me just tell me all the things you wanna
i know that you doing all the things you said you wouldn't do 
why i gotta find out through the grapevine what you been up to?
you know that your man wouldn't be happy if i fucked on you
love when you get slutty, i know you been off the juice

when he gone, she call me on facetime
i been telling you, telling you, make time
you so grimey, grimey
used to these niggas just sliming you out
want me to be in her, sliding right now
i'm in the cut and she slide on me
i'm a hands on learner, anatomy 
i fuck her back now she mad at me 
way that i fit in you got me in love

juice (prod. nazca)

@xiiye0n
all platforms

sôrō,ˈsärō - a feeling of deep distress caused by loss, disappointment, or other misfortune suffered by oneself or others.

& you had a chance, & you had a chance, & you had a chance
diamonds they dancing, dancing, dancing
play wit my temple you play wit my head
you wake up now you asking mans what happened?

& you had a chance, & you had a chance, & you had a chance
& you had a chance, & you had a chance, & you had a chance

im in love wit hiding, bae
woke up today wit a whole lotta bank
if you not busy then tell me today
if you not wit me then tell me the real
we been away for a week right now
im so used to you peacing out
wishing we could talk you got me singing on these metronomes

i'm tired of talking about love, love that don't even find me no more
said that she feel something deep in her soul
that dont let her feel unless its her sorrow

fuck on me slow right now
i could feel your soul right now
i been up im high right now
i been up all night like how
she gon fuck me slow right now
fuck the pills i put them down
ima pop my 1 last bar
that's a lie i took 3 more
we done spanked lil boy, he sore
she tryna suck me up she a whore
she tryna suck me up she a whore
she tryna suck me up she a whore

i'm tired of talking about love, love that don't even find me no more
said that she feel something deep in her soul
that dont let her

& you had a chance, & you had a chance, & you had a chance
diamonds they dancing, dancing, dancing
play wit my temple you play wit my head
you wake up now you asking man's what happened?

& you had a chance, & you had a chance, & you had a chance
& you had a chance, & you had a chance, & you had a chance

im in love wit hiding bae
woke up today wit a whole lotta bank
if you not busy then tell me today
if you not wit me then tell me the real
we been away for a week right now
im so used to you peacing out
wishing we could talk you got me singing on these metronomes

& you had a chance, & you had a chance, & you had a chance
diamonds they dancing, dancing, dancing
play wit my temple you play wit my head
you wake up now you asking mans what happened?

& you had a chance, & you had a chance, & you had a chance
& you had a chance, & you had a chance, & you had a chance

chances w/ xiiye0n (prod. 1Weirdoe)

i was chasing you for miles
i was chasing you for miles
it take a lot to smile

all that pressure on you
all that pressure girl
how you live with that
how you live in your world?
i mean no disrespect

i can see it in your face
tryna put other people in your place
i hit the bong cause i cannot be in this space
you show me love but i try to banish you whole different place

all that pressure girl, make me wanna fucking throw up
i'm just tryna grow up everyday
bae i'm just waiting to glow up

all that pressure girl, make me wanna fucking throw up
since you left me i done glowed up
i'm sorry that i couldn't show up, in the way that i needed to
in the way that i needed

i'm telling, you got me feening
i call you at thanksgiving with no meaning
i told you all of these things, i ain't mean it
and you know i didn't, and you know i didn't, but you still
and you know i didn't, and you know i didn't but you chose up
you know i didn't, and you know i didn't but you
i had so much love but i think i lost it in june
i met you in may but we let it go in october

it's over, it's over, it's over
i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sober

i was chasing you for miles
i was chasing you for miles
now it take a lot to smile

pressure (prod. purc)

dawn (prod. idlyblare)

say2me - a song about words hurting more from the people you love

just watch the things that you say to me
you know i'm sensitive
you're my baby
but you're confusing
and there is no sense in this
but you're still my baby

driving me crazy, loco, oh
i just want to know
what the fuck you gave up on me for?
it's like every time i call your phone, you
you drive me loco
without, without you don't wanna go
you drive me loco
without, without you don't wanna go

say2me (prod. galacticmew & scro)

this bitch so alluring
i listen to all your stories
and when its time for me to talk, you write me off like i was chalk
petty shit you do to piss me off, you look-

you look just like a song called white ferrari 
i know sometimes it feel like you don't got nobody
i don't just speak, i walk the talk
ill be the key, if you the lock
and your friend stay all on my cock, i think she like me
when is you sliding? when is you-

sad songs, doing me wrong, i won't cry
sad songs, sad songs, when is you?
sad songs, doing me wrong, i won't cry

driving me so crazy

this bitch so alluring
i listen to all your stories
and when its time for me to talk, you write me off like i was chalk
petty shit you do to piss me off, you look-

you look just like a song called white ferrari 
you look just like a song called white ferrari
and when its time for me to talk, you write me off like i was chalk
petty shit you do to piss me off
you look just like a song called white ferrari

white ferrari (prod. seye)

baby i was with whatever
doing this shit to me bitch, you must've thought you was clever
she call my phone again, ringing me i swear that i'll fucking dead her

confident in my abilities
confident in my ability

i caught myself writing all these love letters
to someone who couldnt even show me fucking better
i caught myself writing all these love letters

baby i was with whatever
doing this shit to me bitch, you must've thought you was clever
she call my phone again, ringing me i swear that i'll fucking dead her
baby i was with whatever
doing this shit to me bitch, you must've thought you was clever
she call my phone again, ringing me i swear that i'll fucking dead her

confident in my abilities
confident in my ability

dead her (prod. 4_head)

you still think i care about all them hoes?
i cant have no feelings for no twitter hoe, i want you
got me spinning all around like vertigo

want no ig hoes, i want you
just take off yo clothes i'm coming through
i know you been thru hell in the past
i know you just want to go, baby don't put me through that

they tryna tell me who i should be
fake niggas around me i can't go there
i just want your love in a cup
mix it wit a bean & go nowhere

i can't have no fans, i want you
just want you, just want you

you still think i care about all them hoes?
i cant have no feelings for no twitter hoe, i want you
got me spinning all around like vertigo

want no ig hoes, i want you
just take off yo clothes i'm coming through
i know you been thru hell in the past
i know you just want to go, baby don't put me through that

twittr ho (prod. nephminaj)

i've been on the run
i've been on the run, peace out

bleed from my arms, cause these thorns poking my skin
& you fill me with a grin
& im missing what it's been 
& im hoping we could end it all
now i know what it is

call me when he's hurting you, when your patience grows thin
i just can't stand watching you, this jealousy is a sin
call me when you missing me, but only if you mean it
lust filling you up, but what is sex with no meaning?

your acts show you love us, but i can't process your treason
people change like the seasons, said my love for you had you geeking
heart throb, now you bleeding
told you i could clean you up, but I guess you stopped believing; leaving
I guess you stopped
said my love for you had you geeking

I was hoping that you'd stay, stay hoping that we could
come together & we could link up
I've been on the run, peace out
I was hoping that you'd stay, stay hoping we could love
stay hoping we could love

I was hoping that you'd stay, stay hoping that we could
stay hoping we could link up, I've been on the run, peace out
stay hoping we could love, &, & link up
come together & just link up
I've been on the run, we could love

hoping, we could love
I've been on the run so
I was hoping that
stay hoping that we could link up

it's better to have loved & lost you
than to never have loved you at all

peace out (prod. killua55)

psy·cho/ˈsīkō/

this shit ain't working, no it ain't it, no it ain't it, no 
are you delusional? or do you know what you do to me? 
what you do to me?

this shit ain't working, no it ain't it, no it ain't it, no it ain't, no
this shit ain't working, it's toxic, toxic
so it ain't it, no it ain't it, no it ain't working

you unblock me 
so i unblock you, go back to this damn cycle
i think i'm dealing with a psycho 
baby girl, we so stuck up in this cycle 
fight & then you ride me into siko's paths
sometimes i can't even cry bro
save me, you need a fucking bible

but you hurting, this shit ain't working, no it ain't it, no it ain't it, no
are you delusional, or do you know, do you know, do you know?
what you do to me?
what you do to me?

i think i'm dealing with a psycho 
we so stuck up in this cycle
i think i'm dealing with a cycle
i think i'm dealing with a psy-

ˈsīkō (prod. sh1nky)

interlued

https://soundcloud.com/khujaen/despite

gone (prod. seye x khujaen)

i heard a story that, grief is just love when it don't got nowhere to go
i'm so sorry that, i couldn't be there for you, don't want you on your own
i heard a story that 

that one day
we wouldn't be okay, we wouldn't be okay
we wanna be okay, i wanna be o-

i had a heart so big, the world couldn't handle it 
i had a love so strong, your mind couldn't fathom it 
i had a bitch so bad but she could be badder though 
you could do better though, oh

enough about me, enough about you, enough about us 
enough about love, enough about grief, enough about trust 
you could do better

trust, you could do better
you could do better though
enough about trust
you could do better though
you could do better though, oh

how much i love you
how much i love you

i heard a story that, grief is just love when it don't got nowhere to go
i'm so sorry that, i couldn't be there for you, don't want you on your own
i heard a story that one day
i couldn't be there for you, don't want you on your own
i couldn't be there for you, don't want you on your own

grief is just love with nowhere to go (prod. sh1nky)

loving you hurts, i did you worse, i
can't even lie to you if i said, "i ain't missing you"
this a lil letter to you, i'm tired of starting new
can't you see i'm missing you? 
i'm tired of starting new

all of the shit that we built
why is it falling apart?
i pay the price like a bail
i'm missing you but you gone
and i'm missing you but you gone
and i'm missing you but you gone

starting new (prod. dreamboi)

chances, chances, chances
chances, chances, chances
i'm missing bad bitches even though they bad for me
i'm missing bad bitches even though they bad for me

bad for me (prod. l1sten)

all these comments on my lifestyle, this shit get depressing
we lost the path, so many times, so we had to cope (in drugs)
murder she wrote, my brother's keeper, i keep the hope up
i keep the hope up, so i gotta hold up on you

she think she can save me, bitch save yourself
she think she can save me, bitch save yourself
she think she can save me, can't save me
why would i do that?
summer passed, i ain't even fucking enjoy it
hurt my mental but you-

all these comments on my lifestyle, this shit get depressing
we lost the path, so many times, so we had to cope
murder she wrote, my brother's keeper, i keep the hope up
i keep the hope up, so i gotta hold up on you

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
yeah, hello? yeah, hello? hello? hello?

i've been ringing your phone
i've been ringing that-
i've been ringing that-
i'm just tryna let you know that
hello?

all these angels up above, all these angels up above, they know the real
all these angels up above, all these angels up above, they know the real

but i can't live in the past, nah
why would i do that?
i got so much coming in, my pissy, pissy brat
hurt my mental, but you really not that bad
glue & legos, they fall apart but we intact

i got your back, i got your back
hello? bae, bae
pull up, pull up, pull up, pull up
hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hola

yeah, hold up
yeah, hello?
yeah, hello? hello? hello?

i've been ringing your phone
i've been ringing that phone
i've been ringing that phone

i'm just tryna let you know that
miss when you'd throw it back, back, back, back
but i can't live in the past, nah
you can't save me, you can't
yeah, hello?

all these comments on my lifestyle, this shit get depressing
we lost the path, so many times, so we had to cope (in drugs)
murder she wrote, my brother's keeper, i keep the hope up
i keep the hope up, so i gotta hold up on you

pissy, pissy brat
hurt my mental, but you really not that bad
yeah, hello? hello?
yeah, hello? hello?

pissy brat (prod. baalbad)

"vapors" focuses on self-love, or rather the lack of it. wanting so much good for myself but not taking the proper steps to fulfill the voids within my own life

i'm hoping that you understand
i'm hoping that you understand
i'm hoping that you understand
i'm hoping that you understand
i'm hoping that you understand

i don't even love myself
i don't even love myself
put all my hoes on a-
put all my-put all my feelings on shelves
i don't even know

i don't even know myself as much as i
think i do
i don't even know myself as much as i, think i do
i been running through my city, i don't care
i miss touching on your curls, all your fears

i had loved ones tell me this life ain't fair
i guess it's just what we make it
cling on to love i say i don't need, but baby i can't even fake it
i thought my life would be fixed, if i just committed to paper
then i got addicted to vapors 
then i got addicted to vapor

smoke it up, light me up
i'm hoping that you never give it up
tell me you-tell me you left me, hoe
tell me you-tell me you left me, hoe
she tryna leave me out
i might just go fuck another hoe
this shit fictional
swear i'm tired of putting up with these girls

i'm hoping that you understand
i'm hoping that you understand
i'm hoping that you understand
i'm hoping that you understand
i'm hoping that you understand

i don't even love myself
i don't even love myself
put all my hoes on a-
put all my-put all my feelings on shelves
i don't even know

i don't even know myself as much as i
think i do
i don't even know myself as much as i think i do
i been running through my city, i don't care

i don't even know myself as much as i
think i do
i don't even know myself as much as i think i do
i been running through my city, i don't care

i don't even know myself as much as i think i do

vapors (prod. voiceluvv)

letting go
craving your touch
love your voice
love your touch
love your voice
letting go

i think that it's so depressing
how much i love
how much i sacrifice for you
and i can't get you out my mind
all i really do is just, sip on the wine & smoke all this dope
and you're still here
and you're still here

but you
still, still, still, still-
i can't fucking be nowhere
when i'm not-
i cannot, be nowhere
without just thinking about you

i'm just thinking about you
you, you
i swear i'm tired of thinking about you
thinking about you

why'd you come into my life just to say goodbye?
why did you come into my life?

bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye
bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye

just to say goodbye, just to say goodbye
just to say goodbye, just to say goodbye

letting go
craving your touch
love your voice
love your touch
love your voice
letting go

bye (prod. idly blare)

i know, i know, i know
i've been so selfish, ugh
you popping adderalls
pills do kill, they serious

laneswitch, go down other roads
but is it love or lust?
i tell you, "i don't know"
you tell me you don't know

fall in these puddles though
they shouldn't hurt me but they be
fall in these puddles though
i tried to kill it off
but i love so hard bae
good sex with a good day
i tried to kill it off
but i love so hard

telling you that i needed ya
you just got me feening ya
you just got me feening ya, feening ya
heart so big, this avalanche
needing ya, im needing ya, im needing ya
needing ya, im needing ya, im needing ya

nedehnya (prod. w1llidk)

more than anything, that's all i want
more than anything

i just wanted a life with peace
i just wanted a life of love
i just wanted a life with drugs
i just wanted a life with bread

bread, bread, bread
this bitch really ain't shit
she just fuck with my head

sometimes it just don't go how we want it
sometimes it just don't go how we want it
sometimes it just don't go how we want it
sometimes it just don't go how we want it

more than anything, that's all i want
more than anything
more than anything, that's all i want

i just wanted a life with peace
i just wanted a life of love
i just wanted a life with drugs
i just wanted a life with bread

bread, bread, bread
this bitch really ain't shit
she just fuck with my head

i just wanted a life with peace
i just wanted a life with drugs
i just wanted a life with drugs
i just wanted a life with bread

bread, bread, bread
this bitch really ain't shit
she just play with my head

i just wanted a life with peace (prod. zukobain)

i just need a lil sip
i just need a lil sip
i just need a lil second
i just need to stop drinking
i just need to stop
thinking that we could be better

ima just let her go, if she wanna walk just let her
i'm tired of trying with you
i'm tired of trying, i'm tired of lying with you
i'm tired of making this damn bed that i can't get up from
trying with you

i just need a lil sip
i just need a lil second
i just need to stop drinking
i just need to stop
thinking that we could be better

i've just been chasing hoes
i've just been pacing hoe
i've just been pacing and thinking that we could be better
i've just been chasing hoes
i should be chasing dough
i should be chasing

sip (prod. sh1nky)

i just want some real, want some fun
what is fun to you?
what is fun to you?
i just want some real shit
what is fun to you?
how you play these games with me?
what is fun to you?
what is fun to you?
what is fun to you?

i need a bunch, bunch, bunch
i need a motherfucking bunch
soak up all my ribs just like a sponge
and leave me dry

i just want some real, want some fun
what is fun to you?
what is fun to you?
i just want some real shit
what is fun to you?
how you play these games with me?
what is fun to you?
what is fun to you?
what is fun to you?

i know, i know you've been through so much
i know, i know you've been through so much
you can't keep me as your crutch
i can't keep you as my crutch
i can't keep you as my crutch

i need a bunch, bunch, bunch
i need a motherfucking bunch

crutch (prod. neonmaid)

you're like a rolling stone
let you heal me like geronimo
i'm like a poet though
speaking to you through the metronomes
some day i gotta let you go
some day i gotta-i know
some day i gotta let you go, i can't focus on these girls no more
you're like a rolling stone
let you heal me like geronimo
you're like a rolling stone
let you heal me like geronimo
some day i gotta let you go
some day i gotta-i know
you're like a rolling stone
let you heal me like geronimo

xoet (prod. seye)

this song is about my life

i rot so much, i run
i tried telling you
i tried telling you 
i rot so much, i run
from myself, from myself
i tried telling you 
i feel like such a mistake
i feel like such a mistake 
and my life feels so fake
and my life feels so fake
and my mind's so against me
running me into the ground
i tried to love but my heart feels so fragile
so
i'm just calling for some help
but i can't make a sound 
but i can't make a sound 
but i can't make a sound
but i can't make a sound
for myself
for myself
i rot so much, i run
but i can't make a sound

help
help
help
help
help
help
help
help
help
me

help (prod. dustinhurlbrink x fefi-k4r)

i don't wanna be here no more
i don't wanna be here, i'm not supposed to be here
i don't wanna be here no more
i don't wanna be here, i'm not supposed to be here

do you need a friend?
cause i suck at that
i do
but i, but i really want touch
physical touch
first
wont you be my crush?
i got shit inside me
voices give me anxiety, anxiety
voices, voices give me anxiety, anxiety
voices tell me i'm dying, i'm dying

dying
i don't
wanna be
here no more
no, no more

i don't wanna be here no more
i don't wanna be here, i'm not supposed to be here
i don't wanna be here no more
i don't wanna be here, i'm not supposed to be here

do you need a friend?
cause i suck at that
i do
but i, but i really want touch
physical touch
first
wont you be my crush?

i dont want to be here no more (prod. pitsearches)

i don't want your adoration
i don't need congratulations
you don't give you just taking, from me
you not real, you just faking it

i don't want your adoration
i don't need congratulations
you don't give you just taking, from me
you not real, you just faking it

you could've told me that you needed familiarity
you don't want no chicken, you just want that beef
you don't want to fix it, you have no belief
all them voices in your ear that fuel your misery

i can't help that, i can't help that you
undesirable, sirable
i don't want your love, no, no more
i don't want your love

just let go, just let go, jus let-
suck me like a vampire, skin turn white like snow
sip that 4 loko, get me out your head
undesirable, sirable

you left, you left me
you left, you left me
undesirable, sirable

i don't want your adoration
i don't need congratulations
you don't give you just taking, from me
you not real, you just faking it

i don't want your adoration
i don't need congratulations
you don't give you just taking, from me
you not real, you just faking it

adoration (prod. lvcien)

reasons is a song about having to let go of something you thought was working out

i don't know how to

said you need a restart, i don't know how to 
let it go

just write something
dip after loving me
let it fucking go
go
let it fucking go

i don't know
telling you i can't breathe
telling you

said you want a restart, i don't know how to 
let it go
said you want a restart, i don't know how to

just write something
dip after loving me
said you need a restart, i don't know how
just let it go
said you want a restart, i don't know how to

khujaen

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