This feels like watching U2 write a new song onstage. I trust completely that if anyone knows the way, they do. But that's no guarantee of an easy answer, or a smooth drive. I am grateful for your courage. And all of your other things.

Always love your songs!  This is another one 😊

Here the summer 
Feels like winter 
And  Hope is hard to find 
When I’m under neath 
The weather 
And life is marking time  

See the bustle 
In the city 
And the trams that run the line
Hear the hustle 
And the heartbeat 
I keep stepping out of time 

Walking/fighting against the traffic flow 
Swimming against the undertow
Running against the wind that throws
Pushing against the crowds below 

Wishing upon a dying star 
Dreaming away the days afar
Longing to know just where you are
Tracing  along  each deepest scar

Week 36b - IMAOKFUR (#390, 200901)

Warning - explicit lyrics

Songwriting challenge week...something "AOK"

Not on topic as time was my master this week - so I though I'd post one from our live set for anyone who likes a song about whisky!

This came from a band whisky night where the merits of the grain were being discussed!

The Fire

Whisky

"I’m Ready Now" (#392, 200905)

 * Co-written with Paul McDonnell *

I'm looking for a place to put these chances I won't take
There's no more space the closet's full door's about to break
Gotta' clear some room by throwin' out these broken things
Collectin' dust from dawn to dusk beneath this old box spring

Like the halo that I used to wear, and my broken magic wand
There’s the shoes I never walked a mile in, should have tried those on

Well I’m ready now I’m singin’ it out loud
I'm breakin' free of what I can see I'm better off without
Yeah these nights are long but this ain't about what's right or wrong
It's just about me throwin' out my doubts and I think I'm ready now

My rosy tinted glasses they've been down there for awhile
Next to all the hours I spent wishin' like a child
A clover with 3 leaves it never seemed to grow a fourth
The pedestal that leveled all my lovers to the floor

The first stone that I couldn't cast, the tears that didn't help
Fallin' on the pages full of words I told myself

Well I’m ready now I’m screamin’ it out loud
I'm breakin' free of what I can see I'm better off without
Yeah these nights are long but this ain't about what's right or wrong
It's just about me throwin' out my doubts and I think I'm ready now

Pictures from the past like a movie in my mind
I can change my story when I leave them all behind

Week 36a - I’m Ready Now (200905)

The words of the poet Robert Frost made into a song at the Shetland Songwriting Festival

The Aim Was Song

Before man came to blow it right
     The wind once blew itself untaught,
And did its loudest day and night
     In any rough place where it caught.
 
Man came to tell it what was wrong:
     It hadn’t found the place to blow;
It blew too hard—the aim was song.
     And listen—how it ought to go!
 
He took a little in his mouth,
     And held it long enough for north
To be converted into south,
     And then by measure blew it forth.
 
By measure. It was word and note,
     The wind the wind had meant to be—
A little through the lips and throat.
     The aim was song—the wind could see.

The Aim Was Song

Too sad to even care

Week 40 #songaweek2020. Photo is church, pandemic-style (Facebook Live kitchen-table worship  with my pastor). Partially inspired by Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky. 

The closer you come to the mirror
The further you feel from yourself
You’re facing the facts
But there’s more to the story 
You’re something like what they see
And nothing short of you

The harder you hold out for meaning
The smaller it shrinks from your grasp
when did it ever make sense
In the cold hard light of you?

Come
Weary one
I will give you rest

The longer you live with your secret
The louder it lies in the dark
And cries to be heard
And held to the light

The deeper you dig down for treasure
the stranger the strain on your soul
When will you ever have
Enough?

Come
Heavy-laden one
I will give you rest

Come
Every last least one
I will give you rest

Rest

"Ifs And Thens" (#399, 201003)

Once in awhile before I know it
My mind is somewhere else
Back in a memory and holdin' on
To the way it always felt

Nothing to fear not a thing to argue
A smile could say it all
But we grow up quickly and the doubt breaks through
Careless like a cannonball

All these ifs and thens
They can't bring me back
Back to where and when

The nights weren't heavy the days weren't long
The music lasted after crowd was gone
I knew you loved me I never had a better friend
Oh take me back again when there weren't no ifs and thens

It wasn't long ago I was young and trusting
Loved that you were too
Why do we now try to raise our voices
Like we got something to prove

All these ifs and thens
They can't bring me back
Back to where and when

The nights weren't heavy the days weren't long
The music lasted after crowd was gone
I knew you loved me I never had a better friend
Oh take me back again when there weren't no ifs and thens

The man I am today
You'd look me up and down
Wonder what you'd say
If you could see me now

Week 40b - Ifs And Thens (201003)

"Didn’t Know What I Didn’t Know" (#400, 201003)

 * co-written with Pete & Pat Luboff *
 * image by Jonathan Brazil: www.flickr.com/photos/jbwan *

Couldn’t see what I couldn’t see right before my eyes
Didn’t doubt what I believed and couldn’t tell you why
Wouldn’t hear what I wouldn’t hear not a whisper not a shout
You said it loud and clear but I knew how to tune you out

I didn’t know what I didn’t know of course I know that now
I had to learn the hard way the only way that I know how
Baby please forgive me don’t turn around and go
I didn’t mean to hurt you I didn’t know what I didn’t know

Couldn’t tell what I couldn’t tell and you couldn’t tell me anything
Followed you down to the water but you couldn’t make me drink
Didn’t do what I said I’d do I guess that all I can say
Now I’m looking at losing you I hope it’s not too late

I didn’t know what I didn’t know of course I know that now
I had to learn the hard way the only way that I know how
Baby please forgive me don’t turn around and go
I didn’t mean to hurt you I didn’t know what I didn’t know

I didn’t know how to love you
I didn’t know how much I do
Tell me we’re not breakin’ up
I swear I’ll make it up to you

Week 40a - Didn’t Know What I Didn’t Know (201003)

Copyright Erin Wolf 2020

Guitar & Vocals: Erin Wolf
Lyrics: James Tristan Redding & Erin Wolf
Music: Erin Wolf

*This song uses a wide range of old unused prompts from Song-A-Week founder, James Tristan Redding (@jimtristan). Former prompts featured can be found following the song lyrics with the year the prompt is from. While I had hoped to use them as prompts in their own right, it seemed fitting to put them all together while also using Week 40's theme, "Ifs and Thens". Thank you for the wonderful inspiration, old friend!*

last call, but i'll keep nursing my
whiskey for one
i used to say i like myself better when I'm drunk
but that old me is gone
that old me is gone

i guess my best was pretty bad, hey
what i said is not what i wanted to say
but in the end, i pay for my mistakes
pay for my mistakes

all i ever wanted was to make you proud
but for all i know,
i've failed and let you down
if i could just make you smile
even for a moment
that would be just fine

it's 11:59 and here i am hoping
that you are my tomorrow morning
forget ifs and thens
how or whens
what do ya say

forget ifs and thens
how or whens
what do ya say

(vocalizations)
(because i'm too lazy to type them all out)

**********
old JTR prompts featured in this song (year)
1. make you proud (2018)
2. 11:59 (2018)
3. my best was pretty bad (2018)
4. you are my tomorrow (2017)
5. whiskey for one (2017) 
6. for all i know (2017)
7. pay for my mistakes (2016)
8. not what i wanted to say (2016)
9. i like myself better when i'm drunk (2010)
10. if i could just make you smile (2009)

It's 11:59 Somewhere

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