part of you never comes back far from this pull forgotten and all of those i left strewn about the bottom are all our needs anaesthetised recess into a vein numbing weaker chasing dead dreams and cures that never came intrusion i can't stop bear life into me just to feel something in a cold so deadening nothing left to express cold from this dead and rotten and what the vermin left withering discarded a retreat so unclean excess into a vein numbing weaker dead to all things to end this suffering intrusion i can't stop it's taken over me just to feel at peace in a world that brings no such thing

Nepenthe

no one knows this fear no one hears this silent scream crippled condemned yet still alive and i'm left alone to bleed and all i can do is suffer fastened to my fate just a helpless piece of mangled meat i'm left to decay scalding skins from ligaments shackled limbs to meet the saw acceptance in ignorance bellies burn with turgid rot life will end as it began kicking flailing helplessly no one knows this fear
no one hears this silent scream ill pinioned downed and beaten pale anemic pink and all i hear is laughter cackling in my face just a writing piece of rotted meat
dead in my own waste killing blade rips inhumane acts ignored behind closed doors
upside slain for blood to drain dried up on the killing floor life will end as it began kicking flailing helplessly inject me brand me skin me tear me kill me chew me swallow me consume me

 [gear used: waldorf pulse +, dsi evolver, korg n364, ni reaktor 5, elektron machinedrum, roland r8, frostwave resonator, ltd ex-400, boss mt-2, fender stage 100, rode nt1-a, shure sm-57 unidyne III, dbx166, m-audio mobile pre, macbook pro, logic pro 8, reason 3.0.5, izotope ozone, fabfilter volcano, fabfilter pro-c, audio damage replicant, audio damage eos, audio damage kombinat, audio damage roughrider, dfx buffer override, dfx geometer]

Killing Floor

Initially uses motifs from Bulgarian choral music, but this spins away a bit in the end.

Made for a video project with Vincent Comparetto.

Irgendwo in Budapest

I finished this song 8 months ago, and at the time I considered it one of the best things I ever wrote. I sent it around to just about everyone I could think of in hopes I could get some help promoting my musical vision to a wider audience. Everywhere I turned I was rejected, with a generally unanimous "this is really cool, but it doesn't belong here". And so I sat on it until I forgot about it. In the interim, I haven't created a meaningful piece of music since. Considering this song a form of curse, I'm hoping its release can free me to continue making newer and even more imaginative music. Given distance from the song I now see where I need to improve. Regardless, I hope you can enjoy this sound journey I've created.

Free Download

Paragon

In Love With A Shadow - BARA

Lips Like Silver

Fallen Language

Under The Knife

Old recording with a snowball mic, apologies for the peaking.

Hymn (with modified words) is from "What Wondrous Love." 

When I was sinking down, oh my soul.

Pictures Are Gone

I wrote a lot of electronic music over the past 6 years. These are the only 3 I'm happy with.

Fungal Trench

Good4U

Poem/Lyrics by M. H. McFerren,
Art by Fyodor Pavlov

Raven

Lulu Black

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