I sent this song to my girlfriend and she still dont get it😭😭😭

it's been 5 years, I've discovered this when I was 12, this year I'm gonna be 15, this has been a part of me at my toughest times

s a d v i b e s

2DEAD2LOVE (prod. sydthekidbeats)

@lilhappylilsad @imsoalone

i feel no shame, girl im a no name
if i go my own way will u still stay
if i ever have to go will u let me
switchin lanes, if i fall will u help me

you is always on my mind cant believe it
how i tried to make u mine and i reached it
and im still getting high cause i need it
on the surface i am fine, whats beneath it

am i dreaming, girl whats our reason
i try to find myself in here like girl whats my meaning
feel like im sleeping, get low from my feelings
get high to relieve it, i fly and im leaving

i feel no shame, girl im a no name
if i find my own lane will u still stay
im beaten down, and i cry i cant feel shit
then i look into ur eyes and i feel it

u remind me of the good times, u remind me how i used to feel
u get me ridin on some good vibes, u remind me how it used to be
u remind me of the good times shawty give me good vibes bitch is real
u put me in a good mind, shawty give me good highs and its all surreal

no name w/ solonely (prod. lilhappylilsad)

@lilhappylilsad

i cant run can u help me
im so lost baby save me
i just want u to crave me
ur my drug why u playin

i cant feel baby
ur not real baby
all these tears baby
all these years
if i let you go will u feel alone
would u want me back
would u even care

baby trust me tho
i just cant be yours
bitch i feel so low
demons in my core
know u hate them too
but they hate me more
they always bring me down
they always make me fall

u always try while i fuck it up
u know i cry cause im so fucking numb
u know i try but im so fucking dumb
u know ill die and i will let you down

the voices tell me to kill myself
i wanna do it cause i live in hell
they always scream, always in my head
they wont leave till im fucking dead

save me (prod. lilhappylilsad)

@lilhappylilsad

i got bud
i got mud
i got anything ud ever want
i got love
i got blood
pour it up from my wrist im a drug

if u want
let me take u
to my town
i can help you
fell in love
girl i want you
take some drugs
know you want to

i just want u to feel everythings fine
i just want u to stand by my side
i just want u to get high all damn night
i just want u to fuck me and cry

im tired, I'm so sick of this shit
im so tired, but ill never quit
cause i know that u know what i do is too lit
cause u stayed w me all night wiped blood off my wrist
suck my dick

lil drug (prod. lilhappylilsad)

@lilhappylilsad

girl fuck who youve become
i still hate on who u were
u would always do me wrong
i was always drippin blood
baby u could never see, how u laid the blade on me
tryna fight the shit i feel, but some scars just never heal

yeah u did me wrong
so i made some songs
tried to numb the pain u gave me but the numbness never lasted long
yeah u did me wrong
w some other boys
and i tried to get me high like all the time but didnt work that long

im sorry, i never wanted u to hurt
like boy, im sorry
its behind us now lets skrrt and write our story
cause i love you and u love me please dont worry
please dont worry

shes like 4 am, wide awake and writing love notes
thats just who i am, i cant sleep girl i just want u
yr my only friend, u just get me like i get u
u fucked up back then, its okay girl know i love you 

make me whole again, i got blood all on my nightstand
im fucked up like damn, im so lost please take my hand and
let our love expand, fuck what anyone think
they dont know what we have, they dont know where we been

numb the pain (prod. lilhappylilsad)

@lilhappylilsad

Art by: @neversince

Lyrics:

ye i love you, and i want u to smile
get the drugs boo, ye lets smoke and get high
drippin blood tho, i got death on my mind
got this urge hoe, wanna cut till die

and i dont want to, but i fuck it all up
i feel so damn low, cant control it at times
and it hurts you, i dont want u to cry
cause i love u, and i want u to smile

lil happy lil sad - smile (prod. nciku)

@lilhappylilsad @nciku @memuryboy
cover art: instagram @coverartplug

i hope that youre alright girl, yeah i pray you're well
I've been worried all damn night girl pick up ur cell
i cant shake this fucking feeling that somethings wrong
i tied some rope to the ceiling & i put it on
please hit me up and tell me that youre fine
i dont wanna die girl ive had enough tonight
stuck inside my mind dying on the inside
i get high all night cause i fucking hate my life 

and i miss u
nothing else is on my mind girl let me kiss you
i just want u by my side and guess i got you
falling stars look in the sky and make a wish boo
i swear they come true
yeah i miss u
nothing else is on my mind girl let me kiss you
i just want u by my side and guess i got you
falling stars look in the sky and make a wish boo
thats how i got you

yeah i miss u
baby call me
i never listen
and im sorry
if i came back
would u love me
girl i smoke thrax
baby join me

yeah i miss u
yeah i miss u so
baby please don't go
I'll be waiting home
yeah i miss u so
baby please don't go
I'll be waiting home 
yeah i love you boo

lil numb w/ Teen Pregnancy (prod. lilhappylilsad)

@lilhappylilsad @kuroimetsuyu

yt: https://youtu.be/SLIKZXjkIu8

i thought that i had told myself
not to fucking fall in love
now i fucking find myself
singing to you in my songs

im sure im gonna hurt you girl
so you better stay away
know that youre at loss for words
i just dont know what else to say

i dont wanna be
the reason that you bleed
girl you better leave
yeah im trynna make you see

youre better off alone
at least youll still be free
while im smoking weed
for the scars im trynna heal
x2

while i find myself x3
ill never find myself

find myself (prod. kuroime)

@lilhappylilsad

music video: https://youtu.be/qSVPoTjlw-8

she told me i was nothing n it hurt
she used to make me happy n feel special with her words
i tried to shed some light on all the dark inside of her
she used to be my everything and now im off the drugs 

i fell to the ground
im smoking all the time
just tryna survive
i might kill myself tonight

i never fucking know
when im gonna go
cause one day i am happy
next im strangled by the noose

i fell to the ground
crying all the time
sadness in my sound
i am always on the grind

im always feeling low
stuck inside my mind
i just wanna go
but i never seem to die

always in my bed i made her leave me here alone
screamin at her crying i would point her to the door
all i ever want is her to be here when im low
i try to act unbothered but i end up hurting more
x2

i fell to the ground
im smoking all the time
just tryna survive
i might kill myself tonight

i never fucking know
when im gonna go
cause one day i am happy
next im strangled by the noose

i fell to the ground
crying all the time
sadness in my sound
i am always on the grind

im always feeling low
stuck inside my mind
i just wanna go
but i never seem to die

survive (VIDEO IN DESCRIPTION)

fats'e - apathy (ft. guccihighwaters)

guitar, production -https://soundcloud.com/poppytears

shout out to https://soundcloud.com/i_x_t_a_i_l_s for jumping on this one with me  

"Behind Screens" full album: https://open.spotify.com/album/25XjozBMStYBDrlGk3wqHw?si=xAQ3iCJaTb6kz4hOhSMS0g

featuring: https://soundcloud.com/familypet
https://soundcloud.com/4ever-falling https://soundcloud.com/lilhappylilsad
https://soundcloud.com/i_x_t_a_i_l_s

cover art: www.instagram.com/kenny_ravee/

Bandcamp link: https://lilsedative.bandcamp.com/track/healthy-relief-ft-9tails-remastered

love you all

LYRICS: 

9TAILS:
not much i can do
pretty girls always needed more acceptance from you
i told her I'd
love if we ran away
cheap grams and cheap faith arent much of a reason to stay
and we could come back anytime but my souls had enough for today
enough with these moodswings i love you i love you but please go away
she feeds me real great
i can only wait so long
i can only show you once
december weather got my fingers numb
we end with the day
were gone with the sun

Poppy Tears: 

You call yourself a rockstar 
and you can't even play the fucking guitar
I know it isn't in your heart 
couldn't give two fucks about the art

we all fade away like a picture losing colour inside it's frame 
are we all waiting for the day, the day we look back upon what we made

like was it worth it 
Am I deserving
I'm still learning 
with death I'm flirting 

I slow my heart rate 
I've made that mistake 
feel my bones shake 
and find my own lane

✧ spotify ✧

healthy relief w/ 9TAILS (prod. poppy tears)

heart_beat (sewerperson)

prod https://soundcloud.com/feelnum

i got 2 hennny bottles
got me feeling like a rockstar
now it's like 
4 in the morning we're dodging cop cars
take my hand
i know that you love xans
so lets fall in love
so i understand  
  
i got 2 hennny bottles
got me feeling like a rockstar
now it's like 
4 in the morning we're dodging cop cars
take my hand
i know that you love xans
so lets fall in love
so i understand  
    
and i'm so high i barely feel you
and i cut class so i could see you
now im in your bed you got me late
i can't sleep	
so let's get baked

because its 4 in the morning
because its 4 in the morning
i think your friends are really boring
so lets just ride at 4 in the morning

4am (interlude)

b alright (vitals x jabarionthebeat)

Prod. Kado

https://soundcloud.com/bradyponder

https://soundcloud.com/lilsadeyes

<3

Lyrics:
Okay okay now think I’m on my way now 
Show up at the show and it’s time to bring the place down 
Think it’s time to cop a little place now
Maybe cop a tattoo up on my face now
Okay okay now think I’m on my way now 
Show up at the show and it’s time to bring the place down 
I just need a little space now 
I’m just hoping that you stay down 

Well okay okay is that all you’ve got to say
I’ve been keeping to myself I don’t know another way 
I don’t want to hang maybe some other day 
I don’t really want to go but I sure don’t want to stay 
I know that I’m the reason that you find it hard to care
All you needed was a friend I was never even there
But I’m tryin to improve cause I’m feeling pretty down
And I’m getting sick of no one ever wanting me around
Since I met you I re-thought a few things
My no love songs rule and the words that I mean 
I’m good on the Juul I e got my nicotine 
From the buzz that you give and the joy that it brings 
This blunt is getting short I just wish that it would last
It reminds me of the times that I’m never getting back 
I’m leaving pretty soon hope you’ll be here when I’m back 
Cause I think I think you’re  pretty cool and I thought you’d like that 

And she goes
You’re all I have and all I want but that won’t last no
That won’t last 
All alone I guess that’s fine
I feel at home when I’m inside 
I keep crying in my blanket 
I get sad but I can’t hide it 
I get low
Nobody to hold not one soul I can confide in 
I fall so quickly whenever you’re with me
But when I’m gone no you won’t miss me 
I’ve been getting high to change my feelings when I’m low 
All it does it make me choke it’s fucking up my throat 
I can’t even look at girls cause I don’t want to go 
Down another road that gets me stranded in the cold

find myself (prod. kuroime)

lil happy lil sad

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