please

he said it, i'm too damaged

w/ @scapexgoat
prod: @splashgvng

i'm trying my best 
i swear i am 
tryna show you i need you 
i wanna hold your hand 
i've been hurt so fucking badly i forget who i am 
this was never part of the plan 
so can you promise you won't run from me 
cause i'm so scared i'm fucking shaking
it gets hard to breathe
n i'm not used to someone wanting me 
god, it feels so fucking comforting

so pour me a drink
and i'll sing you to sleep 
n he said it
i'm too damaged 
bleed through the bandages
i'm so gone, god
i wish i never met him
n just to go sleep
have to be off fucking sedatives
i'm so gone, god
i wish i never met him

[scapegoat] 
i was in the backseat 
looking at my phone
why you never text me
i feel so alone
i just wanted you to stay 
tell me when the fuck you're coming back
i know i'm so bad
hate to see you like that
tell me why the fuck it hurts so bad
i wish i could save you but i know i can't
how the fuck can i help you,
i can't help myself

bleed through the bandages (w/ scapegoat) (prod. splashgvng)

i would’ve left just the same as you 

@nevrfall

you hurt me in ways that you don’t even know 
n you’re never there when i need u the most
n you never care when i break n it shows 
don’t say that you’ll stay when i know that you’ll go

i jus keep getting fucking worse 
i’m moving backwards 
i’ll keep on breaking 
do your worst 
it doesn’t matter 
it’s funny that i need you
we won’t have an ever after 
say you love me while you’re fucking someone else,

how does that work
our love was filled with patchwork 
a fucked up worn out pattern 
n everything was shattered 
so tell me how does that work 
n i thought you were better 
but every night my chest hurts 
n i can’t take the pressure 
so tell me how does that work 

so what does it feel like 
to know that you’re always on my mind 
to know that i really broke this time 
to know that it’s fucked up my whole life 
i don’t know what to do 
know that i hate me too 
n i would’ve left 
just the same as you 
n i can’t sleep 
in this worn out room 
drink through the night 
till my heart turns blue 

oh well
it’s cold out here 
kinda feels like hell 
left me for dead
but i wish u well
say i’m alright 
but i can’t tell 
isn’t that what u want

how does that work (prod. nevrfall)

i hope you feel that back

prod: @jolst @afterlife66

i'm in a house made of cards
and it's falling
n i just break down 
seeing stars when i'm off it
don't say you'll come back
it's all the same 
i don't want it
cause i'll just bleed out
leaving stains on the carpet

don't bother calling
too busy balling
don't say you need those things you said you never wanted
i'm tryna be someone
i'm making moves, i'm gone
i had to go out to la so i could play that part
i hope you're doing better without me 
i hope you're telling your friends i was never making you happy
i hope you wake up sad
i hope you break down bad 
cause in the end you never cared,
i hope you feel that back

n you know just what to do 
move on to something new
i know you're good at that 
don't feel a thing i'm glad
cause for a minute i was thinking you would come right back

but you're so innocent,
you're so innocent,
you're so innocent,
you're so innocent

house of cards (prod. jolst & afterlife)

oh well, whatever
i hope he's cool 
gives you everything you wanted
like i did for you
and it never even mattered
i guess i was a fool 
lost control of my heart 
tryna give it all to you

and i never meant anything to you, 
i guess
i'm glad found someone that you can love instead
i hope you tell him that 
say it with your chest 
cause it's all i ever wanted to hear
i tried my best
feeling everything,
i wish i was wasn't used to that
losing everything, 
i wish i wasn't good at that 
i can't understand
wish that you would tell me how 
to be okay with this 
i can't even save myself 

(vito)
it cuts deep 
through silk sheets 
where i sleep 
god damn,
you love watching me bleed
that's karma
i've had it coming
enough trauma for you to want me 
you can't even tell when i'm gone 
your life is still moving on 
maybe i'm coming off strong 
but i've been hurt for so long 
and still the worst is yet to come
i should've knew it all along 
i flew too close and in the sun 
lost everyone i ever loved

oh well, whatever (w/ vito) (prod. jolst)

prod: @jolst @irby314
master: https://soundcloud.com/caustyk

i wish that i wasn't wrong


i wish i never called back 
you said
you couldn't tell me that you loved me 
no stress
i hope he treats you better 
than i ever did 
i always break when it ends 
wish you weren't more than a friend
cause i tried so hard
for this
i never thought you'd be gone 
cause i saw stars when we kissed
and it hurt for so long 
again
i never thought you'd be gone
i wish that i wasn't wrong

n i tried too hard 
i guess
i just wanna feel wanted 
and end up hurt in the end
n i should know by now 
that i'm not worth that text
if i was better then maybe 
i'll say it's love when it's sex
n you can fuck me up n i'll stay 
i've learned it's better that way 
i can convince myself that you care when i break
and when your eyes turn to grey 
and all the lies sound the same
i'll know you're leaving for certain 
i've learned the signs of my burden

n i'll ignore it 
like windows down when it's pouring 
i must like hurting myself,
i always know where it's going
n i don't know why i do that 
i wanted love, 
i can say that

i wish that i wasn't wrong this time 
i wish you would've been here 
i wish that i could tell you
i quit smoking cigarettes 
i got stuck on the sentiment 
couldn't look at our necklace 
and i cried getting rid of it
i heard that song
i played it all
wanted to tell you it hurt 
when you missed those calls 
took that trip back home
wanted to see my mom 
n it's been cold in los angeles 
wish we made it to fall
i still give you the benefit 
n honest i'm sick of it
you're not the person that i knew 
i don't know what you did with them
cause you got cold 
n time moved slow 
you left in july 
but i swear there was snow

i wish i never called back (prod. jolst & irby)

this time it won't fix

https://soundcloud.com/heylog
https://soundcloud.com/imcaves
https://soundcloud.com/irby314

you made me feel nauseous 
i keep getting sick
can't remember where it started 
can't forget all that you did to me
you tasted so bittersweet 
i still see you every time i sleep
i gave you every part of me 
i bet you couldn't tell
i fall in love with narcissists,
don't care about myself
i just go through sedatives
keep fucking up my health 
what's the point of heaven,
i already live in hell

it's not easier 
i'll lie and say it is 
i gave up on getting better 
it's just the way it is
i've been feeling numb ever since i was a kid 
i don't wanna die,
but i don't wanna try and live

i said that i loved you 
(save me)
i gave you the blood from my skin
i tried everything
admit it
it's hard but i did it
you left me too damaged 
this time it won't fix

[heylog]
i'm calling for you 
are you with someone else
the pics on my phone
are nowhere to be found 
would it surprise you 
if i took myself
i might just die here
when no ones around
but i made a choice 
that i regret 
stomp out the house
from what i said
and now it's too late to apologize
fumbled my words,
i guess this is goodbye 

i wish i did better 
thinking all the time 
baby it's whatever
see you in the next life
i'm trying to forget her 
but god it feels impossible
now she's just a number 
floating in my phone
i wish i did better 
thinking all the time 
i don't make any sense
and it makes me wanna cry 
but i look like im stupid
and she say that it's fine 
girl you're pretty funny 
tell another lie

it's not getting easier (w/ heylog) (prod. caves & irby)

i wanna write your favorite song

w/ https://soundcloud.com/vito2300
prod: https://soundcloud.com/jolst

this shit keeps breaking my heart
i can't sleep at all
i wanna write your favorite song
i wanna hear you talk 
just fuck it all 
just cut me off
and i'd do anything 
come close,
don't let me breathe
i need you next to me
hands cold till you make me freeze

vito: 
cuts deep but i'm not afraid of it
your touch for a long time was my form of payment
but i couldn't find the words
after all you're not shit
now i been feeling sick to my stomach,
you left me nauseous
don't call me back 
you'll be better off
need someone to tell me i'm good enough
carry that shit and believe it
look at the way i've been treated 
it's black white like old cartoons 
it's not fair that i lost you
and it's not fair that i'm still here 
and you've got somebody beside you

i wanna give it all up 
i've been thinking heavy
if it hurts it's not love
i don't understand 
cause i'm so used to leaking my blood
hate the way it is
but i can't ever get enough of you
i got myself into a mess
don't think you want me too
didn't mean a thing 
you were here in my room
c'mon cut me through 
rip through a vein or two 
want you to make a move

cut me off (w/ vito) (prod. jolst)

you promised

prod: https://soundcloud.com/sadboiforever https://soundcloud.com/jolst
master: https://soundcloud.com/vito2300

(mother fucker you promised
how could you do me like that, do me like that
pick apart my bones
you left me starving 
i can't even feel bad, even feel bad
i'm a perfect target)

mother fucker you promised
how could you do me like that
why'd you act so heartless
pick apart my bones
you left me starving 
i fell in love so fast
bet i looked so harmless
i'm a perfect target 

pointing out the obvious babe
i think something's wrong with my brain 
pray for love,
abandon my faith 
i know nothing turns out okay

i don't wanna think about it 
that knife pressed right on my lips
and if we're so covered in sin 
even god can't fix what you did

spotify

perfect target (prod. 2001 & jolst)

i was never the same

prod: michael harrison, aidan han, and max vossberg
master: @onlyfriendyeah

you said my eyes looked pretty
and wiped the tears from my face 
you told me that you're leaving
but it'll all be okay
and i was never the same
you didn't have to go 
why'd you leave me alone

i bet you're sick of playing innocent
aren't you?
you were happy tearing ligaments
weren't you?
i was always the participant 
for you to see just how bad it gets

and really baby you're a monster
and when i saw you by the water
i should've known i was a goner
but i took everything you offered

and really baby you're a monster
i was in love with that

you were on me fucking every night
sweating through the signs
you look so good in white
we do this every time
so baby let me go
i'll see you after i die
the last light
will fucking let me know 
i wasted my whole life

and really baby you're a monster
and when i saw you by the water
i should've known i was a goner
but i took everything you offered

you were on me fucking every night
sweating through the signs 
you look so good in white
we do this every time
let me go
i'll see you after i die 
the last light 
will fucking let me know 
i wasted my whole life

i saw you by the water

promise you won't leave

prod: https://soundcloud.com/eric-godlow
master: https://soundcloud.com/vito2300

i got a bottle in my hand right now
i still think i'll make it out somehow
it goes down
inside our house
but i don't really wanna fight right now
i know i'm always on the road right now
it's too loud
inside our house

making sure my heart beats
slow 
the minute i let go 
it'll turn my heart cold
so put your arms around me 
and please don't let go 
until my eyes close 
baby look look at the snow 
and promise you won't leave

i think i broke this time
a little too much for you to come n fix
i think i fucked it up this time
but it's all my fault i did 

i heard you were on the phone 
that one painful look in your eyes
you were telling your mom it's been hard
but he always get's better
he said it'd be fine
i've been relapsing in my dreams 
take a minute to guess what that means
curl up n shake under covers
making sure my heart beats

video out now

the minute i let go (prod. eric godlow)

i want you to see me like i'm nothing more than flesh 

w/ @heylog

prod: https://soundcloud.com/eric-godlow
master: https://soundcloud.com/ezraspandora 

looking back baby,
i already was hollow
toss it back 
way too fast 
till i get through the bottle
i don't wanna leave this club
i just wanna drink 
until i throw it all up
(lock me up)
want you to squeeze until i'm leaking out blood
i wanna see just how it feels to go numb
i wanna feel it on the tip of my tongue
let's fuck it up until we're going out bad 
let's break it all apart until there's nothing fucking left
cause i want you to see me like i'm nothing more than flesh 
and i want you to tell me i'm a waste of fucking breath
oh i'm terrible 
i'm the reason you're falling 
unbearable 
i'm the bones in your closet
i still just wanna see you get out 
there's nothing left for me to be now

damn it all 
pray for what 
there's nobody there
(i'm too far gone)
tell me why 
i wanted you then 
i want you now

heylog:
i'm chillin at a party, why'd i decide to go out
wish i just stayed home but i been stuck inside my house
i don't even care, i'd much rather be sober
she hung around the bottles and i could tell it broke her
i'm glad i can't relate cause i've never had that problem
you told me i'm rude for that but hey, i'm being honest
i would never lie to you, just want you to stop it
i could up and go, i've got plenty of options
quit talking, ur just holding me back
it's safe to say, tonight ur getting trashed
take a second to breathe, ik ur sad
you don't have to drink it away, could you relax
she phones her girls for a ride at 3am
can't even walk to her room, she needs a hand
throwing up all the time, she's used to it
friday night rolls around and repeat it

tip of my tongue (w/ heylog) (prod. eric godlow)

look what you've done to me

prod. acey
master: @vito2300

sometimes i don't know who i am
look in the mirror
i don't see me there
that's a monster
and he looks somber
but he just killed a man

well lesson learned
i won't get my hopes up
i won't care if you show up
show up
won't be here when the sun comes
the sun comes out

sobered up
missing the way out
locked in
i need to calm down
i can't calm down
in a cold house
i hear every sound

if i was perfect why were you fucking him
tell me what he had i couldn't do better than
n i saw it
you're sobbing
i put the knife in him

i'm numb to the bloodshed
good at destroying
and i'm home when
i'm hearing voices
and in the morning
i'll be what you need
look what you've done to me
look what you've done to me
look what you've done to me

i've had enough for now

home

home (prod. acey)

until i see the moon 

prod me 
master: @vito2300

so long 
i’ll wait right here for you 
until i see the moon 
i won’t move
i cried 
this happens every time 
tell me you’ll be alright 
make sure that you don’t die

i’ll stay right here
right by the phone 
until it comes clear 
until you come home 
and pin me right on the wall 
if that’s enough for you to stay here at all 
i’ll be good for you 
just like in that song 
that i wrote you last fall 

just give me like 
five more minutes 
baby and then i’ll be finished 
there’s no one to hold 
i miss you, it’s cold 

so long
i’ll wait right here for you 
until i see the moon 
i won’t move

cold

cold (prod. skele)

just to see you alive 

prod: @jolst
master: @vito2300

please don’t push me aside 
i’ve given my life up 
just to see you alive 
it’s everything i want 
to be good in your eyes 

it doesn’t really get better 
that’s the lesson i learned 
now i wait for the day 
that i turn one with the earth 

i just love to sit and watch it burnout 
i’ve been sleeping with the bodies in the fallout 
i know i’ll die if i ever let my guard down 
there’s a creature waiting by 
to take my heart out 

please don’t push me aside 
i’ve given my life up 
just to see you alive 
it’s everything i want 
to be good in your eyes 
(i’ve given my life up 
just to see you alive 
it’s everything i want 
it’s everything i)

tell me is it wrong 
i just love it how it hurts 
darling is it wrong 
how i'm wishing for the worst 
baby in the end i’m just a body 
did you know 
that you’ve been sleeping with a zombie?

aside

aside (prod. jolst)

just like you promised 

prod: https://soundcloud.com/youngburial https://soundcloud.com/anxietyattackss
master: @vito2300

put me through the pain 
just keep talking to me 
just like you promised 
i wanna watch while you leave 
put me through the shame 
all this crying to me 
won’t make you honest 
i can’t be what you need 

every night it’s silence 
i always dream i’m dying 
i wake up before the knife hits 
you used to hold me till my tears quit 
now you’re there watching as my skin rips 
helping hide the evidence 
cleaning up so elegant 
like it’s so lovely how your day went 

look in my eyes, for once 
i want you to tell me i’m never enough 
throw me on the bed so rough 
bite through my neck till i’m covered in blood 
want you to hold me down 
cover my mouth till i can’t make a sound 
want you to hold me tight 
and give me some scars to remember you by 

just keep talking to me 
just like you promised 
(just like you promised, you promised)
all this crying to me 
won’t make you honest
(you promised, you promised)

put me through the pain 
just keep talking to me 
just like you promised 
i wanna watch while you leave 
put me through the shame 
all this crying to me 
won’t make you honest 
i can’t be what you need

pain

pain (prod. fats'e & anxiety attacks!)

i'll make you my only purpose

prod. acey 
master: @vito2300

cut me open
let me feel you
ripping up my skin
i’m a masochist at best
i let you come right in 
pulling out my heart
(i let it happen)
lying in the dark
(i heard you laughing)
chain me up so tight 
that i can’t feel my wrists 
and let me stare at you 
in anguish 
losing oxygen 
i’ll treat you like a god 
just let me worship 
leaking blood out at the sermon 
put me down right on my knees
and i’ll be good for you for certain 
let me prove to you i’m worth it 
i’ll make you my only purpose 
i’ll be waiting till the winter ends 
just let me be of service 
look at me now 
i’m fucking collapsing 
i don’t wanna feel fucking anything 
every time i dream i’m fucking relapsing 
sipping it straight fucking kerosense 
look at me now 
i’m fucking collapsing 
i don’t wanna feel fucking anything 
every time i dream i’m fucking relapsing 
sipping it straight fucking kerosense 
(let me be that once, once
and let me feel your touch
and let me be your crutch, crutch
until you’ve had enough)

sermon

sermon (prod. acey)

there's no love in those eyes of yours

prod: acey & @vito2300
master: @vito2300 & https://soundcloud.com/diskrypt

can we talk for a second 
i can't breathe when i'm next to you
stop for a second 
reassess what's gotten into you
tell me why i'm looking at a monster
a monster
i feel like a lamb sent to the slaughter 
the slaughter 

i suppose it's unavoidable
you were sent to kill me off 
so make it horrible
want you to cut around my neck 
like i'm deplorable
and i'll sit pretty for you 
rotting under soil 
oh i just give it up right 
i'm so easy don't lie
there's no love in those eyes of yours
oh i'm just wasting my life 
and it's just about time 
i'm just waiting to die
for sure

don't wanna tell you that i like it 
all the blood's got me excited
and if you wanna put me down 
i wouldn't mind it
you can treat me like a dog 
i love the violence
you can tell me what to say 
and i'll recite it 

if i'm the puppet 
you're the hand 
so pull the strings up
do you what you want 
i'll understand 
you're such a demon
(x2)

if i'm the puppet
you're the hand 
so pull the strings up 
do what you want 
i'll understand
you're such a demon
it's so hard for me to talk 
i can't speak up
if i don't see you at the end 
i love you so much

puppet

puppet (prod. acey & vito)

pretend i'm somebody else 

prod: jewelryboy
master: @onlyfriendyeah

if we can't be good to ourselves 
(cut me out)
pretend i'm somebody else
(pull me down)
he wraps his hand 'round my belt
(slowly now)
i'll be your personal hell 
your hell 
your hell 

am i allowed to be this desperate 
it's not right
i just beg for your attention 
over ice 
give me just a little bit more 
and i'm finished
i can just pretend 
that i'm yours 
for a minute 
do i make you feel nice 
when i text for no reason 
you don't even reply
"night"
when i need it 
back and forth 
out the door 
no remorse
don't let go 
i'm so close 
my amour

close my eyes 
and pray that i get less attached 
i let you treat me so damn bad 
it's all i have
look me in my eyes 
baby make me melt 
all i ever do is fucking hurt myself 
look me in my eyes 
baby make me melt 
all i ever do is fucking hurt myself 

i'm so aware of it
i hit him up 
if he's a gun 
i'm fucking loading it
i always let him in 
i'm like a dog 
he says my name 
and i just run to him 
pour it up 
i wanna drink till i can't feel at all
in my defense 
i spent a year without the alcohol
i didn't feel much better
it just helped me remember
i'm still too hung up 
on what we did in december

i'm so sick of it 
i don't feel so well 
it's a swing n a miss 
sure you'll be back in a bit 
it's my personal hell 

if we can't be good to ourselves 
(cut me out)
pretend i'm somebody else
(pull me down)
he wraps his hand 'round my belt
(slowly now)
i'll be your personal hell 
your hell 
your hell

personal hell

hold me like this one will be the last time 

prod: michael harrison and gavin hadley 
master: @onlyfriendyeah

i took a trip out to vegas 
and you had lost your wallet 
i think we both tried to save it 
i think i knew i can't stop it 
cause baby we were breaking 
so many cracks spread without 
and by the time that it had split 
we had planned out a house 

i can't love you enough 
i'll try my best till it's done
baby you're all that i want 
i wish you'd tell me that once

i'd give up everything i have to fix the things ruined
but i just can't make myself put my heart through it 

i don't want it to stop 
i can't feel it all 
i don't want you gone 
i ran right through the wall

tell me everything
you want it too
i can't be your rendezvous
even if i tried 
i couldn't even if i wanted to
i always lose 
it's the truth 

i don't think that we can try again
now there's no me without you 
and baby i know that you lied again 
cause that's just what we do 
tell me that everything will be alright 
hold me like this one will be the last time 
kiss me so softly, i'll cry the whole night
grab on my body and look in my eyes 
look in my eyes

i can't love you enough 
i'll try my best till it's done 
(did i say too much, did i say too much?)
baby you're all that i want 
i wish you'd tell me that once

icantloveyouenough

say a prayer for me 

prod michael harrison 
master: @onlyfriendyeah

i wanna feel you as you climb underneath 
i can't move 
it's like i'm stuck to the sheets
i've been so bad
you say at last
i just wanna see you mad

oh i'm immature?
you are the reason i'm so fucked
you really speak the worst 
things to me 
shit that i didn't deserve

(if you want)
i'll take it off for you 
just tell me what to do

just wanna love you 'till it hurts
(is that bad?)
my baby put me through the worst
(is that so sad?)
so darling swing around the hearse 
oh, you know i'll let you kill me first 

black dress waiting for me
if i'm asleep
would you adore me?
if i was home 
would you hold me?
i could've swore 
that you once told me
oh,
i fucking swear i'm moving backwards now 
figure out 
what's left of me
i'm shaking 
can you hold me down 
i'm holding out
prayers up 
was the water over my head enough?
will i be saved
if i'm brave enough?
i would do it for us

(say a prayer for me)
say a prayer for me
stop and stare you see 
i'm right here on my knees
take it off for me 
hope that god don't see 
baby make me say please

prayer

i hope you're proud of yourself 

prod/master: @skinnyatlas

i don't think there's something wrong 
i love it when you bite my tongue
pull my skin apart, dismember 
put the pieces back together

gone, i can't bring you along
sing the words to a song 
that i wrote you in fall 
(baby now you're)
gone, you don't even call 
baby is that so hard 
do you care at all 
(baby, grab my)
grab my neck any harder you'd break me 
i love that sex where you say that you hate me
if i won't scream then you don't hear it 
if i don't bleed then i won't feel it

hide myself in isolation
don't come close love
i can't take it 
bind myself, there's no escaping
hold me down i just,
hope you're

proud of yourself 
told you once, but i'll see you in hell
all his sins 
think you've ruined yourself
all the things that you do to yourself 
cards that you've dealt
cut me down into submission 
carve me up 'till god can't fix it
not even saline could wash out the stitches 
i'm not worth saving, there's no need for wishes

hide

hide (w/ skinny atlas)

i can't look at you

prod: @irby314
master: https://soundcloud.com/diskrypt

another missed call
it's all that i wanted to see the leaves fall
please i'll 
be all alone 
and i'm not able
skin crawl 
i know what you want 
and that it's painful
tangled
it's not hard to see your angle
i see the cuts in this 
baby it's not picturesque
can't cover up the stich 
see the scars surround my chest
oh, i think i love you too much to be a good thing
don't think i trust you enough 
i get the feeling

this'll all be over soon
baby i can't look at you 
feel my skin turn pale and blue 
baby i can't look at you 
this'll all be over soon
baby i can't look at you 
feel my skin turn pale and blue 
baby i can't look at you

can't get out of what i started 
that's a problem
cause you like to lie regardless
if i'm honest
try,
keep me broken hearted
be your target
cry my dearly departed 
i'll be your last one

it goes on 
and on 
and on 
(i'll be whatever you want)
and on 
and on
and on
(until i beg you to stop)

i'll be whatever you want 
until you beg me to stop
no matter what the cost 
i think about it a lot
i'll be whoever you need
pretend i'm on tv
want you to stare at me 
want you to reach through the screen
i'll take it off for you,
regret it
a doll for you to mess with 
he told me have some respect for myself
didn't get the message 
pour it out, get me drunk
oh i'm and easy one to bed with
let me down, not enough 
oh i'm an easy one to end with 

this'll all be over soon
baby i can't look at you 
feel my skin turn pale and blue 
baby i can't look at you 
this'll all be over soon
baby i can't look at you 
feel my skin turn pale and blue 
baby i can't look at you

picturesque

big shoutout powfu and remghost for making this with me <3 https://soundcloud.com/powfu
@remghost
coverart by @seejayxo

fall in love (w/ powfu) (prod. remghost)

master: @trechorboy

lyrics:
so don't look at me i'm a no show 
was feeling bad now it's more so
feeling real low think my heart broke
laying alone it gets too cold
don't think it's good for my mind no
i know you're good on your own though
but i keep on staring at photos
i keep on staring at photos, at photos
(x2)

took you off my lock screen yesterday
said you'd never leave and now you've gone away
and after all this time, still don't know what to say
don't know how much longer i'll keep running away
it's getting harder to sleep now
wake up in a sweat i still see you in my dreams now
don't know how to feel now
cause i thought you'd be right here and now you're not around

so don't look at me i'm a no show 
was feeling bad now it's more so
feeling real low think my heart broke
laying alone it gets too cold
don't think it's good for my mind no
i know you're good on your own though
but i keep on staring at photos
i keep on staring at photos, at photos
(x2)

i keep on staring at photos (prod. 2001)

i wish that i was good at saying goodbyes.

prod: @caspr
ty to promnight for the photo <3


lyrics:
i don't really need no love
i tell myself
but there's a part of me that's gone and i can tell
u don't really need me 
u never did 
i was just somebody that u used for a bit
fuck me up but i'd still take u right back 
it's funny how i hurt myself and i never react
i couldn't find my peace even if i had a map 
i fall in love n fall apart it's pretty sad

is it ok if i can't act right?
i've been trying to move on it's been a hard time
so many nights i lay in bed with my chest tight 
i wish that i was good at saying goodbyes

i've been waiting on a text that i'll never get 
and if im being honest baby i'm a mess
u wrote me a eulogy with all ur words that i won't forget
i don't think i'll get over all the scars u left

goodbyes. (prod. caspr)

give me 5 more minutes

prod: https://soundcloud.com/irby314

lyrics:
i know that you wont hear this
so i can be as honest as i want
isnt that fun
ive been wondering how it feels to stare down the barrel of a gun
so give me 5 more minutes
so i can clear my head up
so i can dry my eyes, love
i know that u wont get it 
but i think its time i said it 

i still care, but i know that i shouldnt
i cant help but wonder 
i hope your not hurting 
im getting used to my burdens
i know u wont hear this
my mind isnt working

my mind isnt working 

i still care
i hope u know that u can talk to me 
even tho your words cut me to the artery
i hope u know that i dont hate u 
even tho i really fucking want to 
so when its late and im feeling low
replacing air with chemicals 
i tend to forget what im holding on for
and nothing feels real
its so hard to forget when i cant heal

i still care, but i know that i shouldnt
i cant help but wonder 
i hope your not hurting 
im getting used to my burdens
i know u wont hear this
my mind isnt working

i still care, but i know that i shouldn't (prod. irby)

but what did i expect

prod: https://soundcloud.com/caspr
artwork by: https://soundcloud.com/caustyk



i don’t wanna fall in love 
and fall apart again 
idk if i’m ok enough so i keep taking medicine 
to give my head a rest 
but what did i expect 

i said i’d give him everything but everything meant nothing 
but i still stayed so i could feel i’m holding on to something 
n i feel like a burnout 
lie n say that i’m better on my own now 

ok 
alright 
i’m starting to feel nothing when i lay awake at night 
ok 
alright 
i’ll fool myself with every other lie 

i still think of every word you said to me 
trying to ease the memory by drowning it in nicotine 
i swear to fucking god that one day you’ll be dead to me
but right now just to hear your voice i swear that i’d do anything

medicine (prod. caspr)

you don't gotta worry about me 

https://soundcloud.com/crackxlizard
https://soundcloud.com/caspr

i just wish that you'd talk like you used to
is it too much to wish that you want me too
is it too much to wish that you'd follow through 
and it kills me 
i just wanna see you in the morning 
i keep feeling down, and i'm sorry
i just keep breaking, you don't gotta worry 

no you don't gotta worry about me 
you don't gotta worry about me 

oh oh
baby don't go 
i just wish that you wanted me a little more
oh oh 
baby don't go
i just that you wanted to hold to hold me close

breaking (prod. cracklizard x caspr)

thank you for listening 
<3
@jolst


 i just wish you were here 
holding me 
cause my thoughts hurt less 
when you lay next to me 
but u don’t care at all
blame it on the alcohol
is there something there that i can’t see 
how the fuck am i supposed to breathe 
like oh
it’s okay if you wanna let go 
i know you probably need a little more 
i just miss when you were close
i know how this shit go
fall apart when it gets cold 
n i start to get feel real low 
know you’ll leave me when it snows 

when it snows 
iced out had to put on a coat 
neck cold but my hearts on froze 
fucked up i can’t do this alone 
baby why u gotta do me like that 
n still ask why my songs so sad 
everyday gotta put on a mask 
happy eyes with a knife in my back 

i say i love you 
“i love you too” 
most days i can’t get enough of u
when you leave i feel it 
it’s hard to deal with 
the crushing weight of this lonely feeling
rain it trickles 
cry a little 
nothings real 
it’s so artificial 
“you’re too brittle”
how i am supposed to feel when you speak in riddles 

i know i’m cold sometimes 
but i could never lie to you
i always say i’m fine 
i really don’t know what to do
i need you a little too much 
i’m scared that i’m never enough 
when you get distant it feels like i probably fucked up
get a little too scared i don’t mean much

snow (prod. jolst)

it gets hard to breathe
https://soundcloud.com/crackxlizard
https://soundcloud.com/hellahaunted
mastered by: https://soundcloud.com/trechorboy


so is he everything
wanna fall in love
get a wedding ring
taking back all the memories you got from me 
when i look at the past yeah, it gets hard to breathe
i bet he's giving you everything
it's killing me

wake up, i don't wanna wake up 
don't wanna live another day feeling the fake love
and they like wait up, i don't wanna wait up
i keep breaking apart
i'll take the pain, love

do you treat him like me now
say he's the worst now
sending heart eyes while he's falling asleep now

i don't wanna wait till i break down
haunt me like a ghost until i'm bringing the knife out

i bet he's giving you everything, it's killing me (prod. cracklizard & caspr)

i already tried my best, so why try again

prod: https://soundcloud.com/iofmusic

wake up
i can see my breath
cold hands
i can't feel my skin
shaking, body aching
pull me closer
breaking
i can't take anymore
this isn't the life that i wanna live
i already tried my best 
so why try again
is it over yet?
can i call it quits?
it's
seasonal depression
sick of everyone telling me it's a lesson
i should make more of my life 
cause "it's a blessing"
"and you'll be fine once you stop with all the stressing"
nobody understands
i can't get out my bed
i hate the helping hands
i've lost my fucking mind so don't you get it man?
they know nothing about me 
"he's just having a bad week"
it's lovely 

hide my problems in the alcohol 
drink myself away till i can't even feel a thing at all
i'm becoming just like you
it scares me to death,
i don't wanna but i have to

skele

Pinned to spotlight

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