he said it, i'm too damaged

w/ @scapexgoat
prod: @splashgvng

i'm trying my best 
i swear i am 
tryna show you i need you 
i wanna hold your hand 
i've been hurt so fucking badly i forget who i am 
this was never part of the plan 
so can you promise you won't run from me 
cause i'm so scared i'm fucking shaking
it gets hard to breathe
n i'm not used to someone wanting me 
god, it feels so fucking comforting

so pour me a drink
and i'll sing you to sleep 
n he said it
i'm too damaged 
bleed through the bandages
i'm so gone, god
i wish i never met him
n just to go sleep
have to be off fucking sedatives
i'm so gone, god
i wish i never met him

[scapegoat] 
i was in the backseat 
looking at my phone
why you never text me
i feel so alone
i just wanted you to stay 
tell me when the fuck you're coming back
i know i'm so bad
hate to see you like that
tell me why the fuck it hurts so bad
i wish i could save you but i know i can't
how the fuck can i help you,
i can't help myself

bleed through the bandages (w/ scapegoat) (prod. splashgvng)

i would’ve left just the same as you 

@nevrfall

you hurt me in ways that you don’t even know 
n you’re never there when i need u the most
n you never care when i break n it shows 
don’t say that you’ll stay when i know that you’ll go

i jus keep getting fucking worse 
i’m moving backwards 
i’ll keep on breaking 
do your worst 
it doesn’t matter 
it’s funny that i need you
we won’t have an ever after 
say you love me while you’re fucking someone else,

how does that work
our love was filled with patchwork 
a fucked up worn out pattern 
n everything was shattered 
so tell me how does that work 
n i thought you were better 
but every night my chest hurts 
n i can’t take the pressure 
so tell me how does that work 

so what does it feel like 
to know that you’re always on my mind 
to know that i really broke this time 
to know that it’s fucked up my whole life 
i don’t know what to do 
know that i hate me too 
n i would’ve left 
just the same as you 
n i can’t sleep 
in this worn out room 
drink through the night 
till my heart turns blue 

oh well
it’s cold out here 
kinda feels like hell 
left me for dead
but i wish u well
say i’m alright 
but i can’t tell 
isn’t that what u want

how does that work (prod. nevrfall)

i fell in love and fell apart again

prod: https://soundcloud.com/afterlife66

(after everything, the last thing i thought i'd hear was i love you
but, i guess it never mattered to you like it did to me,
i'm sorry)

i'm the worst 
and god i know that
cause by now i realize
the reason it all ends bad
cause i keep breaking 
and you couldn't take it 
so i just lay down in my bed
and dream we made it

and there's so much more that i had planned
and now i sit alone with shakey hands
disregard all the blood i bled,
i wish that you were here instead
i thought that you'd be here to hold me
i remember all the words you told me 
you'd never leave like this 
i couldn't prepare for all the things i'd miss

the medicine, my lungs turned black
eight letters i won't hear back 
couple pills, i can't relax
it's so fun when shit gets bad

the medicine, my lungs turned black
eight letters i won't hear back 
couple pills, i can't relax
it's so fun when shit gets bad

medicine, my lungs turned black
i know you're not too sad
left a knife in my back 
i ruined everything we had 

i'd run away before you don't want to
if i get close i know that i'll hurt you 
run away before you don't want to 
if i get close i know that i'll
hurt you 

okay, alright 
i like when i feel numb,
i don't know what to feel like
okay, alright 
i'll fool myself into every pretty lie

i don't wanna fall in love and fall apart again
i don't know if i'm okay enough 
so i keep taking medicine 
to give my head a rest 
but what did i expect
(what did i expect)

and someday soon
your eyes will light up the whole damn room 
when you mention someone else
like they did,
when i was your everything 

i fell in love and fell apart again 
i can't keep taking medicine 
to give my head a rest 
but what did i expect

medicine, pt. 2 (prod. afterlife)

i hope you feel that back

prod: @jolst @afterlife66

i'm in a house made of cards
and it's falling
n i just break down 
seeing stars when i'm off it
don't say you'll come back
it's all the same 
i don't want it
cause i'll just bleed out
leaving stains on the carpet

don't bother calling
too busy balling
don't say you need those things you said you never wanted
i'm tryna be someone
i'm making moves, i'm gone
i had to go out to la so i could play that part
i hope you're doing better without me 
i hope you're telling your friends i was never making you happy
i hope you wake up sad
i hope you break down bad 
cause in the end you never cared,
i hope you feel that back

n you know just what to do 
move on to something new
i know you're good at that 
don't feel a thing i'm glad
cause for a minute i was thinking you would come right back

but you're so innocent,
you're so innocent,
you're so innocent,
you're so innocent

house of cards (prod. jolst & afterlife)

love i'm sorry 
god knows i tried 
i know you see through 
the wall in my eyes 
it's all i had left
so say what you mean 
don't worry about me, 
cause it only hurts a bit more through a screen
and i
love 
you

so please don't go 
cause i never could 
turn off my phone,
be perfectly fine tryna sleep on my own 
n i
need
you 
when i fall through 

so take what you want 
i'll try my best to replace it 
and even if it means breaking 
put the barrel back on my tongue 
i never wanted to feel so alone 
but i "felt so much better"
cause you were my home 
i guess that i shouldn't have 
given all of the things that i'll never get back
four in the morning i stare at my ceiling 
and wonder why the pale white wall 
looks so appealing to me 
asking why my eyes always look so sad 
guess it's what's left of the the things i had 

i never wanted to feel so alone
but i felt so much better 
cause i loved you
guess it's what's left of the things i have 
i guess that i shouldn't have 
i guess that i shouldn't have 
given all of the things that i'll never get back

all of the things that i'll never get back (prod. afterlife)

oh well, whatever
i hope he's cool 
gives you everything you wanted
like i did for you
and it never even mattered
i guess i was a fool 
lost control of my heart 
tryna give it all to you

and i never meant anything to you, 
i guess
i'm glad found someone that you can love instead
i hope you tell him that 
say it with your chest 
cause it's all i ever wanted to hear
i tried my best
feeling everything,
i wish i was wasn't used to that
losing everything, 
i wish i wasn't good at that 
i can't understand
wish that you would tell me how 
to be okay with this 
i can't even save myself 

(vito)
it cuts deep 
through silk sheets 
where i sleep 
god damn,
you love watching me bleed
that's karma
i've had it coming
enough trauma for you to want me 
you can't even tell when i'm gone 
your life is still moving on 
maybe i'm coming off strong 
but i've been hurt for so long 
and still the worst is yet to come
i should've knew it all along 
i flew too close and in the sun 
lost everyone i ever loved

oh well, whatever (w/ vito) (prod. jolst)

prod: @jolst @irby314
master: https://soundcloud.com/caustyk

i wish that i wasn't wrong


i wish i never called back 
you said
you couldn't tell me that you loved me 
no stress
i hope he treats you better 
than i ever did 
i always break when it ends 
wish you weren't more than a friend
cause i tried so hard
for this
i never thought you'd be gone 
cause i saw stars when we kissed
and it hurt for so long 
again
i never thought you'd be gone
i wish that i wasn't wrong

n i tried too hard 
i guess
i just wanna feel wanted 
and end up hurt in the end
n i should know by now 
that i'm not worth that text
if i was better then maybe 
i'll say it's love when it's sex
n you can fuck me up n i'll stay 
i've learned it's better that way 
i can convince myself that you care when i break
and when your eyes turn to grey 
and all the lies sound the same
i'll know you're leaving for certain 
i've learned the signs of my burden

n i'll ignore it 
like windows down when it's pouring 
i must like hurting myself,
i always know where it's going
n i don't know why i do that 
i wanted love, 
i can say that

i wish that i wasn't wrong this time 
i wish you would've been here 
i wish that i could tell you
i quit smoking cigarettes 
i got stuck on the sentiment 
couldn't look at our necklace 
and i cried getting rid of it
i heard that song
i played it all
wanted to tell you it hurt 
when you missed those calls 
took that trip back home
wanted to see my mom 
n it's been cold in los angeles 
wish we made it to fall
i still give you the benefit 
n honest i'm sick of it
you're not the person that i knew 
i don't know what you did with them
cause you got cold 
n time moved slow 
you left in july 
but i swear there was snow

i wish i never called back (prod. jolst & irby)

this time it won't fix

https://soundcloud.com/heylog
https://soundcloud.com/imcaves
https://soundcloud.com/irby314

you made me feel nauseous 
i keep getting sick
can't remember where it started 
can't forget all that you did to me
you tasted so bittersweet 
i still see you every time i sleep
i gave you every part of me 
i bet you couldn't tell
i fall in love with narcissists,
don't care about myself
i just go through sedatives
keep fucking up my health 
what's the point of heaven,
i already live in hell

it's not easier 
i'll lie and say it is 
i gave up on getting better 
it's just the way it is
i've been feeling numb ever since i was a kid 
i don't wanna die,
but i don't wanna try and live

i said that i loved you 
(save me)
i gave you the blood from my skin
i tried everything
admit it
it's hard but i did it
you left me too damaged 
this time it won't fix

[heylog]
i'm calling for you 
are you with someone else
the pics on my phone
are nowhere to be found 
would it surprise you 
if i took myself
i might just die here
when no ones around
but i made a choice 
that i regret 
stomp out the house
from what i said
and now it's too late to apologize
fumbled my words,
i guess this is goodbye 

i wish i did better 
thinking all the time 
baby it's whatever
see you in the next life
i'm trying to forget her 
but god it feels impossible
now she's just a number 
floating in my phone
i wish i did better 
thinking all the time 
i don't make any sense
and it makes me wanna cry 
but i look like im stupid
and she say that it's fine 
girl you're pretty funny 
tell another lie

it's not getting easier (w/ heylog) (prod. caves & irby)

i just wanted to write a love song 

prod: https://soundcloud.com/pekarot_161
master: https://soundcloud.com/onlyfriendyeah

heavenly,
i hope you don't mind
formality apology,
i guess it never hurt you to lie
when you took that from me 
i felt nothing 
shaking aside
butchered up the rosary,
i prayed i could die
but you wanted to 
i said i'd be good for you 
shut my mouth for you 
and prayed it'd be over soon

i just wanted to write a love song 
story book ending 
block it all out 
i'm so good at pretending
they said it takes time
but i'm still stuck with the memory

it's probably my fault 
i must've asked for it 
payed for my sins
spilled out blood to the hyms
but i swear i felt heaven when i'm laying with him

i'm fooling myself 
it was never that fun 
it's easy to romanticize 
i fell for that once,
or twice
i'm losing the count of goodbyes
hoping one day i'd be enough in your eyes

where's the love in this 
hate the bruises on my lips
search for betterment 
and comfort in impermanence
you took it out of me 
i gave it all up
cause it's better to feel nothing
than to hurt when it's done

comfort in impermanence (prod. pekarot)

i hope you think of me 

prod: https://soundcloud.com/trplgmni
master: https://soundcloud.com/ripkais

striaght through the bottle 
blacked out
it's nice to not remember
straight through tomorrow 
tapped out 
i think i'll feel it forever
i know i'll do it again 
escape till it ends
i wanna leave it all behind 
i wanna make you proud 
safe and sound 
pray i'll be alright

i just can't take anymore 
i've said that before
there's nothing left of me 
i watched you walk out the door 
va mon amour 
i hope you think of me
(i hope you think of me forever)

i can't do this sober 
(i'm leaking blood all over)
i can't do it at all
come on,
pull me closer
(i'm leaking blood all over)

hear me out 
i'm breaking down 
lost control and i need you now
this is what i've been waiting for,
prove to me that i loved you more
i'm so used to all the bandages 
but i know you couldn't manage it i,
hope you find heaven in him

there's nothing left of me

there's nothing left of me (prod. triple gemini)

i wanna write your favorite song

w/ https://soundcloud.com/vito2300
prod: https://soundcloud.com/jolst

this shit keeps breaking my heart
i can't sleep at all
i wanna write your favorite song
i wanna hear you talk 
just fuck it all 
just cut me off
and i'd do anything 
come close,
don't let me breathe
i need you next to me
hands cold till you make me freeze

vito: 
cuts deep but i'm not afraid of it
your touch for a long time was my form of payment
but i couldn't find the words
after all you're not shit
now i been feeling sick to my stomach,
you left me nauseous
don't call me back 
you'll be better off
need someone to tell me i'm good enough
carry that shit and believe it
look at the way i've been treated 
it's black white like old cartoons 
it's not fair that i lost you
and it's not fair that i'm still here 
and you've got somebody beside you

i wanna give it all up 
i've been thinking heavy
if it hurts it's not love
i don't understand 
cause i'm so used to leaking my blood
hate the way it is
but i can't ever get enough of you
i got myself into a mess
don't think you want me too
didn't mean a thing 
you were here in my room
c'mon cut me through 
rip through a vein or two 
want you to make a move

cut me off (w/ vito) (prod. jolst)

i'd give it all to give it up

prod: https://soundcloud.com/nate2timezz https://soundcloud.com/lildriplildrip
master: https://soundcloud.com/onlyfriendyeah

sometimes i wish i went to college
and only ever dreamed bout the shit that i started 
getting sick of my apartment 
something’s wrong with my head 
but i just don’t know what to call it 
telling myself it’s fine 
it’s what you dreamed of
the city of angels where devils meet up
i don’t leave my room 
it’s hard to speak up
when everyone around me thinks I’m no one

i wanna dream on 
i told i my mom that i would make it 
gotta keep on 

i’m super paranoid 
i wanna make em all proud 
but i keep falling down
i never had a choice
i wanna make em scream it back to me 
and hear the noise

testing my patience 
can’t even get out of my bed 
i’m fucking breaking 
don’t know what day it is 
i’d give it all to give it up
i’m way too anxious 

i’m never breathing right 
i gotta drink until i’m spinning 
just to sleep at night
i need him by my side 
i get so scared to be alone
that i start shaking i,
wish i went to college
i wish i had a nine to five
i can’t see the finish line
i do this every time

sometimes i wish i went to college

sometimes i wish i went to college (prod. nate2timez & lil drip)

staring at me 

prod: https://soundcloud.com/splashgvng
master: https://soundcloud.com/onlyfriendyeah
sitting with you 
in my small bedroom 
head on your shoulder 
didn’t care he was older
i knew 
it hurt too 
we kept on

and he smelled like cigarettes 
said i taste like medicine 
and we talked like newlyweds 
till i forgot we’d barely met

green eyes
staring at me 
and i cried
screaming at you
not to leave

off of them drugs 
quick new fucks 
paying my consequence for falling in love
you said that we could be friends 
you said that we would be fine if it ends 
own all the shit that you said 
tell me you’re sorry you left 
still scraping blood off the bed 
still seeing red on the white walls 
still breaking down when my mom calls

green

green (prod. splashgvng)

you promised

prod: https://soundcloud.com/sadboiforever https://soundcloud.com/jolst
master: https://soundcloud.com/vito2300

(mother fucker you promised
how could you do me like that, do me like that
pick apart my bones
you left me starving 
i can't even feel bad, even feel bad
i'm a perfect target)

mother fucker you promised
how could you do me like that
why'd you act so heartless
pick apart my bones
you left me starving 
i fell in love so fast
bet i looked so harmless
i'm a perfect target 

pointing out the obvious babe
i think something's wrong with my brain 
pray for love,
abandon my faith 
i know nothing turns out okay

i don't wanna think about it 
that knife pressed right on my lips
and if we're so covered in sin 
even god can't fix what you did

spotify

perfect target (prod. 2001 & jolst)

i was never the same

prod: michael harrison, aidan han, and max vossberg
master: @onlyfriendyeah

you said my eyes looked pretty
and wiped the tears from my face 
you told me that you're leaving
but it'll all be okay
and i was never the same
you didn't have to go 
why'd you leave me alone

i bet you're sick of playing innocent
aren't you?
you were happy tearing ligaments
weren't you?
i was always the participant 
for you to see just how bad it gets

and really baby you're a monster
and when i saw you by the water
i should've known i was a goner
but i took everything you offered

and really baby you're a monster
i was in love with that

you were on me fucking every night
sweating through the signs
you look so good in white
we do this every time
so baby let me go
i'll see you after i die
the last light
will fucking let me know 
i wasted my whole life

and really baby you're a monster
and when i saw you by the water
i should've known i was a goner
but i took everything you offered

you were on me fucking every night
sweating through the signs 
you look so good in white
we do this every time
let me go
i'll see you after i die 
the last light 
will fucking let me know 
i wasted my whole life

i saw you by the water

promise you won't leave

prod: https://soundcloud.com/eric-godlow
master: https://soundcloud.com/vito2300

i got a bottle in my hand right now
i still think i'll make it out somehow
it goes down
inside our house
but i don't really wanna fight right now
i know i'm always on the road right now
it's too loud
inside our house

making sure my heart beats
slow 
the minute i let go 
it'll turn my heart cold
so put your arms around me 
and please don't let go 
until my eyes close 
baby look look at the snow 
and promise you won't leave

i think i broke this time
a little too much for you to come n fix
i think i fucked it up this time
but it's all my fault i did 

i heard you were on the phone 
that one painful look in your eyes
you were telling your mom it's been hard
but he always get's better
he said it'd be fine
i've been relapsing in my dreams 
take a minute to guess what that means
curl up n shake under covers
making sure my heart beats

video out now

the minute i let go (prod. eric godlow)

i want you to see me like i'm nothing more than flesh 

w/ @heylog

prod: https://soundcloud.com/eric-godlow
master: https://soundcloud.com/ezraspandora 

looking back baby,
i already was hollow
toss it back 
way too fast 
till i get through the bottle
i don't wanna leave this club
i just wanna drink 
until i throw it all up
(lock me up)
want you to squeeze until i'm leaking out blood
i wanna see just how it feels to go numb
i wanna feel it on the tip of my tongue
let's fuck it up until we're going out bad 
let's break it all apart until there's nothing fucking left
cause i want you to see me like i'm nothing more than flesh 
and i want you to tell me i'm a waste of fucking breath
oh i'm terrible 
i'm the reason you're falling 
unbearable 
i'm the bones in your closet
i still just wanna see you get out 
there's nothing left for me to be now

damn it all 
pray for what 
there's nobody there
(i'm too far gone)
tell me why 
i wanted you then 
i want you now

heylog:
i'm chillin at a party, why'd i decide to go out
wish i just stayed home but i been stuck inside my house
i don't even care, i'd much rather be sober
she hung around the bottles and i could tell it broke her
i'm glad i can't relate cause i've never had that problem
you told me i'm rude for that but hey, i'm being honest
i would never lie to you, just want you to stop it
i could up and go, i've got plenty of options
quit talking, ur just holding me back
it's safe to say, tonight ur getting trashed
take a second to breathe, ik ur sad
you don't have to drink it away, could you relax
she phones her girls for a ride at 3am
can't even walk to her room, she needs a hand
throwing up all the time, she's used to it
friday night rolls around and repeat it

tip of my tongue (w/ heylog) (prod. eric godlow)

look what you've done to me

prod. acey
master: @vito2300

sometimes i don't know who i am
look in the mirror
i don't see me there
that's a monster
and he looks somber
but he just killed a man

well lesson learned
i won't get my hopes up
i won't care if you show up
show up
won't be here when the sun comes
the sun comes out

sobered up
missing the way out
locked in
i need to calm down
i can't calm down
in a cold house
i hear every sound

if i was perfect why were you fucking him
tell me what he had i couldn't do better than
n i saw it
you're sobbing
i put the knife in him

i'm numb to the bloodshed
good at destroying
and i'm home when
i'm hearing voices
and in the morning
i'll be what you need
look what you've done to me
look what you've done to me
look what you've done to me

i've had enough for now

home

home (prod. acey)

standing at your doormat (ft. yung axstn) (prod. northeast lights X odece)

another sad love song (prod. 2001)

big shoutout powfu and remghost for making this with me <3 https://soundcloud.com/powfu
@remghost
coverart by @seejayxo

fall in love (w/ powfu) (prod. remghost)

master: @trechorboy

lyrics:
so don't look at me i'm a no show 
was feeling bad now it's more so
feeling real low think my heart broke
laying alone it gets too cold
don't think it's good for my mind no
i know you're good on your own though
but i keep on staring at photos
i keep on staring at photos, at photos
(x2)

took you off my lock screen yesterday
said you'd never leave and now you've gone away
and after all this time, still don't know what to say
don't know how much longer i'll keep running away
it's getting harder to sleep now
wake up in a sweat i still see you in my dreams now
don't know how to feel now
cause i thought you'd be right here and now you're not around

so don't look at me i'm a no show 
was feeling bad now it's more so
feeling real low think my heart broke
laying alone it gets too cold
don't think it's good for my mind no
i know you're good on your own though
but i keep on staring at photos
i keep on staring at photos, at photos
(x2)

i keep on staring at photos (prod. 2001)

i wish that i was good at saying goodbyes.

prod: @caspr
ty to promnight for the photo <3


lyrics:
i don't really need no love
i tell myself
but there's a part of me that's gone and i can tell
u don't really need me 
u never did 
i was just somebody that u used for a bit
fuck me up but i'd still take u right back 
it's funny how i hurt myself and i never react
i couldn't find my peace even if i had a map 
i fall in love n fall apart it's pretty sad

is it ok if i can't act right?
i've been trying to move on it's been a hard time
so many nights i lay in bed with my chest tight 
i wish that i was good at saying goodbyes

i've been waiting on a text that i'll never get 
and if im being honest baby i'm a mess
u wrote me a eulogy with all ur words that i won't forget
i don't think i'll get over all the scars u left

goodbyes. (prod. caspr)

i wouldn't wanna miss this 
5/27

big thank u to these folks!!
blackwinterwells: https://soundcloud.com/blackwinterwells
caspr: https://soundcloud.com/caspr
saint tomorrow: https://soundcloud.com/user-182805726
mastered by frvr&alwys: https://soundcloud.com/frvrndalwys

[lyrics]
skele:
up late
it's all the same
i might pop a blue just to get me through the pain
it's hard to say 
im ok
when every night i have to lay awake
and am i doing better or am i getting really used to it?
i get so fucked i can't even tell the difference
laying on my floor just to ponder my existence
but i wouldn't wanna miss this

i've been thinking about those nights in my bedroom
i've been missing your tattoo
kiss my neck like a taboo
you're always down in a bad mood
always sucked thinking back too 
i really thought that i had you
didn't think you would fall through

i get so fucked i can't even tell the difference 

blackwinterwells:
you know that etching we made is still on the sidewalk
breaking down come on baby where did it go wrong
i dont see no one else stuck here writing love songs
wish i had you to distract me from all my damn flaws 

i just need a break from this i need time to heal
twisting evil alchemy to break down my shield
and now you know you've hurt me so you have no excuse
im leaving now for certain, time's up, you lose

and everytime i feel like my hearts about to break
you just pull me right back in, even though your love is fake
im so tired, of hurting over
people who dont like me

but still everytime you smile i think everythings okay
like im walking on thin air, and forgetting all the pain
and i miss you, for some reason
after all the times you hurt me

skele:
i've been thinking about those nights in my bedroom
i've been missing your tattoo
kiss my neck like a taboo
you're always down in a bad mood
always sucked thinking back too 
i really thought that i had you
didn't think you would fall through

i get so fucked i can't even tell the difference

i wouldn't wanna miss this

taboo (w/ blackwinterwells) (prod. caspr & saint tomorrow)

give me 5 more minutes

prod: https://soundcloud.com/irby314

lyrics:
i know that you wont hear this
so i can be as honest as i want
isnt that fun
ive been wondering how it feels to stare down the barrel of a gun
so give me 5 more minutes
so i can clear my head up
so i can dry my eyes, love
i know that u wont get it 
but i think its time i said it 

i still care, but i know that i shouldnt
i cant help but wonder 
i hope your not hurting 
im getting used to my burdens
i know u wont hear this
my mind isnt working

my mind isnt working 

i still care
i hope u know that u can talk to me 
even tho your words cut me to the artery
i hope u know that i dont hate u 
even tho i really fucking want to 
so when its late and im feeling low
replacing air with chemicals 
i tend to forget what im holding on for
and nothing feels real
its so hard to forget when i cant heal

i still care, but i know that i shouldnt
i cant help but wonder 
i hope your not hurting 
im getting used to my burdens
i know u wont hear this
my mind isnt working

i still care, but i know that i shouldn't (prod. irby)

but what did i expect

prod: https://soundcloud.com/caspr
artwork by: https://soundcloud.com/caustyk



i don’t wanna fall in love 
and fall apart again 
idk if i’m ok enough so i keep taking medicine 
to give my head a rest 
but what did i expect 

i said i’d give him everything but everything meant nothing 
but i still stayed so i could feel i’m holding on to something 
n i feel like a burnout 
lie n say that i’m better on my own now 

ok 
alright 
i’m starting to feel nothing when i lay awake at night 
ok 
alright 
i’ll fool myself with every other lie 

i still think of every word you said to me 
trying to ease the memory by drowning it in nicotine 
i swear to fucking god that one day you’ll be dead to me
but right now just to hear your voice i swear that i’d do anything

medicine (prod. caspr)

you don't gotta worry about me 

https://soundcloud.com/crackxlizard
https://soundcloud.com/caspr

i just wish that you'd talk like you used to
is it too much to wish that you want me too
is it too much to wish that you'd follow through 
and it kills me 
i just wanna see you in the morning 
i keep feeling down, and i'm sorry
i just keep breaking, you don't gotta worry 

no you don't gotta worry about me 
you don't gotta worry about me 

oh oh
baby don't go 
i just wish that you wanted me a little more
oh oh 
baby don't go
i just that you wanted to hold to hold me close

breaking (prod. cracklizard x caspr)

thank you for listening 
<3
@jolst


 i just wish you were here 
holding me 
cause my thoughts hurt less 
when you lay next to me 
but u don’t care at all
blame it on the alcohol
is there something there that i can’t see 
how the fuck am i supposed to breathe 
like oh
it’s okay if you wanna let go 
i know you probably need a little more 
i just miss when you were close
i know how this shit go
fall apart when it gets cold 
n i start to get feel real low 
know you’ll leave me when it snows 

when it snows 
iced out had to put on a coat 
neck cold but my hearts on froze 
fucked up i can’t do this alone 
baby why u gotta do me like that 
n still ask why my songs so sad 
everyday gotta put on a mask 
happy eyes with a knife in my back 

i say i love you 
“i love you too” 
most days i can’t get enough of u
when you leave i feel it 
it’s hard to deal with 
the crushing weight of this lonely feeling
rain it trickles 
cry a little 
nothings real 
it’s so artificial 
“you’re too brittle”
how i am supposed to feel when you speak in riddles 

i know i’m cold sometimes 
but i could never lie to you
i always say i’m fine 
i really don’t know what to do
i need you a little too much 
i’m scared that i’m never enough 
when you get distant it feels like i probably fucked up
get a little too scared i don’t mean much

snow (prod. jolst)

thank you for listening 
<3
https://soundcloud.com/jolst
https://soundcloud.com/sadboiforever


it hurts me over n over again 
i think something’s wrong with my head
it’s easy to try and pretend 
but sometimes i’d rather be dead
i’m paranoid 
think you hate me 
shedding tears over our polaroids 
expectations on my chest, defenses i employ 

it’s okay, you can tell me i’m wasting your time
you don’t feel like you did and it’s fine 
you don’t miss me, it’s alright 
i get a bag n i spend it real quick 
i got some diamonds they dance on my wrist 
see me n public now they want a pic 
money can’t come much more easy than this 
every night i spent dreaming of shit 
every night i spent waiting for this 
i could lose it all
i don’t wanna fall 
i could pull the trigger 
paint the fucking wall

paranoid (prod. 2001 & jolst)

it gets hard to breathe
https://soundcloud.com/crackxlizard
https://soundcloud.com/hellahaunted
mastered by: https://soundcloud.com/trechorboy


so is he everything
wanna fall in love
get a wedding ring
taking back all the memories you got from me 
when i look at the past yeah, it gets hard to breathe
i bet he's giving you everything
it's killing me

wake up, i don't wanna wake up 
don't wanna live another day feeling the fake love
and they like wait up, i don't wanna wait up
i keep breaking apart
i'll take the pain, love

do you treat him like me now
say he's the worst now
sending heart eyes while he's falling asleep now

i don't wanna wait till i break down
haunt me like a ghost until i'm bringing the knife out

i bet he's giving you everything, it's killing me (prod. cracklizard & caspr)

i already tried my best, so why try again

prod: https://soundcloud.com/iofmusic

wake up
i can see my breath
cold hands
i can't feel my skin
shaking, body aching
pull me closer
breaking
i can't take anymore
this isn't the life that i wanna live
i already tried my best 
so why try again
is it over yet?
can i call it quits?
it's
seasonal depression
sick of everyone telling me it's a lesson
i should make more of my life 
cause "it's a blessing"
"and you'll be fine once you stop with all the stressing"
nobody understands
i can't get out my bed
i hate the helping hands
i've lost my fucking mind so don't you get it man?
they know nothing about me 
"he's just having a bad week"
it's lovely 

hide my problems in the alcohol 
drink myself away till i can't even feel a thing at all
i'm becoming just like you
it scares me to death,
i don't wanna but i have to

skele

Pinned to spotlight

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