Joe, Tom, and Nate live in London talk about the time the Russian Empire sent a fleet around the world to fight the Japanese Imperial Navy.

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It is never a good time to go hiking in the swamp with 100,000 of your friends and two Emperors.

Sources:

https://earth-history.com/Europe/Goths/jordanes-goths-04-3rdcentury.htm

https://historycollection.com/two-roman-emperors-brutally-died-battle-251-ad/

Jones, Christopher P. Further Dexippus (Online).

Ludwig Heinrich Dyck. "Philippolis: Roman Disaster on the Western Border." Military Heritage. April 2008. Vol. 9. No. 5

The Cambridge Ancient History: Volume 12, The Crisis of Empire, AD

Episode 373 - The Battle of Abritus

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In this episode, Joe regales Nate and Tom with the story of the Schwerer Gustav, a novelty oversize rail cannon designed to be as big and stupid as possible. It required you to lay down double track anywhere it went, effectively creating the first Fortnite build mode. It looked like the Magitek Factory except real. It did not work very well and was used far less frequently than you'd expect.

Sources: 
Ian Hogg. German Artillery of WWII
https://www.historynet.com/hitlers-monster-tanks/
https://www.historynet.com/krupp-28-cm-k5e-railway-gun/
https://www.forcesnews.com/heritage/wwii/super-gun-hitlers-most-powerful-cannon-was-used-battle-against-russia
https://interestingengineering.com/innovation/schwerer-gustav-the-biggest-cannon-during-wwii
https://www.slashgear.com/1430418/biggest-gun-ever-used-in-combat-schwerer-gustav-dora/


Episode 377 - The Schwerer Gustav

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During WWII, the US launched a mission to kill Isoroku Yamamoto, the architect of the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor, which only went so well due to Yamamoto really not caring about his own safety and ignoring constant warnings from his subordinates.

Sources:

Doug Hampton. Operation Vengeance: The Astonishing Aerial Ambush That Changed World War II

Burke Davis. Get Yamamoto.

Hiroyuki Agawa. The Reluctant Admiral: Yamamoto and the Imperial Navy.

https://warfarehistorynetwork.com/article/killing-yamamoto-operation-vengeance-from-roger-ames-cockpit/

https://warfarehistorynetwork.com/article/death-of-admiral-isoroku-yamamoto/

Episode 381: Operation Vengenace

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Once upon a time, the British Empire sent a very badly planned rescue mission halfway around the world to save a man who didn't need to be saved. It ended in hilarious failure.

Sources:

https://thecanadianencyclopedia.ca/en/article/nile-expedition

Michael Asher. Khartoum: The Ultimate Imperial Adventure

Charles Trench. The Road to Khartoum: A Life of General Charles Gordon

Mike Snook. Beyond the Reach of Empire: Wolseley's Failed Campaign to save Gordon and Khartoum

Simon Craig. Breaking the Square: Britain Takes on Mahdi at the Battle of Abu Klea. Military Heritage Magazine. Vol. 3 No. 3.

Episode 382 - The Gordon Relief Expedition

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The first in our four-part series about the Texas Revolution, a story in which some of the drunkest and worst-smelling guys of the 19th century decided to break away from Mexico for... reasons.

Sources:

Edward Baptist. The Half Has Never Been Told: Slavery and the Making of American Capitalism

Randolph Campbell. An Empire for Slavery: The Peculiar Institution in Texas, 1821–1865

Stephen Hardin. Texian Illad.

Andrew Torget. Seeds of Empire: Cotton, Slavery, and the Transformation of the Texas Borderlands, 1800–1850

Episode 383 - The Texas Revolution: Part 1

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*PREVIEW* Soochow, The Drunk, Racist, Marine Corps Dog *LIVE IN GLASGOW*

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Episode 384 - The Texas Revolution: Part 2

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*PREVIEW* The History of Georgia and the Anarchist Republic of Guria: Part 2

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Episode 384 - The Texas Revolution: Part 3

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*PREVIEW* 2025 Q&A

The conclusion to our series on the Texas Revolution!

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Episode 385 - The Texas Revolution: Part 4

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In the opening stages of WWI, an Army of 40 year old reservists from the Austro-Hungarian Empire, armed with decades-old weapons and no food, and largely unable to even speak to one another, attempt to hold off the Russian Imperial Army in what became known as "Austria-Hungary's Stalingrad"

Sources:

Graydon Tunstall. Written in Blood: The Battles For Fortress Przemysl in WWI.

Dr. Alexander Watson. The Fortress: The Siege of Przemsysl and the Making of Europe's Bloodlands.

Christopher Miskimon. The Siege of Przemysl. Military Heritage. Jan 2016. Volume 17, No 4.

Episode 386 - The Siege of Przemyśl

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*PREVIEW* The Insane Story of Jonathan Idema

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Early during the US War in Vietnam, incompetent American advisors to the Army of the Republic of Vietnam (ARVN), who is also incompetent, get incredibly mad as they attempt to get them to fight the Viet Cong, despite the fact the Americans never bothered to tell the ARVN about the battle plan, and every ARVN commander on the ground has to ask for permission to do any command position in a game of telephone that goes all of the way up to the President of South Vietnam.

Sources:

David Elliot. The Vietnamese War: Revolution and Change in the Mekong Delta 1930-1975

David Halberstam. The Making of a Quagmire: American and Vietnam During the Kennedy Era.

Neil Sheehan. A Bright Shining Lie: John Paul Vann and America in Vietnam.

https://www.armyupress.army.mil/Portals/7/educational-services/staff-rides/VSR/Ap-Bac-Vietnam/Material/Ap-Bac%20Preliminary%20Study%20Guide%20V1.0.pdf

https://www.historynet.com/the-battle-at-ap-bac-changed-americas-view-of-the-vietnam-war/

Episode 387 - The Battle of Ap Bac

It's the late 16th century and the Ottoman Empire is continuing to advance across the eastern Mediterranean. In Istanbul, the Ottomans have begun ratifying ambassadorships and trade deals with the English crown. And in the middle of this comes a crew of the most sunburned Barbary Pirates you've ever met, hell-bent on plundering any ship they can find before they high-tail it back to...England?

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*PREVIEW* The English Pirates of the Mediterranean

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Towards the end of the Crimean War the Russians invade the Ottoman Empire, coming up against the Fortress City of Kars. Command of the Ottoman forces fall to an old drunk, British man who may or may not be the bastard child of Prince Edward, all of the Turkish officers under him are actually Hungarian, and one American catholic.

Sources:

Winifred Baumgart. The Crimean War: 1853-1856

Raugh Harold. The Victorians at War: 1815-1914

Humphrey Sandwith. The Siege of Kars 1856

William Edward David Allen, Paul Muratoff. Caucasian Battlefields: The History of the Wars of the Turco-Caucasian Border 1828-1921

Episode 388 - The Siege of Kars

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*PREVIEW* Lions Led By Robots 21: Angel Slop

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In the early days of English ambassadorships to the Ottoman Empire, an increasingly petty collection of grievances among European envoys and Ottoman dignitaries set the conditions for a single errant snowball to incite an anti-English riot. Witness the story of the snowball that got a bunch of English guys' beaten with oblong objects.

Research: Dr Joel Butler

Reources:
Public Records Office, The National Archives, Kew, London: SP 97/3; SP 97/4.

‘Bu bir nefret cinayetidir: Gazeteci Nuh Köklü, 'kartopu oynarken' öldürüldü.’ Radikal (2 February 2015).

‘Gazeteci Nuh Köklü kar topu oynarken öldürüldü’, BBC News Türkçe (18 February 2015).

‘Journalist Nuh Köklü murdered for playing snowball’, Agos (18 February 2015).
‘Life in prison for man who stabbed Turkish journalist over snowball fight’, Hürriyet Daily News (5 June 2015).

Atran, S. ‘The Devoted Actor: Unconditional Commitment and Intractable Conflict across Cultures’, Current Anthropology, 57/S13 (2016), S192-S203.

Brotton, J. The Sultan and the Queen: The Untold Story of Elizabeth and Islam (New York, 2017)

Brown, H.F. Calendar of State Papers Relating To English Affairs in the Archives of Venice, Volume 9, 1592-1603 (London, 1897).

Burian, O. The Report of Lello, Third English Ambassador to the Sublime Porte / Babıâli Nezdinde Üçüncü İngiliz Elçisi Lello’nun Muhtırası (Ankara, 1952).

Butler, J.D. ‘Between Company and State: Anglo-Ottoman Diplomacy and Ottoman Political Culture, 1565-1607’, unpubd. DPhil thesis, University of Oxford (2022).

_________. ‘Lello, Henry’, The Oxford Dictionary of National Biography (Oxford, 2023).

Coulter, L.J.F. ‘The involvement of the English crown and its embassy in Constantinople with pretenders to the throne of the principality of Moldavia between the years 1583 and 1620, with particular reference to the pretender Stefan Bogdan between 1590 and 1612’, unpubd. PhD thesis, University of London (1993).

Foster, W. (ed.) The Travels of John Sanderson in the Levant (1584-1602) (London, 1931).

Horniker, A.L. ‘Anglo-French Rivalry in the Levant from 1583 to 1612’, The Journal of Modern History, 18/4 (1946), 289-305.

Hutnyk, J. ‘Nuh Köklü. Statement from Yeldeğirmeni Dayanışması’ (20 February 2015) at: https://hutnyk.wordpress.com/2015/02/20/nuh-koklu-statement-from-yeldegirmeni-dayanismasi/ (accessed 8 March 2025).

Kowalczyk, T.D. ‘Edward Barton and Anglo-Ottoman Relations, 1588-98’, unpubd. PhD thesis, University of Sussex (2020).

MacLean, G. ‘Courting the Porte: Early Anglo-Ottoman Diplomacy’, University of Bucharest Review, 10/2 (2008), 80-88.

MacLean, G. & Matar, N. Britain & the Islamic World, 1558-1713 (Oxford, 2011).

Newson, M. ‘Football, fan violence, and identity fusion’, International Review for the Sociology of Sport, 54/4 (2019), 431-444.

Newson, M., Buhrmester, M. & Whitehouse, H. ‘United in defeat: shared suffering and group bonding among football fans’, Managing Sport and Leisure, 28/2 (2023), 164-181.

Purchas, S. Hakluytus Posthumus or Purchas His Pilgrimes, viii (Glasgow, 1905).

Sheikh, H., Gómez, Á. & Altran, S. ‘Empirical Evidence for the Devoted Actor Model’, Current Anthropology, 57/S13 (2016), S204-S209.

Unknown Artist. (c1604). The Somerset House Conference, 1604 (oil on canvas). London: National Portrait Gallery.

Episode 389 - The Istanbul Snowball Fight

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*PREVIEW* Charles Aznavour, French Resistance Hero

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A group of people, forced into one of the worst jobs in human history, decide to launch a suicidal revolt to destroy the tools of the Holocaust.

Sources:

Lawerence Langer. Versions of Survival: The Holocaust and the Human Spirit

Primo Levi. The Drowned and the Saved.

Nathan Cohen. Diaries of the Sonderkommando - Confronting Fate and Reality.

Tzipora Hager Halivni. Preparation for Revolt in Auschwitz-Birkenau: Heroes and Martyrs.

Filip Muller. Eyewitness Auschwitz: Three Years in the Gas Chambers.

Henryk Tauber. Deposition made on May 24, 1945. Auschwitz: Technique and Operation of the gas chambers.

https://www.nationalww2museum.org/war/articles/sonderkommando-uprising-auschwitz-birkenau

Episode 390 - The Auschwitz Sonderkommando Revolt

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*PREVIEW* The Great Comanche Raid of 1840

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Joe and Tom are joined by Dr. Patrick Wyman, host of Past Lives and Tides of History to talk about the time the US Navy attempted to deploy flying aircraft carriers, which failed at a rate of 100%

Sources:

https://airandspace.si.edu/stories/editorial/how-airship-became-flying-aircraft-carrier

https://nationalsecurityjournal.org/the-u-s-navys-flying-aircraft-carrier-mistake-still-stings/

https://www.military.com/history/navys-short-lived-plan-dominate-skies-flying-aircraft-carriers.html

https://www.warhistoryonline.com/instant-articles/the-cursed-uss-akron-class.html

https://magazine.atavist.com/2025/american-hindenberg-zeppelin-disaster

https://www.usni.org/magazines/proceedings/1934/july/loss-akron

https://warfarehistorynetwork.com/article/the-uss-macon/

Episode 391 - The US Navy's Flying Aircraft Carriers ft. Dr. Patrick Wyman

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*PREVIEW* Lions Led By Robots 22: On Fluids

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In 1602, Savoy launched an invasion of Geneva, forcing the city-state's residents to rush to the walls and arm themselves with whatever they could get their hands on, including, in one infamous case, a pot of boiling soup.

sources:

Abplanalp, Andrej. “L’Escalade.” Blog: Schweizerisches National Museum. 11 Dec 2020. Online: https://blog.nationalmuseum.ch/fr/2020/12/l-escalade-de-geneve/, consulté le 01.12.2025.

Aeschlimann, Jacques. “Tabazan, ou Le bourreau de Genève.” Geneva: La Sirène, 1961. pp. 97

Bonivard, François. Chroniques de Genève: Tome 2. Revilliod, Gustave, ed. Geneva, J.G. Fick: 1887. Online: https://gallica.bnf.fr/ark:/12148/bpt6k65402785/f154.item, consulté le 01.12.2025.

Dufour, Alfred. “Histoire de Genève.” Collection “Que sais-je ?” Paris, Presse Universitaires de France: 2001.

Fazy, Henri. “Genève, le parti huguenot, et le traité de Soleure (1574 à 1579).” Geneva, H. Georg: 1883.

Monnet, Vincent. “Ce fut en mille six cent et deux…” Campus, v.61. December 2002-January 2003. Geneva, Université de Genève, 2002. Online: https://www.unige.ch/presse/campus/pdf/c61/rtheologie.pdf, consulté le 01.12.2025.

Santschi, Catherine. “L’Escalade: Expositions des archives de l’état.” 2002. Online: https://archives-etat-ge.ch/page_de_base/lescalade, consulté le 02.12.2025.

- "Blondel, Philibert", in: Dictionnaire historique de la Suisse (DHS), version du 13.11.2002. Online: https://hls-dhs-dss.ch/fr/articles/025640/2002-11-13/, consulté le 02.12.2025.

Schaetti, Nicolas. “La nuit de l’Escalade.” Bibliothèque de Genève: Expositions. 2023. Online: https://expos.bge-geneve.ch/escalade/, consulté le 30.11.2025.

Schaff, Phillip. “History of the Christian Church. Volume 8: The Reformation in Switzerland. Chapter 8. New York: Charles Scribner’s Sons, 1890. Logos Research Systems, Inc digitized version. Online: https://ccel.org/ccel/schaff/hcc8/hcc8.i.html, accessed 1 Dec 2025.

“Quelle est la signification du texte en latin et allemand sur la gravure tirée du ‘Thésaurus philopoliticus’ de Daniel Meissner et visible au musée de la Réforme ?” Questions-Réponses. Bibliothèque de Genève. 2023. https://www.geneve.ch/themes/culture/bibliotheques/interroge/reponses/est-la-signification-du-texte-en-latin-et-allemand-sur-la-gravure-tiree-du-thesaurus-philopoliticus-de-daniel-meissner-et-visible-au-musee-de-la-reforme

“Est-il vrai qu'une mère maquerelle appelée ‘Regina bordelli’ était en fonction à Genève jusqu'à la Réforme ?” Questions-Réponses. Bibliothèque de Genève. 2023. Online: https://www.geneve.ch/themes/culture/bibliotheques/interroge/reponses/est-il-vrai-quune-mere-maquerelle-appelee-regina-bordelli-etait-en-fonction-geneve-jusqua-la-reforme

HLS DHS DSS: "Escalade", in: Dictionnaire historique de la Suisse (DHS), version du 26.11.2009. Online: https://hls-dhs-dss.ch/fr/articles/008905/2009-11-26/, consulté le 01.12.2025.

Episode 392 - L'Escalade

The Italian military suffers its first combat casualties since WWII while engaged in a stupid, quixotic, and self-sabotaging "peacekeeping mission" in Somalia c. 1993. And the battle took place in an abandoned Barilla pasta factory. Yes.

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BIBLIOGRAPHY:

Biddle, Stephen "The Somali National Alliance in Somalia, 1992–94". Nonstate Warfare: The Military Methods of Guerillas, Warlords, and Militia

Tripodi, Paolo (2 August 1999). The Colonial Legacy in Somalia: Rome and Mogadishu: from Colonial Administration to Operation Restore Hope.

https://www.repubblica.it/esteri/2013/07/05/news/somalia_anniversario_battaglia_check-point_pasta-62413996/

https://brigatafolgore.net/en/2-july-1993-the-battle-of-the-check-point-pasta/

https://www.ilfaroonline.it/2018/07/02/2-luglio-1993-attacco-mogadiscio-ceckpoint-pasta/228435/

https://www.military.com/history/battle-of-checkpoint-pasta-italys-black-hawk-down-moment-somalia.html

*PREVIEW* The Battle of Checkpoint Pasta

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In this week's episode, we begin part one of a 2-part series describing the life and times of George Gordon Byron, 6th Baron Byron, the famous Romantic poet of the early 19th century who went to Greece in hopes of fighting for independence against the Ottomans, and immediately died. But, who was this man? And is describing something as "Byronic" a good thing? Spoiler: uh-oh.

BIBLIOGRAPHY


Bostridge, Mark. “On the Trail of the Real Lord Byron.” The Independent, November 4, 2002. https://www.the-independent.com/arts-entertainment/books/features/on-the-trail-of-the-real-lord-byron-126324.html.


Brand, Emily. The Fall of the House of Byron: Scandal and Seduction in Georgian England. Paperback edition. John Murray, 2021.


Brewer, David. The Greek War of Independence: The Struggle for Freedom from Ottoman Oppression and the Birth of the Modern Greek Nation. Woodstock, N.Y. : Overlook Press, 2001. http://archive.org/details/greekwarofindepe0000brew.


Burton, Danielle. “Lord Byron and His Pet Bear.” Derbyshire Record Office, October 22, 2024. https://recordoffice.wordpress.com/2024/10/22/lord-byron-and-his-pet-bear/.


Byron, George Gordon, Ernest Hartley Coleridge, and Rowland Edmund Prothero Ernle. The Words of Lord Byron. London : J. Murray; New York, C. Scribner’s sons, 1898. http://archive.org/details/worksoflordbyron11byro.


Byron, William Byron. The trial of William Lord Byron, Baron Byron of Rochdale, for the murder of William Chaworth, Esq; before the Right Honourable the House of Peers, ... On Tuesday the 16th, and Wednesday the 17th of April, 1765: on the last of which days the said William Lord Byron was acquitted of murder, but found guilty of manslaughter. ...  1765. 1765. http://archive.org/details/bim_eighteenth-century_the-trial-of-william-lor_byron-william-byron-ba_1765.


“Edward Blaquiere, British Officer, Founding Member of the Philhellenic Committee of London.” Εταιρεία Για Τον Ελληνισμό Και Τον Φιλελληνισμό, October 27, 2020. https://www.eefshp.org/en/edward-blaquiere-british-officer-founding-member-of-the-philhellenic-committee-of-london/.

Jones, Thomas. “On Top of Everything.” Review of Byron: Child of Passion, Fool of Fame, by Benita Eisler. London Review of Books, September 16, 1999. https://www.lrb.co.uk/the-paper/v21/n18/thomas-jones/on-top-of-everything.

Kunst Museum Winterthur. “Bildtext: Der Wanderer über dem Nebelmeer.” Accessed December 9, 2025. https://www.kmw.ch/ausstellungen/friedrich/digital/wanderer/.

Marchand, Leslie A. Byron: A Portrait. The University of Chicago Press, 1979.

MacCarthy, Fiona. Byron: Life and Legend. London: John Murray, 2014.

Patanè, Vincenzo, James Schwarten, and John Francis Phillimore. The Sour Fruit: Lord Byron, Love & Sex. John Cabot university press Copublished by the Rowman & Littlefield, 2019.

Rizzoli, G. B. “Byron’s Unacknowledged Armenian Grammar and a New Poem.” Keats-Shelley Journal 64 (2015): 43–71.

Episode 393 - Lord Byron: Part 1

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The conclusion to our series on Lord Byron. 

Special thanks to Joel Butler for additional research in this episode.

New sources in this episode:

C.W. Crawley, The Question of Greek Independence: A Study of British Policy in the Near East, 1821-1833 (Cambridge, 1930),

Caroline Finkel, Osman’s Dream (London, 2006), 425-428.

 W.H. Humphreys, W.H. Humphreys’ First “Journal of the Greek War of Independence” (July 1821-February 1822), Acta Academiæ Regiæ Scientiarum Upsaliensis, 11, ed. Sture Linnér (Stockholm, 1967), 23-24. 

H. Şükrü Ilıcak (ed.), “Those Infidel Greeks”: The Greek War of Independence Through Ottoman Archival Documents, 1 (Leiden, 2021), 1.

Episode 394 - Lord Byron: Part 2

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Idi Amin comes to power in Uganda, a military strongman, he lets his military run wild across the nation in a nearly decade long reign of terror. Amin, however, is a drunken, paranoid, monster. He purges his military, worried that someone would depose him. He imagines invasions of the British, Americans, Tanzanians, and the Israelis massing on his border. Finally, he invades Tanzania, sparking the Kagera War.

This is the story of the fall of Idi Amin.

Part 1/4

SOURCES:

Tony Avrigan, Martha Honey. War in Uganda: The Legacy of Idi Amin.

Ogenga Otunnu. Crisis of Legitimacy and Political Violence in Uganda, 1890-1979.

Ogenga Otunnu. Politics and the Military in Uganda, 1890-1985.

Yehudit Ronen. Libya's Intervention in Amin's Uganda: A Broken Spearhead.

Tom Cooper. War and Insurgencies of Uganda. 1971-1994

George Roberts. The Uganda-Tanzania War, The Fall of Idi Amin, and the Failure of African Diplomacy.

Alicia Decker. In Idi Amin's Shadow: Women, Gender, and Militarism in Uganda

Mark Leopold. Idi Amin: The Story of Africa's Icon of Evil



Episode 395 - The Kagera War: Part 1

The Lions Led By Donkeys podcast is a military history podcast for laughing at the worst military failures, inept commanders, and crazy stories from throughout the history of human conflict.

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