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Paulo Mac - Vontade De Amor

I keep accidentally learning lessons I did not sign up for.
Every day feels like a pop quiz written by someone who hates me personally.

I drink coffee like it owes me money.
I stare at walls until they start winning the argument.
If you see me smiling, it is probably buffering.

This is not a cry for help.
This is a cry for five minutes of quiet and maybe a chair that does not squeak.

Anyway.
Hope your day is going better than mine.

I am not gonna do anything
Relax
I just
Need to say it out loud once

Drink coffee that gave up first
Stare at walls that know my name
The mirror keeps asking follow ups
Like it is building a case not concern

There are dishes soaking from Tuesday
A calendar that judges in red
I keep thinking I will feel different
After one more shower
One more sleep
One more

It is not a plan
It is a punchline
A thought that shows up uninvited
What if nothing needed an answer

It is just a toaster bath confessional
A dumb thought passing through
I do not want silence
I want a break
From carrying me like I expired

It is not a goodbye
It is not a threat
It is a joke my brain will not stop telling
I do not wanna disappear
I just want
Everything else to stop yelling

I buy groceries like I am optimistic
Vegetables I will apologize to later
I tell people yeah I am good lately
Like that sentence is not bending under pressure

I rehearse conversations alone
Win arguments nobody knows
I keep waiting for relief to arrive
Like it took a wrong exit three years back

It is not danger
It is just loud
And I am tired of the volume

It is just a toaster bath confessional
A passing useless thought
I do not want out
I want off
The endless loop my brain got caught

It is not a goodbye
It is not a wish
It is a pressure valve nothing more
I do not wanna vanish
I just wanna
Feel lighter than before

If I laugh it is not disrespect
If I joke it is not denial
It is how I keep the lights on
In my head
One more mile

So here is my toaster bath confessional
Said once now it is done
I do not need saving
I need space
And maybe the sun on mute

I am still here
Still breathing
Still annoyed that I exist
But I will take honesty
Over silence
Even if it sounds like this

I am still here though
Unfortunately

Okay
That is it
You can go now

Toaster Bath Confessional

An acoustic-blues confession with a modern edge—hope sung through every bruise.

SKIN TO BONE

LINKIN PARK

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