This is the 3rd song I wrote during my songwriting course with Buck Meek. It was also the first time I have recorded multiple tracks and then put them all together (using Premiere Pro lol). The exercise we had to do to create this song was play a melody on the guitar, then just let mumbles and sounds come out until you arrive at a vocal melody that works. Then from the mumbles, try to come up with lyrics. This song is unfinished, I would like to add a chorus and maybe another verse. But here it is atm!

There's always sky behind the clouds
Even when it's only grey that's out
Watching it fade to black
Sometimes feels like the sun
Is never coming back
Come back

Now dark and dull and comfortable
Mind and body sucked into it all
You start to feel like it's normal
Not to see the sun
Come back

But just as nature does
The light returns up above
The heads of the people who
Panicked in the dusk
Full of worry
You need to trust to
Come back

Behind The Clouds (demo)

This is the 4th song I wrote as part of the songwriting course with Buck Meek. The exercise was to take a strumming pattern from a song we like and then use new chords & make it into a new song! I chose Capacity by Big Thief.
I got the name Annie from Adrianne Lenker haha (fangirl), but the song is really me singing to myself. I remember hearing her in an interview saying how a lot of the names in her songs are just different parts of herself - rather than various other people. I ran with this idea. It was great, I felt like I was communicating with myself in a way that I haven't experienced before.
This is my second attempt at recording separate tracks on my phone then mixing them in Premiere Pro haha!

Annie is more than her words,
More than her sounds,
Even when they're ringing out.
The darkness translucent,
Through glass walls she's built,
She wraps it in bundles 
And uses it to fill

Her thoughts with meaning,
Her mind is changing,
The words creating a place.
For those who love her,
Led to discover
The real expression on her face.

Annie steps down
From an all-smiling crown,
But when it's on,
There's more people around.
So when she's low,
She's got no place to go,
Far from home.

Her thoughts lose meaning,
Her mind is changing,
The words slipping from their place.
For those who love her,
She's undercover, 
Her real expression goes to waste.

Annie, please help me
To help you,
The way I used to,
Do you recognise yourself,
From just the shell?
Annie, I'm trying
To help you.

Annie breaks out
Of the noise dressed as doubt,
She knows to take the pinch
With a spoonful of salt.
So now she does
Know to question the buzz
In her head.

Her thoughts are meaning
That her mind is changing,
It all falling back into place.
For those who love her,
She's out from her cover,
Her true expression on her face.

She's back x 4
I wonder when she'll next go away.

For Annie (demo)

This is the final song I wrote as part of my Songwriting workshop with Buck Meek. It's been such an amazing 2.5 week journey!! I'm so excited to see where I go with my songwriting.
The prompt for this song was to mix time signatures. So, I altered a song of mine by making some lines 3/4.
I see some trance in you
it was cloaked, but now it's clothes are new,
it flows out your fingers and your body moves (3/4)
the trance runs through.

You're not dazed in the same way,
it's how you move, not in what you say
it's just now I see it I can't look away (3/4)
the trance is here to stay.

It didn't start with him,
it doesn't end with you,
the trance still trickles through,
the grasp is different,
makes you greener,
turns you red and warps your head (3/4)
one man's trance, is another's sleep.

But this time, he's awake,
just slight trembles, not complete earthquake,
not an icicle disguised as snowflakes (3/4)
what will you choose to break?

It didn't start with him,
it doesn't end with you,
the trance still trickles through,
the grasp is different,
makes you greener,
turns you red and warps your head (3/4)
one man's trance, is another's sleep,
I wish I could fall asleep.

This song is about a person reminding me of someone, but not in a good way haha.

Trance In You(demo)

Song 1 written for my School of Song, Songwriting workshop with Meg Duffy (Hand Habits). This one was about not being able to interpret men's intentions and how women often have to squash their feelings and stay 'polite' incase the men kick off. Based off a real experience. Here's the lyrics:

Eyes wide
no colour touched the sides
I knew he was approaching
He was snaking through
The crowd, the crowd, the music thick and loud
straight to my side.

Undertone of violence
Underneath hie eyelids
Onto my skin.

A fight that he started
I don't want to take part in
cause I'll never win.

I don't know how to judge this
I don't know how to judge this
Disregard my feelings
It's about his
Like it always is.

The energy is shifting
I try to keep on listening
To work out what he wants
I feel his hand lifting up to my neck
My neck, the place warmed by his breath
But I'm cold, I'm cold 
Cause he's twisted, drunk and old
But he'll try anyway
He'll try anyway
He'll try anyway
No matter what I say

I don't know how to judge this
I don't know how to judge this
Disregard my feelings
It's about his
That's the way it is.

Fragile, delicate
Your fragile, but I'm delicate
You call me what you want
But I've got to be the one
To rise above it,
I don't want to witness you flip.

I don't know how to judge this
I don't know how to judge this
Disregard my feelings
It's about his
It shouldn't be like this.

G-bar (demo)

Song #2 for my songwriting workshop with Meg Duffy (Hand Habits)

That time in the distance 
I got dressed, had a drink, sifted piles of things
Found everything we aspired to
That’a not true
I couldn’t find them without you, but

When I see you smile
When I see your smile
Only thing, only thing 
That makes it worthwhile
When I see you smile
But I also see you cry

You fall down, you fall down
I watch as you dig yourself into the ground
I know I’ve been down there with you
But I got out
Clawed my way out

If I can’t see you smile
If I can’t see you smile
There’s nothing and no one
To make it worthwhile
If I can’t see you smile
If I can’t see you smile
There’s nothing and no one
To make it worthwhile

This time in the distance
I’ll undress, stay thirsty, keep my eyes on nothing
Don’t want to find
Everything reminds me of you
Lets be somebody new

When I see you smile
You can see me smile
Separately, separately 
We can both smile

Separate Smile (demo)

This is probably one of my favourite songs that I have written so far

I always knew that we'd go separate ways
it was too hard to say
it was too hard to say

I always knew it would all fall away
it was too much to stay
it was too much to stay

I often found something else from the ground
You were looking for me
But can't see what I see

You have found someone else for you now
It's not too much for me
I can take what I see

You're tangled in a different length of string x 2

I don't even know you now
But I won't be someone else from the crowd
You were looking for me
But can't see what I see

Now you're tangled in a different length of string x 2

You were looking for me
But can't see what I see

Tangled (demo)

The biro on the postcard
So we could spot which one was ours
Lined up and surrounded
In the middle, at the side of a mountain

Our caravan
Our caravan
Our caravan where we stayed

The biro made the water flow
Out from eyes, into your side
I hid my face two feed above your waist
I couldn’t see the people standing there around us

In our caravan
Our caravan
Our caravan where we lay

Take me back to Martin
Take me back to Wales
Take me back to Manchester
I’m hiding in my trails

Cause I can feel it changing
But I know that it’s for good
Cause we’re no longer sleeping 
But I wish that we still could 

In our caravan
Our caravan
Our caravan where we made

Promises, flew away
Like time did with us that day
The seconds never would stay
Fearlessness, in the face
Of the mirror that was two way
Reflections always would change

In our caravan
Our caravan
Our caravan, now we stray

Take me back to Martin
Take me back to Wales
Take me back to Manchester
I’m hiding in my trails

Cause I can feel it changing
But I know that it’s for good
Cause we’re no longer sleeping 
But I wish that we still could 

In our caravan
Our caravan
Our caravan

Our Caravan (demo)

Probably the first happy song I have ever written!

You’re So Tall (demo)

You only had five years
Talking through pictures
Though you had so much to say
I don’t know why
But you only spoke that way
 
Oh Francesca
 
It’s all past her eyes
In pictures she captures
A moment in time
Though this angel’s fallen
She’s still gonna climb
The falling down factory
Becoming her shrine
 
Call me as soon as
You can. I am
Anxiously awaiting
Your reply
 
Waiting for the moment
You fall out the sky
 
I hope she’s listening
From wherever she floats
I see her pain
But she’s too young to go
 
 
This song is for the incredible photographer Francesca Woodman, who has been a huge inspiration to me.
 
The third verse is taken from Francesca Woodman’s Notebook, a piece of work that contains several of her photographs, each with part of a message written on them. The way she split up the words is replicated in this verse. I just LOVE the phrase ‘You can. I am’.

Francesca (demo)

Both Hands (demo)

sitting
on the chair next to mine
never facing
side by side
you help me draw the line
I help you close your eyes

mouthing
in the silent room again
not yet speaking
talking pens
you help me draw the line
I help you find the time

rolling
up the hill into Hyde
I can't win
so you go behind
you chase me as we ride
I take you in my stride

it's you
you and me
it's you and me
you and me

you help me draw the line
I help you find the time

You And Me (demo)

Skin to skin, limb to limb
even then, I can't take you all in
so I'll try holding you tight
making every part of your body touch mine

You're standing tall and free
but I can feel the way you're 
leaning back into me
so I'll take the weight, plant it to my feet

I can't get close enough to you
I can't get close enough to you 

If only there was a way to climb inside you
without causing any pain
my arm bend in your elbow
our kneecaps stacked like bowls
my head is like your pillow 
I'll look out through your nose
our pulses make a rhythm
my air goes through your lungs
inside your skin I'm hidden
and in my ears you'll hum

I can't get close enough to you
I can't get close enough to you

Skin to skin, limb to limb
even then, I can't take you all in
so I'll try holding you tight
making every part of your body touch mine

Close Enough (demo)

the lightswitch
the creaking door
the footsteps
I always know who they're for

I guess I've always known
cause I've always heard
the patchwork
the collage
the sounds of my home

tiptoe down the stairs
past mum and dad's room
but don't forget to skip that step
or they'll find out too soon

I guess I've always known
cause I've always found
the loud spots
the shoulder knots
on the sounds of my home

sounds like she's home
I heard the cellar door close
two minutes to put the bike away
and hang up her coat

I guess I've always known
cause I've always felt
the changes 
the rhythms
the sounds of my home

sounds of my home (demo)

Cross legged on the green chair
Looking out the window 
Green patches out there
Peaking through the melted snow
Blue blanket on the sofa
Has so many threads loose
When I flew back home
I knew that I’d miss you

Christmas tree’s glowing
12 days til February 
Though it’s still shining 
The room feels darker to me
Three remotes sitting
At three different angles
None of them facing the screen
The black they couldn’t handle 

Looking the other way now
Facing the rest of the room
Never really knew how 
To really understand you
‘The difference…’ I say now
‘Is that I really want to’
We’re further than we’ve ever been
But somehow I feel closer

green, blue, black (live demo)

I don’t know anymore, anymore 
You can tell me when you’ve changed, but I’ll close my eyes
You held me in your bedroom, hiding from the sun,
Tangled there beside me, were always on the run 

You never knew all along, all along 
I still saw what you framed, it hung on my wall,
Faces looking backwards, I could only see you eyes, 
Though you brought the tears, you held me when I cried

I see it all looking back, looking back 
Easy now I’ve grown flowers in every crack
Dying plant for two years, no water light or sun,
Easy mistake to make when you’re still so young

still so young (live demo)

Still getting sidetracked
can't see the main path
feet are still walking
mouth is still talking too

look at that leaf
why is it coloured like that?
look at those teeth
gotta love the gap

still getting sidetracked
will fix those jeans with a patch
but that was three months ago
still can't let it go

heads always thinking
eyes always blinking
mouths making noises
sounds colour the air
sending ripples through there

making this soundtrack
hoping for impact
won't reach an impasse

just listen closely
to all of the wiggles
forming their rhythms
the meaning's right there
for ears that care

still getting sidetracked
can't see the main path
feet are still walking
mouths don't do all the talking

Sidetracked (demo)

Garden

For my friend, Bill. 

Smiled before the film started 
Spoke after the credits 
All your books I’d heard about 
But hadn’t read yet 

There was an archive 
Your shelf was an archive 

Long chats in your kitchen 
Stacked between the boxes
Plastic films and music 
Your memories across it all 

There was an archive 
Your mind was an archive 

Two souls from separate times
Looking at each other 
Brainwaves crossed in lines
‘Til the ceiling was covered 

There was an archive 
Your house was an archive 

Walls dripping with damp 
Pipes not carrying the heat like they should 
Never gonna dry out 
Each day the water softens the wood

There was an archive 
Your body was an archive 

Now that body’s another form
Still your boxes line all the halls
Your stories
In our memories 
We’ll keep filed away 

There was an archive
Your life was an archive 

Lily CB

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