my old bedroom window
past the trees, where i laid on dead grass and had my first kiss
we'd sit on my desk with a pillow from my bed
my makeup done, i'd smoke a cigarette

i'd ride my bike on cobblestone
when we'd take the bus, and he'd walk me home
i'd see my own reflection as i ride by a shop window
its late at night

still 17, sweet beauty queen
but if i recall, i was just as mean
i'd wear fishnet tights, 
give him a kiss on the cheek,
end scene.

now i'm only half a person
now i'm only half alive
now if i can bear to adore myself, i'm a fool for staying inside
if it doesn't get cold in november
if a sunny day breaks my heart
i could go back to that party?
how things were
how things are

i stare at the skyline
i stare at my hands
i stare at a city I can't understand
a place i can't trust, still it's familiar too?
a place that i hate, because it belongs to you

i ride my bike on a soulless road
get homesick for places i'd never call home
i see the same reflection as i ride by
the same sad girl with the same sad eyes

still 17, sweet beauty queen
well, if i recall, i was just as mean
i'd wear fishnet tights, 
give him a kiss on the cheek,
end scene.

now i'm only half a person
now i'm only half alive
now if i can bear to adore myself, i'm a fool for staying inside
if it doesn't get cold in november
if a sunny day breaks my heart
i could go back to that party?
how things were
how things are

how things were, how things are (2020) - 7:9:21, 7.43 Pm

im back after a hiatus recorded this with my call center mic , Edelweiss was my favorite song as a kid

Lola Bay

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