Sisyphus

This is my open verse to Rxseboy’s song “I don’t wanna be me anymore”

Rxseboy X MatKat Open Verse challenge ( I don’t wanna be me anymore )

Production: 4lexf
Sample: Pizzle
illustration: ?

@MatKat - Scars (Prod. 4lexf, pizzle)

MatKat: https://youtube.com/@IMatKatI
https://www.instagram.com/matthijsbreunis/

ThoKo: https://www.instagram.com/thomaskoele/

Prod: https://youtube.com/@KingEF

Lyrics
Ik wil zeggen dat het goed gaat
Ben je het daar mee eens?
Ja ik weet dat jij mij goed staat
Maar ik ben niet alleen

Ik wil zeggen dat het goed gaat
Ben je het daar mee eens?
Ja ik weet dat jij mij goed staat
Maar ik ben niet alleen

Oh samen dansent onder de maan
Ja meid we mogen nu niet stilstaan
Luister dit gebeurt nu te vaak
Dus laten we nu maar snel gaan
(wij gaan, wij gaan)

Ja je weet dat ik voor jou zou gaan
Maar toch twijfel als ik jou zie staan
Je staat stil geen beweging
Toch zie ik dat je meezingt

Ja wat speelt er in je hoofd
Dit is niet wat je had belooft
We zouden swingen samen dansen
Maar je negeert alle kansen

Met alle spreuken loop jij te toveren
Verwacht je nog dat ik je kan geloven
Als jij met deze onzin aan komt zetten
En vervolgens vertelt dat je ons verder wil hebben

Nee, oh
Ik wil zeggen dat (2x)

Ik wil zeggen dat het goed gaat
Ben je het daar mee eens?
Ja ik weet dat jij mij goed staat
Maar ik ben niet alleen

Oh samen dansent onder de maan
Ja meid we mogen nu niet stilstaan
Luister dit gebeurt nu te vaak
Dus laten we nu maar snel gaan
(wij gaan, wij gaan)

Weer een avond dat ik slecht ga
En ik mezelf weer eens slecht praat
Het is alles waar ik niet van hou
Want iedereen in de club die wil jou

Allemaal willen ze jou iets geven
Maar het is de aandacht die je aan wil nemen
En je kijkt me aan en ik word fucking ziek
Ja je bent zo sluw want het wordt nu fysiek

Ik twijfel 's avonds
Kan niet slapen
Zo verslagen

Maar het is niet aan mij
Het is niet aan mij
Nee het is niet aan mij

Ik wil zeggen dat het goed gaat
Ben je het daar mee eens?
Ja ik weet dat jij mij goed staat
Maar ik ben niet alleen

Oh samen dansent onder de maan
Ja meid we mogen nu niet stilstaan
Luister dit gebeurt nu te vaak
Dus laten we nu maar snel gaan
(wij gaan, wij gaan)

@MatKat @ThoKo - Stilstaan (Prod. KingEF)

Inspired by Lil Peep, but a little bit more rap and worse quality 😭 #lilpeep #rap #sadrap

Seven Seas

Zyse made like this magical beat so I was like holy shit let me cook

Stardust - MatKat x Zyse

A year ago around this time, we had to say goodbye to my aunt, fore she had finally found rest after her battle with cancer. I started writing with the idea of how close my mother was with her, and how she felt like a second mother to me. In memory to my aunt, we love you <3

Sisters

Adarsh went crazy with the beat again and I tried to get lyrical with it, hope you enjoy, but don’t relate all too much <3

Sorrow - MatKat x Adarsh Sanwaria (Feat. Mirtsi)

Conflicted - MatKat (Feat. Svar)

With the arrow still sticking out my chest
I see
The marks on you arm the string has left
to bleed
You couldn't own up to the fact
That you shot it
Now I'm in love with someone forgotten
 
Ever so faithful
Was laying by your side
Turned from angel to devil
When I closed my eyes
If I fall asleep thinking you're forever mine
Never would I feel this burning pain you left behind
 
Taking the hits on my own
Walk through the gates on my lone
Freezing outside
Follow your trails in the snow
Shot through the heart and I don't even know
Leading me on take me further from home
Bleed from the wounds that you hit with your bow
Drenched in poison from the tip of the arrow
 
Call the sparrows
Take me away
In the echo's
Of the forest
Where I'll rest from
being struck
Being struck by cupid
 
Don't want to fall behind
I don't wanna cry
Don't wanna fall
I don't wanna lie
I wanna be in love again
 
its making me feel so alone
thought id never stay
But now you start to feel like home
I don't know where to go
Take me anywhere feelings left behind
 
Devine forces
Challenge my heart
Stomach twisting
Coughing up blood

Cupid - MatKat (Prod. Adarsh Sanwaria) demo

Feathers on my face
I'm already falling off
Feel my mind start to decay
I'm pushing through no matter what
 
After all what I promised
Ain't no game
Got expectations to fulfil
It's weighing on me everyday
 
Happy and sadder days
The growing pains
Forever remain the same
But mind me
I tell myself it's okay
And behind me
Is the me that couldn't change
 
I'll make my way to
The home where I'll reside in
Don't know if I will find it

I try
To mean right
Bout everything that I will ever do
Until I'm gone

What is on the line
Is it in sight
I'll pour my heart and soul
Into my goal
I promise I'll get through this time

Anyone who earns my trust
You can tell their heart is just
I surround myself with people
Who won't leave me in the dust

And if I ever fall in love with someone
Who thinks just the same like me
I’ll be over the moon

And I'm still hanging on
Too scared to fall
But I'll have to learn 
I can be the one 
I promised myself
To become one day

Until I’m Gone - MatKat (Prod. Adarsh Sanwaria)

Roll my problems in a blunt
Smoke it til I'm numb
Oh I got a new bitch
And I swear that she the one
But she prolly not the one
I say that about everyone
Man fuck these hoes
I want this money
I put that over everyone
 
Oh me oh my
I can’t even lie
Sometimes I’ve been wondering
Why the fuck I even try
 
Oh me oh my
I can’t even lie
Sometimes I’ve been wondering
Why the fuck I even mind
 
Oh me oh my
Ion let that shit slide
All them hoes hit up my phone
But I ain't fuck with them tonight
 
Oh me oh my
I can't even lie
I say they all my favourite
Then ditch em to the side
 
Too many issues
Too many, too many wishes
All eyes are on me I hate it
I hate the game I be playin'
 
I won't, I won’t
I won’t
I said fuck love
Ever since you been gone
Out my mind
 
Roll my problems in a blunt
Smoke it til I'm numb
Oh I got a new bitch
And I swear that she the one
But she prolly not the one
I say that about everyone
Man fuck these hoes
I want this money
I put that over everyone
 
Oh me oh my
I can’t even lie
Sometimes I’ve been wondering
Why the fuck I even try
 
Oh me oh my
I can’t even lie
Sometimes I’ve been wondering
Why the fuck I even mind
 
Shit I been talking like
I'm crazy off the Hennessy
But you can only talk about
the ways you want a better me
But you never see
The way that you're mad at me
So something respectful
Is something I never see
 
It's getting crazy after midnight
Seven shots in
And I'm taking it down your waistline (I Know)
You're going crazy you can't take it
Everything I do, you will hear about and you hate it
 
Roll my problems in a blunt
Smoke it til I'm numb
Oh I got a new bitch
And I swear that she the one
But she prolly not the one
I say that about everyone
Man fuck these hoes
I want this money
I put that over everyone
 
Oh me oh my
I can’t even lie
Sometimes I’ve been wondering
Why the fuck I even try
 
Oh me oh my
I can’t even lie
Sometimes I’ve been wondering
Why the fuck I even mind

(Song writing credits to Thijn, for "a' before "better me")

Oh Me Oh My - The Kid Laroi (MatKat Remix demo)

Late Night Party - MatKat x T33H33

Fall away
Can't say it's over
If anything
It only pulled us closer
I would've wanted to be a part
Of every little thing
You ever went through
I will hold
I'll follow you wherever you go
I see, you shine

(You shine,
I’ll promise I’ll be by your side)

Questions I can’t answer
Don’t know what it is I felt
But I want this forever
As long as you'll be by my side
I will hold on
I lost you once and nevermore
Don't ever go away
I won't hesitate

And no matter what I achieve
It don't feel the same without you

Oh trust me when I say
Believe that all that I would I do

Questions I can’t answer
Don’t know what it is I felt
But I want this forever
As long as you'll be by my side
I will hold on

Wherever you go (demo)

Hit me like a truck
Didn't see the red light
Next time better luck
Coulda sworn I died
 
Watch from above
Never join me in my passenger
Blood shot eyes
As I'm witnessing a massacre
 
I never mean wrong
But I never get it right
Clean up my act
Take a deep look inside
I'm anxious and blind
Fearful design
Don't hit me up
When my mental declines
I need a revive
 
Got nowhere to go
I got my hands tied
 
Play by the rules
You won't make it
You won't ever make it
That's what they be saying
 
Run away
Trust me I
I hate it
I'm waiting for the sorrow to take over I
 
I let it happen cause
It's something that I recognise
They tell me that I've changed
And I can tell them they're right
I made so many mistakes
It's time for me to get by
 
Try to hide
I try to hide
Lately it's been my demise
I keep seeing reasons
In the mirror when I'm sleep deprived
 
And the more I'm awake
The more I forsake
On promises made

Run away
Trust me I 
Hate it here

MatKat - Red Light (Prod. Adarsh Sanwaria) demo

I love today but I hate the love today
They love the thought of it until the feelings drift away
I still see your resemblance in the flowers every day
But the colours lose their meaning when the seasons start to change
I'm evade of perception and the miscommunication
I tried to learn myself but yeah I'm still learning these lessons
They made this love a game
The rhythm of my heart it doesn't sound the same
Cause you're gone

I remember the days and hours
A bed in a grave of flowers
Things used to be different
Abandoning time to feel the change
 
But the rain won't settle in
Now my garden won't grow
It's unsettling
 
I want it to end today
Yet my feelings still remain
 
Like back in the old days
Used to hang out with you
Under the street lights
And you'd miss your last train
Times changed
Cause now we're just caught up
In playing with puzzles
While shaped in the wrong way
 
I remember the days and hours
A bed in a grave of flowers
Things used to be different
Abandoning time to feel the change
 
But the rain won't settle in
Now my garden won’t grow
It's unsettling

Grave of Flowers - MatKat x Abyzz (Prod Adarsh Sanwaria) demo

You left your make-up on my mattress
I can't remember if it's yours or from the last one
Cause there were times when you were absent
I didn't know I was signing up for a death run
 
I tried to play it cool I hate it
You tried to play me
But I saw through it all
 
It's not about time I've wasted
How long I waited
But that you never called
When I needed you the most
 
Passing by in my car
I don't wanna see nothing
Posting stories in the club
While you're acting like you love it
But I know better
Yeah I know better
 
You don't wanna be alone so you tryna hide
The fact you're actually alone
You are mortified
 
So drown your sorrows
In the two bottles of wine
To ignore the fact you're feeling numb inside
 
You fell right through the cracks of your old house
The floor is creaking from the steps of your self doubt
 
Guess you'll never get to meet the better me
Care less about the way that I'm perceived
Only care about my sound
 
You left your make-up on my mattress
I can't remember if it's yours or from the last one
Cause there were times when you were absent
I didn't know I was signing up for a death run
 
I tried to play it cool I hate it
You tried to play me
But I saw through it all
 
It's not about time I've wasted
How long I waited
But that you never called
When I needed you the most
 
I might as well say fuck it and get active
These girls they come and go
And love when it's excessive
 
Won't learn a lesson I
I wanna play tonight
 
I try
I tried so hard
You lied
Without a heart try crawling
 
I don't what it is about me
You love
But at least I try to stay honest
 
On the low I been fucking up with my odds
Underneath ima keep at hundred
 
In all honesty I told you I'm afraid
And I hate it
Cause you're playing
Can't believe you are fucking with me now
 
You left your make-up on my mattress
I can't remember if it's yours or from the last one
Cause there were times when you were absent
I didn't know I was signing up for a death run
 
I tried to play it cool I hate it
You tried to play me
But I saw through it all
 
It's not about time I've wasted
How long I waited
But that you never called
When I needed you the most

Make-up (Prod. Hayden) demo

Work in progress ofc
-
I've been thinking lately we ain't spending time no more
Lost track of brothers who been caught up in the adult world
Go shoot, we ball, we been fooling
Around the town we were cruising
Back when your door was only five houses away

Overwhelmed by all the troubles of today
And I've been losing my grip on all the struggles
I get into lately
I was loving every second
Looking back I wasn't ready
Missing those nights we weren't alone

Lets compare our schedules
And we can find some time
And I will say something dumb
I know that she will like
Even though we barely text
I love em till death
And nothing ever takes away from the memories we share

Troubles of Today - MatKat x Thoko (Demo)

Stand up on my feet
Avoiding the streets
Can’t close my eyes
You keep bothering me

My pupils will dilate
Get up and fly away
I’m on the search for them different dreams

During the day and the during the night
Smoke one away 
And let go of the fight

Put a spell on mind
I rather never wake up again
Never know what I am finding inside 

Can’t shake my feelings 
Can’t help why I remember you
Like so vividly, so damn viciously 
You switched up on me so damn easily 

(I don't know)

Can’t see you bleeding
Can’t dwell upon you reasons
To just leave me here, and deceive me here
To fucking me right over again

Your angels follow me behind
Every step aligned

Yeah
You told me you want no feelings involved
With someone that's only gon' use you
Now looking back and I guess you were right
I got involved in your damaging lies

Pack it up baby you're leaving
Try to hold on, but I know you was scheming
You wanna find a good reason
Going around
Telling the family that you really did it for healing

Can’t shake my feelings 
Can’t help why I remember you
Like so vividly, so damn viciously 
You switched up on me so damn easily 

(I don't know)

Can’t see you bleeding
Can’t dwell upon you reasons
To just leave me here, and deceive me here
To fucking me right over again

You fell in love with someone better
I know you're lying but
I'm not telling you

Keeping secrets
Far away
Still I keep thinking of you

Can’t shake my feelings 
Can’t help why I remember you
Like so vividly, so damn viciously 
You switched up on me so damn easily 

(I don't know)

Can’t see you bleeding
Can’t dwell upon you reasons
To just leave me here, and deceive me here
To fucking me right over again

Vicious (demo)

Deep End - MatKat (Prod. Hayden)

Wasted Angels (Prod. Metlast) demo

Mocht jij vanavond niet bij mij zijn
Dan is het tussen ons voorbij
Als je liever bij hem blijft
 
Ik had trust in ons
Maar ondanks alles wat wij hadden liet jij los
Oh meisje help mij het te snappen
Zeg waarom
Ik dacht wij gaan voor grote stappen
Now you’re gone
 
Het is laat
Ik ga nu toch maar naar huis
En ik hoorde mijn naam
Mijn gevoel die ging uit
En toen stond je daar
En je keek verbaasd toen
Dat ik zei
 
Mocht jij vanavond niet bij mij zijn
Dan is het tussen ons voorbij
Als je liever bij hem blijft
 
Ik had trust in ons
Maar ondanks alles wat wij hadden liet jij los
Oh meisje help mij het te snappen
Zeg waarom
Ik dacht wij gaan voor grote stappen
Now you’re gone
 
En het stond me niet aan dat
Alles wat je deed, was alleen voor de aandacht
Alles wat je kreeg, was de spijt van het aanzicht
Van wat je niet meer weet, de herinneringen wazig
 
Hoe meer van die glazen je neemt
Zeg je kan d'r nog een
Ga je slecht zijn je vrienden afwezig
Ik laat het los, niet mijn probleem
Je hebt je zelf ermee
Gevolgen zijn yours for the taking
 
Zo simpel is het niet
Ik weet je voelt het wel
Want diep van binnen zie
Jij dit nog altijd als een spel

Jij wil dit niet meer
Niet meer 

Ik had trust in ons
Maar ondanks alles wat wij hadden liet jij los
Oh meisje help mij het te snappen
Zeg waarom
Ik dacht wij gaan voor grote stappen
Now you’re gone

Ondanks Alles

Hey I am MatKat. I'm here just testing and figuring stuff out I guess. So expect some variety, or the same stuff I have no idea. I hope to evolve over time, love <3

MatKat

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