Depression, when your thoughts are so loud you can't even speak. Anxiety, when you constantly feel like you're drowning. If I could count the amount of times I've been called crazy you wouldn't believe me... or would you. If I could tell you all the times Ive stayed in something toxic because I was more comfortable in the pain and too afraid of the unknown you would think they're might be some insanity. I don't believe thats true... I am this way simply because of you.

KRAZY

October 2016 my mother was diagnosed with small cell carcinoma in her cervix. Only 3% of women have been known to have this cancer. When I first got the news I was only 19 I was still trying to figure out my place in this world and I was very much lost. I had never seen my mother sick before but I could see the fear in her eyes grow with each passing day. I wrote this song when I was at one of my lowest points... depressed, anxious and even contemplating ending it all. With my mother in the next room trying to understand how this horrible disease will treat her I sat down and tried to console myself and her through music. 

April 3 2017, I remember this day so vividly it plays in my head like a movie. As me and my manager try to find parking outside the studio for me to record blessings we received one of the worse phone calls. That day it was raining terribly even I was concerned with getting to the studio safely. As a dear friend to all who have meet him, Ryan Mancuso, rode his motorcycle to work a driver had ran a red light and hit him. Hearing the words that he had passed changed my life forever. Ryan was EXACTLY the person who I was speaking to be about in this song. Forgiving, loving and wildly free. As I stepped into the booth not even able to fully processes this news, I sang for him... I sang to him. He has made one of the biggest impacts on my life and sincerely taught me to not be so afraid. Ryan Mancuso you are one of my blessings in this fucked up world.

It's now September 7, 2018. I have experienced two more tragic deaths. I have watched as the world around me crumbles more and more. My mother is no longer able to fight her battle and is now in the care of a Hospice facility. I struggle each day to find the light and to conjure up reasons to keep moving on. I try to count my blessings even if they seem few and far between. 

This song has helped me fight some of my darkest days and with that I hope it can help at least one other person preserver.


ALL BEAT RIGHTS GO TO Syndrome 
https://www.youtube.com/user/TheHipHopFix/videos

Blessings

I know people won't understand this song 

ALL BEAT RIGHTS GO TO Syndrome
https://www.youtube.com/user/TheHipHopFix/videos

CONTRADICTION

Don't teach a woman how to kill because she'll wind up killing you.

ALL BEAT RIGHTS GO TO @ Syndrome
https://www.youtube.com/user/TheHipHopFix/videos

BANG BANG

Somebody to somebody 'cause I am someone... to me. 


ALL BEAT RIGHTS GO TO @ YUSEI 
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2UL6SD7NG6fnvDXB36r7Nw

Killa

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