Lonesome Jewish Cowboy

Demos

Bagel Jam! (demo-take Two)

Bagel, Oh Bagel with the crispy shell
Add lox and cream cheese it tastes so swell!
Put 'em in the oven, can't wait to be done,
Bagels in the morning are so much fun!
Bagel, Oh Bagel so warm and nice
It even tastes good with peanut butter and rice!
Put em in the freezer so they won't grow mold,
I'll keep eating Bagels until I'm old!

Kosher Bagels!
Kosher Bagels!

Bagel, Oh Bagel got so much soul.
It wouldn't be a bagel if it didn't have a whole!
Spin it on your finger until it's cool
Bagels in the bakery always make me drool!
During passover I am so blue
'Cause you're leavened bread and I can't have you!
Matzah is bland so thin and dry.
A week without bagels gonna make me cry!

Bagel, Oh Bagel onion raisin and plain
If I can't have a bagel I will go insane!
Give me lots of bagels I can eat a ton.
But not too much butter or you'll get the runs!
Bagel, Oh Bagel so great for a Jew
If you were a person, I would marry you.
Bagels in the morning bagels at night, 
If I died eating bagels it would be alright!

Bagel Jam (demo - take 1)

Kugal

The Joy of Judaism

The Eternal Jew

LYRICS
Eight days of the year I really dread
It's the time of the year I can't eat bread.
You could never imagine how it feels
Everything is made with matzoh meal.

Bitter whips that caused saltwater tears
Gave us guilty suffering through the years.
Why can't we celebrate the freedom G-d assured,
Instead of harping on the slavery they endured.

It's no surprised the Jews were running late
Forced to eat the bread not fully baked.
Precious oven time - they could not afford
resulting in a bread just like cardboard.

If there's one thing on which Passover's built
it's that we're destined to feel eternal guilt.
I don't think that I can take this anymore
but I guess it's not as bad as Yom Kippour.
no I guess it's not as bad as Yom Kippour.
No I guess it's not as bad as Yom Kippour!

CREDITS:
Kosher Steve: Guitar
Brian Shamash: All Vocals
Daniel Friedland: Violin
Erik Friedland: Cellos

Copyright 1993
Guitar & Vocals recorded 1998
Strings recorded 12/2012

Saltwater Tears

Copyright 1993

Rabbi Stasik - lead & background vocals
Jonny - bass, rhythm guitar, background vocals
Radim - drums, background vocals
Stevie - lead guitar


LYRICS:
When I wake up in the morning, I feel a pain in my joints.
Don't know where it came from, I kvetch and moan when it hurts!
Got a feeling in my kopf. It's banging and it's throbbing.
So I take and Advil and a nap to sooth my aching noggin!

Oye! Oye! Oye!
Oye! Oye! Oye!
Oye! Oye! Oye!
Oye! Oye! Oye!

Bubbling in my stomach and coming out my ass
During Shabass service I realized that I had gas.
Sat down on the toilet and felt an awful sting.
That was when I realized that I had that G-d damn hemorrhoid thing!

In the bathroom, gay cocken, I feel my bowels constipate!
I can say for certain that it was the matzah that I ate!
So I took a box of Ex-lax and I let the juices flow!
It's coming out so heavy now, I need a funnel when I go!

For no reason, here's the cockney version of "Oy!".

Oy! (Cockney version)

Back in 1993, Professor Stas (still in undergrad at the time) conceived of the now legendary group, Kosher! He recruited his brother, Red to play drums and his childhood friends, Stevie and Jonny. They co-wrote 8 songs that summer, played 1 gig at a bar-b-que in Jonny's parent's house in Baltimore, MD and disbanded the day Stas went back to college in Boston. Red, Stevie, and Jonny went on to form the seminal, experimental rock band, Meshugenah. 

6 years later, when Stas was visiting Baltimore, they decided to finally record 5 of their songs ("The Joy of Judaism", "Kugal!", "The Eternal Jew", and "Saltwater Tears" (featuring longtime friend, Brian Shamash - now a cantor in NY) in Jonny's home studio. 13 years after that, they finished Saltwater Tears and finally recorded "Oy!"

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