Snow madness in the act passage

When we recorded this so much hadn't happened yet

Lost Final Episode

We talk about love island, love and islands, suicide, psychoanalysis, roids and rock hard rigs.

Welcome to the mainland

We give a run down of how Love Island actually works, tell some jew jokes, talk about the madonna/whore complex, scarcity and desire, love and surprise, think about what the 'dark' in 'tall dark and handsome' means and talk about the anxiety that comes from floatin' free

Ladies and gentlemen we are floating *through* space

We talk about what makes the Dick Energy small, how paranoia leads to brainwashing, explore the mechanics of crushing and find out when a crush becomes love. Let us take you back to a time before the Juul vapour was extremely infectious.

Small Dick Energy

A huge episode! We play you some Enya finally, do a reading of Freud's famous paper on negging, address the excess of juice in this season, clarify some Spanish pronunciations, try to work out what flotsam, ships, yachts, boats and bits of wood have to do with love, and take a look at what Sophie’s bisexuality might mean for our favourite painted-egg.

This isn't even dating, this is survival

In our first iso epi recorded over Zoom (can you hear me?), we take a deep dive into Sophie Gradon's history, wonder if love is the thing that kills us all, make some anti-semitic remarks about farting, air our shared misunderstandings of astrology (Cancer is the best sign as everyone know), and beg Danny Cipriani once more to come on the pod.

Don't forget to rate and review us in the Podcast app, we love it when you guys do that omg xx

Survival of the fittest

In this long and strong episode we talk about the actual stats on reality TV suicide rates, think about the way humans show affection by joining up their gastrointestinal tracts, realise that Jesus was just a Jungian/bad philosophy-bro housemate, compare TV cameras to the super-ego, think about hating the ones we love, and try to work out if Cara and Nathan fucked. Sam also begins the transition of the pod from love island gossip sesh to Lacan reading group.

Article we referred to: 
https://www.thewhitepube.co.uk/love-island

Song at the end is “Eminence” from new release by Melbourne band “Personal Touch”, find here:
https://open.spotify.com/album/7gb8BHEWdoaXV4QqMYfAbV?si=pE5AbES3RAOJ1LFKLYBCCA

A blood filled bubble

Is corona an STD? Why are vampires so much wealthier than zombies? Why won't Sophie fuck Tom? What, in the final analysis, is so sweet about the sweetest taboo?

Psychoanalysis article we refer to: https://bit.ly/lovemainlandpaper

Rimming in the time of corony

In this epi we rate philosophers by hotness, talk about neuroscience and psychoanalysis, and discuss whether it’s possible to know what love is (cf. Foreigner). It takes us 41 mins of ancillary discussion to get to direct Love Island commentary though we would argue it’s all relevant; like why is Sophie so dedicated to the relationship with Tom when it’s clear she doesn’t like him that much? The fatal mystery... tbh, we were pretty drunk for this one. ENJOY?!

Everybody's favourite twink

Once again *nearly* too drunk to podcast.

Incest or "the ick"?

We are so so sorry we left you to your own devices for a whole month but we both had some essential worker-ing to do, pandemic style. But now we're back, and tbh stupider than ever, taking a look at what precise parts of the genitals are "pornographic", what to do if you're dad is cooler than you, and we try work out what the deal is with some people's body counts... Actually if you’ve fucked more than 350 people in your sex career please get in touch with us we need to understand the maths.

Read my lips

A thoroughly mediocre episode. Alana was too drunk, Sam was too sober. We talk about newsagents for a while.

Naughty on TV

We try to do some ASMR, wonder whether it's love if it's not lethal, discuss the different types of plastic surgery, rediscover an Aussie Classic Track, we do a lot of terrible British accents, can't work out UK geography, and we hassle each other for No Good Reason. ENJOY!

The ASMR Episode

We got a bunch of people who have never watched Love Island before to watch episode 22 and give us their thoughts. You'll hear from:

Evelyn Araluen and Jonathan Dunk - Co-editors of Overland Literary Journal, writers, and funny cunts.

Jake Goldenfein - law academic w a PhD in privacy and surveillance.

Lily Keil - writer, editor, and UX writer.

Alana and Sam - idiots.

Three Interviews With Clever Friends

We discuss the intricacies of the Big Jack vs. Big Mac debate (Hungry Jacks sponsor us pls), wonder what makes a suncream "physical", Sam considers the perks of being a brick-layer, we discuss the best title for the next of the Carry On films, talk about the popular conceptions concerning strippers, think about what makes a subculture sub, and wonder as always about Liana's pumped up lips. It was Alana's birthday last week so wish her love on the insta @love_mainland.  And if the COVID numbers keep improving this'll be the last remote recorded one so look forward to better sound from next week... ENJOY!

The burgers are better

We revisit the eternal themes of "type on paper" and "tall, dark and handsome", what it means to be "official" and whether love can be "more than official" and briefly wade into the theological underpinnings of the Jews for Jesus movement.

A world of very limited categories

We got pretty serious for this one... erudite even; while trying to crack the algorithm of love. We talked about the difference between wanting, and "wanting to want", how the love-couple can elevate even the shittiest individuals,  and about the different approaches to breaking-up.

Wanting to want

We wonder what a soul-mate is, and address the associated issue of The One; we consider whether fighting for someone’s love can work, talk about burgers again, and having already addressed the difference between wanting and “wanting to want” we now look into the difference between needing and wanting. At some point we also muddle our way through the idea of “star crossed” love… By the way we’re aware there is long history of erudite Shakespeare scholarship. This is not that. xx

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Wants

An index poem of this episode:

Mondegreens
Pleasure principle and death drive vis-à-vis Rock n roll 
Extreme ironing
Facebook humiliations of yesteryear 
Earth girls are easy 
Cancel culture would wipe out the 80s and 90s
Predator as a Jew - Post link to conference YouTube 
Alana’s other fave reality Tv show - Alone 
Love island - at 22 mins 
Is it ever not suspicious when an ex wants to be besties with your current partner?
Sex without a blanket vs under the blanket 
Everyone hates Sophie 
Why can’t Alana pronounce villa correctly? 

And the link to which we referred:

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/344168613_Aliens_vs_Predators_Cosmopolitan_Jews_vs_Jewish_Nomads

#notallpredators (are alien sport hunters)

Sam thinks this a really cute epi... We talk about gender neutral signifiers of familial relations, which leads us into incest - again! ;)
Sam gets controversh about bisexuality - again! ;)
(Heterosexuality - the most mainstream kink)
Sophie’s bisexuality and how the villa responds (surprise - the guys lose their shit)
And then we have a chat about SQUIRTING - a segue that might get us into hot water... enjôī

SQUIRT INCEST BISEXUALITY

It's our twentieth episode!!! In which we wonder whether a restaurant is a shop, Sam talks at length about Transnistria (incl what kind or shops they have). At around 14 mins we start talking (briefly) about Love Island. We think abut Acting Out & address the masochism of the man who wants to “be tamed” and we find out just how close to the surface Love Islanders keep their neuroses. We talk yet again about incest, and its place in Back to the Future, Big, and the Taken trilogy, and we finally get around to our take on the incel "nice guy" syndrome.

Check our instagram for a link to our 20 love song long 20th episode playlist. It was supposed to be released in 2020 but now it's the 20 for 20 in 2021.

Shopping in the Transnistria Autonomous Territorial Unit with Special Legal Status

A podcast about Love Island and its Discontents. Tune in weekly as we explore the psychopathology of everyday TV. Since 2016 three stars from Love Island UK have committed suicide; did the island kill them or did we send them there to die? Is there really any water between the island and the mainland?

Theme music by Thomas William Smith
Logo by Studio Vinciguerra

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