produced by @johnnyfriend

featuring @rouri404

my favorite view ft. rouri404 (johnnyfriend)

prod by xona <3

-lyrics-
oh god
I don’t know if I feel okay
I’m well aware of everything you say
I’d love to talk but I’m out here in a daze
counting butterflies wondering my.. way
and what you need is something I would love to know
I’m burning bridges every time we grow
It’s been hours, I could f—k up where we go
there’s nothing I would do to change my tone

If I could love, I would’ve 
i got lost in your arms
and there’s nothing I can go on for
but im a mess for you
and that’s my whole truth
I don’t know what I need to… do.
I can tell you what I want now (aw f-)
it’s some security in my head 
I’ll ask you if you’re okay now?
cause I love everything she would’ve said

I don’t know if I feel okay
I’m well aware of everything you say
I’d love to talk but I’m out here in a daze
counting butterflies wondering my way
and what you need is something I would love to know
I’m burning bridges every time we grow
It’s been hours, I could f—k up where we go
there’s nothing I would do to change my tone

wonderful lives align
i love everything you talk about
am I mixed with all these signs?
but it’s worth without a doubt.
maybe I can tell you what I want now
you caught my tongue in a knot, so please..
I’d kill myself lately 
but it’s only cause you left me grief

oh I don’t know what I want...
I’m sick of lying when things go wrong
and you can’t make me feel this, push off
when she’s been better than you could’ve.

i feel okay

spotify

this song means alot to me because i've never talked about growing up like this before :) i hope you guys like it <3

again tyty @kaihaunted for the amazing art, it means a lot to me 
~~~~~~~~

hometown, head down 
walk around, never make a sound, yeah 
8 now, drugged out
every thought in my head is too loud 
on the corner of stumbling to the fucking bottom 
blue pill, red pill, too many fucking bottles 
gone now, and i found 
that this anxiety is killing me now 
13, no dreams 
just trying to get by by any means 
fake smiles, and routines
no one knows what's going on behind the scenes 
never thought i would end up being so pessimistic 
cause i keep breaking myself just to never go and fix it 
no sleep, and i see 
that all i needed was to go and be free

4000 people out here 
thank god i left it that year 
all keep their heads in the mirror 
and their peaks are closer than they appear 
hometown of zombies and ghosts 
fled west, oh i had to go 
got tired of everyone holding back on finding their growth 

19, come spring
i got stuck in the in-between, yeah 
no job, no keys
but i know i wanna be something 
paying rent with loan, i'm feeling so dependent 
start missing my home, and everybody in it 
pain stings, the sound rings
but back home, at least they're in the swings of things 

4000 people out there
at least their visions are clear 
i keep my head in the mirror 
and my peak is closer than it appears
hometown of zombies and ghosts
at least their heads are afloat 
got tired of looking back, wish that i had kept finding my growth

can i ask u some questions?

hometown

Im only human im praying i rot
Im begging for things that i dont really want
Begging for help yeah i needed a lot
They pushed me away now i see what it cost

Dont like this, im nauseous
Im hoping you lost it
The motive, to leave me 
Im selfish dont leave me


And yet i heal, again and again
It feels unreal, to miss your hand
If only i could tell what it meant
Id cut it off right there, but im a mess

Im only human im praying i rot
Im begging for things that i dont really want
Begging for help yeah i needed a lot
They pushed me away now i see what it cost

Dont like this, im nauseous
Im hoping you lost it
The motive, to leave me 
Im selfish dont leave me
//


Im not my father, im barely his son
I stepped on the flowers then hid from the sun
Pushing them further they wish i was done
Sleeping on feathers i miss having fun

Saying “giving up is easy”. Boy you dont know
Ive been trying for so long i guess i cant grow


And the only worth ive ever known
Is when you used to watch me grow

Im only human im praying i rot
Im begging for things that i dont really want
Begging for help yeah i needed a lot
They pushed me away now i see what it cost

Dont like this, im nauseous
Im hoping you lost it
The motive, to leave me 
Im selfish dont leave me
//

how to heal

all me @1spooz

my arms are always so sore
im tired of getting up
i just wanna give up
and im tryna be more like myself
but i cant help being someone else
i dont know what to do
my heart is beating out my chest
and its getting faster by the second 
im secluded now
not making rational decisions
finding work arounds to try and fix it now
cant fix it now 

(i dont wanna be, i dont wanna be alone)

i dont wanna be alone
i dont wanna be alone

now tell me what you'd say
it's not over yet <3

it's not over yet

@55depths
@aurasrevenge
@giabellee

do you remember? 
i started to again.

prod. and mixed by me
thx alex and gia<3
video: https://youtu.be/JT3Tf9qXyrQ

lyrics:
(dth)
like salt in a wound
i've been all consumed
i've wasted my time
i've wasted a life
and with nothing to prove
just a burden to you
is this goodbye?
is it goodbye?

(aura)
ripping out the poem that i wrote for you out of your hand
it hurts seeing u with another man
looking a fool wasn't destined inside of my plan
i don't think i'll ever get out of the sand

but i always knew i wasn't enough 
yeah i hate myself just enough for the both of us
now im confused,
because this is goodbye, but you're someone i don't wanna lose

(dth)
am i fool for keeping notes
back from when you wrote me?
sleeping soundly on the bedroom floor
i fucked things up for sure
(is it goodbye?)
(is this goodbye?)

like salt in a wound
i've been all consumed
i've wasted my time
i've wasted a life
and with nothing to prove
just a burden to you
is this goodbye?
is it goodbye?
like salt in a wound
i've been all consumed
i've wasted my time
i've wasted a life
and with nothing to prove
just a burden to you
is this goodbye?
is it goodbye?

getting closure
i wanna take it back
i know you're hurting deep inside
and i'm the cause of that
i gotta know for sure
i need to see your face
maybe things were never really
at the time or place

(outro)
i wish i met you now
because i still think back to those nights
and how we hated saying goodbye
i just wish we could start fresh
but i wasn't the person i could have been for you
and you had to leave
sometimes we still meet
but only in dreams

is this goodbye? w/ killaura and giabelle

moment

so this is off of my old PC which broke and i lost all the files :p so if mix sounds weird that why,,..hoppeeee u enjoy(:
presave fisheye !!! ffm.to/fisheye

(shoutout @youngburial @dead4cf for gettin on <3)

codependent w/fatse & 4cf (xmichaelwarren)

eyelids (drma x yunny)

produced by grayskies & xona

-lyrics-
and i can’t take that pain
it’s getting me close to death
~ i can’t take
cause i haven’t felt that safe
got me running within my head
~ you feel safe?

and if only i could help
without you cause i hold the guilt
while I’m staying right by myself
and ignoring what you felt
when i could easily tell
the taste of wanting to kill

and i can’t take that pain
it’s getting me close to death
~ i can’t take
cause i haven’t felt that safe
got me running within my head
~ you feel safe?

how did you find me?
do you think i care?
do you think i care at all?
cause im not you
and you fell through
this line of faking truth
i felt that weak
when your hands are all on me, i knew
there’s nothing
i ever loved about you

and i can’t take that pain
it’s getting me close to death (close to death)
~ i can’t take
cause i haven’t felt that safe
got me running within my head
~ you feel safe?

and i'd forget your face
i dont wanna fall again
again
again~

how to heal

kindof

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