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Ah-pen-yen

Lyrics by Daria Geske

In a world that's like a game, 
Being queer can feel the same, 
Like an NPC, 
I'm in the back, 
No control, no agency, just a hack. 

I see the players all around,  
They move with ease, their feet on the ground,  
But I am stuck, I cannot move,  
I feel invisible, like I have nothing to prove. 

I long to be a player too, 
To have a say in what I do, 
To choose my path, to make my mark,  
To be seen and heard, to light up the dark. 

But sometimes I feel like I'm not real, 
That I'm just a character in someone's reel, 
A stereotype, a token, a prop, 
A mere decoration, to be used and then dropped. 

I want to break free from this game…  
To live my life without any shame, 
To be accepted for who I am,  
To be seen as a person, not just a program. 

So let's rewrite the rules of this game, 
Let's challenge the norm, let's break the chain,  
Let's embrace the diversity of all,  
And let each individual stand tall.  

For being queer is not a flaw,
It's a unique trait, a special draw, 
And though it may feel like being an NPC, 
Together, we can create a world where all are free. 

I shed the skin I once wore, 
A transformation to adore, 
The person I was, now no more, 
A new life I embrace and explore. 

Living in fear, trying to please, 
Society's norms, their beliefs, 
But their attacks didn't cease, 
Till I decided to break free.  

I killed the person I used to be, 
To live my truth and finally see, 
The person I was always meant to be, 
Living my life fearlessly.  

A metamorphosis, painful but true, 
A journey of self-love, long overdue,
I stand tall and proud, as I pursue, 
The life I was always meant to do.
No longer living in fear and shame, I embrace my true self, unashamed,
A phoenix risen from the flames, 
A new life, a new name. 

I killed a part of me to live, 
A death that brought forth life anew,
A fear that once consumed my heart,  
No longer holds its hold so true.  

I shed the skin of who I was, 
A shell that couldn't hold my soul, 
A metamorphosis profound, 
A transformation, my life's goal.  

I couldn't bear to live in fear, 
To please those who would hate me still, 
So I cast off that mask I wore,
And let my true self have its fill.

I am reborn, a new creature now,
And though the journey's just begun,
I walk with pride and newfound grace, 
My battle hard, but it is won. 
I live with courage, not with fear,  
My heart and soul now free to soar.

And though the road may not be clear, 
My strength will guide me evermore.

Track included in the LP "Monoliths and Greetings" released on People Can Listen Label (PCLLP024)
@peoplecanlisten

The image for the cover is a painting by the Polish artist Katarzyna Karpowicz, "Monoliths and Greetings", oil on canvas, 110cm X 110cm, 2017.
katarzynakarpowicz.pl/#

Mastering by Optionica: @optionica

Released date: 16/02/2024
peoplecanlisten.bandcamp.com/album/pcll…-greetings

LP on Bandcamp

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