prodbyscud
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sept30🎉:>

Go ahead

Lotus killed it , check out his music <3
https://m.soundcloud.com/lilxlotus/sets

'We may never meet again , but we'll never forget eachother' 

Artwork by @Evanxflow
Mixed and mastered by Ronnie Scocozza

@yungscuffonline - Getting Worse ft. Lil Lotus (Prod. Zippy)

MERCH:
https://lilxlotus.storenvy.com

Prod:
@jakemarkow
twitter.com/jakemarkow

Art:
twitter.com/disintegr8tion
www.instagram.com/filthy.hands/

MISSED UR CALL (Prod. JakeMarkow x Lil Lotus) MERCH DROP<3

produced by @ihateshinigami
engineered by heartbreak jake and shinigami
written and performed by macho randy and shinigami

I'm so sorry for what I did last night at that party with her :(

SHINIGAMI & MACHO RANDY "IDK why I'm like this"

follow me on twitter @jakkystealurgrl
prod/mix/master by meee

i’m blind 
why’d i get attached like last time 
she been on my brain now i’m tongue tied
ya i’m tongue tied
I don’t even really know why i go try ya
  
and i’m like why  
why is she still on my mind
tried to get her off my recent search but there she fuckin lies again

hey i know it’s just the same
go and fuck her once now i want her all day x2
now she playing with my brain ya
give a boi a break like wait 

i’m okay despite of everything
tell her i’m okay despite of everything 

Pull to the side I don’t think you wanna know
how I feel I’ll shut before u wanna go 
I been thinkin’ bout the rest   
I’ve been doing better drugs i’ve been blownin up a check ya 

I don’t even need this now
she just make me feel a type of way somehow 
I don’t really wanna give in quite yet but god i kinda know 
she don’t even love me so I gotta go… whoa

hey I know it’s just the same
go and fuck her once now I want her all day
now she playing with my brain
give a boi a break like wait 

I know it’s just the same
go and fuck her once now I want her all day x2
now she playing with my brain
give a boi a break like wait

Give a Boi A Break

Shinigami x Lil Lotus - nightmare

ft. @steadysuffer & @violeteyezmusic

prod. @mothfries

lyrics:

1080p dreams:

I still feel your blade from getting stabbed in the back
every day sets the stage for a panic attack
I wake up in the morning, don't know how to react
so my mind slowly builds to a panic attack
it just hit me one time
collapsing to the floor and it isn't even lunch time
I woke up this morning, didn't know how to react
my whole life's like a never-ending panic attack
like a never-ending panic attack
like a never-ending panic attack
no more serenity, I'll never end up getting it back

banging my head against the wall
I just don't wanna feel anything at all
I'm getting ready for the fall 
spiking my own drinks with the methyl alcohol
always burdened by my actions
can't stop dwelling on all my past awkward social interactions
convince myself they never happened
memories I try to just pretend that I imagined
this throbbing vein in my temple is making me tremble
it's painful and stressful
I'm up late trying to wrestle with voices
my shoulders have an angel and devil
he's so good at persuasion
but my angel's trying to save me from this hyperventilation 
she gave me a paper bag for respiration
he handed me a plastic one that I could suffocate in

steadysuffer:

ya you told me i was nothing like they said
you told me I was better off dead
now i gotta pull up to the function all red
pull the trigger now i'm dead
(ya ah)

she don't wanna talk no more
pedal to the metal & the suicide doors
got a coper on my ass so i kick it in sport
no breaks just gas cause life is short

i'm sippin lean all day
and my sprite bottle lookin like a goddamn grape
get the fuck up out my way 
don't tell me we're the same
i'm in another state with my shawty on facetime

ya I ain't been on a date in a long time
if I fuck up i'll accuse her
you must think i'm a loser 
if i can't keep a conversation 
i'm sorry

violeteyez:

Where are you? And I'm so sorry
I was too depressed to go to your grad party
And now I watch your new boyfriend 
pick you up on the back of his brand new Harley
Well, Barbie girl, do you miss me?
He's got a chopper and I got a 6 speed
So what is it this week? Who are you kissing?
Am I insane, or could this time be different?

And I know you'll cover it up like you do
You left your morals with your clothes: in my bedroom
And I promise that I didn't take all this-
lightly, though you tried to slip it by me
I just need some time, so sit tight, please
emotions give me anxiety

1080p dreams:

I still feel your blade from getting stabbed in the back
every day sets the stage for a panic attack
I wake up in the morning, don't know how to react
so my mind slowly builds to a panic attack
it just hit me two times
I'm in the ER and it's only half past noontime
I woke up this morning, didn't know how to react
my whole life's like a never-ending panic attack
like a never-ending panic attack
like a never-ending panic attack
no more serenity, I'll never end up getting it back

Stream on Spotify

panic attack ft. steadysuffer & violeteyez (prod. mothfries)

I’ve never felt so fucked send help my love I’m going under
I wonder what you think of me tell me is it over
wish I didn’t love you so much
I’ve been getting used to what it does
trying to loosen my grip
girl I know I won’t get anywhere by
holding on too tightly I’m trying
not to lose my fuckin mind
you’re so confusing all the time
I don’t wanna lose you ill do anything
damnit I think you’re gone already

I wonder what you think of me but
god I know i shouldn’t
fall apart every time that you come when
I’m standing still alone and fucking stuck
wish I didn’t care about you so much
miss the way we used to talk
lately you’ve been gone
so far off from what I thought I would want
I love you so much 
you can use me just know I love you and

I’ve never felt so fucked send help my love I’m going under
I wonder what you think of me tell me is it over
wish I didn’t love you so much
I’ve been getting used to what it does
trying to loosen my grip
girl I know I won’t get anywhere by
holding on too tightly I’m trying
not to lose my fuckin mind
you’re so confusing all the time
I don’t wanna lose you ill do anything
damnit I think you’re gone already

I don’t wanna waste my time with you
spend a couple months now I’m back into
this game that I hate and I know its forsure
that you’ll leave me broken when you walk out the door
wish I didn’t fall so easily
cuz I feel you start to walk away from me
and I know I gotta get my self together now
feel so small underneath this ground
can you tell I’m breaking
with every word you’re saying to me now
all my bones are shaking trying my best somehow

I’ve never felt so fucked send help my love I’m going under
I wonder what you think of me tell me is it over

gonna keep loving you
cuz its the only thing I know how to do
I’m useless I’m used up
your perfect I’m in love
holding onto pieces that would keep us connected
pouring out my heart I should have kept you protected
I don’t wanna lose you after all that we went through
if it has to be this way ill never forget you

send help (feat. kaiyko & familypet) [prod. curtains]

day 38 cant make it
counting scars like marks in the pavement
all the love in me turned to hatred
and beautiful things bring pain when
they're gone like we all will be
wish I could kill my fucking feelings
stuck in this hell scratched your name in the ceiling
starting to think that this is really how it ends
been 6 months since I've seen you
hope you're doing good yea me too
things have changed so much and I've seen a new life
it all fell into place without you by my side
then 10 years came and went so quick
your first love's gone and got 3 kids
it took so long but there's so much I've missed
I've learned life hurts but I love this

And all I ever really wanted was you in it
Maybe I'm meant to spend forever as a masochist

all I have left is in my head
a blank space with your name in it
wish you would have stayed but I understand
went too deep and drowned again
I think the pain made me love instead
pulled out the oages inside my head
felt what it means to see everything and
every being for what it is
I still miss you so much
but everythings hopeless and its not so bad
add another slash and run it back screaming

Day 38 cant make it
counting scars like marks in the pavement
all the love in me turned to hatred
and beautiful things bring pain when
they're gone like we all will be
wish I could kill my fucking feelings
stuck in this hell scratched your name in the ceiling
starting to think that this is really how it ends
been 6 months since I've seen you
hope you're doing good yea me too
things have changed so much and I've seen a new life
It all fell into place without you by my side
then 10 years came and went so quick
your first love's gone and got 3 kids
it took so long but there's so much I've missed
I've learned life hurts but I love this

Day 38

day 38 (prod. shon lindauer)

MUSIC VIDEO: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pMS--FQ5yxM

w/ @barrenwaste

yeah girl, i get it
im all too concerned
with the lesson that i never really learned
you aint somethin that i ever saw as a cure
so get lost
or get with it
this loves been finished
my hearts on fire
cuz i dont know how to quit it
 
and if i ever had a second to take back
id save it for someone
who aint lookin for payback 
i thought u loved me
but it isnt the same
so ill stay fucked up
tryna numb all my pain
 
just take me back
found my own little slice of home
itll never be the same
but i feel grown
aint nobody lovin u like i did
hearts offline
and my heads been split
hands on the wheel
runnin off of the road
you can have my life
if i got ur soul
same old shit
with a brand new bitch
fuck this life
im over it
 
if by now you didn’t know
i prefer to spend my days alone
held captive only by these four walls
haven’t answered a single call
all night
been dealing with a hell
of an internal gripe
triplet flows
keeping this brain alive
with how much im smoking
the future aint looking too bright
can barely remember
to write down a line
people keep asking
no i aint fine
dreading a pointless
unfulfilling life
somebody come and
take this mic
i could rant and rave
with all my might
dont wanna be too specific
na this shit aint even written
i can shit out a rhyme
that you call your best work
ya lady still love me
man i can be such a jerk
i take out my anger on
all in my path
ruining friendships
i never had
losing a loved one
that ill never grasp
dealing with the pain
that comes with it all
just me n the homies
fuck it we ball

https://linktr.ee/yesterday.nj

Follow me <3

girls don't like me (prod. yesterday)

missed your text now im stuck in the middle
cant remember the last time tht i didnt feel this
hole inside my heart and soul
i never thought that life would turn me this cold

nicotine help me tolerate another day
thc makes my sanity just slip away
3 more shots til im back into my happy place
drank too much now im crying in the back again

self doubt again
cant get the fuck out my head
this might be the end
i think this might be the end

i cant trust this bitch i know she digging for gold
i dont know if i could ever trust a soul
got my hand on the blade if u want smoke we could go
i been screaming at the sky cus i been searching for some hope tonight

missed your text now im stuck in the middle
cant remember the last time tht i didnt feel this
hole inside my heart and soul
i never thought that life would turn me this cold

nicotine help me tolerate another day
thc makes my sanity just slip away
3 more shots til im back into my happy place
drank too much now im crying in the back again

go fuck yourself i
dont care what you say
hope this storm will pass
drowning in my pain

nicotine [prod. 93feetofsmoke]

new album 'nosebleeder' (deluxe) out now on Epitaph Records. lillotus.ffm.to/nosebleederdlx

MISSED UR CALL (Prod. JakeMarkow x Lil Lotus) MERCH DROP<3

LIL LOTUS