Hey, I'm Fenn!

I speak softly but very clearly,
Articulate well so that you hear me,
what I say will make you fear me.
And hold on to your life quite dearly.

I will greet you with a solution
so clear in my elocution
leave no room for confusion
about your means of execution.

I don't mean to make you concerned
but dragonman gotta be learned
lest their acid sacks be turned
so their insides get all burned.

My job means haters gonna hate
but obviators gotta obviate
if you're strong you might even rate
me considering your final fate.

The grumpy druid loves an instrument
she would never see my true intent
I could wait until her neck was bent
it would be the last time she spent.

I'm not arrogant, I am exact
Never made a plan I haven't backed
I wouldn't test your grandest mother
And I'll keep the Warlock like a brother

Fennbruary, 1st: Uncomfortable Allies

I flow like the sea with our ship
bringing hooks, lines and sinkers
So pay attention to these bars
Use your teams strongest thinkers

Because hooks can mean a punch,
liver shot lay you flat
or I winch you on a butcher's hook
ain't no surviving that

I put the murder in merman
I skewer a merrow in the spine
I make hardly a murmur man
I hook these fishies with a line

So what about the sinker?
You don't know what your facin'
I meant that I will sink her
crush a girl with a wash basin

My art is obviously obviation
I only dabble in rhyme
introduce you to defenestration
If you're wasting my time

My demeanor is always placid
I solve the problems on the ship
Most problems dissolve with acid
If you're trouble you take a dip

Some would think I'm an assassin
But I'm up for any situation
Crossbow bolt straight to your face
if you fail at negotiation

So step gently around my team
for I am their keeper
if you bring harm let it be known
that I will be your reaper.

Fennbruary, 2nd: Implements

When I hear "precious channel" I sit up, listen and take heed
Cuz his name is Jerry Holkins, he's about to make his friends bleed

He brought them to the underdark, friendly as an unlit park, elder gods watching.. Hark!

No wait.. What is this strange emotion?
Attracted to a goblin just because it drank a potion?
I expected hardships, a hard and heavy beating
Now we have some hard ships with hard and heavy breathing

Shinier than a magic girl transformation
More thirst-making than a desert vacation
Tastee has this metamorphosis on lock
And the whole team is mesmerized by his cock

The fanart goes crazy, the council is wild
Our glasses go hazy and we hide every child
Sure, please with your labors Jerry, but you took it too far
Go back with E. Benson, retire, time to open that bar
We're of the track, can't stop it. No way, no how
Because lets face it we're just Drow Tales now

Underdark - Too pleased

Monster Manual #1

Barely finished my time in word jail before I serve another sentence
Penned so many clever bars I'm about due for repentence
I use the freshest ingredients for flavor you could say I cook to season
Leave you shaking like a thirsty leaf when I commit word tree sin

Call me a word criminal. But nah, a pundit is what I am
If you wanna weigh in on this, I'll charge you by the gram
You might consider it wordplay an idle minds nourishment
But I take words seriously, what I do is called punishment

I'm banking on my fellow lexicons to not leave my ass a loan
Cuz we bring that style of play that you can never out-groan

Lars Wikman