i wanna
ride my bike
around the lake and back

good evening
sunday ride
just me n my bike

i could never
sell my bike
i love my bike

early morning
eight mile hike
just me n my bike

Me N My Bike

today's a special day
(yay that's great news)
today we celebrate
and drink some beers for you

and oh my gosh
what a beautiful night it is

tonight's a special night
let's party all night long
and piss the neighbors off

and oh my gosh
(oh my gosh)
and it's Mmm delightful outside
and i'm having a wonderful time

and oh my gosh
(oh my gosh)

well if it were to rain
on your special day
i don't think you'd mind it really
cause lately you're just too happy
lately you can't stop smiling x2

Your Special Day

hey! what's up shitbag?
it's your old pal LB
how've you been my friend?
it's been so long since we've last seen

you're lookin' fit
you piece a shit
i'm happy for you man!

my good old friend shitbag 
i'm glad we get this chance to chat
and reminisce 
about the old times

oh shitbag remember those late nights we had?
the good old days went by too fast
my brother my brother's a fine old chap
he'll never get those good days back

shitbag you and i were the best of friends, remember? (right?)
so why do all my letters return to sender my friend
my homeboy, my good old chum
i wonder if you've got
the time
to chill and talk with me

What's Up, Shitbag?

BUGS

Bug Season

you got stung by me and now i'm dyin'
you got a bee allergy oh how excitin'
well now i'm dyin' today
and you are too

pollen

honey

THE QUEEN

well i live and breathe for my queen back at the bee hive
i stung you to protect her now i'm gonna die
x2

you got stung by me and now i'm dyin'
you got a bee allergy oh how excitin'
well now i'm dyin' today
and you are too

you got stung by bees and now you're dyin'
you got a bee allergy oh man i'm cryin'
you got stung by me
and now you're through

Bee Allergy

Amos Moses [Jerry Reed Cover]

Waving My Dick In The Wind [Ween Cover]

Little Diddy

do you remember me
i'v been window watchin' and i'v been watchin' you closely
did you see me
cause i'v been watchin' you like i'v been watchin' TV

you missed my calls
did you recognize my number
or do you even care at all
window watcher window watcher

you blocked my calls
and i just watched you do it
you don't care at all
window watcher window watcher

Window Watcher

i got the blues fellas
i'm sorry but
i got the blues

(so hot)
must be some sort of glitch in space time
(so alike)
tell me what are my chances
two fools and jackasses

i got the blues
i'll never be loved by you

i'll take anything
cause i'm in need
i need you
i just need anybody

i'll fall
i'll fall

i got the blues

The Blues

you came home
and everything was the same as it was when you left
but there's something wrong
cause you could swim through the air in here
and i sunk to the bottom
and i lost my head

and everything was the same as it was when you left
everything was the same as it was when you left
everything was the same as it was when you left

everything was the same as per usual
nothing's changed since you left me at the terminal
but it's tame in comparison
to the pain and embarrassment
from the ill intent
when i sunk to the bottom
and i lost my head

and everything was the same as it was when you left
everything was the same as it was
everything was the same as it was when you left
everything was the same as it was when you left

Same As It Was

ft. Laz

lyrics:

when will u be back again
how long must i wait

Forever 4 U
for you and me
forever it seems

Forever 4 U [Interlude]

i would sing a song for you
but my congestion's acting up
and i would sing a song or two
but my head's all congested

well i would love nothing more than to go on a date
but my congestion's acting up

i would kiss you on your cheek
but i think i might be contagious
so i would keep far away from me

well i would love nothing more than to just be alone
with my congestion

my congestion
is holding me back
and i need medicine
cause i'm sick
and i need to get better

my congestion
is holding me back
and i need medicine
cause i'm sick
and i need to get better

i would nothing more than to love myself
but my congestion

My Congestion

i have no ambition
i sleep right where i stand and
i love my country

well i love my mummy and daddy
and i love thy neighbor too
and i love my bible study

yeehaw
god bless america
ok

my 5 pound 8 ounce baby boy
my heart my soul
my pride and joy

i don't give a fuck
i don't give a shit
i don't give a fuck and
i don't give a shit and

as it seems
the apple don't fall far from the tree
as it seems
the baby just learned his abc's

why do i feel nervous now?
why do i feel afraid?
why do i feel helpless now?
why do i feel caged?
x2

i lost ambition
i'll sleep right where i stand and
i love my country

Baby Boy

i wake up
and it's 7:18
and i'm out of time and
i i'm gonna miss my flight
i'm gonna miss my flight and
i i had a real bad dream
that i had no teeth and
i i i

i'm gonna miss my flight to switzerland
i'm gonna miss my flight to switzerland
i'm gonna miss my flight to switzerland

i lost track
of all the times i'd crack
and all the times i'd cry and
i i lose my mind
when i miss my flight and
i i lost my keys
i lost my car and

i have this dream
where i wake up
and it's 7:18 and
my car won't start
and i'v got no pants on and
of course i am of course i am
i'm gonna miss my flight to switzerland

I'm Gonna Miss My Flight to Switzerland

i'll take a large cheese fries and a
a large coke and i'll
take my drugs and i'll
i'll smoke dope and i'll
smoke my cigs with my
my chapped lips

you can try to change my mind
but you're not changing anything
exercise i'd rather die
die happy or live healthy

i take a shot of rum and i
i pound tums and i
pass out cold when i
i pass stones and i
lost my voice when i
had hemorrhoids and i

you can try to change my mind
but you're not changing anything
exercise i'd rather die
die happy or live healthy
die happy or live healthy

Die Happy or Live Healthy

i can't write a song
and when i do
it's meaningless
to me and you

the fire in me
has gone cold and dark
and i'v got nothing to talk about
but i need a reason to get out of bed
so i got out of bed

i can't write a song
i can't write the next lines to my song
i'v tried so hard
and it's been so long
but i can't write a song
i can't write the next lines to my song

i don't know how to play the drums
but if i did
i'd play that shit

maybe i'll write a love song next
or maybe i'll write nothing special
or maybe i'll write a good song this time
maybe

i can't write a song
i can't write the next lines to my song
i'v tried so hard
and it's been so long
but i can't write a song
i can't write the next lines to my song

I Can't Write a Song

i curse this land
if i can't have it then no one can
me and all my friends
we mean business, man
cause we're business men

we like spicy salty sugary
(i like to bite ya and we'll get yo feet)
we like cozy cracks and comfy sheets
(another fry on the floor for me)

i dug these hills and you will die on them
you mark my words down
we dug these holes and we'll keep digging them

you're poisonous chemicals
won't stop my army of hungry men
you're trespassing
so fuck it we're just gonna let ourselves right in

i might be tiny
(but trust me i can bite ya ankles where it hurts so bad)
and my kind is thriving
(and your kind is just food for ants)

i dug these hills and you will die on them
you mark my words down
we dug these holes and we'll keep digging them
i dug these hills and you will die on them
you mark my words down
we dug these holes and we'll keep digging them

Food For Ants

hear me out
mr boss man
i need to pay for my car and wife
wife wife
she's got an illness you see
and i
don't have the money you seek

so hear me out mr bossman
cause i need to pay for the things i need
need need
and i need both my knees
knees knees
so i must beg of you please

hear me out big sperm
you gotta hear me out big sperm
hear me out big sperm
you gotta hear me out

you gotta hear me out cause
my son he needs surgery
and i
i'v got addictions you see
and i
got laid off just week
please i just need you to

hear me out
mr bossman
cause we've got to pay for our rent and lights
lights lights
oh the beautiful lights
lights lights
ooh the casino

hear me out big sperm
you gotta hear me out big sperm
hear me out big sperm
come on, you gotta hear me out man

Hear Me Out, Big Sperm

bonehead
we all need him
but why would he go
when he can smoke instead

he said, "i can't understand what you're saying to me buddy
you're talking to fast can you slow down for me please"

you bonehead
stupid and arrogant bonehead
it's whatever floats your boat
is that right, bonehead?
you bonehead
selfish and ignorant bonehead
you were lookin' at your phone
is that right, bonehead?

bonehead
listen to me
you're just a bonehead
you're a bonehead
you can't be wrong if you don't know better
bonehead

oh my god
you bonehead
stupid and arrogant bonehead
it's whatever floats your boat
is that right, bonehead?
you bonehead
selfish and ignorant bonehead
you were lookin' at your phone
is that right, bonehead?

Bonehead

hold my hand
and lie motionless with me
my darling

can you tell me
what do you see in me?
cause i don't see a thing
and i can't help but think
that

things change from one day to the next sometimes
and sometimes happens all the times to me
this game is rigged it's hard to win sometimes
but we'll take the cake if you're on my team

(you know i love ya babeh, you know i want ya babeh, you know i need you)

take my hand
you're beautiful to me
my darling
you're everything that i'll ever need
every single thing
and i can't help but sing

la la la la la
(i can't help it)
la la la la la
(oh my goodness gracious)
la la la la la

(you know i love ya babeh, you know i want ya babeh, you know i need you)
(you know i want ya babeh, you know i need you babeh, i need)

A Love Song

crickets and tumbleweeds
in the streets of my old home town
and old larry's barbershop closed down
i wonder is it always this quiet or is it only when i'm around?

crickets and tumbleweeds
at the end of the show
and i sang out my heart and soul
but no one was there so
nobody knows

crickets and tumbleweeds
crumpets and mushy peas
crickets and tumbleweeds
christmas and halloween

Crickets & Tumbleweeds

i don't wanna hear what you're sayin' to me, baby
it's not about the message, baby
it's all about the money, my girlfriend
it's all about the sex, my girlfriend

and we just wanna use your body
and we just wanna own you, honey
i'm gonna control you, dollface
and we're gonna destroy you, dollface

we'll provide your opinions baby
and we'll distract you with drugs and parties
and it's all about your image, my girlfirend
nah it's not about the talent, my girlfriend

we just wanna use your body
and we just gotta have you, honey
i'm gonna control you, dollface
and we're gonna destroy you, dollface

Dollface

on private property
in the dead of night i call your name
and you call me
in a dirty port-a-potty

in a port-a-potty gloryhole

one of us has gotta be outside
uhuh
i'm hoping you brought a flashlight
oh baby there's a hole in the side
that's facing the construction site

it's a gloryhole

there's some really nice houses
on the hillside
for sale by some gay guy
and there's a number
to your right
it's the same number on the for sale sign!

there's a party in the port-a-potty
(S T D and E C O L I it's)
there's a party it's a party in the port-a-potty
(a new type of hepatitis)
it's a party it's a party in the port-a-potty
(it's a new way to die)
it's a party it's a party in the port-a-potty

"hello"
"hello i'm looking for a good time i found this number in a port-a-potty at this construction s-"
"i'll be there in four minutes. i live right down the street.
you might wanna light an incense, i'll be there in about five to six minutes."
"okay sounds good to me... heheheh"

Porta Potty Gloryhole

sometimes
you act like you forget that there's another year comin'
after this and
everyday
you like to forget that there's another day comin'
another day comin'

sometimes
you act like you forget that there's another year comin'
after this and
everyday
you like to forget that there's another day comin'
another day comin' and
everyday
you're waitin' for somethin' to go your way
but nothing ever has
and sometimes you cry
and sometimes you stay up all night

Another Day

do you feel
do you bleed
i was just wondering
i was just curious

you got me
again
you got me once again
i tried to stay content
but you got me once again

one more
bad decision
no lights
thermal vision
your ghastly white complexion
inhuman conversation

do you feel
do you bleed
i was just wondering
i was just curious

aw man
you got me once again
oh what a fool i am
you got me once again

You Got Me

everybody wants to be like Rakesh
everybody wants to dance like Rakesh
everybody wants to dress like Rakesh
everybody wants to look like Rakesh

and he keeps on Rockin'
Rockin' Rockin' Rockin'
Rockin' Rockin' Rockin' Rakesh

everybody wants them Reeboks he got
everybody wants them white washed jeans
everybody thinks Rakesh is hot
and all the ladies want Rakesh's meat

but he keeps on Rockin'
Rockin' Rockin' Rockin'
Rockin' Rockin' Rockin' Rakesh

Lunchbag Letterman

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