This one is lovely, would love to do a  rework of it

“So Sorry” – A Song of Regret and Redemption

So Sorry is a heartfelt song about the pain of mistakes and the longing to make things right. It captures the emotions of regret, the weight of unspoken words, and the hope for forgiveness.

With soulful melodies and deeply personal lyrics, the song paints a picture of someone looking back on their actions, realizing the hurt they’ve caused, and desperately wanting a second chance. It’s about those late-night thoughts, the moments of reflection, and the sincere wish to turn back time.

So Sorry is more than just an apology—it’s a confession, a plea, and a reminder that while we can’t change the past, we can still try to heal what’s broken.

So Sorry

Sien jy die berg wat ek moet klim?
Sien jy die dal, met ’n duiwel daarin?
Sien ek vir jou, of weerkaats jy
Weereens teen die druppels in my oë?
Die druppels in my oë

En skep vir my ’n roeping, en ek volg dit blindelings na
Skep vir my ’n roeping, en ek volg dit blindelings na
Vermy vir my, vermy vir my, vermy vir my!
Vermy vir my, voordat jy seerkry
Vermy vir my.
Vermy vir my

Sien jy die pad weg hiervandaan
Het jy die verstand en die voete om dit na te gaan
Het jy die leiband, kan jy lei?
Tot die plek waar ek my verlossing kry

En skep vir my ’n roeping, en ek volg dit blindelings na
Skep vir my ’n roeping, en ek volg dit blindelings na
Vermy vir my, vermy vir my, vermy vir my!
Vermy vir my, voordat jy seerkry
Vermy vir my.
Vermy vir my

En skep vir my ’n roeping, en ek volg dit blindelings na
Skep vir my ’n roeping, en ek volg dit blindelings na
Vermy vir my, vermy vir my, vermy vir my!
Vermy vir my, voordat jy seerkry
Vermy vir my.
Vermy vir my

Sien jy die berg wat ek moet klim
Sien jy die dal, met ’n duiwel daarin

Vermy Vir My

For every child who’s been told they’re “too much” or “not enough”
This is the story of life in a world that won’t slow down.

A neurodivergent mind trying to survive the noise, the lights, the looks, the labels. Misunderstood by teachers. Isolated by classmates. Always one step behind, or three steps ahead, but never quite where the world expects.

Until one quiet moment, and in my case, the sound of a clarinet.
It didn’t fix everything, but it gave my chaos a rhythm, and my mind some space to breathe.
(It won’t be the answer for everyone, but it helped me begin to find my way.)

This track isn’t perfect, neither am I.
But it’s honest. And sometimes, that’s enough. 💙🎵🕊️

This track is for the kids who feel everything.
💙 For the ones masking to fit in.
💙 For the ones melting down inside.
💙 For the ones still searching for a safe place to just be.

You’re not broken. You’re brilliant.
And your rhythm matters. 🎵🕊️

****Lyrics****

They said, “Use your words,”
But mine don’t come when I need them
They said, “Pay attention,”
But I already was, just not the way they wanted
I don’t talk much in class
But my head never stops
I see things they don’t
And they call it “wrong”

It’s too loud, too bright, too fast
And I’m trying, I promise, I really am
But I don’t fit in their lesson plan
So they call me “difficult” again
I’m not broken, I’m not bad
I just need someone to understand
It’s too loud, too bright, too fast
And I’m doing the best I can

The lights flicker hard
And the questions come too quick
They say “just be normal”
But don’t say what that is
I like quiet corners
They call that “hiding”
But I call it breathing
When the noise keeps rising

It’s too loud, too bright, too fast
And I’m trying, I promise, I really am
But I don’t fit in their lesson plan
So they call me “difficult” again
I’m not broken, I’m not bad
I just need someone to understand
It’s too loud, too bright, too fast
And I’m doing the best I can

I wish they’d stop asking me why I’m like this
And just ask me what I need
They might find I’ve got answers
They’ve never even seen

Then one day they handed me a clarinet
Said, “Let’s see what happens”
And I did
I held it close
Like something that understood
One steady breath
And the chaos moved

It’s still loud, still bright, still fast
But I found a way to hold it back
Through every note I find my pace
In every sound, I carve some space
No, it didn’t fix everything
But it helped my heart to sing
It’s still loud, still bright, still fast
But now I know who I am

I am not naughty
I am not wrong
I just needed
My own kind of song
And if you’re someone who stands beside us
When the world feels too sharp to explain
Who waits through the silence
And stays through the strain
If you've helped us breathe
When the noise felt too wide
If you’ve shown us our value
Instead of making us hide
Then thank you
For seeing the spark
For hearing the thread
For loving us gently
When others just fled

🎵 Too Loud, Too Bright, Too Fast

what you did

A powerful pride song with an anthemic chorus, pulsating beats, and a clear message: love, visibility, and solidarity. Solemn, combative, and emotional all at once—perfect for the streets of Berlin during Pride Month.

Louder then Fear (Pride Anthem Berlin)

R.N.D.& Katia Sparks - Боль и отчаянье

“In everybody’s life there’s a point of no return. And in a very few cases, a point where you can’t go forward anymore. And when we reach that point, all we can do is quietly accept the fact. That’s how we survive.” - Haruki Murakami
I invite you to listen to my piano improvisation "Nowhere to Return".

The sheet music of my compositions can be downloaded from here:
https://www.sheetmusicplus.com/publishers/victor-birkan-sheet-music/3028943?isPLP=1

Listen to videoversion on my YouTube channel:
https://youtu.be/XxuJzgL0yqI


Nowhere to Return - Improvised Piano Piece

Zhuoma
A name carried by countless Tibetan women – a symbol of beauty, compassion, and feminine strength. A song for the daughters of Tibet, whose voices weave the melody of the heart.


Her name is whispered in the mountain song,
Zhuoma has lived in our hearts all along.
From village to valley, her laughter will stay,
a daughter of Tibet, as bright as the day.

Zhuoma, Zhuoma, your spirit shines,
a thousand voices call your name in the pines.
Every girl carries your gentle flame,
Tibet remembers through your name.

She walks with the rivers, she sings with the sky,
her prayer is a banner that never will die.
Zhuoma is every sister we know,
a name like the flowers where soft winds blow.

Zhuoma, Zhuoma, your spirit shines,
a thousand voices call your name in the pines.
Every girl carries your gentle flame,
Tibet remembers through your name.

When the singers gather, the stories begin,
Zhuoma is the song we are singing within.

Zhuoma, Zhuoma, your spirit shines,
a thousand voices call your name in the pines.
Every girl carries your gentle flame,
Tibet remembers through your name.

Zhuoma

Soul, emotional ballad. 
Piano driven. 
Song and lyrics by Sas.

-Unappreciated 
[Verse]
I wake up early before the sun
struggle to sleep
Chasing my shadows 
No one sees me 
My hands to my face 
Hiding behind them
giving all I got
But they just take, take. 
Some ,They just leave ( sigh )
[Chorus]
Unappreciated that's my name
Pour my soul but it's all the same
Every thought, every breath I breathe,
It's for everyone else,
but no one sees me.
The real ME. 
[Verse 2]
I hold the weight of every word said
Quietly breaking under pride
I mend their hearts 
But who's gonna fix my broken one
[Prechorus]
Can't do right no matter how I try
They never notice 
what they say.
[Chorus]
Unappreciated that's my name
Pour my soul ,but it's all the same
Every thought, every breath I breathe
It's for them, but no one sees me
[Bridge]
The walls of this room echo my song
They listen better than people I've known and know.
In my lyrics I find my home.
Maybe the silence is my only friend.
At least it stays until the end.

Unappreciated, That’s my name.

Can’t do no right, 
so now I chose to not open my mouth. ( sigh ) ( sigh)

Unappreciated

Cats are hiding deep within the shade;
full-moon wolf, the night has woken,
rugs are flying through the sky’s parade,
and witches stir their brooms, unspoken.

Bats and toads are boiling side by side,
with lizard tails inside their potion,
a brew that wakes the dead to ride,
then fades away—through air in motion.

It is that night of “toothache pain,”
when every window gleams with light,
and in the silence, steps remain,
your nervous pacing through the night.

It is that night of sleepless sorrow,
when clocks forget to move their hands,
and spirits seek a soul to borrow,
while tickling softly where one stands.

It is that night when beds grow wide,
and warmth no longer dares to stay,
you lose your compass, drift inside,
the bow and stern both fade away.

That night, so clear beneath the moon,
where spells are real and fears endure,
defenseless as a child in tune,
we face within—our “darker core.”

Alone in the Night

Before I Break Again.mp3

Follow me/contact me on Instagram :  lilies.on.fire 

I’m all about creating music with real and raw lyrics and sounds to make you feel and experience life through it. I am no singer - but I love to write, build and produce songs. Its my way to cope with life, almost like a diary.

Im happy chilling in bed or hanging in bars. With family and friends. When I work, I work really hard. When I relax, I hide away and go silent. 

I daydream too much. I never work out. I romantize red wine and late night writing. When I wanna run away to a nicer place in my mind, I listen to Frank Sinatra. When I wanna feel grounded, I listen to Bruce Springsteen. As I dream, I listen to Taylor Swift.

I dont like listening to music when I cry because I think that it makes the hurt even worse. I’m easily bored so I always risk a lot to be blown away. I LOVE LOVE. I think that its a blessing to be able to feel. If I cant create something I get depressed.

Going to sleep in the same bed as my daughters makes me feel  happy. I eat fastfood and I really dont care about it. Doing what makes you happy is the most important thing in life so just do it - but please dont break hearts. (If you break my heart, you will end up in a song.)

Life is short. I am tall. Never stop dreaming. And always be yourself. Who cares what others think? BE FREE.

what you did

Lilies on Fire

Recent comments

DaN ReYNoLDS

Joey Moi/BigLoud Record

Related tracks