I sent this song to my girlfriend and she still dont get it😭😭😭

it's been 5 years, I've discovered this when I was 12, this year I'm gonna be 15, this has been a part of me at my toughest times

HOPE

iusedtolikeyou

@lilhappylilsad @imsoalone

i feel no shame, girl im a no name
if i go my own way will u still stay
if i ever have to go will u let me
switchin lanes, if i fall will u help me

you is always on my mind cant believe it
how i tried to make u mine and i reached it
and im still getting high cause i need it
on the surface i am fine, whats beneath it

am i dreaming, girl whats our reason
i try to find myself in here like girl whats my meaning
feel like im sleeping, get low from my feelings
get high to relieve it, i fly and im leaving

i feel no shame, girl im a no name
if i find my own lane will u still stay
im beaten down, and i cry i cant feel shit
then i look into ur eyes and i feel it

u remind me of the good times, u remind me how i used to feel
u get me ridin on some good vibes, u remind me how it used to be
u remind me of the good times shawty give me good vibes bitch is real
u put me in a good mind, shawty give me good highs and its all surreal

no name w/ solonely (prod. lilhappylilsad)

@lilhappylilsad

girl fuck who youve become
i still hate on who u were
u would always do me wrong
i was always drippin blood
baby u could never see, how u laid the blade on me
tryna fight the shit i feel, but some scars just never heal

yeah u did me wrong
so i made some songs
tried to numb the pain u gave me but the numbness never lasted long
yeah u did me wrong
w some other boys
and i tried to get me high like all the time but didnt work that long

im sorry, i never wanted u to hurt
like boy, im sorry
its behind us now lets skrrt and write our story
cause i love you and u love me please dont worry
please dont worry

shes like 4 am, wide awake and writing love notes
thats just who i am, i cant sleep girl i just want u
yr my only friend, u just get me like i get u
u fucked up back then, its okay girl know i love you 

make me whole again, i got blood all on my nightstand
im fucked up like damn, im so lost please take my hand and
let our love expand, fuck what anyone think
they dont know what we have, they dont know where we been

numb the pain (prod. lilhappylilsad)

s/o everyone supporting me i appreciate you so much

@lilhappylilsad @teenpregnancy

no time, so stressed
i just wanna die im only positive in drug tests
so high, deep breaths
white sauce baby drippin down your skinny breasts
i cry, she left
now i count every second till im fuckin dead
more smiles, feel less
im alive baby but ive been so close to death

im alive but ive been so fuckin close to death
i get high to get rid of all the fuckin stress
coming down and i know that im a fuckin mess
cutting ties baby and i never have regrets

fuck fake people, fake friends fuck you
wish i didnt waste my time nah i hate you
and ive been on my shit, feeling good without you
fuck my old gang bunch of fucking see throughs

I wish I didn't waste my time I fucking hate u
baby please come home again I'll break too 
and I don't want to live alone without you
Even though I tried I'll fucking doubt you 

I dont wanna be alone
I'll try this one more time and then im on my own
I just wanna feel your touch want you to come back home
everything will be alright but I'm just so alone
please don't call my phone
I can't do this on my own

I just wanna feel your touch
you said you fucking loved me I can't feel your love
the times you said you cared you couldn't give a fuck
and now my arms are bleeding cause my wrists are cut
bitch I'm out of luck and I'm just so fucked up

and I don't wanna live alone without you
I swear to god I fucking hate you
I promised you the world I fucking gave you
your heart never left my hands I'm faced to

shatter it to pieces all again
your skin was so soft you're always running through my head
I just can't believe those fucking words that you said
shred through me like bullet i wish I was fucking dead

no time, so stressed w/ Teen Pregnancy (prod. lilhappylilsad)

@lilhappylilsad @kuroimetsuyu

yt: https://youtu.be/SLIKZXjkIu8

i thought that i had told myself
not to fucking fall in love
now i fucking find myself
singing to you in my songs

im sure im gonna hurt you girl
so you better stay away
know that youre at loss for words
i just dont know what else to say

i dont wanna be
the reason that you bleed
girl you better leave
yeah im trynna make you see

youre better off alone
at least youll still be free
while im smoking weed
for the scars im trynna heal
x2

while i find myself x3
ill never find myself

find myself (prod. kuroime)

prod @notmorgn

listen on youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gd_Xqqx_St8

whats wrong or whats right
im bouta take a flight like should i say goodbye 
fuck that imma hold onto my pride
momma raised a soldier so i can't afford to cry
lookin back i see the knife in my back now
lookin at life wishing i was in the background 
lookin back i see my future in the past now
90 in the whip like should i crash now

im so sick of this im so sick of shit nobody listening 
demons all around diamonds wet just like a christening 
wait why you always high when you call me
why'd u ask what's wrong when you saw me (X2)

chemicals running through my veins i just wanna sleep 
feelings bleeding out my brain but right now i can't feel a thing 
woke up late time to waste away
my favorite days are the rainy days
let it soak in then i throw it all away
i try my best but this feeling always stays
you know i try but you gotta gimme space
and i dont wanna hurt you if you get in my way

(hook)

reach out just to waste my time
its the young waste of space 
with his headphones on
call me when you need me baby
but i know im the last resort
you said that you love me
how the fuck could you just love a ghost
you said that you love me baby
i said we are not that close

(hook)

reach out just to waste my time
its the young waste of space 
with his headphones on
call me when you need me baby
but i know im the last resort
you said that you love me
how the fuck could you just love a ghost
you said that you love me baby
i said we are not that close

im so sick of this

Stream on Spotify

numb4ever

@prodreaper
@guccihighwaters

[chorus]
ash out on some cardboard
sour lips, wide hips, fall in love with your contour
mi amor, mi amor

[verse]
kiss me in the rain or leave me at the front door
tell me you despise me tell me that you need more
tell me i'm a freak, tell me i'm insecure, mi amor mi amor

if i wanna dance with the devil i can ask
why you lock your phone baby tell me what is that
if you got an issue then you know i got your back
if he wants to meet you can say just, that

it won't come to floracion
i know that you kissed him i know that he put you down
he can find, someone else, he can throw, around

[chorus]
ash out on some cardboard
sour lips, wide hips, fall in love with your contour
mi amor, mi amor

[verse]
indecisive leaning on the vices i don't like advice, i just flip the light switch
sleep it off, overslept got missed calls, 
do not disturb on my phone got sick thoughts,

 mi amor, i wanna love you till my hearts sore, 
i was drowning in emotions, when i met you i really stopped choking
 but you deserve the world, i really mean that
i don't have it all, i know that you can see that,
 allot of things to explore, but i just want you behind this closed door

find myself (prod. kuroime)

lil happy lil sad

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