a song for an angel i have yet to meet, i write music for a lover in my dreams

–♡–

i know a place where i can go
i know a place where i can roam 

i call this place home
i know i can go here when im alone

im safe here,
always

rainbows – flowers – i see them here
'where have they come from?' i ask myself

rainbows and flowers, they draw me near
i followed you here, i asked for you here

i see you here
you say, ‘come close’
i say, ‘i love you’
you say, ‘i know’
i say, ‘please, may i have a touch?’
you say, ‘you must wait – patience, my dear. isnt that clear?’
i say, ‘i wish i could come near’

patience, my dear

i see these colors, i see my heart in your hand,
you do not know me; you do not see me; you do not feel me, but i wait until you do

its okay, i love you, i will wait until its time
what else can i do?

what else can i do?

for an angel i have yet to meet (unedited)

another song off princesa mariposa!
-
a beast of a girl, the sneer of a wolf 
the beast of a girl emerges from the fog 

unearthed from this heart, 
wretched free 
thrust into a world, unprepared 

a beast of a girl, the sneer of a wolf 
the beast of a girl, emerges from the fog 

the earth beneath her claws, she finds her way here 
on the prowl, she lurks in the shadows of my heart 

a beast of a girl, the sneer of a wolf 
the beast of a girl emerges from the woods 
our loved ones are buried here 
and so are we 

a beast of a girl, a growl comes from her throat 
feral and pure, she sings, "i love you" 
"i need you" 

where have you been? i don't know 
where did you go? i don't know 

i am lost 
i have lost myself within these woods

a beast of a girl

a song i wrote in june as an ode to healing from ever overextending myself
–❁–
i open wide
i open wide
i’d open wide for you

the ferocity of my felinity comes out to play
she seeks balance with the canine
she seeks unity

i have been opened wide
the pelt does not hold the soul

in becoming the perfect vessel, i hollowed myself out
in becoming the perfect lover, i emptied myself out
in becoming the perfect daughter, i lost my wings
in becoming the perfect guide, i lost myself (i lost myself)

my eyes are opened as the hand of divinity descends upon me
as i grow
as i heal
as i begin to know

i tied the blindfold and now she works through the knot

i open wide for myself.

unity and balance

a little over a year ago, i was singing on the spot at 3am n came up with this song 💗 its only just now that im finally editing it :-) i hope you enjoy 💗 
❁
i know a place where i can go
i know a place where i can roam

i call this place home
i know i can go here when im alone

im safe here,
always

rainbows – flowers – i see them here
'where have they come from?' i ask myself

rainbows and flowers, they draw me near
i followed you here, i asked for you here

i see you here
you say, ‘come close’
i say, ‘i love you’
you say, ‘i know’
i say, ‘please, may i have a touch?’
you say, ‘you must wait – patience, my dear. isnt that clear?’
i say, ‘i wish i could come near’

patience, my dear

i see these colors, i see my heart in your hand,
you do not know me; you do not see me; you do not feel me, but i wait until you do

its okay, i love you, i will wait until its time
what else can i do?

what else can i do?

for an angel i have yet to meet

i originally wrote the lyrics to this song last july, but didnt do anything with it. i changed a line or two and just added chords to it to accompany a lil art video i made on instagram :-) i hope you enjoy!!! its designed to be listened to on repeat
–💗–
the absence of love is the absence of light during the spring of creation
palms up and fingers outspread, i reach into the heart of the world
a sense of yearning creeps through my bones
i open as i close

i create a sanctuary of peace for my heart and for yours

the absence of love (loop)

i wrote this song seven months ago, addressing and dismissing the two heartbreaks i had endured and still held onto. i offered those past lovers my presence and energy, nourishing and pouring my love into them, only to be left dry. i hid my hurt behind smiles n softness but it was still ever present when things got quiet. i wondered.. was it all in my head or was it real at some point. did i ever make their hearts skip a beat in the same way that mine did? not in the soft and sappy way, but in fear of losing me. were they ever afraid of losing me?

–♡–

the well of my heart pours into the garden of your love
come sip from the cup of my palms
it holds liquid sunlight and shadows

tender violence hides beneath fallen leaves
and i step away
i find somewhere else to stay

come, come
come to me
come, come
come see me

come, come
come to me
come, come
come meet me

the well of my heart has only twice run dry
but the gardens never lost their life
the shadows of my palms mask the tears i have wiped away

tender silence slinks beneath tall grass
so i take a seat
have i ever made your heart skip a beat?

come, come
come to me
come, come
come see me

come, come
come to me
come, come
come know me

fallen water (use headphones)

i've missed writing love songs, so here's a little song i wrote addressed to an angel. or perhaps its what i need to hear myself

"will you love me in the dying light?" an angel asked me
"will you love me when i've lost my sight?"

"i'll come to you, i'll care for you – 'til the ends of the earth
i love you, i need you... i'm here for you.
"i will love you in the dying light,
i will love you even when you've lost your sight... i am forever yours"

i will love you in the dying light

i have been feeling deeply called to the forest – called back to my home. i sing from the heart.

–♡–

deep into the forest
and deep into my heart
i dig my hands into the soft, lush dirt
the darkness around me has simply been the soil
i’ve needed to grow

i lose myself amongst the earth
i find myself ready for rebirth 
i burn it all down
and come out clean

deep into the forest
and deep into my heart
i dance amongst the flowers that have grown
these flowers are my own

la cazadora

woke up a lil early before work a few days ago and found myself feeling nostalgic and called to to singing it out 💗 here's a lil improvised song i wrote on the spot. a letter to my past lovers from the bottom of my heart. acknowledging that this feeds a bit into victimization though lol

–💗–

there is a place where i call home
there is a place where i rest my soul

i see you through the fog
and reach out my hand to you 
but you pull away

i wonder where we’d be
if you still chose to be with me

there is a place that i used to go
there is a place that i no longer can call home

i used to live in your arms
i used to live in your heart
mine is still home to you
forever, no matter what you do

a letter to past lovers

writing this song was very cathartic for me. it allowed me to release past frustrations as well as clear away the false, sugarcoated memories that nostalgia brought me. relationships bring growth in every way and i am grateful to have these opportunities to challenge my heart and resolve. 

–♡–

i've been thinking about you a lot 
the way i learned to brush your hair
the way i kissed you everywhere
the way your hand fit into mine
the way we lost so much time

i’ve been dreaming about you a lot
the way i learned to read your face
the way the cake i baked you tasted
the way you’d always gaze at me
the way you’d cry when i’d leave

i’ve been thinking about you a lot
i’ve been dreaming about you a lot
i’ve been crying about you a lot

i’ve been thinking about it a lot
in how my body’d fill with birds
in how i’d lose all my words
in how my hands would shake in yours
in how my nervousness would soar

i’ve been seeing through it a lot
in how i’d never get to speak
in how i’d choke to keep the peace
in how i ‘couldn’t take a joke’
in how i lost to the smoke

i’ve been thinking about it a lot
i’ve been dreaming about it a lot
i’ve been crying about it a lot

nostalgia’s a liar – nostalgia’s a thief
twisting sad memories into happy stories

i left you for a long time, but you left me first
texts left on delivered and voicemails going unheard

you said that you loved me but did you truly know me?
did you truly see me?
or did you merely want me?

i've been thinking about it a lot
dreaming about it a lot
praying about you a lot

but that's about where it stopped
i've stopped –
thinking about you a lot
crying about you a lot
yearning for you a lot

growing pains

i discovered spirituality around three and a half years ago, but have felt disconnected from the core of it for a while now. here is a song reflecting on the feeling of helpless i hold with being able to connect back + a bit of imposters syndrome. 

–💗–

i used to hold a beautiful power
receiving knowledge that i’d devour
i’d consume everything in my path
i wonder why it didn’t last

i used to focus on the divine
consciously trying to stay aligned
i wouldn’t think of anything else
but cultivating a home for myself

where am i even going?
am i now lost without even knowing it?
someone tell me where this path will lead
for i no longer trust this clarity

when i tapped in, it all made sense
seeing the world through a brand new lens
but it seems like that feeling has left
and now i’m at sea, floating adrift

when they came, i poured out my all
hoping to save them, taking the fall
was it then that i fell from grace?
my power leaving without a trace?

where am i even going?
am i now lost without even knowing it?
someone, please, pull me from this abyss
i don’t think i can take anymore of this

i promise that i’ll hold onto faith
and trust i’ll soon be in a different place
connecting to all the spirits around
and maybe feel i’ve finally been found

where have i been all this time?
is this sorrow even mine?
on hands and knees, begging for sight
praying i’m truly growing towards the light

jasmine mariposa 💗

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