1st official EP, microphone quality still not great but better things on the horizon (new mic on the way)

wasted my time gettin high
never thought id be that guy
if i could go back damn hell i would
but id be good, like i should
so, much time lost
but i didnt know the high would come at this cost
depression, the obsession
youd think by now id learnt my lesson
thru all of the pills and all of the ket
dont some s**t that i, regret
how'd i get into that mindset
one more hit just to forget
will i make it to the other side
i try to give up, would you trust me i tried
but i cant help, bein this way
aint got no excuse today

wont somebody help me fix myself
worryin about my health
no i cant do this s**t forever
but f**k it while im yung, whatever
wont somebody help me save myself
im struggling with my mental health
i gotta give up its now or never
cuz one day there'll be brighter weather

bleak

waster (prod Lonewitch)

sorry, really ill atm, cant really produce

really wanna get some rest
my heads flowing wit thoughts of death
check my phone its 4am
the fuck am i awake again
take another vodka shot
got bad feelings i gotta block
yeah my brains startin to rot
but ill be gone, it wont be long
write a song to keep me calm
the melodies will keep me warm
they got me on another plane
the medication keeps me sane
i only got myself to blame
it always fuckin ends the same
always fuckin end the same
stuck in a rut of
never bein good enough
tryna prove to my self
that im worth it all along
write another stupid song
to stabilise my mind
but i cant seem to find
a perfect fuckin sign

iv no patience
my heads still racing
my only light is
my imagination

pack myself another bowl
i only bong i never roll
that good shit gets me in the zone
an i know i wont overdose
seen that shit and bought the shirt
too many fuckin years of hurt
addiction leaves you in the dirt
even worse, in a hearse
leaving broken hearts behind
crying cuz its not your time
you thought it would all be fine
and so you took another line
you never thought that you would die
never thought that you would die

iv no patience
my heart still racing
my only light is
my imagination
and
im so sick of
all the hurt and trauma
the petty lies and all
the high school drama

October

patience (prod yunny goldz)

way back in our childhood we all fucking dreamed of
growing up and marrying our princess and princes
think we were deceived by the movies that we seen cuz
now were all defective, theres nobody to fix us

might a had a few that we thought we could trust but
in the end peoples true intentions they get sussed out
broke you down now your chest is feelin like a husk now
only thing that brought you all together it was lust now

searching for the right one will they ever crop up
all we want is somebody to care and fucking love us
friends around you seem so fuckin happy and it sucks but
will it really matter when we're all just fucking dust huh

precious, your so fuckin gorgeous
20 guys crushin on you, how nauseous
romance aint dead but this shit atrocious
pressure of the game yeah, enormous

three fake words
they all say
but all they want
is their own way

three fake words
its all false
love yourself
you need your own support

lecture all your friends you dont wanna see them hurt but
the way you treat yourself, worse than fuckin dirt yeah
got another guy and his eyes are on your skirt as
your crying deep inside as his hands ride up your shirt yeah

night turns in to day he dont call you in the morning
shoulda seen the signs but you ignored the warning
putting on a act cuz you're so used to performing
its just a fact that, your too used to conforming

precious, your so fuckin gorgeous
20 guys crushin on you, how nauseous
romance aint dead but this shit atrocious
pressure of the game yeah, enormous

precious, your so fuckin gorgeous
20 guys crushin on you, how nauseous
romance aint dead but this shit atrocious
pressure of the game yeah, enormous

fozzi

atrocious (prod. tonari)

just a rough cover of a song I used to love

listen to the original if you haven't

u killed me with goodbye (A Day To Remember Cover/u had me @ hello)

cop me in E15 slowly glowin up
i aint blowing up cuz my flow it f***n sucks im
just spinning in my room from the mother f***n dutch
and im running low on vodka better fill my f***n cup
its been 31 days of this good for nothin month
but you c***s better believe it im the best out of the bunch
gimme time and i will prove it i just need some f***n luck
i dont need a f***n shrink i just need another blunt

gotta do this properly
dont let this get on top of me
one day ill win the lottery
just stay out of my property
im building my monopoly
set my alarm get up early
cuz honestly refuse to live my 
life stuck in this poverty
the drama doesnt bother me
just another anomoly
im all about comradary
and less about the mockery
im feeling kinda wobbly 
but dont treat me with snobbery
i fix myself some broccoli
and listen to pete doherty
but i can find the words to say 
just waste the f***n day away
i put my weakness on display
and pray that somebody will stay
i gotta go i cant delay
my transformations underway
cuz im someone i cant betray
myself i will always obey

whett (prod ShineBless x DripCash)

made this back in Oct, never got around to releasing

cannot let, them kill my mind
im finding ways, to stay alive
so take a breath, and drown it out
we'll work out what, its all about
well, find out ways, to kill the time
i never want, to say goodbye
until the night, turns into day
you keep my, monsters at bay

looking in the mirror
devils smilin back at me
I wish somebody else could
see the demons that I can see
but they never seem to go away
I cant think clearly
this must be a daydream
im stuck in a fantasy
never gettin round to
doing all the things i should do
and you know that if i could i would
fly to the moon
and emotions i cant explain ill
write down for you
you got a front seat to the kiki show, so
enjoy the view

cannot let, them kill my mind
im finding ways, to stay alive
so take a breath, and drown it out
we'll work out what, its all about
find out ways, to kill the time
i never want to say goodbye
until the night, turns into day
you keep my, monsters at bay

killin time, an kickin back
on this old time railway track
stay with me for one more night
I cannot bear to say goodbye

bluebell (prod Cl6udy x Sovde)

kiki's gone pop-punk for the day

I think today ill go and clear my headspace
thoughts are racing, cant seem to control it
need a distraction ill find a new place
change of scenery always helps me calm down

but i never seem to find a way
to break out of these darkened days
my demons never let me go
but im used to it anyway

one last chance to change my life and i
cant bear to be left behind and im
searching for a reason why im
always the one who says goodbye

one more time im asking why I
cant make no friends im way too shy I
just sit alone in bed and cry
i cant wait until the day I die

think today im slowly going crazy
cabin fever messing with my sanity
one thing i cant be its f***n lazy
if i dont keep swimming i will drown

but i never seem to find a way
to find the perfect words to say
my demons never let me go
so here they are out on display


one last chance to change my life and i 
cant bear to get left behind and im
searching for a reason why im
always the one who says goodbye
and its
one more time im asking why I
cant make no friends im way too shy I
just sit alone in bed and cry
i cant wait until the day I die

dissipate (prod vxsma x slayingibis)

losin my own pace i swear she in love widda chase but its all b******t and i cant be f****d now
got no motivation to continue conversation now my dm's lookin like a ghost town
get lost in the bottle every night i know its awful but i got some problems i cant explain
spent so many years just tryna fight away the tears but all im left with is the f****n comedowns

so empty within
hollow mind im devoid
patience wearing thin
contact I avoid

shadows in my head are always fillin me with dread i know i said that i was good but im not
seeing apparitions in the corner of my vision when its dark inside my room im so lost
last night i thought id die my heart was going overdrive i cried i screamed but in the end didnt mind
guess im glad to still be breathing guess im glad my hearts still beating but its all too much for me make it stop

so empty within
hollow mind im devoid
patience wearing thin
contact I avoid

phantom (prod jdxprd)

she comes and she goes
where she's at no one knows
but she's all in my head
and i'm feelin alone

i try to forget
all about her and so
keep myself occupied
shoving lines up my nose

i don't want attention
i don't need that pressure in my life
just smoke away my problems
every night im getting high
never seems to work i hardly ever sleep at all
and i find it hard to f*****n drown out all the issues on my mind

when will s**t get better
i need a way to fix the life that i destroyed

she comes and she goes
where she's at no one knows
but she's all in my head
and i'm feelin alone

i try to forget
all about her and so
keep myself occupied
shoving lines up my nose

i don't want wanna wake up
motivation i just cannot find
just lay in bed depressed all
day i wanna f****n hide
kiki's feelin s****y wont somebody cheer me up
coz the days are getting shorter, once again i'm running out of time

she comes and she goes
where she's at no one knows
but she's all in my head
and i'm feelin alone

i try to forget
all about her and so
keep myself occupied
shoving lines up my nose

anemia (prod kyoa)

didnt quite work out how i imagined but f it, just for fun rli

...

do you ever think of me at all? I doubt it
nowadays I don't know who I am, and who I ever was I dont recall
didn't you care about the memories we made?
why'd you walk away bae? i got nothing left to say

you left me all alone but
I do not blame you
why would you stay here?
who the hell would want to?

why should I try?
nothings right, my lifes a lie, I can't keep up this charade
one more line and I'm high
your startin to trip, im losin my s**t, i wont play your petty games

cold on my shoulder when I rest my head, but once it was so warm
late again its 3AM but I cant sleep, and this is now the norm
I ask myself such stupid questions
like who am I this time, still I tell myself I'm fine

you left me all alone but
I do not blame you
why would you stay here?
who the hell would want to?

why should I try?
Nothings right, my lifes a lie, I can't keep up this charade
One more line i might die
im losin all hope, i just cant cope and i think i'll die alone

losin it (avril lavigne cover)

im wishing some one would like me
i guess theres just no one like me
my love is imaginary
my life un satisfactory
the nights are cold and getting colder
i stay at home and write my songs
thinking of words to clear my head
girl i think you've got me wrong

got no control
feels like im broken inside
my guilt consuming my soul
im out of time

pretty little thing some
marie antoinette im
tryna get to know you
can you keep a secret
she'll just waste my time

im just tryna glow im
always feelin low i
give my fuckin all but
no one wants to know I
need some good advice

before her eyes 
i will not die

im wishing things would just work out
they never do i dont know how
if i should pass on in my sleep
will anyone remember me?
our lives are short and getting shorter
so take it in before it ends

i cant just sit and watch my life pass me by
ill use every second or at least i will try
i cant just sit and watch my story get old
ill live like a kid until my final goodbye

babydoll (prod Tokyonite)

was it worth all that you gave to him?
did you think that he was all that you were worth?
i know you say that you are over it
but i cant shake the feeling your not over this
words are easy but my trust is hard to gain
fireworks will end the darkness still remains

paranioia, jealousy
suffering from empathy
put myself right in your place
I always wanna see your face
your eyes they're filled with pain and joy
they speak to me i hear their voice
i wanna tell you how i feel
but censorship comes over me

cant let you come inside of me

was it worth all that you gave to him?
did you think that he was all that you were worth?
i know you say that you are over it
but i cant shake the feeling your not over this
words are easy but my trust is hard to gain
fireworks will end the darkness still remains

feel u (prod wetmall x yunny goldz)

all of the scars upon my back mean i belong to you
i got my hand wrapped round your throat, ill choke you up if you like that boo
girl when you beg me for my love i gotta give it to you, its yours, it'll always be
just stick around after cuz i'm intoxicated by you

youre the only one
i ever think about
i don't care bout my time
when not with you
i'm such a sucker for you now
i think ill always be

crazy for your taste
i need a fix i'm just a
junkie for you love
i cannot stop
if i overdose tonight
i think i'd rest in peace

all of the scars upon my back mean i belong to you
i got my hand wrapped round your throat, ill choke you up if you like that boo
stay with me tonight and we could kill a lil time, dont lie, i know what you want
you wanna switch on me tonight? well baby i want you to

switchblade fantasy (prod prettyscxrs)

hold on dont make a sound now
cuz you might push me over the edge
and if my veins bleed out
and i scream for help
would you pronounce me clinically dead

will i ever be sober
from the relentlessness of my thoughts
i feel my senses rush
while my stomach drops
and im making my bed in hell

bruises cover my body
(body)
depression poisons my mind
(mind)
cut me out of the picture
(picture)
i cant go on with my life
(life)

apathy is too real with me
feel like im my worst enemy
i dont hate myself but i wish i did
cuz my thoughts are gettin heavy

hold on dont set me off now
cuz i dont know what il do next
cuz im unstable
and im capable
of being way to easily lead

will i ever be over
all the pain inflicted on me
i feel my mood drop down
as i come around
and im shaking thought you could tell

weighin up (prod TIreDeAD)

theres a couple ghosts that haunt everything that I do
and everyone that I
attempt to make a connection with its just destined to lose

throwing out my past to flames in hopes we can stay warm
it'll burn in ashes
I know you got the same pages theyre all battered and torn

filthy little marks on you shout you'll never be mine
even if you want to
we can only live our lives within shadows of doubt

readin back wont help us out
we gotta write another chapter
stay with me a little while
and we can have forever after

wish i was your only love
your dying husband childhood crush
your innocent and faithful slut
the best that you could ever fuck
so how could you be so heartless
why was i not good enough?

obnoxious little freak that i am i get jealous of those
that were there before me
my friends tell me it makes no sense to get strung up on hoes

fiction (prod alexanderbierk)

sunlight never seems to shine
feel like im just wasting my time
and if i asked then could you be mine?
or would you tell me that im way outta line?

lost here alone in the rain
planned on getting out for the day
hop on the 25 a train set for paradise
a board at my feet and the wind in my hair

four million miles away
is only two if you would meet me halfway
im tryna make everything okay
dont wanna fall into a heartache cliche

dark days carry on
its like im running half blind
you open my eyes
give me signs of life

all that i have is for you my love
ill give you everything i have but it dont feel good enough
where would i be without you?
i dont wanna think about it

heartache cliche (prod kys)

lookin back on life i find it hard to forget
all the misery and regret
think of what i would change if i could do this again
but would i end up the same old way

secrets i hold ill carry them to the grave
i cant just let them go it causes me too much shame
hiding inside all of my deceit and lies
i tell myself ill be fine and pray for merrier days
hushaby baby dont say a word
cuz ignorance is our bliss tonight i much do prefer
an enchanted charade we can keep up our facade
we can carry on forever

as time stops, i admit
i fear i cant go on
but with you
i just belong

lookin back on life i find it hard to forget
all the misery and regret
think of what i would change if i could do this again
but would i end up the same old way

stitchin back the pieces that have fallen apart
but im findin it way too hard
i cut myself on the mirror jigsaw fragmented shards
think its time for a brand new start

all of my life it seems im tumbling down
tryna pick myself up but i cant get off the ground
take me away i swear my debts i will pay
ill set everything straight and go along with the crowd
vultures circle round my home
i know kiki's a prince but they aint takin my throne
king of my castle got no time for the hassle
cuz im doing it all alone

as you say, you want me
i say i want you more
so join me
we'll take it all

patchwork (prod heysema)

do you care for me
like i care for you
for eternity
i would bleed for you

if i died tonight
would you miss me like
im the only one for you

everyone is drawn in different shades
kiki's black and white like space and cocaine

so il pay the price
ill buck peeps for lines
ill keep telling lies
i got no restraint

i cant imagine
all the pain and guilt iv caused
theres no going back
think iv gone beyond
show me no mercy
abandoned by god

do you love me like
im no good for you
i write songs for you
to express my thoughts

i cant write them down
i cant find the sounds
to tell you how i feel

everything is bound by rules and games
i dont wanna play im too damn insane

but ill try for you
ill be good like you
ill work hard like you
cuz my love for you

do you (prod ionas)

december brings the rain
and when the clocks roll back
i feel like im not okay

winter wash away
all the wounds that i
collected along the way

where did i go wrong?
i tried my best with you
i thought that our love was true

heartbreaks here again
you took the knives i bought you
sunk them into my back

discarded
just like trash
i hate you
im not worth that

i just cant explain
how betrayed i feel
but most of all ashamed

so much ache and pain
i feel it in my chest
i dont think ill love again

december rain (prod lostcage)

is it worth all that you give to him
do you still think that he is all that you are worth
you told me straight that you were over it
i couldnt shake that feeling, im not over this
words mean nothing to you, trust you only break
fireworks theyve ended darkness here to stay

insomnia bad memories
fuck your infidelity
think you oughta know your place I
never wanna see your face
your eyes theyre filled with spite and rage
they glaze right over when you blaze
i want to tell you how i feel
still censorship comes over me

bitch get the fuck away from me

forget u/feel u pt 2 (prod wetmall)

recall 
the days when
things were
so simple
innocence
undefiled
they seem so distant to me

searching
for something
like cracks in melted glass
its over
hard to grasp
it slipped right through our hands

faded
memories
like photos
all torn

feeling
lost now
we all grew up too fast

empty
defeated
our battles scar
they sting

no one
can hear us
on deafened ears they sink

lost now
i scream out
yet no one
can hear me

iv searched far
and wide now
but hopes nowhere to find

endless
is my pain
there must be some way out
i'm sorry
forgive me
this is my goodbye note

sayonara (black curtains) (prod 11feinly)

in shadows
i stay here
lost in my own despair
my echoes
they haunt through
the thick and stagnant air

the weight of
my anchors
they chain me down to hell
im drowning
in brimstone
this smoke it overwhelms

a labrynth of darkness and my spirit it breaks
suffocating all my hopes away
i stay up all night and then im tired all day
my smile it fades with every breath that i take

yet through it all i find the strength to fight
i promised myself that ill get out alive

shackles (prod tears)

dont talk to me i dont wanna hear your voice
looked right through me like i was a fuckin ghost
all the answers hidden in forgotten books
questions no one asks until they comatose

if i die then at least il'l look good in my grave
drip so heavy it'll make you misbehave
call me morbid, i'm just being honest babe
lost my sense of dignity i cannot change

emotions like a merry go round
gettin dizzy
lose my feet on the ground
i'm feeling nauseous
like im gonna throw up
all my silence
yeah im startin to rush

i need a goth girl tonight
i want blood and pain
cut me til i feel pain
feel somethin once again

ill be there by your side
until my suicide
we could both die tonight
we could both die tonight

is there life after death
can we put that to the test
take in our final breath
lay our bodies to rest

baby you know if we
went ahead with our plan
we'd never kiss again
is it all worth it then?

carousel (prod shmog)

she wanna start me off but ill make this last
i dont wanna waste no time so ill make this fast
i dont wanna play your games cuz im just not like that
i dont wanna get nasty cuz im good at that

you can use your best tricks to get my attention
baby if you told the truth then i might just listen
i am so sick and tired of your stupid lies
if your gonna disgrace my name well then do it right

that promise
that id never hurt you
i stick by my words
cuz im not like you

she wanna start a war but im just not armed
she wanna go nuclear but i just dont care
used to be my best friend and now all i feel
is her animosity and its just not fair

the break up (prod olifye)

leave now
im sick of
your faces
its bullshit

im better
alone now
im fine just on my own

i always knew that
your time would pass

sometimes i lay awake at night and start thinking to myself
was i really all that good a person can i still make things right?

i dont know, dont know how i ended up this way 
i dont suppose this life of mine can start again
i'd ask you how to show me live a normal life now
but i dont really want to that's where the problems lie

stay offline  and turn my phone off
i don't want no human contact
people really make me sick
they just drag me down

stay away from me today
i'm purposely self isolating
people seem to want to drive me
into the ground

witching hour (prod dead yami)

take your secrets off my shelf
cuz i don't recognise you 
if all we are is dust and dirt 
then you're made of glass i see straight through you

stay with me
my darling i cant believe
your truly over me
you cant move on that quickly

show me how to right my wrongs
your good at pointing them out
but your the worst girl come on

take my hand 
we could go anywhere
you know i'll follow you 
until the end of the world

beat me
until my blood driers up
i wont let you hurt me
agony i've had enough

bruises (prod eyelessowls)

self medicating with alcohol
shits gonna be my downfall
im happier when i cannot think
my issues i can ignore

i tell myself i dont wanna die
dont think im bein' honest
i scare myself most every night
imagining my own suicide

in the end in the end 
i think id always cop out
but there's always that chance my mind will
convince me

name a drug and i will place my money
that i gone and abused it
coke ketamine weed and molly
xans vally and the codeine

wine red or white its all good to me
just send another bottle
beer vodka rum whiskey hennessey
its not a party when its just you

the one thing that i said id never be
the path of my father
in the mirror i don't like what i see
dammit kiki lets get sober

all it takes is a real bad day
to get the knife out
in the end deep down
i wanna get set free

odds against (prod mors)

since i can remember shit iv always felt so isolated
are you feeling lonely kiki? fuck me that's an understatement
friends i have i cherish well the ones that aren't yet dead and buried
keep meaning to tell them all that i'm not feeling myself lately

tell me that
you hate me
like everyone
its boring

chew me up
its okay
it'll happen to 
me anyway

tell me lies
its perfect
the truth will only
upset me

spit me out
i love that
good times for me
just never last

everyone i meet i seem to struggle holding conversation
get the sinking feeling they're just being nice for presentation
took me 13 months to write this album got no motivation
i don't want no fame or glory i just crave appreciation

you can tell me the truth
you know that i'm self aware
i'm just tryna improve
but some days i just don't care

you can tell me grow up
and that i'm too immature
but i just need some help
cuz i'm so insecure

spit me out (prod splashgvng)

just a little more time
and just a little more faith
i could be happy today
if you would just walk my way

you caught
both of my eyes
i need shades cuz the way you shine
you could waste all my time
cuz i don't do nothin' else
but sit on my own and cry

just a little more luck
and just a little less hatred
of myself and i bet
i'd find a way to connect

my heart to you
girl you know i could be 
your latest red flag
so darling come play with me

we could watch sum movies sit around and do sum dumb shit
dance like no ones watching drinking red and getting so lit
visit all the cities that we never really been to
wondering what life is all about cuz it will end soon

we could start a cult and simply leave because we got bored
spend entire weekends on the beach riding our skateboards
taking photos of you like a model cuz your so fine
counting down the days that i can finally call you mine

don't think i can wait cuz everything you do excites me
leaves me wanting more i crave you every single moment
put your lips around my neck i'm begging you to bite me
please don't go and break my heart just to spite me

just a lil (prod blvnk)

listen, here's my story
about a kid named kiki
had dreams of fame and glory
but turned out dark and dreary

family was broken b'fore the age o' 1
with no brothers or no sisters he's the only one
other kids at school i guess we got along
but it was hard and before long the loneliness begun
sat up in my room hooked on to 64
the first way i could escape but trust me there'd be more
i was looking up to characters in video games
cuz i'd never really had a role model before

what i got i taught my
self and no one else
my mum she done her best
forget about the rest

when i, hit high school i
tried to find myself i
dyed my hair jet black and
put on my studded belt

still i had the dreams id had back in the past
but it felt a bit like life was going way too fast
waving goodbye to your childhood can freak you out
but the little kid inside of me will always last

listen, no one ever
does and never did
i hope that someone hears me
i hope my friends forgive me

forsaken allegory (prod p3tro)

amateur emo/sadboy artist
YT: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC9X0utt3UsmyzcadfrHUFdg

East London, originally from Brighton

live for them late night chilled out emotional vibes and pop punk summer days

just a sad kid with nothin to lose tryna put those emotions in to music so people got something to remember me by at the end, this is the personal diary of kiki, the freak

I don't have any proper experience in creating music, everything I have done is just doing my best and hoping I can learn, dont take my music too serious i'm kinda just havin fun with it all... still learning to actually sign and mix music so ya i know my mixing and vocals aren't the best, but as Jake the dog says the first step to being good at something is sucking at it - spittin facts

also open to collabs

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