I won't believe in God above
If they won't believe in me
Yeah some might say that there's still love
And that's the most you'll ever see
But I don't understand your heart
No I'm not saying that I won't believe
In something I don't comprehend
Guess I'm just talking cause I can

Did you see footprints in the snow
Then follow them out the back
Some drunken spirit of the road
There showed you all I lack
No things they never stay the same
And I'm a lover of chaos and I'll never change
Nothing but God could hold me still
And it feels I am blowing away
I pray that God might me still
Oh and still I am blowing away

Received your message just the other day
I heard the words but could you speak it plain to me
I don't wanna know you anymore
Oh-oh
Oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh

Heard you say you'd like to change your name
Kill everything move to a different state
Take it from me
You won't outrun who you've been
I'll haunt you
I'll haunt you
I'll haunt you

Oh-oh-oh

God Ain't A Man And Ain't Ain't In The Dictionary

Demo for a new song entitled "Out On The Town." Recorded entirely in my bedroom.

Out On The Town

A Musique Concrète piece I wrote at the end of my freshman year as one of my earliest composition assignments. Figured I would post it to give people an idea of what I do outside of songwriting. Dig it

Drop

Demo of a short song I wrote back in January, recorded just after I finished it. Dig it

I Won't Love You Always (Demo)

First track on my next EP, "Avant-Elevator."

There Is No Need

My first official release as "Diaphane," EP to come soon. 


I've been workin the nightshift 
watchin the red shift of that crazy star your on 
wondering where you'll light down 
or whether you'll burn out 
bright enough to see it from my car 

But I'm tired of being tied and bound 
yes I'm tired of being around 
lately I feel so trapped between 
what everybody else want me to be 
and what I've felt for some time is right for me 
and I know we only play a part 
but sometimes, sometimes 

It's nice to pretend 
get a little lost in my head. 
Who am I to say who I'm supposed to be 
if I don't even understand what I mean when I say me 
only questions give you truth 
only ask and you are free 

The dashboard lights have been flickerin 
this body feels lived in 
things burn out quicker than we expect 
calculated obsolescence of my adolescence 
like a ship that's built to wreck 

But give me time 
give me time, I still need some peace of mind 
barely grown in my father's home 
he tried to wrap my heart in stone 
but I never forgot you can't make it on your own 
and I'm doin what I can to be a man 
but sometimes, sometimes 

I still like to pretend 
get a little lost in my head. 
Who am I to say who I'm supposed to be 
if I don't even understand what I mean when I say me 
only questions give you truth 
only ask and you are free 

It's nice to get a little 
lost in the good nights in the middle of the dark 
caught in the headlights, animals at heart 
tell me all your worries, show me where you're hiding 
in your head

Nightshift

A little acoustic demo of a tune from my upcoming Diaphane EP

Me Through You

I've gone back and forth many times over the last almost 2 years about whether I would put this song out, but I've set on finally doing it. It's dedicated my aunt Stacey, who lost her life to cancer in the summer of 2016. I wrote it in the week after she passed while I was overseas, as it was my only way of really coping with the loss away from my family and everyone close to me. She was always hugely supportive of me and all my musical endeavors, always interested to hear what I was working on and encouraging me, and besides that was just one of the kindest and loving people I knew. She gave so much of herself to her family and loved ones, and was always somebody I really admired. Writing this was a hugely cathartic thing for me, and I've struggled with whether it was right of me to put something out like this which is so personal, so much an example of me making art for me, for the purpose of healing, but I've found over the last few years that when I've performed it, I've often had people come to me afterwards and tell me how it reminded them of certain losses they had experienced, and that it was very cathartic for them to hear it and feel that they were not alone in their experience of deep and sudden loss. 
So with all of that in mind, I'm going to be releasing my EP tomorrow as pay-what-you-wish, and I will donate all of the money I make from it over the weekend to cancer research. I hope that my Uncle Ken and his family will take this as a fitting memorial to her and her legacy of selflessness and compassion. Love and miss you aunt Stace.


Lyrics:
Woke up this morning not quite sober
Quite hungover like a tired lover
Do not come over, I'm not ready yet

Last night I drank away all my trouble
Got myself seeing double
I know I'm out of touch but don't fill me in

It's been a long week
A death in the family, emotional atrophy
Mother I miss you, I wish you were close to me
Explain how such a bright flame could just fade away
Bullshit people like to say, at least she's not in pain
Can the family say the same?
Can the family say the same?
Can it stay the same

You burnt out while I was out
I left home without a doubt
I'd see you in 4 weeks time, or thereabouts

I can't remember your favorite song
So I hope this one don't come off wrong
But I need some way to cope now that you're gone

I'll miss those nights when I'd stop by
For a kinder word from a twinkling smile
Sadness never hung around your home too long

And lately I feel in need of that
A little smile a little laugh
To get my mind off of everyone that ain't comin back

It's been a long summer
I know I've got good friends who say that they love me
But do they know me like the ones that have left me
Does it even matter, does it even matter?
Oh I wish I had answers but I've got only questions too
How could you leave me like this?
How could you leave me like this?
Thought we were friends


P.S. One final thing I would like to say, the final chorus is not about my aunt, but about my two closest friends who I had just had a falling out with around the same time, and so I realize that the song is not as pure a memorial as it could, or maybe should, be, but it's what I was dealing with at the time and I don't think that should be censored.

Red Shift

A Death In The Family

A taste of the upcoming Diaphane full-length

I Am A Window (Demo)

Pour Ton Père

Diaphane is an indie-rock band currently in its high concept phase, cosplaying as an ensemble of queer cowpokes who make country music... kinda.