i︣n︣d︣i︣

i found the original ver. of "i'm always hoping i'll find you"

i hope i'll see you soon

youtube: https://youtu.be/aCIPzL03src

me
- https://soundcloud.com/nshvllmusic
- www.instagram.com/nshvllmusic
- www.twitter.com/nshvllmusic
- www.youtube.com/c/nshvllmusic
-----------------------------------------
the loss of a loved one, whether partner or former partner, and either from death or them leaving and moving on

[lyrics]
i'm only 17
i don't know anything
but i know that i miss you

you don't deserve me
i don't deserve you
please take your time
but know i won't be here forever

and watch me fall

i remember the way
you'd look me in my eyes
like no other
just for you
i'd run away
take you anywhere you want
but i won't be here forever

(but i won't be here forever)
just for you
i'd run away
take you anywhere you want

i'll take you everywhere
to the moon beyond
even though you're not here
i'll do it just for you
and join you up there

i hope i'll meet you up there
-----------------------------------------
genius explanation: https://genius.com/Nshvll-i-wont-be-here-forever-lyrics
(trigger warning)

in the first verse, it's the parter/former partner talking. they do miss kai, but couldn’t stay for whatever reason, also alluding to the fact they won’t be here forever. they’ll be dead or they’ll have moved on.

in the second verse, kai’s saying what they’d do if their former partner was still here, but also pointing at the fact they won’t be here forever either, but we don’t know why or how just yet.

in the buildup, kai is losing his grip on reality and is breaking down. he can’t take it anymore, but he’s still holding on to the memories and moments that made it all, reiterating that they’ll “run away” just for them. but again, you hear “i won’t be here forever” because they won’t be here forever either.

kai comes back once more in the outro and ends it off themselves, saying they hope they’ll meet their partner/former partner up there in heaven when they’ve died of old age or suicide.

i won't be here forever

Listen to Run Away (You're to Blame): https://ffm.to/asrunaway

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Lyrics:
Pacing back and forth
I don't want to go to war
I can feel the cold
I forgot to bring a coat
Wishing you would call me back
Just to break the wind again
You've left me to feel alone

From the bottom of my heart
I'll run away
I'll take my time and erase your name
I'll read between the lines
I'll take what's yours and mine
And I will throw it all away
And you're to blame

All the tears I've led
All the towels that have bled
All the floors I've feared
For you to leave me just this year
I don't want you to go
I scream your name beyond the road
What's it like to be alone

From the bottom of my heart
I'll run away
I'll take my time and erase your name
I'll read between the lines
I'll take what's yours and mine
And I will throw it all away
And you're to blame

Run Away (You're To Blame)

I tried so many things
Oh, yes I did
But all of that didn't work out in the end
I wanted many things
Oh, yes I did
But now I'm on my own now yet again

I can't be
Myself and daydream
I'm tryna work it out
You gotta know
Some things you can't see
Are just eating me
It's just eating me, it's just eating me

Swear it's not your fault
It's always been this way
But it's not what you said
It's what you didn't say
Swear it's not your fault
It's always been this way
But it's not what you said
It's what you didn't say

(Didn't say, didn't say)
It's what you didn't say
(Didn't say, didn't say)
It's what you didn't say
(Didn't say, didn't say)
It's what you didn't say
(Didn't say, didn't say)
It's what you didn't say

I'm tryna say some things
You know I did
I'm feeling the same way yet again
I don't wanna see
How I pretend
That I can control it in the end

I can't be
Myself and daydream
I'm tryna work it out
You gotta know
Some things you can't see
Are just eating me
It's just eating me, it's just eating me

Swear it's not your fault
It's always been this way
But it's not what you said
It's what you didn't say
Swear it's not your fault
It's always been this way
But it's not what you said
It's what you didn't say

(Didn't say, didn't say)
It's what you didn't say
(Didn't say, didn't say)
It's what you didn't say
(Didn't say, didn't say)
It's what you didn't say
(Didn't say, didn't say)
It's what you didn't say

(Didn't say, didn't say)
(Didn't say, didn't say)

It's what you didn't say
It's what you didn't say
(Didn't say, didn't say)
It's what you didn't say
(Didn't say, didn't say)
It's what you didn't say

Stream

it's what you didn't say

as the words sank in i felt my soul draining away, slipping / slipping 2

frail

2014/4/27
すきまレコーズよりリリースされたアルバム「tap tap tap」です。

アルバムは以下のサイトから無料でダウンロードできます。
http://skm-records.com/compilation/winterfest/#.U10UWVV_uSo

街 feat.affable noise

tuna

when i was younger, my dad took me to two train stations in specific. i was a very stereotypical autistic kid who liked planes and trains. I loved the wind as the fast ones went by. Recently, my dad took me back to those train stations for nostalgia, and i've been thinking alot about those moments when making my art or music. I have to wonder if this is where my inherent emotional attachment to trains comes from. This was made from various recordings from the main train station i used to frequent as a little kid.

trains

I started writing this song in the spring of ’22. This time was spent listening to the music of Yuki Kaneko and Manuella Blackburn while immersing myself in the flowering local grasslands. I was struck by the delicate, secluded intimacy of Yuki’s album “rut”, the jaw-dropping detail of Manuella’s “Formes audibles”, and how this music accentuated the surrounding landscape. I tried to capture this feeling and the sense of renewal it inspired while honoring these wonderful artists.

https://alexanderpanos.com

art in collaboration with Zachary Schwadel
instagram.com/zschwadel/

includes a sample of the title track from "rut" (and/OAR, 2008) by Yuki Kaneko
instagram.com/yuki_kaneko_bd/
https://www.and-oar.org/moar_2.html
many thanks to Yuki for generously allowing its inclusion

aperture, for meadow

a place for everything and everything in its place

Sexy French-touch infused electro-soul / alternative R&B

Just something random i whipped up that I quite like how it turned out.

All guitar played by me, used logic session drummer, serum for the bass bunch of other effects on the vocals and all the chains blah blah blah, i had fun

C’est toi

breakahoe

i love you all so much.
thank you for always being there for me <3

Song title - Reckless
Production & Vocals by Lund

Lyrics: 

Reckless
Stole my heart
And put it on a necklace 
Wind back the clock baby girl 
time is precious 
Now I know that loving you 
a death wish 
Tell me how it feels to 
take advantage of love 

Restless
Your voice inside my head
The echo endless
Let down my guard 
Every time i regret it
Even tho i know you were pretending
when i said i loved you
I meant it

Numb inside
photos on the wall 
I can’t stand the sight 
Cause every where I look 
I see you and I
It’s tourture baby
I don’t even feel alive
I can’t even cry 
Hole inside 
My heart
You took advantage 
Of my trust Oh why’d 
you have to ruin
All our memories 
I tried everything 
To keep you by my side 
But I can’t love a lie

come back 
Quit wasting time on love you know that won’t last
When this hearts only for you 
I could show that 
in everything I do for you 
you’d know that
All of me 
I’ll give to you 
Won’t hold back 
Trust in us 
Oh I believe 
We’ll grow that 
Anytime you need me 
I’ll be right there
I been here before 
I know your scared 
your heart im tryin repair
Cause I know that love is

Reckless
Stole my heart
And put it on a necklace 
Wind back the clock baby girl 
time is precious 
Now I know that loving you 
a death wish 
Tell me how it feels to 
take advantage of love 

Restless
Your voice inside my head
The echo endless
Let down my guard 
Every time i regret it
Even tho i know you were pretending
when i said i loved you
I meant it

Silhouette of you 
Playin on a loop in my head 
It was all a ruse 
Didn’t mean a word that you said 
I gave you my heart 
you wanted my soul instead 
This an sos but no one here to save me 
I’m dead 

Caught up in a lie 
Can’t forget the words you said 
The way you made me feel 
Even it’s all pretend 
Poison in my veins 
I can never trust again 
Look into my eyes 
I want you to see what you 

Did To me 
tried but I can’t erase all our history 
haunts me everyday I live in misery 
Without you I have nothing but our memories 
Life is like a puzzle
Your the missing piece
Now I’m so confused 
On where I need to be 
Searching for the answer
But it’s plain to see
We weren’t meant to be 
Baby I’m just tryin figure out 
How you could be so 

Reckless
Stole my heart
And put it on a necklace 
Wind back the clock baby girl 
time is precious 
Now I know that loving you 
a death wish 
Tell me how it feels to 
take advantage of love 

Restless
Your voice inside my head
The echo endless
Let down my guard 
Every time i regret it
Even tho i know you were pretending
when i said i loved you
I meant it

Reckless

contact: mattmau.at4g@gmail.com • R8//28

"...and we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to his purpose for them."

t+t

AT4G

Recent comments

mistmurk

Hallow

echoed.

𝐍𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐎 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍☆⒚

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