if you feel lonely

I don't have a player in that game. I don't choose the hill, I just climb it all night. And when it comes to breaking our antlers apart, sometimes we push harder, for the comfort of being stuck.

Thinking my way out of it and into another thought:
Who is this body entrusted with my time? Now I'm applying filters to the creases and the grime.

I don't need to see what I'm waiting for. Waiting is an active state of
creating a door.

Antlers

I can tell by the stickers on your car, you've been here a while.
Sticky smile, it's starting to stink - the waver.

Oh, tall tale, tall tale: I cling to the tail of it.
Before you start to snore, do you want a little more?

Second guess: do I need contingencies, a road below this one?
What I'd like, is to build a life with you, and keep building.

Or is this not what I've been knowing it to be? 
Perhaps it's not what I've been knowing it to be.

All that time traveling by your side with your arm 'round my shoulder, taking notes on the cadence of the road as though our pace was what paved it.

Oh, tall tale, tall tale - I cling to the tail of it.
Before you make up your mind, will you give me some time?

It's been months, walking back and forth in this city without you.
By the phone, fingers in my mouth, could this not be about you

The Waver

I'd memorized the sound of your van, so I breathed a heavy sigh when you hit a deer. 
Turning into a turning away from traffic sounds, I can hear the rain now roiling in the gutter, the creaking of metal, and a bassline, a wind chime.

Still you show up in a passing thought; focus on the passing. I water the plants and think about lunch. I can feel the hunger roiling in my stomach, my grumpy bones creaking, and my heart's little beating.

Now you become emotional waiting for a departing flight, for which you've packed light.

Do you ever feel like we're approaching this knot from the wrong end?
You can fight against a season, fight against the cold - comfort rational.

I've got the heat cranked but it makes no difference. The heart wants what it wants.

When You Hit A Deer

Who will brush the eyelashes from my cheek?
     Oh remind me of a ghost in the cracking of the floor.
Who will kiss the tears as they collect?
     Oh remind me like a memory in the smell of fire in autumn leaves.
Who will wrap me in arms of love?
     Oh remind me with specific warmth that shakes the mystery.

Oh remind me, remind me. 

Who will wait for me when I slow down?
     Oh remind me of a laugh on the train tracks; it's bellowing.
Who will call to say babe, I'm coming back?
      Oh remind me that the summer comes when the cold has nearly swallowed me.

Shake the mystery

I want you to be my captain, but you don't have a ship.
I want you to be my guide, but you've got no map to lead with.
I want you to be my pilot, but you've lost the horizon.
I want you to be my lover, but your body bends the other way.

I want you to be my gardener, but I die and die, you leave me dry.
I want you to be my teacher, but I fell asleep at your lectern.
I want you to be my enemy, but there just isn't enough between you and me.
I want you to be my lover, but your body bends the other way.

I want to put a name on it, but it ducks and squirms and leaves me panting.
I want to put a collar on it, but it bites and fights and runs off ranting.
I want to whisper about it, but it's rude and obscure like an inside joke.
I want to own it, but it moves beyond me it moves beyond me.

Collar

(A re-recording, this one's originally from 2014. I don't think it ever made its way or stayed online, but it was on some of the CDs I handed out then.)

I found a body and I took it to my bed.  I treated it quite nicely and I read it just what to say. But bodies tend to have thoughts and feet with which to wander off on. And wander, you did that. You walked on out.
I chased you. I'm not embarrassed to say I wanted you that way. No, I don't love you. I just wanted you to lie with me for a while.
Well, forgoing that
I found another body and I took it to my bed. It treated me quite poorly. I don't know what to say.
But bodies (I remembered this) tend to have thoughts and feet with which to wander off on. And wander, I did that. I walked away. 
You chased me. You were never embarrassed to say you wanted me that way. But I don't love you. I think I just wanted you to lie with me for a while.

Bodies

I hung a cluster of bells that we danced around. A trap in name, but we didn't call it that -- dodging their sweet tone and their indication.
The ability to see, fresh and renewed (patterns and lights and people too) comes and goes, well, but I wish that for you.
What marks the channel? And what do they mean (the colors and stripes and flashing beams}?

I built up a bump in the road to train an anticipation. I guess I'm still digging myself out from you.

I don't think I could tell you a story about every state. But you're a storyteller; I sit at your knee and wait
And in the burning up of the day, we let the burning day burn this thing away. The report of the moon says, “Too soon! Too soon!” as the fishermen cast for fishing again.
You caught me on land, with the sea in my hair. I came here to rest, and you in your restlessness…
You couldn't bear my pain, my near total collapse. You couldn't stand to look at me like that. 
And in an exhale, in a coming back, I gathered what was left from the wreck and said fuck that.

I built up a bump in the road to train an anticipation. I guess I'm still digging myself out from you.

Computer magic/mastery by Steve Johnson @

Lizzy Greif

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