08 Country Music (Pandering)

16 Objectification

17 Break Up

CW: Autophobia, Depression, Emotional trauma, Isolation, Neglect

LYRICS:

Once there was red.
A nervous rose took root and slowly spread
It’s scarlet blossoms set my cheeks aflame
At the mention of your name.
And once there was blue.
An icy ache exhausting to subdue
Cold indigo that mocked my empty arms
Would that red had stronger charms.
Is meagre joy for sorrow numbed a terribly high cost?
If no one cares you’re missing are you even lost?
Or are you nothing?

Once there was green
The jealousy that I would pass unseen
While others seemed to captivate the eye
And not even have to try.
Once there was pink
My blushing musings metered out in ink
Each letter steeped in mortifying need
I would pray you’d want to read
My battles weren’t important if I helped you win your wars
If I was someone when you needed me and no one if not yours
Was I just nothing?
Nothing is better than yearning.
Nothing

Once there was gold
The rich assumption grief could be controlled
Gilded gauze may glimmer and conceal
But the wound beneath won’t heal
And once there was rust
Silver linings tarnished without trust
Marred by my indifferent admired
And My God hope makes you tired
I let you walk upon me in a childish conceit
That one day you would see my care and help me to my feet
But all for nothing
Ground by thankless steps into nothing.
Nothing
When did sweetness fly my cup and leave it bitter black?
Wouldn’t it be easier to take a different tack?
And taste nothing
Play mother with a potful
Of nothing

Once there was a rainbow
A vibrant spectrum traded to let pain go
When faith gave graceless way to destined doubt
All the pigment petered out
I never asked for everything, I begged a lone demand
And still guilt stained that single wish for one who’d hold my hand
So:
If none will share their palette I accept my ashen pall
If no one wants to love you, why feel anything at all?
Just feel nothing.
Nothing is better than hurting.
Nothing.
If I never meant what you did to me
Then it’s better and kinder and safer to be:
Nothing (x5)

~~~ For my process, and thoughts on the song go to my Youtube - they allow longer descriptions there ~~~

Music of the Fears

13. Nothing - A Song for The Lonely

Inspired by the Amphibia episode Hop 'Til You Drop - especially Sprig's unstoppable urge to touch everything on Earth! "I'll be on my best behavior, take a walk in your world with me"

Walk in Your World (With Me)

My gateway into understanding Sprig's character often comes back to his parents, or lack thereof. This season, the team has gone out of their way to show that while he may never have "known" them, their existence and influence are a big elephant in the room for Sprig. This episode in particular, where we see him visibly distraught over the "Tarantulad" movie ending with the main character sending a telepathic message back to his parents telling them that he finally found his home, and Sprig subsequently being inspired to become the same kind of superhero shows that those themes are ramping up and could play a big role in the second half of the season. Long story short, this song is about that. - S

Spare a Little Love

This is a song I wrote about the trans experience! Even though it’s not easy, the amount of joy I now feel is unreal. We still have a long way to go but it feels like the journey back when you’ve been longing for home.

Journey Home

Spider - Bo Burnham

Original song inspired by Sprig Plantar and that heartbreakingly gorgeous ending of "Hopping Mall"

Lyrics:
Why have I come here again?
To piece together what has been
Something back in time, something in my mind
Something from my past, something that won’t come back
Something that I need, but have never known
Someone who left me long ago

A piece of me is gone, oh, but I don’t know quite where it fits
A part of me will never heal, but I’m not sure what it is
Can you feel alone when all you’ve ever known is right in front of you
And you never left?
And can you Miss Someone that you never really met?

Shadows in my memory
Images I can’t be sure I’ve ever seen
Was she someone brave, was she someone strong?
Am I what she wanted – did I get it wrong?
Is she out there watching, does she hang around?
Does it even matter now?

A piece of me is gone, oh, but I don’t know quite where it fits
A part of me will never heal, but I’m not sure what it is
Can you feel alone when all you’ve ever known is right in front of you
And you never left?
And can you Miss Someone that you never really met?

If I could ask her just one thing, what would I say?
If she could answer would this feeling go away?
Can you feel alone when all you’ve ever known is right in front of you
And you never left?
And can you Miss Someone that you never really met?

Watch Amphibia Season 2 on DisneyNOW: https://disneynow.com/shows/amphibia

16 Objectification

bob._.urnham

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