A calypso carol considering the relationship between automated supermarket checkouts and the invasion of Iraq. 

Derek Chalmers has an unexpected item in his bagging area [Calypso carol]

A song about the lighter side of sex offending.

Sex Offender (feat. Massimo Dutty)

As sung by Bob Mortimer on the Athletico Mince podcast, now with added music. Lyrics, melody and singing by Bob - I did the other bollocks. 

Love Puddles (feat. Bob Mortimer)

Another wonderful song from the mind of Bob Mortimer via the Athletico Mince podcast - with musical baggage added by me. 

Bright Colours (feat. Bob Mortimer)

Powerful men, powerful people. 

Another of Bob's songs from the Athletico Mince podcast.

Powerful Men (feat. Bob Mortimer)

woodland creatures, cursed by satan
feeding on the flesh of humans

no more carrots, for these rabbits
meat is what they crave

hiding in the forest waiting
to devour your innocents 

no more carrots for these rabbits
meet them in your grave

evil
carnivorous rabbits
fluffy fuckers
with antisocial habits

now your picnic is a bloodbath
rabbits have consumed your face

no more carrots, for these rabbits
meat is all they crave

fear the woodland fear the forest
fear is now all that remains	

no more carrots for these rabbits
meet them in your grave

evil
carnivorous rabbits
fluffy fuckers
with antisocial habits

Kynff'll Sing It 2

Evil Carnivorous Rabbits [Grindcore]

It's me
Pigeon MC
Beak full of beats
Eat worms for tea

A tune about being a pigeon and also a donk MC.

Knyff'll Sing It 2

It's Right Orite Up Ere (feat. Pigeon MC) [Donk]

Wishing Boris all the best with his recovery x

Official Secret (Jenny) [Torch song]

WARNING: This might be considered offensive. Sorry... It's a song about regret.

Is it too late [Contains rude words and sentiments] [Upbeat funk]

Poo In My Beard [Mongolian metal]

An attempt at K-Pop. It's more Pop than K, but a fitting tribute to the man either way.

Time for Weinstein [K-Pop]

Accidentally made a song I'd actually listen to. I even got carried away and made a video for this one: https://youtu.be/X--U6gNuV4g

Newborn lambs and Easter bunnies [Black Metal]

A bluegrass song about roadkill requested by, and featuring banjo and mandolin played by, my Dad. Slightly shambolic lockdown recording of all these acoustic instruments but you should get the idea...

Roadkill (feat. Dr Tom) [Bluegrass]

A vampire laments the curse of coagulation, and his search for the perfect woman. In a dub reggae style. 

NB - Thrombocytopenia is a condition (low platelet count) that causes your blood to be unable to clot properly.

Coagulation [Reggae/Dub]

An attempt at grime by a middle class white guy, and it shows. But nevertheless enjoyable in some ways. A track about trying to exercise during the Coronavirus lockdown.

Pathetic Indoor Workout [Grime]

Knyff is life.  Stabbing you in the ears since 1983.

Knyff

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