is this sushi?

pessimist original pitch

prod me

lyrics:
it started with a kiss
and ended with a smile
and when i felt your lips 
i was frozen for a while 
and when i stared in your eyes
it made myself realize 
that your the one for me still

fight after fight
one led to another
night after night 
i would talk to your mother 
but shit dont feel right 
but why should i bother
because i know about the 
truth

shit dont feel right 
but i cant look away 
the green has left my eyes 
girl can you feel my pain
i see you in the sun
while im sitting here in the rain 
i gotta keep on going
so i can see you another day 
LIKE

oooooooo
i gotta keep it going 
im like
oooooooo
this water keeps on flowing 
im like 
oooooooo
ill make it out of this alive
ooooooo
i told you im a special guy

fight after fight
one led to another
night after night 
i would talk to your mother 
but shit dont feel right 
but why should i bother
because i know about the 
truth

but the truth is im hurt
and i dont know how to fix it 
see your messages on my phone 
see your the one that im missing
i wish that i could clone you girl
fuck now im trippin
id call your fuckin number
but i dont want to risk it

iris

momma did me dirty
why would i upset you
tell me why would i try
tell me why would i lie
could you open your eyes
you fuck up my mind and i take it
i cannot find the words to say this
ive been alone for so damn long
and you never noticed
fuck it im goin

upset you

cover of upside down by kurtains
@kurtains

@1spoder - main

upside down

spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/5lTeS2AOY3NyTELjl5sIHr?si=506ffc3f1c874be7

p. joshwa (@prodbyjoshwa)
inspired by @starfall
mix n master by me
trying somethin different
this song means a lot
i hope you enjoy listening

///
oh ive been wrapped up in this hurt
for way too long
everything that i do man i do it for u
and youve taken advantage
what did i do? i just don't understand it
the mental strain is way too much for me
i ask you to stop and i plead on my knees
the dip in my confidence, what i achieve
everything that you are doing to me

or do you want me taking the drugs like the rest?
fail all my classes and blame it on meds
cause deep in my gut i dont think that you care
look in the mirror and pull out my hair

oh youve been hurting me bad
i want me back
i got all this damn blood on my hands
skip town with a quick money advance
cause you stole me away from me
and i hold on desperately
but my grip is not strong
oh youre in the wrong
ran out of options i have to stay strong

cause i try so hard
do what i can but i can't make it far
no i can't make it far
do what i can and i'm trying so hard

oh youve been hurting me bad
i want me back
i got all this damn blood on my hands
skip town with a quick money advance
cause you stole me away from me
and i hold on desperately
but my grip is not strong
oh youre in the wrong
ran out of options i have to stay strong

tired

spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/5tAXiV5Ty4zKs0Bjd45qXr?si=075203ff1f204884

p. joshwa (@prodbyjoshwa)
mix n master by me
sc compressor is a pain
my best song, hope you enjoy

///
making up some stupid shit that doesnt matter at all
i fucking hate it here, wish i was never involved
i swear i'll move across the country fucking hate it all
i swear if you were in my shoes you would just take them off
and it's not like i'm trying,
to be what you want
i cannot put up with lying,
or tell me it's my fault
so don't you dare look in my eyes and act like you're so appalled
i get hurt so many times, i guess it's all just my fault

breathe
why cant you,
see
that it's all a little too much for me
it's getting hard to breathe
can't do this constantly
oh you've been bothering me so,
breathe
why cant you,
see
that it's all a little too much for me
it's getting hard to breathe
can't do this constantly
oh you've been bothering me so,

don't give a fuck bout what the cost is
i've been feeling nauseous
laying in my bed and you would be the one to start shit
don't know where i fuckin' lost it
"what's with you and being honest?"
yea you told me it'd get better, and you motherfuckin' promised
yea i got this dream
that you were nowhere near me
that you would fucking fear me
look in my eyes so clearly,
fed up with you
yea you watch and reuse
how i fall apart,
and i don't know what to do so,

breathe
why cant you,
see
that it's all a little too much for me
it's getting hard to breathe
can't do this constantly
oh you've been bothering me so,
breathe
why cant you,
see
that it's all a little too much for me
it's getting hard to breathe
can't do this constantly
oh you've been bothering me so

breathe

uk garage my drilla

*yo run up ig pls thank u ily*
https://www.instagram.com/redhxrse

stream: https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/redhorse1/headphones-2

idk what all this lyrical personal shit means go ask an english teacher or something-

verse 1
i just wanna have a talk
about how selfish i am
about how little of a man i’ve become
and you say there’s no rules
tell that to my mum and dad
cos their answers won’t be just for fun

prechorus
why can't i care about the big things in life
the words just drift all over my mind
a bubble i can't burst
could this ever get any worse
i tell them i’m fine

chorus
i put my headphones in
drown out all the bad shit
the fear of rejections getting ever so big
when the culture runs deep
claustrophobia kicks in
and i’m left tryna break this fucking ceiling

postchorus
i wanna tell them i care
but this pain i can’t bear
already tearing up as i write this song
i guess i’ll just man up for once
i’ve had more than enough for too long

verse 2
now i see myself decaying
why am i relishing in it though
i guess routines have their way around me
i feel these emotions fading
cut ties with everyone i know
can’t keep a convo cos noone feels real

verse 3
((rappity raprap))
eyes on my back i keep watching
they all wanna see me lose but i keep winning
do this shit solo don’t need nobody’s help
if u ain’t fuck w me i can only wish u well
say i ain’t normal when they wish they were weirdos
why i needa follow rules i ain’t got nothing to fear for
maybe this ego’s why i’m here tho

prechorus
why can't i care about the big things in life
the words just drift all over my mind
a bubble i can't burst
could this ever get any worse
i tell them i’m fine

chorus
i put my headphones in
drown out all the bad shit
the fear of rejections getting ever so big
when the culture runs deep
claustrophobia kicks in
and i’m left tryna break this fucking ceiling

postchorus
i wanna tell them i care
but this pain i can’t bear
already tearing up as i write this song
i guess i’ll just man up for once
i’ve had more than enough for too long

outro

if u reading dis comment something

headphones

stream the mf song

spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/64GfZxurvekpLsiJLfxm9y?si=2648166d5df14f6d

produced by me
mix and mastered by me
written by me
different from my other tunes, regardless i hope you enjoy

///
blood along the floor
i've been tryna find a purpose
i'm not sure
you've been running round in circles
they didn't mean to hurt you
playing my part i got nothing else to give you
blood along the floor
i've been tryna find a purpose
i'm not sure
you've been running round in circles
they didn't mean to hurt you
playing my part i got nothing else to give you

it crossed my mind
how you break me down
and ruin my life
but its fine!
all cool
i apologize,
if i came off rude
i couldnt help it if i tried to
you know more than i do
i'ma take a walk so i won't be home
but it provided no use for me
eyes darken when i clench my teeth
you find a way to throw it all
i lost my patience i'ma crash and fall

blood along the floor
i've been tryna find a purpose
i'm not sure
you've been running round in circles
they didn't mean to hurt you
playing my part i got nothing else to give you
blood along the floor
i've been tryna find a purpose
i'm not sure
you've been running round in circles
they didn't mean to hurt you
playing my part i got nothing else to give you

purpose

it was simple the way that you said it
i think i lost my heart and i don't know where i left it
i didn't mean to upset you
i just wanted to help you
but you did me dirty oh,
and you do everything that you can to hurt me oh,
i'm not the enemy
open your eyes and maybe then you'll see
i'm losing the colour, i can't see the green

monochromatic

ukg 2.0

stream: https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/redhorse1/complicated

this song SUPER underrated
in an alt universe i'd be making this stuff by default

prechorus
it’s the worst when i run out of things to say
while i’m around u (awwww)
and i can’t bear hearing the ‘no’s or maybes
just say that i’m a weirdo (thats cutee)
go round in all these circles that i go crazy
thinking bout u (woooo)
and i’m fearful
that i’m nothing more than a talking point to u                          -----damn thats kinda deep :((

chorus
and i’m supposed to brush it off (YAS)
finding bigger fish in the sea (QUEEN)
but they don’t know that being me is a rather thankless job (SLAY)
i’m overdramatic (u bet)
shedding all these pointless tears -----> crybaby pussy ass
if only they were here and find out that they’ll never manage -yea bruh they cant be me

verse
well i’m not one to talk
but i might show forth
all my dark thoughts and inhibitions
desensitised
to this brick wall of mine
why can't things be complicated £+#)£what is this poetic shit ew
x2

back to the top xxx

'midwest emo on crack riff' by yvette young

complicated

spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/4lwq80jSYhe7jYi6SQRGpJ?si=3972c9994a224673

p. zbeatz, b2nny, spoder
mixed by me and b2nny
with @b2nny
happy holidays
note: sorry abt the high end, it will be fixed from now on, listen on like 80% volume 

///
[spoder]
every thought up in my brain
every problem that i had
it all comes right back to you
don't you come here and break my rules love

remember what i said bout winter?
i'll have a couple cold nights but i swear that it'd get better
and i'll run back to you
but you've been falling apart
building back my roof, again

why you acting so tough for no reason?
when you're on the damn floor fucking bleeding
dirt up on your name
i don't want to be so pessimistic
all these people lame
but i really feel like i've been missing

a hug or some human contact and,
i'm falling
and i don't have the will to get back up
so for lack of better words, i'm stuck
i've been praying hard that i get some better luck oh
a hug or some human contact and,
i'm falling
and i don't have the will to get back up
so for lack of better words, i'm stuck
i've been praying hard that i get some better luck oh

[b2nny]
don’t know how to contact you
when you way in the back of a filled up room
it’s when you're lost in my mind
caught in my head
i feel the pressure
i'd rather be dead
than be alive at this time feeling nothing at all
i'd rather smash my fucking brain on this whole damn wall
don’t want a second alone
to bathe in my thoughts
thought that i canceled tonight but i guess we can take a walk for a minute
under the flashing street lights
don’t see me winning
this moment never feel right
to me, to you, to any watchers watching
i knew this wasn't the night

[spoder]
a hug or some human contact and,
i'm falling
and i don't have the will to get back up
so for lack of better words, i'm stuck
i've been praying hard that i get some better luck oh
a hug or some human contact and,
i'm falling
and i don't have the will to get back up
so for lack of better words, i'm stuck
i've been praying hard that i get some better luck oh

human contact w/ b2nny

throwing up
this early 
i dont wanna be grown now,
dont worry
treat me like a nuisance
lets fucking do this
beaten and bruised
put that fucker to use
come and pour that risotto
my main thang move jus like a model
niggas knocking on my head i guess im hollow

lets kill the lights out
i know
i know
you're fucking my life up
right on 
right on

growin up

https://open.spotify.com/track/4B1uVyBDCNCqtkePtcS6bg?si=biXMpvJhQrCGGkCchgv8DA
prod me
mixed by me
written by me

Lyrics:

you cant face me cuz next year i turn 18
moving out the country making sure that you cant trace me 
i been hitting so much yea my mama call me lazy 
she told me dont fuck with bitches not until im 18

now i made it i can see the light of day
yea im looking out my window and I c ur pretty face 
and im trippin bout ur love but i dont got no time to waste
now im laying in my bed its like im sleeping wide awake

its like im sitting here for hours on my own
I be scrolling through my instagram just tapping on my phone
"i dont like that to" i can hear it in ur tone
she dont like my mood, even tho im acting drone

FUCK
i cant fuck wit u no more
i said that im an artist i can paint u at my door
yea she caught me underpressur i gotta pick up on my score
all these letters that i wrote you are just sitting on my floor

yea ill pick all of them up and ill throw em in the trash can
i knew she was a fake now she calling me her trashman
yea my pain is on its way she a joke to my batman
all these thoughts(thots) i cant escape i just wonder whats happnen

she be crine on my arm pls bitch give me a break
its hard for me to tell you your my biggest mistake
and i cant even get u to stop calling my name
and i tell you these feelings girl, they are not the same.

as they used to be 
and you keep telling you friends that ur using me 
****
its getting through to me 
this the last time that i talk about you casually

its like im sitting here for hours on my own
scrolling through my instagram just tapping on my phone
"i dont like that to" i can hear it in ur tone
she dont like my mood, even tho im acting drone

FUCK
i cant fuck wit u no more
i said that im an artist i can paint u at my door
yea she caught me underpressur i gotta pick up on my score
all these letters that i wrote you are just sitting on my floor

yea ill pick all of them up and ill throw em in the trash can
i knew she was a fake now she calling me her trashman
yea my pain is on its way she a joke to my batman
all these thoughts(thots) i cant escape i just wonder whats happnen

is this sushi?

lilcheaty