pain extract

mastered by neekattack
recorded / mixed lil narnia & neekattack

The Melancholy Of

you pirouette in the parking lot
the sound of pain 
and they tell you to stop
run it again 
how you’re better off
girl get away will you carry on
hide your face
 the fuck do you want 
I’m doing me just staying alive
hide my face paramedics arrive 
I’m doing me just stayin alive
picture perfect pain that I let
cultivate inside of my hands
pull away and scrape what I can
is this what I’ve become
I wanna shed my skin
I wanna watch as you crawl in
and it’s making me sick 
tryna hold this in
you pirouette in the parking lot
the sound of pain and they tell you to stop
run it again how you’re better off
girl get away when you carry on
hide your face the fuck do you want 
doin me just staying alive
hide my face paramedics arrive 
doin me just stayin alive
What am I doin when it’s all for you and
livin like I’m not human
I know this body’s useless
and the truth is i wanna shed my skin
I wanna watch as you crawl in
and it’s making me sick 
tryna hold this in
you pirouette in the parking lot
the sound of pain 
and they tell you to stop
run it again how you’re better off
girl get away will you carry on
hide your face the fuck do you want 
doin me just staying alive
hide my face paramedics arrive 
doin me just stayin alive

Pirouette

pirouette (prod. curtains & deadat18)

standing at the edge
i just want out of this skin im in
i want it all to shed

fading like the pain
watch you fall through me
always hang my head when i watch you leave
ill sever the chains find you someday
why cant we just stay where weve been always

so so sad just not right
so fucked up when im up all night
just dont feel the same
all i feel is pain
wanna end my life and i dont know why
always try but it never goes right
guess ill rue the day i ever even said your name
life gets dark and the bridge gets thin
everything stops and the lights get dim
when you coming back
cant you tell me that
always try
always lie that itll get better
just wont stop
make you feel better
cant tell whats wrong
wont be on this earth for long

fading like the pain
watch you fall through me
always hang my head when i watch you leave
ill sever the chains find you someday
why cant we just stay where we've been always
standing at the edge &
i just want out of this skin im in
i want it all to shed

rouge (feat. lil soda boi) [prod. slidinmoon]

is this over
am i closer to what i want
sit at home with the tv on
always alone whenever you're gone
pull me closer and break me off
am i closer
to peace of mind getting older
is this waste of time
on the coldest nights
ill be by your side
or should I

im goin 180 they turning 360
i hit a new 40
need a new bitch
need a new woahdy
need a new clip
fuck is your homie
just gotta new beam
all on my lonely
we is not bros at all
fuck is you talking about
i cannot fuck with yall
i do not fuck with yall
everyone sus me out
i only trust a few
skin a bit stronger now

hang my head when you come around
scared to death in an empty house
holding my breath when i see you now
come again just to break me down

is this over
am i closer to what i want
sit at home with the tv on
always alone whenever you're gone
pull me closer and break me off

closer (feat. fats'e & 93FEETOFSMOKE) [prod. jay vee]

we are the night
the system
we are whatever we are
i dont need you tearing me apart
like the image you miss that you caught a glimpse of
i couldve guessed that youd wanna mess up
everything and its always raining
just like a gray cloud while you lay face down
are you okay now

we are (feat. lil kirby & luvange1) [prod. curtains]

i cant keep up
my body will rot
and bloom into nothing
a beautiful ending
why do you watch
im sorry im not
enough to say goodbye
tell me why should I

scratch at my skin
 wonder what it all meant
a casket under a flowerbed
or ashes spread against the world you live
pull me apart and get it over with
I wonder what its like inside your head
pull me apart and get it over with

i cant keep up
my body will rot
and bloom into nothing
a beautiful ending
why do you watch
im sorry im not
enough to say goodbye
tell me why should I

bloom [prod. slidinmoon & acidfunk]

tearing at my flesh i hate it
I am encased in a body of skin and bone
staring at my flesh i hate it
I am encased in a body of makeshift skin
staring at my hands afraid of
a skin, a carapace 
left empty and it makes me sick
hate what i see &
i feel defeated
wish i could stay for dawn
but i better not
hate what i see &
i feel defeated
its like theres nothing at all
i'll miss you the most

ghost in the shell
walking through this hell
called life and I dwell
on the time that we fell apart
i hate it
im feeling so vacant
my soul feels so naked
without you im jaded
pick at these wounds 
till i see the bone
deep down i still really miss your soul
I’m feeling backed down
Keep it on the low
Cause I’m so messed up
But I can’t let go

staring at my flesh i hate it
I am encased in a body of makeshift skin
staring at my hands afraid of
a skin, a carapace 
left empty and it makes me sick
bury my body in wisteria

flesh (feat. ava akira) [prod. deadat18 & curtains]

I'll hide and find a place to hang my head
stare at the floor inside I tried my best
I wanna stay away but don't think that I can
I keep trying again and again
I'm over it

don't think that I can make this work
biting my tongue with blood on my shirt
I know I have so much more to learn
like how to quit when
all my alternatives are spent
every one that I love has left
wish you saw me for who I am
but I guess that everything is all for forfeit
giving up hurts so much more than
staying away
at least nobody can see me
everything is all for nothing
I just wish I saw it coming
from far away
hold my breath like you're watching

baby does it hurt
knowing youre the worst one
laying in the dirt
say the words of your god
baby give it up
there's no point in crying
say that you're in love
tell me who was lying
trying to hold on
you should just let go
pick yourself up
leave me alone
just give it up

don't think that I can make this work
biting my tongue with blood on my shirt
I know I have so much more to learn
like how to quit when
all my alternatives are spent
every one that I love has left
wish you saw me for who I am
but I guess that everything is all for forfeit
giving up hurts so much more than
staying away
at least nobody can see me
everything is all for nothing
I just wish I saw it coming
from far away
hold my breath like you're watching

How To Quit (feat. Penelope Waters) [prod. BlingBlou]

are you okay
saw your ghost today
watching over me or so I thought
maybe I just see what I want
followed every step you took
are you okay
saw your ghost parade
all across the street you used to walk
saw it slowly wander off
god I just miss you so much

i can’t save a weekend
drowning in the deep end 
i won’t even speak till 
you’re out on the ground
covering my weakness 
you’ll be in the way 
brighten up the bleakness
trample all the names
out of every street and
flush it down the drain
make sure every details
missing from my brain

are you okay
saw your ghost today
watching over me or so I thought
maybe I just see what I want
followed every step you took
are you okay
saw your ghost parade
all across the street you used to walk
saw it slowly wander off
god I just miss you so much

i can’t make this week end
you’re all that i breathe in
i need olive trees and
reasons to stay sane
i’m bludgeoning my regrets 
taking on the blame
coming for the sunset
running from the day
if i have piece then
i’ll give it away
cause that’s all that i needed
nothing to relate

are you okay
saw your ghost today
watching over me or so I thought
maybe I just see what I want
followed every step you took
are you okay
saw your ghost parade
all across the street you used to walk
saw it slowly wander off
god I just miss you so much

ghost parade (feat. 6host) [prod. blingblou]

if i had a chance
i would probably take it
get away from all the past mistakes
and lay in the grass
we could move so fast
if we ran away this city's holding me in place
im getting sick of it all

i am full of so much hatred
sick of seeing faces
i just wanna be alone
are you watching while i break 
im trapped inside a cage and
everything is going wrong

take me anywhere but here
i smile in the mirror
i wanna disappear and start again
i wanna feel clean
i know the scenery wont change whats left in me
i was drowning

dive into me

if i had a chance
i would probably take it
get away from all the past mistakes
and lay in the grass
we could move so fast
if we ran away this city's holding me in place
im getting sick of it all

i am full of so much hatred
sick of seeing faces
i just wanna be alone
are you watching while i break 
im trapped inside a cage and
everything is going wrong




penelope waters - if i had a chance (prod. lil narnia and blingblou)

georgia (phoebe bridgers cover) [prod. lil narnia & deadat18)

just hold my hand
we'll make it someday
I know you're listening
like nothings wrong
but I cant go home
i'm awful always
like all the small things
are all my fault
its all awful

trying hard to commit
it's never something I miss
I always start and I let go
say i'm sorry at best
think I forgot what it meant
I know i'm always a mess

I tried so hard to obsess
with all I have and yet
im stuck inside
watching webs connect

dont let go
no not yet I cant do this

just hold my hand
we'll make it someday
I know you're listening
like nothings wrong
but I cant go home
i'm awful always
like all the small things
are all my fault
its all awful

Tell me I can't give up
Cause it's hard to tell myself
Tell me I can't give up
Because it's hard to tell myself
I fucked up too many times
Derailed the train I'm inside
My shopping bag of ambition can only pile so high
You don't wanna take this path I'm living in constant panic
But when I'm with you it's better
I think it's automatic
Just believe me when I say that you and I can do magic



it's all awful (feat. polearm) [prod. polearm]

mixed / mastered by lil narnia

And I feel her weight
on me
do you feel the same 
she said hardly
cover my cuts with tape
maybe they'll close one day
done being afraid
baby I'm so fucking sorry
I know I fucked up 
In more ways than one
wish you would have stayed
but I'm not what you need

you said you’d never faulter
leave me when it’s over

And I feel her weight
on me
do you feel the same 
she said hardly
cover my cuts with tape
maybe they'll close one day
done being afraid
baby I'm so fucking sorry
I know I fucked up 
In more ways than one
wish you would have stayed
but I'm not what you need

and I know I’m not what you need
I’ll give you some time to breathe
cut the skin look underneath
see me for all that I am
I know I’m not what you need
keep trying to fall asleep
close my eyes imagining
something besides you but I can’t

I’m falling
feeing the weight of all my sins
progressing
to a better beyond I’m guessing
you’ll fall apart
Just like I did
forgetting
you might not just leave me again

And I feel her weight
on me
do you feel the same 
she said hardly
cover my cuts with tape
maybe they'll close one day
done being afraid
baby I'm so fucking sorry
I know I fucked up 
In more ways than one
wish you would have stayed
but I'm not what you need

wish you would have stayed (feat. MIRSY) [prod. Lederrick]

mixed / mastered by lil narnia

the life we had
and the life we want is
too far gone
I can't hold on for too long
you said that it was easier this way
you said it felt easier today
since we haven't spoken at all
I wonder how your hearts not broken at all
I guess it was all my fault after all

and is it over
never been closer to what I want
all I've got is another wound
open it again
and see you soon
meet me where it ends
the life we both lived
the life we had
and everything is hopeless
but you tell me its not so bad
holding hands while we watch it die
fall apart at the finish line
then think

and is it over
never been closer to what I want
all I've got is another wound
open it again
and see you soon
meet me where it ends
the life we both lived
the life we had
all my cuts have opened
fuckin heart of broken glass
why does this hurt so much
should have learned from the first time
its hopeless

is it over (feat. HORSEHEAD)[prod. Charlie Shuffler]

mixed / mastered by lil narnia

girl I fuckin hate
the way you make me feel
blue blood inside your veins
mine stay red always will

girl I fuckin hate
the way you make me feel
you say you're over me 
but can we keep things real

I know theres something
she's only bluffing
how long can we lie to ourselves
I know theres something
you said you loved me
would you just tell me the truth

girl I fuckin hate
the way you make me feel
blue blood inside your veins
mine stay red always will

girl I fuckin hate
the way you make me feel
you say you're over me 
but can we keep things real

I can't take anymore of this
all I can think is of you amidst
all the bullshit
can't let go if I can't forget you
maybe I never meant to
Maybe I didn't try yet
close my eyelids forever
but if I can't forget her
 stuck in the center
of those brown eyes
pull together and sever our ties
try to remember memories are better than nothing
been lying to myself again
im a fuckin mess
try my best not to regret
all the time that we spent
girl I fuckin hate
the way you make me feel
blue blood inside your veins
mine stay red always will
girl I fuckin hate
the way you make me feel
you say you're over me 
but can we keep things real
I know theres something
she's only bluffing
how long can we lie to ourselves
I know theres something
you said you loved me
would you just tell me the truth

always will [prod. Nversad]

mixed / mastered by lil narnia

wishing you well
even though you're with someone else
and nothing but the numbness helps
when theres nothing to do
stuck in my room with these thoughts of you
wishing you well
even though now you're someone else
couldn't tell you how it felt
how much it hurts seeing you
so different now its what distance will do
every second awake
every step that I take
is another one back
hoping one day you'll ask
if I'm okay
i'll tell you everything if you care to know
what its like in this hell
hoping your doing well
so numb I cannot feel
anything but this guilt inside of me
blame myself for things I can't change
all because of you
I love the way that you fucked me
hate every something that we could have been
again and again and again and again
why can't you just love me for who I am
why am I always so fucking upset
all of my pain and my love is the same
it comes from a place with no one else to blame
other than me its all self inflected
wounds that bleed inside and no one can see
self destruction is such a beautiful thing
how does it feel to watch me suffering
how does it feel to watch me suffering while i'm
wishing you well
even though you're with someone else
and nothing but the numbness helps
when there nothing to do
stuck in my room with these thoughts of you
wishing you well
even though now you're someone else
couldn't tell you how it felt
how much it hurts seeing you
so different now its what distance will do

baby i'm wishing you well
scratching the walls in my cell
the clarity rings like a bell
if only i could say farewell
to the winds that carry me
into the shadows that follow me
they will treat you well
don't forget to carry me
in your heart 
feed my body to my enemies

self destruction (feat. LOCAL ZERO) [prod. Charlie Shuffler]

mixed / mastered by lil narnia

I just want you next to me
but thats all a dream
broken like you
that thing between your eyes
but you act like nothings fucking wrong

I cant do this by myself
please tell me why I ruin
every fucking thing that I've ever loved
ever touched I know ill never be enough for you

all you did was watch while I fell apart
kept cutting me with shards from a broken heart
fall asleep in my arms like it was nothing to you
now tell me
does it feel good to hurt me
to know that you're lurking
inside of every thought
tell me do you feel happy
 to watch yourself stabbing me in the fucking heart
does watching the blood drip put a smile to your lips
does it make you feel strong
does watching me die from the fucking inside
make you laugh while you sing along
I know you'll always be beneath my sleeves
forever feel the scars burn
laugh and watch me bleed
cant feel anything 
self destruction she caused
fuck it hurts
why cant I just let go
shadows swallow me whole
phantoms following home like your ghost
memories that won't fade
and don't dull like the blade
passing through like a knife to the veins
wish you would have stayed

all you did was watch while I fell apart
kept cutting me with shards from a broken heart
fall asleep in my arms like it was nothing to you
now you're gone and

I just want you next to me
but thats all a dream
broken like you
that thing between your eyes
but you act like nothings fucking wrong

I cant do this by myself
please tell me why I ruin
every fucking thing that I've ever loved
ever touched I know ill never be enough for you

beneath my sleeves (prod. trxpicvl)

things in pain (feat. lil thuey)[prod. 4evr & nversad]

I cant get over those green eyes
so pale but she's so full of life
I've never seen somebody so lovely
wonder if there's really something
or if I'm just fucking up again
I cant get over those green eyes
her hair her face the way she smiles
im fuckin dead
I love hearing about how you've been
thought about you every single day since
cant believe someone so perfect exists
I cant get over those green eyes
I swear her heart has flowers inside
so beautiful
words cant describe they don't even come close
send you my love inside of a blue rose
just say goodbye and ill leave you alone
I cant get over those green eyes
her hands are so cold just like her fuckin heart
swear that I love how you tear me apart
draw with my blood like its more of your art
miss you so much but I know that you arent
missing me the same
feel so alone now
thought you cared about me
did you ever even feel anything
or was it all in my head
was it all in my head

her heart has flowers inside (prod. slidinmoon)

mixed / mastered by lil narnia

I remember everything
heaven didn't seem so far
when you were with me
falling asleep in my arms
and theres a hell that she brings
always lingering in her heart
now its inside mine but
I remember everything
heaven didn't seem so far
when you were with me
simple and clean like kingdom hearts
now you're gone in a blink
wonder what you think of me
are you gone for good

or am I wasting my time
thinking you might come back 
and make this right
tasting blood when I bite down
miss you so much right now
wish I didn't find out 
all the shit you did
all of our promises are you heartless
I find solace in memories against the truth
me and you we weren't meant to be
god damn I wish the memory would leave

I remember everything
heaven didn't seem so far
when you were with me
falling asleep in my arms
and theres a hell that she brings
always lingering in her heart
now its inside mine but
I remember everything
heaven didn't seem so far
when you were with me
simple and clean like kingdom hearts
now you're gone in a blink
wonder what you think of me
are you gone for good
(jon)
about to take it all
just too far now
show the whole world who you are now
I remember how you raised the bar now
with all that hate laying in your heart now
I let you get close to me
you're not what you're supposed to be
wish you never noticed me
are you gone for good or am I

heaven didn't seem so far (feat. jon simmons)[prod. BlingBlou]

internet crush fuck my life
never met nah we just type
lay in bed refresh all night
gotta let you know that I 
I can’t get you out my mind
Painted nails and half blue dye
pretty eyes send a million likes
you’re across the world fuck it I’ll fly

you’re across the world but girl it’s fine
I’ll talk through text till my phone dies

meet me at the spot you said that you would
internet crush and girl you got me good
oh like I just wanna talk to you right now
been so long since I felt like myself
every fucking thing got me overwhelmed but when I hear from you I feel better well I 
never wanted to feel this way 
looking at my screen oh no
but you’re so damn perfect opposite ends of the earth but fuck it I’ll buy a ticket and go fuck my phone

internet crush fuck my life
never met nah we just type
lay in bed refresh all night
gotta let you know that I 
I can’t get you out my mind
Painted nails and half blue dye
pretty eyes send a million likes
you’re across the world fuck it I’ll fly

meet me at the spot you said that you would
internet crush and girl you got me good
oh god you’re so gorgeous fuck I can’t
hold myself together when you post a pic 
send a million hearts but it won’t mean shit we’re so far apart but you’re so different
I never wanted to feel this way looking at my screen oh no
but you’re so damn perfect opposite ends of the earth but fuck it I’ll buy a ticket and go 
fuck my phone

internet crush (prod. trxpicvl)

I’ve never felt so fucked send help my love I’m going under
I wonder what you think of me tell me is it over
wish I didn’t love you so much
I’ve been getting used to what it does
trying to loosen my grip
girl I know I won’t get anywhere by
holding on too tightly I’m trying
not to lose my fuckin mind
you’re so confusing all the time
I don’t wanna lose you ill do anything
damnit I think you’re gone already

I wonder what you think of me but
god I know i shouldn’t
fall apart every time that you come when
I’m standing still alone and fucking stuck
wish I didn’t care about you so much
miss the way we used to talk
lately you’ve been gone
so far off from what I thought I would want
I love you so much 
you can use me just know I love you and

I’ve never felt so fucked send help my love I’m going under
I wonder what you think of me tell me is it over
wish I didn’t love you so much
I’ve been getting used to what it does
trying to loosen my grip
girl I know I won’t get anywhere by
holding on too tightly I’m trying
not to lose my fuckin mind
you’re so confusing all the time
I don’t wanna lose you ill do anything
damnit I think you’re gone already

I don’t wanna waste my time with you
spend a couple months now I’m back into
this game that I hate and I know its forsure
that you’ll leave me broken when you walk out the door
wish I didn’t fall so easily
cuz I feel you start to walk away from me
and I know I gotta get my self together now
feel so small underneath this ground
can you tell I’m breaking
with every word you’re saying to me now
all my bones are shaking trying my best somehow

I’ve never felt so fucked send help my love I’m going under
I wonder what you think of me tell me is it over

gonna keep loving you
cuz its the only thing I know how to do
I’m useless I’m used up
your perfect I’m in love
holding onto pieces that would keep us connected
pouring out my heart I should have kept you protected
I don’t wanna lose you after all that we went through
if it has to be this way ill never forget you

send help (feat. kaiyko & familypet) [prod. curtains]

oh my god here we go again
are we going too slow wish I knew what it meant
when you say its my fault but theres more to be said
you won’t answer my calls anymore or admit
that its your fault too and here we go again
I fucking hate love and all the things I did
always care too much sick of arguing 
you never did much were you even a friend at all

I know you cant stand me
my hands keep trembling when I think of you
you’re always inside like an open wound
sorry that I’m not enough for you
I’m done trying my eyes keep tightening when I think of you
holding it back I cant do this not now
but somehow I knew it would happen
cant calm down I fucking panic
every time we fight
and I swear I love hearing your voice
but I just cant do it tonight
see you some other time

the hourglass is running out of sand
this is getting way too out of hand
I don't remember this in the contract
try to reach and you wouldn't call back
cut me off and cut all contact

not tonight (feat. i set my friends on fire)[prod. trxpicvl]

Every day without you seems
like such a waste and I’m afraid that I’m not ever gonna be the same
and everyday I’m so ashamed
to let them see what we’ve become and how it’s killing me
lately everybody asks where I’ve been
I’ve been doing my best to keep quiet
in my room missing you oh they’re lying
they don’t care they just can’t take the silence
lately everybody asks where I’ve been
I’ve been doing my best to keep quiet
In my room missing you and I’m trying 
so hard to restart but I’m finding that 

Everyday without you seems
like such a waste and I’m afraid that I’m not ever gonna be the same
everyday I’m so ashamed
to let them see what we’ve become and how it’s killing me

sick of spending every second every day
wishing that you’d come back or say something
everybody always wants something from me except for you and it’s so confusing 
sick of spending every moment every night remembering when you’d come over like it was just yesterday but who am I kidding 
did it to myself and there’s no forgetting

every day (prod. neek)

day 38 cant make it
counting scars like marks in the pavement
all the love in me turned to hatred
and beautiful things bring pain when
they're gone like we all will be
wish I could kill my fucking feelings
stuck in this hell scratched your name in the ceiling
starting to think that this is really how it ends
been 6 months since I've seen you
hope you're doing good yea me too
things have changed so much and I've seen a new life
it all fell into place without you by my side
then 10 years came and went so quick
your first love's gone and got 3 kids
it took so long but there's so much I've missed
I've learned life hurts but I love this

And all I ever really wanted was you in it
Maybe I'm meant to spend forever as a masochist

all I have left is in my head
a blank space with your name in it
wish you would have stayed but I understand
went too deep and drowned again
I think the pain made me love instead
pulled out the oages inside my head
felt what it means to see everything and
every being for what it is
I still miss you so much
but everythings hopeless and its not so bad
add another slash and run it back screaming

Day 38 cant make it
counting scars like marks in the pavement
all the love in me turned to hatred
and beautiful things bring pain when
they're gone like we all will be
wish I could kill my fucking feelings
stuck in this hell scratched your name in the ceiling
starting to think that this is really how it ends
been 6 months since I've seen you
hope you're doing good yea me too
things have changed so much and I've seen a new life
It all fell into place without you by my side
then 10 years came and went so quick
your first love's gone and got 3 kids
it took so long but there's so much I've missed
I've learned life hurts but I love this

Day 38

day 38 (prod. shon lindauer)

produced by Cian P

I hate how much I miss it
sick of screaming good night princess
you always sit above my head with
tears and air pods in

and I wonder where you went 
while I’m in the background
how much harder can it get
I’m sorry if i lashed out
I’m always so upset
now I won’t make a damn sound
you’re beating something dead
why don’t you put your hand down

is this how it ends
how could I forget now
I’m honestly impressed
go party at your friends house
I’m so over this
ill just keep my head down
we’ve always been a mess living in a glass house

leaving cracks where I stood
and inside of us
I thought that I could 
fix it every time but
wherever I was
you would find a way to beat me again
against the glass every time
leaving scratches that I would patch and say will be fine
I apologize

beating something dead (feat. fifty grand)[prod. cian p]

oh those eyes remind me that it all ends bad
hold her hand with the IV sticking out I cant
sit and say goodbye please baby don’t leave
it should have been me
it should have been me

I never felt as powerless as i did in the hospital room
every second and hour spent saying how much i love you
and I’m so sorry that I fucking lied
said I’ll protect you but I couldn’t this time
it doesn’t matter how hard I tried
how the hell do I say goodbye
i wanna be the way we were
but it just keeps getting worse
keep screaming at the nurse I’m sorry
watch them take away your body

oh those eyes remind me that it all ends bad
hold her hand with the IV sticking out I cant
sit and say goodbye please baby don’t leave
it should have been me
it should have been me
scream until you comeback
I need you please don’t go yet
give me one more day
why would they take you away from me
I’m staring at the sky 
and wonder if you’re behind with
a thousand eyes on you
sitting inside the blue it still doesn’t feel real yet
kneeling next to your bed and seeing you so damn cold
just tell me its all a fucking lie

oh those eyes remind me that it all ends bad
hold her hand with the IV sticking out I cant
sit and say goodbye please baby don’t leave
it should have been me
it should have been me

keep screaming (prod. neek)

do what you want when its done come crawl back
why do you watch when its all my fault and
bury my head when i see your name now 
in the cement covering like a gray cloud

what a let down like you promised
ima head out in the process
ima stay down like you wanted
all the way out where your heart is
screaming how the hell you do it all to yourself
always knew what you were on and i still
tried so hard to prove it wrong and now i killed
whats left of me
if anything
you were right this whole time 
hide my head when you come back
pull me in to watch me react
come again when you need something to bring you back yea

do what you want when its done come crawl back
why do you watch when its all my fault and
bury my head when i see your name now 
in the cement covering like a gray cloud

gray cloud (prod. slidinmoon)

wish you would just call back
i dont know what happened
were moving so fast
and ive been feeling absent
all the time
when you're here im happy 
lately ive been having 
the worst days of my life
wishing you would call back
ive been saying too bad
maybe get a notepad read my mind
i wanna be happy
you know ive been having the worst days of my life

like misery and me when the wind shifts
put me in a grave with your lipstick
on my cheek when you drop me 6 feet
do you feel anything as you leave

and i guess this is how you wanted it
see the mess you could make with my heart against
the floor and your form takes shape of the rain when it pours
now i wish i never started
and ive reached the farthest point from you
why did i do all this when i know
you sit in your apartment crying on your phone

wish you would just call back
i dont know what happened
were moving so fast
and ive been feeling absent
all the time
when you're here im happy 
lately ive been having 
the worst days of my life
wishing you would call back
ive been saying too bad
maybe get a notepad read my mind
i wanna be happy
you know ive been having the worst days of my life

the worst days of my life (feat. blankts)[prod. cian p]

is any of this real it still hasnt set in
all the pain ive ever felt started spreading
im afraid of it coming down any second
and I think i did it myself with your hands
is any of this real it still hasnt set in
all the pain ive ever felt started spreading
im afraid of it coming down any second
and I think its all over now death dancing

reflections from the floor
color on the pavement
light leaking out
stare at shadows following me
i know that its my fault
reminded every day
dont wanna do this anymore and its so hard lately
id say i fucked it up if i had control
born in a body nobody would love
and  i cant make you care
i just really thought you did
after all these years you left in 30 seconds

is any of this real it still hasnt set in
all the pain ive ever felt started spreading
im afraid of it coming down any second
and I think i did it myself with your hands
is any of this real it still hasnt set in
all the pain ive ever felt started spreading
im afraid of it coming down any second
and I think its all over now death dancing

all at once (prod. cian p)

so much to say
you don’t wanna hear it
is something wrong with me
is it my appearance
are you listening or could you care less
its hard to believe you didn’t mean to do this
I’ve got so much to say
you don’t wanna hear it
is something wrong with me
is it my appearance
is it inside of me
tell me sincerely
i know its underneath
and nobody hears me
I’ve got so much to say
you don’t wanna hear it
I’m calling out your name but theres interference
i don’t wanna leave but i can’t stay here
its getting so hard to breathe when you’re nowhere near

what do you take me for
wear it on my head
curl the cord where it connects
hold it forward along my neck
leaning towards whats for the best
what do you take me for
while I hang my head
and are you sure you’re alright with this
I am more than you’d expect
bury me where you see fit

redux (prod. slidinmoon)

art by ncg https://twitter.com/nocopyrightgirl

watching this pass by 
were all too tired
i’ll just stay inside
stomach tied like wires

i guess summers over  
pull me back to the fall
sink my head into the covers
laying up against the wall
watch them bleed into each other
every moment as they come
painted people blending colors
wish that i wasn’t one of them

i shouldve known 
i am a let down
always so close
trying to show how far ive come
all for nothing now

all that I know
i am a let down
im sorry don’t
think this is about you
i feel nothing now

letdown (feat. scarypoolparty)[prod. brody & curtains]

draco throat

old songs on soundcloud.com/alliknowispain

LIL NARNIA

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