Produced by Dan Darmawan

I think this is the type of sound I want to stick with for the future, but not limited to. Thank you to whoever is listening and the people supporting me. Song is also on my youtube

Lyrics
On the surface
I think u dont know what to do
I had dreams of u but they’re nightmares
I dont think I can let u go
In the snow
Where the angels lie and the people that i know
And i cant tell if ur with me
And i dont know how to grow

When ur in my room i dont wanna fight u
Disappointing everyone that i know
Thinking about u im writing a haiku
I dont wanna fight u
I dont wanna fight u

And when im drowning dreams keep me afloat
When i was crying i wrote u a note
Said do i hold u down
Are u better off not thinking about me
I let her words go to my head
Cant forget anything that you’ve said
Will u like me more when im dead
I wish we never met

When ur in my room i dont wanna fight u
Disappointing everyone that I know 
Thinking about u im writing a haiku
I dont wanna fight u
I dont wanna fight u

U hurt me i cant hate u believe me ive tried
Cuz everytime i look into the stars 
All i see is ur eyes
All i see is ur eyes
All i see is ur eyes

the mess (collection of garbage)

i don’t

fall in the deep end
the faults on my end
but im drowned out by the rain
we’re moving too fast
soon we’ll all crash
I’ve already lost so much time

when i’m feeling blue
i’ve always looked up to u
after what u said
it made me wish that I was dead

too fast

my fault (ft. ohprincesky)

a cover of haunt me (x3) by teen suicide featuring vocals by bluevcat :)

Lyrics:
I wanna be haunted
I wanna be loved
I want a lot of friends and
A lot of drugs
I wanna be haunted
I won't leave my bed
I won't go crazy and
I won't get sad
So haunt me, haunt me, haunt me, ooh
So haunt me, haunt me, haunt me, ooh
So haunt me, haunt me, haunt me, ooh
So haunt me, haunt me, haunt me, ooh

lost demos

haunt me (x3) ft. bluevcat

wait
please don’t leave so soon
you are chasing after something
unaware what you’ll lose
what’s got you down
we have nothing to hide
just look at the brightside
the brightside

pink and orange ❀

a lil song that i tried to make more upbeat, hope u enjoy

lyrics:
is it selfish to think of you with me all of the time 
got a good life and I don’t wanna ruin it if I were to make you mine

my eyes shut
we’re in no rush
count my days
we will be okay

every time I have to hear your voice
it feels like an obligation and I have no choice
but to want you
do you love me
I’m fucking done this shits making me crazy

make a move
wanna get to know u
theres a world that I wanna show u
its got black and gold picture frames
of me and you running away

my eyes shut
we’re in no rush
count my days
we will be okay

every time I have to hear your voice
it feels like an obligation and I have no choice
but to want you
do you love me
I’m fucking done this shits making me crazy

getaway!

my favorite song that I've made thus far. i really think it encapsulated my state of mind recently

lyrics:
I'm gonna hold my breath
I'm gonna take it slow
why does everyone seem to know
what to make of this
there's nothing to build
all the sunlight
melted all the snow

maybe one day soon, I'll see you again
when the times right and its under the moon
and I only need a moment because
it won't take long to say "I've missed you"

winter warmth

This short but sweet song was made last summer for the gloom4u charity compilation which can be purchased here:
https://gloom4u.bandcamp.com/album/gloom4u-v2

There’s a lot of nice, nostalgic memories behind this song and I hope you can enjoy it.

Lyrics:
They really wanna watch me fall
tired but I give it my all
breaking down all these walls again
I don’t know when it will end
you hate the fact that I grew 
while all of you stayed the same
I guess some people never change

lamp lit skies on that faithful night
how could you ever leave my side

comfort place

Lyrics:
Summer time had all I wanted
for the future was so unclear
memories where we had bonded
I really hope the end is near

Words with no truth I am tired of
thinking about her is killing me oh
who knew that boredom would really be tough
I guess that my love was never enough

Hold my hand we'll make it through
as long as I am next to you
and how do I get over this
how do I get over you
when you're still all over me
how do I get over this
when you're in the same spot
I knew you would be

cinema (ft. steven shoelace)

gonna miss summer

lyrics:
when u pulled up to my driveway
i saw u turn around
and u said we’ll do it my way
made me think that you were here to stay

cuz when ur gone
it feels wrong
all the things i do without u
on my mind
all the time
i dont know what im tryna find
runaway from the world
lets just run to california where
the grass has never been greener and
u look so fucking pretty baby

so i won’t pick up the phone
and u won’t leave me alone
so wherever I go
u will always be home

☼ California ☼

I only see you in the night
and it still feels like the first time
I couldn't get you out my sight
I told myself that was the last time
that I fall for someone who makes me feel
that I should change
that I'm not ideal
and when we're on the road
and behind the wheel
how come nothing ever fucking feels real?

lock myself in my room
my third eye opens to you
can we try to work things out again?

when you leave,
I know that you'll haunt me

Phantom

In The Night (ft. ohprincesky)

I've got you under my skin
and I'm sinking in
and I'm breaking down all the memories

you
got a long way to go
but you need to know
that I really had nothing but love for you
and I regret putting my trust in you

and I
don't know what you mean
have I painted a scene
of something I wanted and fantasized
I guess I just thought that it would be nice

to have someone who really cared
and I'd share
all the things that I'd do in my day
and you'd say
that you really hate the cold in this place
can we stay
somewhere warmer next time?

you
were never really there
this game's never fair
maybe I'm not really made for this
and you are too far away for this

Skin

rolling off the rocks
taking in all my medicine, you know
I got my problems but just let me know
if you wanna call me you know I'll be right there
but if you hate me I'll get out of your hair

taking in the love
breaking in above

Above

know its hard when ur hearts tellin one thing
but ur mind is a compass
can someone please stop this?
im so tired of the games that we play
if u need me to be there
im one call away 
broke thru walls, ending up in the same room
got nothing to do so ill let you consume
up my mind
please dont leave me behind
ill try catching up
when i stop fucking up

melt into
the mindset
lookin at the sunset
memorize
the moment
fade into
the solace

know its cold when ur waiting outside
and my heart wants to see u 
my brains tryna hide
cuz i know that this wont ever last
and soon you’ll become 
just a thing of the past
but ur not and im starting to hate you
why do i find all the ways to consume
all the drugs just to find my escape
if u need me to be there
im one call away

lost in direction

prod garden moth with some extra synths added by me

lyrics

and I don’t know
what u fell for in the first place
but what we had was something 
that u can’t replace
and tell me why I’d waste my thought
on all the times that they forgot
I really thought that you’d come through
I gotta getaway from you

away from the thoughts of u and i
im just barely getting by
can u stay here with me tonight
cuz I dont care enough to try

Im moving on
it didn’t take me long
fuck what u say
tell me why I should care
fuck what u say

wasted thoughts (prod. garden moth)

this was made on 420

lyrics
stare into the sun
don’t care about no one
treat yourself
I love myself
cuz nothing good ever comes easy

bite my tongue until it bleeds
I told u, u dont have to worry bout me
come wake me up, we’ll start again
don’t wake me up when summer ends

I’m sorry if I’m off one
I’m sorry if u looked at me but u couldn’t see through
I’m sorry but I’ll make it up sometime
Just give me the time of day
I promise we won’t fade

this life could send me straight to the coffin, bitch
why is u coughin hoe
I didn’t need u tho

will u come around?
I don’t wanna come down
We’ll work this out

happy 420

Is it selfish
To think of you with me all of the time?
Got a good life
And I don't wanna ruin it if I were to make you mine
My eyes shut
We're in no rush
Count my days
We will be okay
Every time I have to hear your voice
It feels like an obligation and I have no choice
But to want you
Do you love me?
I'm fucking done, this shit's making me crazy
Oh
Make a move, wanna get to know you
There's a world that I wanna show you
Its got black and gold picture frames
Of me and you running away
My eyes shut
We're in no rush
Count my days
We will be okay
Every time I have to hear your voice
It feels like an obligation and I have no choice
But to want you
Do you love me?
I'm fucking done, this shit's making me crazy

getaway (acoustic)

lyrics

burn my eyes to stay one within
I say your name to stay warm inside
In any little thing I like to find you in
Zero, I like it
happy, where it is
When my head leaves 
I know who it is
lucky to have you
my heart doesn’t like when you’re gone

(Who’s to blame for wasted time)
(Who’s to blame for what you owe)

And when the sky drops rain on your face
I’ll be the first one to tell you what it brings and in the meantime It’ll be here till the end

zzz (60juno cover)

Shining

Track 1

I never wanted to tell you
But I wanted to know
Why I'm in over my head again
Call me if you need me
Text me if you can
I'll see you in the morning
Hope you understand
That I can be a lot but I really fucking know
I think you'll understand if you pull up to my show
If I had a show baby would you even go?
I wouldn't waste your time

Lotus (Rebirth)

Can we talk about whats on your mind?
But we never seem to have the time
Reflections always unaligned
So can we leave our past behind?

In time
We find
It wont align
In time
We find
It won’t align

Will you at least just tell me why
You’ve avoided all the signs?
Always dreamt that you were mine
Maybe in another life

Can we talk about whats on your mind?
But we never seem to have the time
Reflections always unaligned
So can we leave our past behind?

Reflections (ft. Wychcrest)

Just hold onto me
I'll make you believe 
You were right
But I can't stop looking at your face and feel like
Maybe I was brought here for you
And maybe this was coming for me
With all the time in my solitude
So I'm begging you please don't leave
I guess we'll stay in tonight

Just hold onto me
I'll make you believe
Bout that night, while we talked
And our faces faced the ground
When you look at mine
Can you see me now?

Winter Warmth, Pt. 2

I count my days
Till we can all get out and runaway
For a second I see you
In the corner of my room
Letting all these moments pass
So let me smoke some grass
Woa
For a second I see you
Standing by and looking through
But you won't see me because
It's not there, it never was

But we're moving backwards
But we'll do it again (and pretend, again)

Untitled - 12.18.2022

What have I got into
Another mess but at least I'm here with you
But I don't know
How you feel
And why you act up
When I take the time of day
To find another way
To start again

Another lesson to
Take behind as I walk away from you
But you don't know
How you feel
And why you act up
When I take the time of day
To find another way
To start again

To start again

What have I got into
Another mess but at least I'm here with you
But I don't know

Second Chance

I'll never work a 9-5
I lost too much time
and remember you said
i'll try to make it up but I regret
everything I said to you
all the shit you made me do

everything I'd do for you, you'd do for him
Why I try so hard but know I'll never win
So I should just fuck off
So I should just fuck off
So I should just fuck off

Honesty

You really let me down again
I tried to be there for a friend 
Wish I couldn’t remember
Memories of you
(Ooh)
I can’t make this up
(Ooh)
But I find I never get enough of you
When it matters
But I’ll see you soon
Cuz it makes me feel better again

You took a polaroid by the sunset (by the sunset)
Makes me wonder why you’re so upset
Makes me wonder why I deserve this
Why I put up with your shit when I know you don’t give a fuck

(Ooh)
I can’t make this up
(Ooh)
But I find I never get enough of you
When it matters

Wild Heart (feat. Save Thirteen)

Facade

Curses (feat. Wychcrest)

Solar Lullaby (Interlude)

How Life Goes

Is This Normal?

In time
I’ll leave it up to you
I’ll leave it up to you
Maybe next time
Or in a past life
I would choose

To see the truth
But I shut my eyes
Cuz I dont care and I wanna feel you again
Maybe I’ll stop thinking bout the end
So dont play pretend
I can see right through
I did for everybody except for you

But don’t bend until you break
Cuz I’ve made that same mistake
It don’t shake
Easily from you
Easily from you
But we’ll make it happen
Talking in the past tense about us

In time
I’ll leave it up to you
I’ll leave it up to you
Maybe next time
Or in a past life
I would choose

In line
With time
Were all the things you left behind
And I
can feel you coming close
And I need you to know
There isn’t nothing that I can’t let go

In time
I’ll leave it up to you
I’ll leave it up to you
Maybe next time
Or in a past life
I would choose

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