this is STILL so underrated! 1/7/24 still jamming the TRUTH. 🪙

I just love how I can literally feel your anger

heres one of my journal entries. i decided to rap it n turn it into a song called "dear universe." enjoy. 

prod. by @newderseybeats :)

Dear Universe

background story: https://twitter.com/laurenthellama/status/688772894504148992
beat by @MATTMCLUCKIE.

lyrics:
see, jenny life ain't always good,
but life ain't always bad.
but lookin at your message girl it makes me so sad
cause i feel for ya,
trust me girl, i really feel for ya.

girl, i been there.
i understand the way it works.
& jenny, as i read it i could tell you're really hurt
babygirl, i feel for ya.
trust me girl, i really feel for ya.

i'd say i read it 20 times before respondin.
has anybody told you your existence wasn't wanted?
that people only use you? not just one body but hundreds?
thought maybe jenny's right cause these scenarios i've wondered.

& everything you said to me i felt it in my chest.
jenny, tell me bout your goal? was it to make me feel depressed?
i worry bout my fans n if they're really not impressed,
i try so damn hard jenny, swear i try my best.

she said i'm not feelin ya
bitch, i'm only bein real with ya.
she said lauren I'm not feelin ya
bitch, i only kept it real w ya.

i read it once more, that's when sadness turned to anger.
how could somebody say that to a motherfuckin stranger?
you know what girl you're right, jenny, i'll do you a favor.
i'll quit the fuckin shows n I'll start workin on my major.

i'm typin real mean so jenny knew who she was dealin with.
said it just right so i'd know she know the feelin n
told her she was starving for attention, girl, you're FIENIN it.
jenny, you're pathetic. when i say it then i mean the shit.

i don't even feel for ya 
jenny I'm just bein real with ya
told her I don't even feel for ya
homegirl, I'm just bein real with ya.

& jenny, I don't give a damn, you really had the nerve.
& jenny, as you read it girl i hope you really hurt.
said i don't even feel for ya,
jenny i'm just bein real with ya.

i read it once more just to make sure it was perfect,
but reading my response, it started makin me so nervous..
if jenny's on the edge, then could really cut the circuit?
if jennys insecure this could really close her curtain?

that's when i sat back
& it all just came to me
jenny had this pain, n she just aimed at me, 
needed this attention, it was plain to see
she was hurtin, put her pain on me
it's not my fault but she was blamin me.

i know it wasn't me that was the problem,
n everything she said to me was coming from the bottom,
of all of jenny's wounds, she was helpless tryna solve em.
what jenny doesn't realize is this'll just evolve them.

said i'm feelin ya
trust me girl i'm fuckin feelin ya
i been there n girl i fear for ya,
i'm really sorry hope you heal n yeaaa
(so keep it going, it gets better)

not one now, but 2 people hurtin.
deleted all my words cause I'm not that typa person.
i told her bout my vision n success said girl i earn this,
i'm livin out my dream, it's meant to be n yo i'm certain.

i've been there, i get your mind is in the darkness
but girl I gotta go i got these fans i made a promise
won't stop for anybody cause the future is beyond us,
that's when i pressed send n jenny seemed so damn astonished.

damn.. i didn't think you'd be so kind.
I honestly don't know you so please don't pay no mind.
continue livin big, trust me girl you really shine...
deservant of your future so just leave the doubts behind.

so next time you run into a jenny,
remember she's just broken n there's two sides to a penny.
so fill her up with love, these people need it they're so empty
the hurtin hurt the hurt, i know their words can be so heavy.

yeaaaaaaah (x4) 

Jenny

D/L Happy Camper for FREE: http://hoodieallen.com/splash
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Happy Camper

Buy on iTunes

Surprise Party (feat. Blackbear)

off the new EP, "center of expression" - out now!
PROD. BY @MATTMCLUCKIE

Palm Springs

Black Beatles x You Was Right Mashup (Lauren Sanderson Acoustic Cover)

Narcotics are on my mind
Hold your body close
Was hoping you'd come by

And we could just give this a chance
(We’d slow dance) With narcotics

Narcotics, cotics, you’re a goddess
Flawless, you're flawless
Oh, my darlin’

My lover last summer but we parted
Narcotics (x2)
Narcotics, cotics, narcotics

Midnight, I’m zonin’
Laid back, she’s tokin’
I’ve fucked up once or twice, yeah I know

I feel like I’ve got issues
That no one can help
Well, they could but I won’t let em’ show

In love with addiction, it kills
Prescription to be somewhere else
Wake up in a dream,
Nothing’s how it seems,
Oh well

Narcotics, cotics, you’re a goddess
Flawless, you're flawless
Oh, my darlin’

My lover last summer but we parted
Narcotics (x2)
Narcotics, cotics, narcotics [x2]

Prod. by Earl Saga

Narcotics

So last night my producer sent me a shit ton of beats
Sometimes me and him go through these droughts, you know
When he can’t find inspiration and I can’t find inspiration
Whatever

But right now we’re in a good patch
And we’re about to release this project
It’s called “Spaces”
Apparently it’s too short for what they call an album
Too long for what they call a fuckin’ EP

And I realized somethin’, you know
All this industry shit makes me feel the same way that school did

Why does every song have to be “this” long
With this many hooks, this many verses
This many anything

I just wanna make the shit I like
I just wanna fuckin’ make u smile
I just wanna fuckin’ grab a mic
When I'm feeling really fuckin’ inspired

I just wanna doodle all the time, doodle all the time
I just wanna wear the shit I want, wear the shit I like
I just wanna be up in your face, be up in your mind

I want to express things the way I feel them
And not no sugarcoated shit, no, the way I feel them
I used to hide behind these waves and now I steer them
I’d close my eyes in front of hate, now I don't fear them
No, you can’t fear them

Cause they're the absent-minded, absent-hearted, previously been rewarded
Hide behind disguises, shattered hearts with words unguarded
And although I cant relate, I know the hate just prerecorded 
Know the pain you feeling now is more than pain you can afford and

That’s the reason why
I said
That’s the reason why
You can’t sleep at night
I said
You can’t sleep at night

Your wounds are open
But they’ll heal in time

Just give it time,
Let go of insecurity
Don’t wait in line
Take hold of opportunity
Just give it time
Just give it time

Just be you baby (x8)

Jenny

Lauren Sanderson

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