My dear friend requested a song about self-harm. I was happy to do comply, since I have far too many friends who have struggled with self-harm and are still struggling with it. I have never self-harmed, so I don’t know what it’s like from a personal experience, but I really did my best in writing this song.

If you're struggling with self-harm or depression, this song is dedicated to you.
•••
When light turns into darkened skies
just because it was bright and you shut your eyes
and the sounds are harsh upon your ears
and every day is your greatest fear
and your reflection makes you shiver…
When your home is cold and your face is warmthey say, “It’s your fault, I have done no harm.”
and your skin is metal, your face a trap
and you’ve lost everything and you can’t get it back;
that’s when you start to need the river. 

You will stumble home in the street-lit night
with no scars to show from the daily fight
save the broken heart and the curled up spine
that have snapped and lowered over time
until your very bones have withered.
You may smile and laugh and pretend you’re fine
but you’re so much more than a warning sign
and that night, inside of your locked up heart
you will snuff the light, draw the blade in dark
and you will start to bleed the river. 

You’ll let the river run dry
let the paper skin bleed through
and on the inside you will die, die, die
for that’s the only thing to do. 

When the pain is old but the scars are new
and you dig much deeper than you used to do
and the bathroom tiles are your new best friend
and your greatest wish is to let it end:
a wish on which you will deliver,
and the people all around you see
that you’re not as you pretend to be
and you cringe in fear as they extend a hand
even as it drags you onto sand
out from the red and rushing river. 

You must stand up slowly and with great care
taste the choking wave of precious air
it will hurt like nothing you’ve felt before
to be standing upright on the shore
so small you’re barely but a sliver.
It is hard to do but I know you can
as you drag your feet across the sand
and you’ll look at the faces you thought you knew
and some of them will be smiling at you
and you won’t go back into the river. 

Let the river run by
you’re going someplace warm and new
and all those bad dreams will die, die, die
for they are not as strong as you.

River Run

Original song by the fabulous PhemieC! Covered modestly and with respect.

Furever (cover by Rosielord)

Star Trek fansong! Inspired by Star Trek: Into Darkness bc it was a fun movie with a cool villain. Listen with headphones for the best sound!
•••
I don’t sleep, because when I do I dream
about darkness and death, and each final breath
and all the other things I’ve seen. 

Perhaps that’s why I never shut my eyes
because staying awake is all that it takes
to make you feel like you can’t die. 

Cold, so cold; nothing left to hold
as I fell and I fell, trapped in the cell
of my mind, now centuries old. 

Don’t dare weep for the secrets they keep
into darkness with your friends, if you didn’t want this to end
then you should have let me sleep. 

So listen closely, pay attention
because you’re not safe anymore.
I’m here to tell you your own story
I’m here to settle older scores. 

What would you do for your family?
Would you let them set fire to the sky?
Now that they’re weapons for the enemy
I’ve got seventy-two reasons to die.
So hurt them, and I promise,
I’ll make things go awry. 

I’ve loved and lost, these paths that cross
aren’t destiny or fate, but justice come too late
I’ve won this game, and at such cost. 

Don’t you see there’s so much more to be
than killers and killed, you know you’ll lose the thrill
when death becomes your final plea. 

I listened closely, paid attention
and I’ve been quiet, patient, sly
this is the ending to my story
no bang, no death and no goodbye.


What did you do for your family?
You let them set fire to the sky.
You’ve made yourself become the enemy
now which of us deserves to die?
Congratulations, captain
you made things go awry. 

So here we are, bearing each other’s scars
this precipice is more than just two sides at war
it’s life against life, the sky against stars.

Awry

In honor of the recent homestuck upd8s, I present to you a Jade Harley song! 
•••
I had a dream and in this dream I could fly
I fell asleep and woke up where auguries paint the sky
and I saw dust up in the clouds and I got futures in my eye
or maybe it’s the other way ‘round?
I’ll never know until I come back down.

I had an island and this island was home
a crescent moon of rock and magma, many depths unknown
who knows where it is now, I’ve gone, I’ve wandered and I’ve roamed
or maybe it’s the other way ‘round?
well, I’ll never know until my island’s found.

We’re now well past “game over,” but this ship is sailing on
New planets and new players, new dusks and days and dawns
I’ve powered up, I’ve buckled down, I’ve got a brand new face
and I’ll never be a waste of Space.

I had a future and this future was vast
the light at the tunnel’s end was so much brighter than the past
but darkness fell and things were grim, I should have known it couldn’t last
I’ll sit here in this corner and weep.
I’ll try my hardest not to fall a–

I had a life, and this life, it was mine
it flew by like a breath, like flashing lights, like passing time
but I went bad and barking mad – I found my way and lost my mind
or maybe it’s the other way ‘round?
Well, now I’m too familiar with the ground.
Crushed, deceased, defeated and house-bound
I guess I’m lost until my body’s found.

Adventure time is over, friends, or at least we’re getting there
I hope our story never ends, but life is never fair.
Learn but don’t look back too much, reset but don’t erase;
now my body is a waste of Space.

Waste Of Space

When I was in elementary school, I found the greatest comfort in the heroines of children's literature. My role models were Coraline Jones, Hermione Granger, and Gratuity Tucci – the spectacular hero of my all-time favorite book: The True Meaning of Smekday, by Adam Rex. After all these years, I've decided to pay my respects to that wonderful novel, so here it is - the Smekday fansong!

The cover art is courtesy of Adam Rex himself. I thank him from the bottom of my heart.
•••

You think you’re better ‘cause you lived a little longer
think you’re bigger ‘cause you stand up straighter
let me tell you that I’ve dealt with taller
and stronger and louder than you.

I may be small but I’ve a lot of smarts and
I’m quicker than those academic farts and
for one so tiny, I’ve got a lot of heart and
I’m braver than grown-ups, too.

I’m eleven and I can do anything.

I drove across this empty promise, crowded land
I saw the monsters and the people hand in hand
I saved the world and I learned one thing in the end:
there’s no such thing as perfect monsters
and some of them are friends.

It’s all a whirl of moles and mice and tool kits
and driving hover cars without a permit
and mortifying doesn’t even cover it
sure was a crazy year.

Don’t say I’m too young for this and that ‘cause
I’ve bested creatures twice my size with cat fuzz
and I’m the most heroic girl there ever was
yet no one knew I was here.

I’m still eleven, and I’ll do anything.

I never thought that I would end up driving
into a little guy who sent me flying
across the wasteland of a species dying
under a scabbed faux-moon.

I guess I never thought a lot of things that
are now as real as any mouse or cloned cat.
But thanks to things that I thought I was bad at
the monsters are leaving soon.

I was eleven, and I did everything.

I won us back our rightful home, our only land
The outcasts, orphans and my best friend lent a hand.
I saved the world and I learned one thing in the end:
we are the best kind of monster
and we’ll always be friends.

Perfect Monsters

In honor of fifty years with Doctor Who (and the incredible fiftieth anniversary episode.)

Special thanks to my lovely little sis, who played the clarinet!
•••
We are something you cannot recall, just on the tip of your tongue
just a moment lost in the fabric of everything, all space and time and the war that you’ve won
and you tried to forget us, you had too, we guess, and Doctor, you tried to move on
but time gets rewritten, and as for the rest: forgotten, but never gone.

We are two billion children you counted, one death at a time
and we hung there over your head and your heart, your forgotten crime
and you needed to forget us, but you never could, no Doctor, you never moved on
and time got rewritten, now it’s as it should be: never forgotten, and no longer gone.

We are Gallifrey, Gallifrey is our home
we will light the way, guide the way when you roam
we are not lost, but just misplaced
we are your most familiar face
we are Gallifrey, Gallifrey, home.

We are golden and older than time itself, older with each passing day
lying locked in the ticking of clocks after you lit the skies of poor Gallifrey
and your heart grew so heavy, with each dying scream, and you knew you could never go on
but now that you’re ready, you’ve faced the dark past, it’s time to right your worst wrong.

We are everything you ever knew, every last thing that you are
and now we are painted both of your hearts, shining bright as the stars
and you’ll never forget us, and we won’t forget you, and now as the time’s moving on
come home, oh Doctor, to where you belong, where the things that are gone are not truly gone

We are Gallifrey, Gallifrey is our home
we will light the way, guide the way when you roam
we are not lost, but just misplaced
we are your most familiar face
we are Gallifrey, Gallifrey, home.

We Are Gallifrey (a Doctor Who waltz)

A song commissioned by flat-san. She wanted a song written about her story, "The Midnight Children." And here it is!

Please try headphones for the best sound. :)
•••
It was a January day
unlucky numbers clouded visions full of gray
but I opened up my eyes for the first the first time, in a way
and I screamed, and I screamed, and screamed.

It was a bright August-ian face
that smiled at me and brought me out of my disgrace
and laughed a little bit and said that she’d join in the chase
so we dreamed, and we dreamed, and dreamed.

He had a warm September death
just slipped away upon the wisp of final breath
and I found him in a haze of those we cannot forget
who left but never moved on.

And in July I tripped and fell
I heard a crack and felt a pain and gave a yell
and now I stumble sideways, and I do it pretty well
and I may be broken, but at least the pain is gone.

I’m about as special as a glass of water
but I can see the faces of the after-slaughter
and I’m covered in the scars of the things that no one sees
and I could have the whole world down on its knees
and the end.

It was a January sky
looming overhead when I first wished I could die
but I opened up my eyes and I let them cry
and I cried and I cried and I cried.

And on a fateful April day
an April girl and I stood on a world that went astray
and I saw my own fate and threw my life away
and I died, how I died, how I died.

I’m about as special as a glass of water
but I can see the faces of the after-slaughter
and I’ll never grow up but I’ve already grown old
and mine is the story that will never be told
the story of the boy and his midnight friends
and the end.

January Day

I had a stretch of time to myself today and I thought I'd like to record something. A friend of mine had suggested a while ago that I do a Kate Nash cover, so I made a little thing with one of my favorite Kate Nash songs. It's not nearly as awesome as the original, but unlike Kate herself, I had to make do without a British girl band backing me up. 

Fun little way to spend my morning :) Also yes, I know I said "bum." Ahahaha. Scatalogically hilarious, I'm aware.

Merry Happy (cover)

my microphone is shit, also im shit
hi shit im dad

Mad World

Walking Disasters - The Wombats

Sun - two door cinema club

Another cover - this time, my favorite love song of all time, "The Luckiest" by Ben Folds. I swear, I'm gonna get back on doing this "Monthly" thing.

I'm going to take this opportunity to mention that my commissions are OPEN AGAIN! They'll probably be open all summer. You can find all my info here: http://therosielord.tumblr.com/commissions

The Luckiest (Cover)

Million Dollar Man - Lana Del Rey

When my unfairly talented friend Declan ( http://gallifreyananglerfish.tumblr.com/ ) told me that he was arranging my song "Our Physician" for a full orchestra, I did not expect anything nearly as utterly fantastic as what he eventually showed me. I am not even kidding when I say I was so overwhelmed when I first heard the finished song that I actually cried a little. Of course, because that's the kind of friend I am, I finished the deed and recorded the vocals over his beautiful orchestral arrangement.

And so, I humbly present the first (and hopefully not the last) Rosielord/GallifreyanAnglerfish collaboration to date. We hope you all enjoy it!

Our Physician: Orchestral

i was at their concert last night okay so here tis
also my capo is loose so excuse the weird noises from the guitar, it sounds so tinny

God & Satan - Biffy Clyro

Remember when I said I wish I could do harmonies by myself? Same

Mr. Brightside Ukulele Cover

Your Kisses - Daughter

Yes I know, why the hell am I singing country?

Travelling Soldier - Dixie Chicks

R U Mine - Arctic Monkeys

A song for John Egbert - to complete the Beta Kids quartet!
Probably my favorite A Capella song I've done yet. Hope you all enjoy!
•••

It seems like it’s been ages since I’ve been home
I don’t even know what it feels like anymore.
I don’t dream but if I did I know
I’d dream of walking up the steps and opening the door
and seeing too many birthday cakes
and urns filled with ashes
and too many posters with too many memories.
I wouldn’t dream of rainbow blood
and skin with all these slashes
and things that never should have been set free.

It hasn’t been that long yet, relatively
but everything can change in just a passing second
you know how some birthdays can feel like nothing much
but other feel like centuries are lit upon your bones
and I guess that’s a lesson learned
if I’m doing the learning
how there’s not much difference between one second and the next
but that makes the difference
just that little second
between breathing and not breathing anymore.

and I haven’t had a moment to catch my breath
It seems every time I blink I see nothing but death
nothing but death
nothing but death, death, death, death.

I’ve learned a thing or two about nostalgia
like how it creeps upon you like it was always there
and how each little thing can then remind you
like little jokes and rubber bands and bobs of snow white hair
and how each passing moment 
is tinged with sharp regret
but passes so quickly you can’t even see it go
and we are all moments
just these blips in time
passing so quickly I can’t even say hello.

I punch holes in the film of time I’m without reason without rhyme
you’d think it would make me wise but it just makes me dead inside.

I know that it’s been ages since I’ve been home
I don’t even know if I had one anyway
maybe it was destiny or chance
but alchemy took over me and carried me away
to where planets crash and burn
and people become gods
and we get no choice in whether we’re human or not
and it’s no matter who we’ve lost
there’re games that must be played
but I remember what they all forgot.

and I haven’t had a moment to catch my breath
It seems every time I blink I see nothing but death
nothing but death, death, death, death, death, death
So give me just one moment to catch my…


heh

lord swaggington