watch as the garden go up in a blaze
the fruit here is ripe, but the roots have decayed
i'll brave the strife if my stride can be tamed
do i have the might to recycle my pain

how do i walk along this line
i feel like this life i live ain't mine
Reggie White
how i'm on the edge
i feel like i'm running out of time
all alone in my bed
all the screaming in my head
if i get this can i rest
is that a luxury for the dead
the way that it go
a weight i can't hold
fangs they don't show 
til their grip start to choke
punish the greed
they unearthed the root
set 'em all free 
the shackles are true

watch as the garden go up in a blaze
the fruit here is ripe, but the roots have decayed
i'll brave the strife if my stride can be tamed
do i have the might to recycle my pain

bitch can't kill my mindset
really been on my grind 
really can't stomach the shit i seen
can't keep it in
can't digest
and tell me why my heart it bleed
just like all the time 
never gone fix these scars it seems
out of sight out of mind
boxed in David Blaining 
stuck here pacing
demons chasin
mmhmm
power to the craven
their hate is baseless
fear got 'em shakin
mmhmm
walls they cave in
hell i was raised in
i can't replace it
mmhmm
time was wasted taken
can i escape it
leave this shell i'm encased in

The Garden Burns

bad bitch on my phone look like Android 18
she tell me i'm pretty or, gorgeous i think
i feel like a Herro i ball in this heat
this fire i'm Nero, it's all in the street
feelin like Sinnoh cuz space what i need
time here is money i demand a fee
do not need love 
just the trust that i seek
room full of clouds like im dusting antiques

affection the loudest 
their knife is discreet
lie with a coward
you'll rest with the weak
give you your flowers
the dead love the spring
lacking the power to keep it in sync
dragging that weight
watch 'em all sink
they can't brave the storm
pulse is faint
breathing distinct
they can't bear no more

around me it grow
keeping it slow
the needle provoked
reap what you sew
bleed in the snow
leaking your hope
follow the glow
that castle your tomb
that grave won't bloom
been born underwater
surface seem doomed

time is a circle i'm trapped in
my future behind me i'm past it
catch up to my past stop the tragic
only gift that i get, is madness
is that why i'm stuck
let it all burn
why you can't jump

i'm busy paying the toll, i've been
tripped by my soles and 
now the whole fold in doubt
my blood it inking these scrolls and they
pure as the moat
quenching my soul in drought
tracked and then raided the trove, i've been
tricked by the gold i'm
blind by the reflections they different
why do they stagnate the growth 
they poisoned the rose
been uprooted see i can't fix it

watch it float away
angels they show up in my dreams
i got some stowaways
and i break down in their gleam
my tears they show the way
questions they stone faced
like "tell me why i can't feel it anymore
the warmth my core craves"

Cuz time is a circle i'm trapped in
my future behind me i'm past it
catch up to my past stop the tragic
only gift that i get, is madness
is that why i'm stuck
let it all burn
why you can't jump

17 & 18

you could have it all
don't even need my help
but we stay involved
think i know you better than i know myself
you my sword and you my shield
tears and blood been spilt
you remind me that i'm real
i can't fold the hand i've been dealt

holding your hand and rebuilding this hell
life cross me up but i never fell
bout my bucks little bitch Tony Snell
its all about trust, you know us excel
world is ours we can do what we want
leave our mark, the hue been flushed
paint the horizon, i'll be your brush
no more surprises, don't lead me on

i know what you're tryna say
i got a spot we can hide away
know it take a lotta energy
to keep it inside
but we'll find a way
i ain't tryna make an enemy
don't mean to pry
but we seldom safe
i feel the intensity
lets make it right
lets have some faith

prodigal son
like KD
eighth to my lungs
you like different 
yeah you free
you some fun
all that chiding 
weighing on you
just like tons
forced your hand 
on the treaty
you on the run
i cant get it 
the switching the sides
we can fix it 
we can revise 
if we build it up 
can we reside
redefine
coincide

all we got is me and you
all these feelings is they true
i would trade it all away
just to have you in my view
keep you in my heart
we like worlds apart
yeah we knew this from the start
but on this brick we march

you could have it all
don't even need my help
but we stay involved
think i know you better than i know myself
you my sword and you my shield
tears and blood been spilt
you remind me that i'm real
i can't fold the hand i've been 

i don't really know what to think
cuz you fucking me up
got me going insane
shake it up like a snowglobe 
Citizen Kane
and you drain all of my hope
a war i can't wage

over it like hardly
you make it hard to cope
foundation of fallacies
i know you lack control

can't deal with it all no more no more
you love cost you can't afford
won't divorce
you'd rather indulge
say you got money, know that shit Bogues
prophecy i been foretold
i think i really isn't fine
are we really intertwined

you get all of me
yeah you're all i need
can i hold it down
can i hold it down
you're all i really think about
weighing on my mind
yeah the world's too loud
i don't know what to do
yeah without you

Proxy

can't resist reminiscing 
tripped on them hurdles you can't get over
other half steady splitting it
creating that schism, outlook ain't hopeful
your voice seem prohibited
cry for help but your tears been muffled
been like this since the beginning
i see it all weighing on your shoulders

i clock you need closure
work long nights for the short exposure
on your Odyssey going Homer
hop on a PJ a young Dozier
can't make a stand sober
can't move forward if it ain't kosher
denim your genes sewed in 
grasp that string, dress unwoven

finally getting even
feeling chosen i ain't even Korean
compress my soul, it been leaking
hole in my chest like im fighting Frieza
stack it up Case Keenum
hide this shit cuz i'm used to thieving
born for this Matt Damon
on the path for peace it wrath laiden

starting to trip
losing my grip
recognize my face
the acid it hit
the ceiling it strip
me and my brothers hank out in the hills
blow propane gas down
gave me a 30, i'm pushing 120
its smoothing the ride out
got me some money
making it flip
these bills a gymnast now
Peja Stojak, making it triple
i ball for the Sac now
ghost face vhip
engine it scream
all i did was back out
zip on the seat
mango zags
fruit taste ripe now

grind for the Payday, Overkill
bout my grain i need some mills
your heart your mind its all unwell
going back and forth through hell
the wandering hard to quell

can't resist reminiscing 
tripped on them hurdles you can't get over
other half steady splitting it
creating that schism, outlook ain't hopeful
your voice seem prohibited
cry for help but your tears been muffled
been like this since the beginning
i see it all weighing on your shoulders

look for the light, in the tunnel of sin
train of thoughts collide now you crashing again
pump your brakes and cling to your grit
wanna see what you began by the end

down that handle can't carry
the evil in the world it scary
even those close like family
put my heel to they larynx
they talking bullshit it hilarious
like pussy don't talk to me
he must ain't thinking clearly
one and the same we ain't

they lie they leave
you love you weap
what remains
just as strong as you need
the pain when you breath
thoughts lead to your grave
tryna come out on top
both sides pull and tug
bury the memories
move on or get stuck
you can't never flee
the light come after dusk
don't wait on wait on me
break the break the line

u r light

hate talk behind tints
see words don't entice me
buy all this shit
i ain't checking the pricies
in my own world 
and i'm talking i'm laughing
i'm singing i'm jamming
just me a young Pisces
got me some beef with the cameras
the treason the scamming
i'm scarred 
it damaged my psyche

i can't fill the void
i can't fill the cracks
i can't feel the joy
my soul is detached
broke by the noise
these drugs they distract
these thoughts they destroy
i feel the impact

demonic claws always leaving a mark
it tend to shine what you do in the dark
you watched her eyes lose spark
seen her dearly depart
then got to the plot
how could you rummage through corpse
or pick at the locks
really emptied the stock
jewels on your neck it get cropped
these thorns surrounding my heart

blunt bouqet roll petals
set fire the garden 
cuz it help me feel Melo
my soul feel the weight of my vessel
and i don't get the Logic
why i'm always Under Pressure
and i don't get the concept of settle
if i want it, i get it, i keep it no rental 
my car all white like dental
watch how they like to twist the truth like pretzel
them lies won't set you free
double cross just for motion
you're a pussy, amateur prognosis
people change i noticed
or maybe show true colors
wanna do more than talk about it
i hate all the commotion
can't trust i'm broken

hate talk behind tints
see words don't entice me
buy all this shit
i ain't checking the pricies
in my own world 
and i'm talking i'm laughing
i'm singing i'm jamming
just me a young Pisces
got me some beef with the cameras
the treason the scamming
i'm scarred 
it damaged my psyche

now motherfucker i control my fate
know no human i can put my faith
on my bullshit i feel like Nate
i'm way too Husky i can't break
real shit though, i ball like Markelle
Magic a little delayed
ride these drugs like they a carousel
room spinnin Beyblade
k i lied, more like Chandler Parsons
i don't play about my pay
i just beat the beat like i'm Tonya Harding
ain't shit to hop on it and skate
dark nights full of pain
my heart been bruised
got them in my dust
what else is new
face down, ass up
she like Recoome
counting this cash up
that's all that i do

Gomorrah

mess
drugged, under spell, i'm hexed
am i lucid, that sorta depends
sobriety i reject
intruder inside of my flesh
drugged, under spell, i'm hexed
lay with the stars decompress
talking that shit don't be shy
paying the biggest expense

tricks
betrayal all trust begets
studied the signs see i ain't dense
reached new lows i'm a little upset
vexed
catch 'em red hand they act possessed
shit i did not proud won't flex
i'm not the type to forgive or forget
endure
don't have a cap when it come to your leisure
you're not one for following procedure
gotta make a point and settle the score
remorse
first mistake was key to them doors
second mistake i was all too eager
all that bullshit i really believed you

i dont know
all they do is talk and i can't stand 'em
grown man never did shit he steady throwing tantrums
whole pound in a night i like to chill with my tandem
took 5 grams of mush, man was famished

me and myself no crutch 
me and myself no luck
lost my way then adjust
they double cross blood thats rough
they turn on family thats scuffed
homegrown snake grass cut
homegrown gas plug clutch
purple crossbreed like Trunks

fear i can't handle the reigns
know i'm the reason why everything falling
ducking and dodging the change
feel i'm the reason these bridges is tarnished
i feel the weight of these chains
down on my knees
but i'm still crawling
my mind corroding it stained
taking this shit
i don't wanna be concious

mess
drugged, under spell, i'm hexed
am i lucid, that sorta depends
sobriety i reject
intruder inside of my flesh
drugged, under spell, i'm hexed
lay with the stars decompress
talking that shit don't be shy
paying the biggest expense

~

runnining out of time
punishment from divine
nowhere nowhere to go
i can go anytime
why must why must they bleed
these eyes the eyes what they've seen
the view no longer serene
the will is lacking the means

Hexed

make sure to go show love to my man Marv. 

 https://soundcloud.com/marv-39063507

Bridging The Gap Ft. Marv

hard to navigate the room 
when the walls all look the same
memories slipping too
that's for better i'm afraid
doing what i choose
anything else just a mistake
lay my head in ruin
look what i obtained
i'm weak
i'm ashamed
tornado in my head
rearrange
mixing substance
Experiments Lain
need to let go but i hold on just the same

I don’t know where to go
no way home
walk the path like spine if it take me to my throne
pay the price just every time
give my heart out like on loan
took interest in mine
think i'm better on my own

i do not need you
i'm fine on my lonesome
doing it all
won't crack like Odom
money and drugs
surrounded by both em
plug hook me up
connect like a modem
say she a fan, she begging to blow some
got no limits, i'm feeling like Code
love and hate, i always evoke em
stuck in the middle i feel like a Grotle
stuck in the middle without a direction
money the answer to all of my questions
all these dead presidents, love reelection
bulge in my pockets is not an erection
if i can be honest 
all this ain't numbing the pain
but i'll never reject
i could never expect you to change your ways
the truth is depressing

i feel it all at once
and its so loud
but i push away too much
lost now i've found

taken from me poached
now i hold you close
walk the path like spine
if it take me to my throne
pay the price just every time
give my heart out like on loan
took interest in mine
now i'm better on my own

to die is merely to abandon the flesh

So Then, To Live...

catching your balance
all for what
to stumble again and fuck it up
can't sit back, get it now while you can
all these mistakes have you learned enough
put your head down and run it up
if i showed you the way
would you take the chance
could you hold on if i gave my hand
cuz at this point, its all or none

weathered the storm now shit looking sunny
a young college dropout, im lowkey a dummy
trying too hard
this shit is so simple
me be a star
wouldn't that be like funny
exhaling ghosts, i've been wrapping up mummies
drugs left a indent
kinda like dimple
masking these feelings, prevail in my quotes
pocket of brass 
won’t crash like a cymbal

i keep my circle small like Lesotho
don't care about acclaim
care about the dough tho
know shit can change in a flash like photo
take it all in
see it all in slow mo
tryna fit the picture all into frame
just tryna get it how i see in my brain
can't switch on my brothers 
not pussy not lame
just like an iPhone
i'm staying the same

constant, just like a blizzard
can't thaw it out if you flaking like prior
i'm talking like winner
aim for the top, i can't help my desires
baked like some dinner
on my last joint need a spark lil fire
lean on you when it splinter
when your back to the wall
i'll remain by your side

~

boot to pedal 
uproot the ground
tiptoeing lately
the drive impound
the frame share the flesh of the heel
faith fluctuate, remain devout
how many sin, too many to count
the vigor to brace collapse
locate the well, survive the drought
pillars rebuilt from the ash
no shooting star
beyond the clouds
only you can answer the plea
better to hold dear what's around
ain't nothing a guarantee
shit feel like it never amount 
til you can't believe how far
can't live in regret
standing proud
stick true to yourself, that's law

sig with no sights, sliding through life
aimless
never had a plan, roll the dice
take a chance like Vegas
Richie Incognito, blue Bills only
but i'm not racist
threading the needle
like when the odds a little outrageous
i get raided up just to deconstruct what's restraining
to take aim when the shot is long, does that make you wrong or courageous
i did a lot, just in a year, it take sweat and tears it take platelets
appetite too severe, don't want a taste i gotta sustain it

read defense in my tact
reintroduce what i lack
if i give you my heart, would you mind the cracks?
i gave you my torso, you got my back?

Perspective

i feel sorry for you
i feel sorry for you
i done let you down so much
that i feel sorry for
i've felt sorry for you
i feel sorry for you
but i owe you so so much
yeah see i'm sorry for you

sorry that i try
sorry that i cry
sorry i don't do enough
sorry i'm always wrong
sorry i can't do right
sorry i don't love myself
sorry that i do need help
i'm sorry for asking for it
sorry that i see myself the same way you do
self image really important
sorry i don't value my life
sorry i don't even try
i'm sorry for the mess in my head
scrambling thoughts all day
when i should be living instead
i'm sorry the drugs do their job
sorry i'm never aware
i'm sorry for stumbling so much
sorry for failing the dead i still hold dear

i know they're resting in peace
tell you the truth, wanna lie with them
up in the sky with them
why i get high like them

i just want you to hold me again
why can't we be whole again

i feel sorry for you
i feel sorry for you
i done let you down so much
that i feel sorry for
i've felt sorry for you
i feel sorry for you
but i owe you so so much
yeah see i'm sorry for you

jealousy overwhelming
i'm my own worst enemy, i can't bring myself to kill him
misplaced amenities, gotta play the cards how they deal 'em
i don't know what's wrong with me or how i'm prevailing
prevailing ain't the word
but i know who i am and i'll get what i deserve
prevailing ain't the word
but imma take a stand til they lay me in the dirt

i feel sorry for you
i feel sorry for you
i done let you down so much
that i feel sorry for
i've felt sorry for you
i feel sorry for you
but i owe you so so much
yeah see i'm sorry for you

Sorry

please make sure to show love to LiminalSpacesuit for the beat
https://soundcloud.com/liminalspacesuit

why's it still so hot outside
September and 100 degrees
just to walk out and smoke me a bowl
i gotta sweat through my tee
joints ain't twisted
blunts not pearled
all of my 1s are creased
wake up roll 10
another double double
i'm in the Sky like im Reese
though i'm still pretty far from rich
this stack taller than my knees
been a while since stepfather dipped
my nephews taller than me, i think
outlooked damaged
study my stanzas
got a real life motif
maybe i should relax and take shit easy
maybe when i halt my breathing

can't block no goalie
this voice a constant critique i'll never appease
don't no one know me
but motherfuckers really show me love
this shit like a dream

make dream real awaken
SCP no containing
FNV my favorite
used to be broke
that's ancient
don't let a motherfucker lie through his teeth
he only seen bands in his braces
just wanna kick it like Bowen
for the green they'll do you so foul
so flagrant
those closest to you is who you gotta watch the most
don't be scared, embrace it
she thick like Maine
with perfect framing, her shaping is real persuasive
my pen is painting her a mural
i'm flooding her walls like immigration
left her on read, she republican
told me i eat it like Saiyan or Haitian
i really ball no shaving
i wish he would no pavement
nothing i say is a metaphor
my shot is really on Statham
fast and furious racing
so high, me and the car shaking
we all gonna die one day
i evade this shit by facing it

losing my sanity, curse and a gift
suicidal at 10, worth was eclipsed
i am not kidding, 5 on the Knicks
that's just the old me, something like Picts
rolling off 60 but i'm not a crip
roll up a dutch, got me pacing Rik Smits
skinny as fuck
take a dip if she thick
love her hips and her lips
and she suck dick Akili Smith
just for the record my thoughts always skip
got trouble with topics and sticking to script
Emily Os(ment), pretty smart til i drift
show off my range when i empty the clip
if i speak it
and live it
and know it
my dreams will unlock
the money it flow like water
i live at the dock

why i blow with the wind
why i only aim for fence
question if i contend
pressure it get immense
so let's get high pretend
help me to not lament
roll up get high again
til my hair white like Shin's
the way these words come out
and preach or vent
that's never the intent
can't corral your emotions
runaway thoughts can't apprehend
never find tranquility on expedition for revenge
when everything too much
break it all down
roll up again

Roll Up Prod. LiminalSpacesuit

rush
enough will never be
trust
weak when i can't feel your touch
reach for the blade my love
warm flow of the blood 
give me such a rush
enough will never be trust
we both want the same
won't budge
fear all we have is lust
hate all we've become
but i love this rush

grip too tight on Was
restore relapse we must
hinge on if we open up
door slam so abrubt in my
face to face
i need to heal 
but i lost my way
why i'm surprised
my mind a maze
how the hate real
but the love fake
too defensive ive come to embrace
to the point that logic can't dictate
endorphins always morph to mistakes
my reward for a lack of grace
obsess with every step my pace
take shit slow, life ain't a race
i just want control 
always slipping
i wanna take it slow
but i get this

rush
enough will never be
trust
weak when i can't feel your touch
reach for the blade my love
warm flow of the blood 
give me such a rush
enough will never be trust
we both want the same
won't budge
fear all we have is lust
hate all we've become
but i love 

~

lately i've started
to put myself first
cuz nothing i love ever lasts
know its my fault
and i know the truth hurt
i push away all i attract
baby i'm out here
maybe i'm not clear
eschew, forsake, en masse
self centered ways, cycle of pain
tryna attain what i already have
wait lemme ask you a question
why you cling so hard, too attached
found now a whole new direction
up to you to push hard, move past
wait lemme ask you a question
yes your strength can outlast
allow now a home for correction
become everything you lack

shit get bizarre
i know that it's hard
i ebb and i flow but i know what i are
i leapt on my own but we not far apart
this forever our throne, got a seat with the stars
fuck that bitch Elon i'm chilling on Mars
he a fraud he a peon, a blemish a wart
government greed and corruption contort
A.I. and depletion kill them by tomorrow
burning this tree
i don't fuck with a cart
drugs that i be on
eclectic resort
choosing to fly
i'm seeking a spark
I’m losing my mind 
but i'm keeping my heart

Rush

please make sure to show love to $t.jrama 

https://soundcloud.com/jeremiah-oxendine-281812841

Bioshock Ft. $t.jrama

please show love to Ice for reaching out 
https://soundcloud.com/kastaog

beat by Aarne
https://on.soundcloud.com/B4gAZoSXLpKW4gUik6

Lacking Enthusiasm

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