On Demand

Trippin - Strange X Zayhendo

I'm the reason I can't relax. 
Attack the idea of being foreign to myself. 
Help, but the words come out strained. 
I'm engrained in my own brain trapped in words I can't say. 
I'm always a little late to the punch lines. 
I can't seem to ever be on time to the party. 
Hardly can I even say that I'm worth to get to know. 
Its so low that sometimes the thoughts stick like on a humid hot day. 
Most say this goes away and only comes back on rainy days. 
But most of my days are filled with rain. 
Lying in lies built by me, I scream obscenities  to the mirror reflection. 
Bathe myself in correction but my mind is always lose. 
I am loosing the ability to care, I dare you to try to help this. 
I'm at a loss on how to fix this, see I know what I am supposed to do.. But sometimes I wish I didn't have to. 
I loathe the idea of actually healing because I've been stuck in this place of pealing my skin off inch by inch. 
Used to the pain that it makes me flinch without it. 
I doubt that I will be anything more than a mistake but those are the lies I bathe in. 
They are not mine to own but I can't.. I just can't hone the idea that I'm what others see. 
I would run towards it with glee if I could just only.. believe it.
That these words would not only be read but felt. 
That I would be held when I don't know the answers. 
That the dancers of my soul would not quiet when I feel lost. 
That I wouldn't be tossed into bins of forgotten people. 
Weeping to be found. I want to stand my ground on the depression that tries to rip me asunder.
I want thunder to rip through my tongue but sometimes only pools of blood seep from the unknown wounds that I have long forgotten.
Haunting nightmares that I only wish to tear myself from.

Cant Relax

[Verse 1]
I was a ghost to the public and she came back just to leave
I find I'm mostly discovered in places caught up in suffering
I couldn't spend this time that I get
Where you recommended I'm so upset
It's my intention love and protect you
When I'm reflecting I just don't get you
[Chorus]
Caught em while they back track
When I'm back stabbed had the kid ignored
I think I'm having bad luck I got black cats standing on my porch
And it's not my life so do what you wanted
Where the hell is your remorse
I'm going through a bad patch
Making friends with the cat undеr my porch

[Verse 2]
She never been with a guy likе me
Said she never felt loved
I'm so much better I try to be
Lately not give a fuck
I was in love with the past
And kept looking past all of the shit that you did for me
You making time for your ex
And I'm caught up on mine guess it's time that you hated me
[Pre-Chorus]
Caught em while they back track
When I'm back stabbed had the kid ignored
I think I'm having bad luck I got black cats standing on my porch
And it's not my life so do what you wanted
Where the hell is your remorse
I'm going through a bad patch
Making friends with the cat under my porch
[Chorus]
Caught em while they back track
When I'm back stabbed had the kid ignored
I think I'm having bad luck I got black cats standing on my porch
And it's not my life so do what you wanted
Where the hell is your remorse
I'm going through a bad patch
Making friends with the cat under my porch

[Outro]
I know this isn't what I want
I'ma paint the walls of the prison in my mind
When I hit the high hopes they get ripped up outta sight
I'ma waste your time if I feel your wasting mine
Girl I said I know this isn't what I want
I'ma paint the walls of the prison in my mind
When I hit the high hopes I'ma rip you outta sight
I been through enough I probably leave her when the night ends

BLACKCAT

With the shadow hand of Power

Burns the boundaries of weakness,

Grows in the ashes the sprout of Self

Was below now I ascend

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