[verse 1]
we were in his room
woke up the neighborhood 
we were on some shrooms
best believe that we were woke 
talking politics & hoes
"against the system, we revolt"
looking for the gold
I lost 
eons ago 
they cleaned us out 
now where do we go? 

[hook]
unborn babies 
praying teens 
& mothers 
fathers deadbeat, you would swear this is us
but it's not us
where do we get to the land of the free? 
it hurts that as the youth we got'a fight these policies

[chorus]
is this not the prophecy
we foresee 
every century 
feels like another form 
of slavery 
is there another term
that possibly is derogatory 
to my people
ain't no struggle, this is war man
I might struggle, I'm a woman


war (unmastered)

i've been trying to learn 
how to water all my greens
I water them all, but they die in the end
sinks in the bottom with no where to go
I want to float 
I want to grow 

but the maggots are eating my body
can't get my soul
& the magnets are pulling me down 
to the ground, underneath 
really slow
gravity don't exist now 

maggots

soul feels like chrome
i tried to skin you
my tongue taste like coal
i tried to leave you

so far im losing my mind
its over, i try to rewind 
your face imprinted on my 
soft thighs & pretty cries 
ghosts in my mirror 
picture gets clearer 
im under water 
oh man, i love ya

i love you 
i cannot leave alone (alone)
i love you x2
i cannot leave you alone (i cannot leave you)
alone, alone
i love you 
& i cannot leave you alone
alone

ily [experiment 1]

ima tell u what u wna hear
tell em what u wanted here

you made it seem like it got iffy 
you made me seem like i was easy 
how you ain't tell me you was leaving
left me on read but you're the victim 
actually used to being the villian
now i gotta be the bigger person 
you made me look like i was easy 
how you ain't tell me you was leaving

drunk texting my phone, tryna see what im on 
sober minded, don't call block me off all socials
i admit i was wrong, so why you fight with me
i am feeling so tired, you just want to hold me 

love you when i am drunk, i just want a homie 
can't sleep without pills, you can call me druggie
romanticizing my trauma always part of my being
i ain't one of your girls, so don't you ever call me 

peace 

actually used to being the villian
now i gotta be the bigger person 
you made me look like i was easy 
how you ain't tell me you was leaving

druggie scum


why do black holes fill us up? 
consciousness is a state of mind 
present yet absent 
i seemingly wander
can't save me 

you live inside of me
breathe in your life, till I can't feel
not only do i breathe for me
i breathe for you too
do you even see? 
can you even feel? 
the way i kiss you differently 
everytime 
you'll never know when's the last time (if its the last time)

why do black holes fill us up? 
consciousness is a state of mind 
present yet absent 
i seemingly wander
can't, save me 

taught me the value of life & beyond
all you could imagine 
grateful I met you b4 I
lost myself in the rain
you wash away all the pain

voices [prod. SimzaEazzy]

EMO KIIIIIIDDDDZZZZZ!!!!!!!! LMAOOOOOOO
SimzaEazzy

emo kiiids [prod. SimzaEazzy]

[the english accent was peeking]
[prod. SimzaEazzy]

kudala bendihhamba 
ndingazi nokuba ndiyaphi
ndimane ndiwa ndiphakama 
bandibiza ngamagama angamnandanga

andisazi nokuba ndithi 
ndiziva ndiphelelwe emphefumlweni 
abantu abandifuni ecaleni kwabo
hhayi andizuba hhoya

andifuni nongatsho 
kodwa bathi tsho-tsho
yinkohlakalo 
ekwenza ufike apho ukhoyo

mna ndinenjongo 
zokukhalis' icilongo 
thetha nezinyanya zakwaJola
aniboni imizamo 

mna ndinenjongo 
zokukhalis' icilongo 
thetha nezinyanya zakwaJola
aniboni imizamo yam x2


injongo (rough)

acting like it's alright 
when plain sight is your vibe 
why I gotta be the one that's in line 
when this coke is here right in sight 

I don't want to talk 
I've been doing drugs 
at the corner store 
& my mama's house now
& she found my lighter in my backpack 
said 
it isnt mine
it's my brother's instead uhhh
I been doing 
doing drugs, drugs
I been doing 
doing drugs

snort that shit up in my nose and I feel good x2
romanticizing my drugs habits x2
I don't know what to feel 

feeling feelings that I never felt before 
I am here but I drift away from yo
third eye, your crown chakra 
so bright I cover my eyes 
illuminate me 
illuminate you 
illuminate every human on earth

I wanna be happy 
wanna be free 
I want all the peace
 in this tree 

I wanna share joy 
water more soil 
fertilize you, whether in june 
I do not care 
I will be there 

let it be known



romance (rough draft/experimental)

voice memo 4rm the paaasssst. i sang this in a big garden of some strange house, under a huge tree that i was just drawn to & i had my rose quartz... i kept having recurring dreams about him. screw him.

3am (04-04-20)

[verse 1]
so what do you want to do today? 
make love or fight like everyday
oh shit I don't know what I'm saying 
am I acting like a victim again? 
that's what you said to me last night 
apparently all I do is gaslight 
applaud me then if its workin' over time 
do it again & show me it is not a crime 

[chorus]
are you fucking me over? 
better not tell me when it's over 
if it means I'll scratch my face & fucking thighs 
& throw up violently outside I will 
I will
just don't fuck me over

[bridge]
sometimes I feel like you'll leave
but then I feel you will stay 
I fucking hate my own voice 
but I'd much rather hear it on replay
can't help but feel like you will leave 
sow my skin to yours so you stay

R U?

don't think i like it when you look at me 
feels like you think im not as pretty
I've got a scar, under my eye 
i dig on it, when im on a high 
I have a few, right on my thigh 
sit on the roof, hope that i die 

i am so empty 
that i can barely cry
I am so shallow
that i don't have a mind 
I've become sheltered,but homeless 
its not my time, you can tell I'm not fine 
(im not fine)
can you release me 
peppermint kisses are not numbing ice
(im not fine)

don't think im different 
just cause im lighter & laughin
starin' at the ceiling 
hoping im gone in the morning 

I'm not fine

open up the door
its cold out
take my tarot deck & lay it all out
take some cash right in my drawer
leather jacket in my closet
you know me well enough
to know I'll never be your asset
paper cut thighs
i pull my skirt a bit lower
touch me there, I'll get you higher 
let me be your service

its like you're scared to show me off 
now im scared to latch your body 
baby i can't even touch you cause you're scared to show me off

closet

track 1 of new upcoming experiments.

i promise I'm sober 
i promise I'm honest

i dreamed myself here
I've seen these walls before 
I've cried this hard for you 
you've broke my heart therefore

setting our bikes in the rack 
smoking a pack like you're dead
you're still intact on this web
told me you'll quit in a bit
homies forever yet you took a turn 
180 avenue watching me burn
he said im dreaming, I'd wish that we never grew old & completed the journey ahead 

i dreamed myself here
I've seen these walls before 
I've cried this hard for you 
you've broke my heart therefore

1. therefore

my lover
hair as black as night & coal
dry enough to blow him off 
colour code him in the dark
I'm the fire, lit a spark
i do care 
i act like i don't sometimes
he's still here 
normally it take em 3 weeks foe' they're out of the door 
that was then 
now that you’re gone 
i still care 
i act like i don’t sometimes 
you’re not here 
normally i pushed you away so you left for good

my lover (slowed + reverb)

in the moments that i had you 
i was feeling overwhelmed 
there were moments when i hated you 
but could never see my life without him 

so what happens when we grow apart? 
what happens when i leave this place & never return
i hate that you’re in love with me
i hate that you have seen me cry
no i don’t want my lover back, i just want my love

overwhelmed

✧₊˚. 🍓🗒 / 🐰☁️*⋆ฺ࿐

pull the cords out the tv 
call the kids to come see me 

now i know why you were bored 
now i know how you were lured 
& you know that i had the time 
machine gun rainin’ in the sky 
the unknown 
plays with your head til you rot 
had i known 
you would go ahead & go 
cheat, cheat, cheat
you would go ahead & cheat 

look at me again 
my 
eyes
wet, my eyes
look at me again, my 
eyes

tell your friends you saw me cry 
drank lead & some cyanide 
just so you could die with me every night 
you got everything i want & more

cheat (exp.1)

they said not with him 
who can change him if they never tried
someone come & tell me 
the rules to love & names of those who haven’t ever cried

i want to see you but not on the move 
i can’t help but feel a bit confused 
plans we had to see the ocean views 
discarded love affair turned into 
bad news

i can’t talk to you even though i do want to 
pressure on me, possibilities are high too 
you put your seed in me now i anticipate the sprout 
the tears i shed have watered every atom i fear 

i’m a poet, i do feel
on some days, i’m not real 
an illusion, i cannot be touched i float around this sphere 
come correct / don’t come at all if you don’t vibe up on my wave
an illustration of frustration & confusion all in one

i want to see you but not on the move 
i can’t help but feel a bit confused 
plans we had to see the ocean views 
discarded love affair turned into 
bad news

it’s 2:05 in the morning 
my call logs look different 
we’re so young yet sit at 5hr00 just to feel like something 
it’s alright, alright 
alright, i’m nothing 
i’m paper cuts in your thighs 
some shady nights in the sky
starry valleys i cry, pretty much at everything 
cause i feel pain 
i feel you , i feel me , feel us

07.04.23

i’m fighting 
every particle of you inside of me
feels like a warmer breeze 
i’m smiling, crying
hoping when you come, i’ll feel at ease 
hoping you will see 
that i’ve
been trying, prying, dying 
to be yours
- i’m crying, fighting with every inch inside of me
every particle of mine resembles love in every frequency 
do you see? 
look above now, do you see our faces, places 

i see you fighting 
every particle of me inside of you 
feels like a warmer breeze
you’re smiling, crying 
hoping when i come, you’ll feel at ease
hoping i will see 
that you’ve
been trying, prying, dying

25.01.23

*natural* (sailing to antigua × sweet medicine)

[verse 1]
are you a natural as she says?
do her words make you confess?
does she water you until you're less depressed
(cause i sure did)

[verse 2]
why, does, he lie?
why, don't you lie?
does she make you smile 
does she bring you joy?

[verse 3]
I saw myself through her eyes 
I'm a threat 
I never promised I was wise till you came 
ever looked at him enough to realize 
you're the only one who knew his eyes
but why you led me on

03.10.22

03.04.21

you took me to the rooftop 
kissed me on my forehead 
i was from a toxic relationship in autumn 
the month in which my mother 
birthed me, it was April
told me to stop mentioning his name when i was with you
when i’m with you, i blossom, am i your possum 
you see me from a view i wish my father could look at me from 

i cannot predict you 
you are not gentle 
only with them other fellas 
you protect my feelings 
you prove you are a man 
you’re so considerate & handsome 
that’s why i love him

i cannot explain it 
when i try, the sounds are so pathetic 
i cannot articulate it 
can’t articulate it
i cannot explain it 
when i try, the sounds are so pathetic 
i can’t articulate it
caught me at a time where i would swear 
i’m never writing again

possum (why I love him)

why does it hurt when you sooth 
my skin 

water ain’t enough 
to quench this
 thirst, i burst into color
alone
i thrive 
i never was alone 
understanding greatness behind
solitude
(water ain’t enough)

why does it hurt when you sooth
my skin

sooth (rough draft)

did you even like me? 

what happened 
to the time we used to talk 
endlessly?
i want to be seen as your reflection 

don’t talk about the way i feel 

you don’t know 
how long it took for me to get out
you’re anywhere but not here
i stare across the mirror
its clear

i 
come correct or not at all 
but you stay 
tainting me, you touched my soul
but why do i want to see you?

Tee’s demo (CU)

akekho

still birds can fly
sober my mind
dream, beside you
if i get lost 
don’t search for me
i’m with him
& we’ve broken free

let me go
with him

(he left me in the end) 

2. sober my mind (experiment)

ella rose experiment 16.11

💓 

no regrets
just simplicity all in a view 
there was something about the way you stare into my eyes 
no wonder you told your friends about me 
it’s the way i cherish the love between 
it’s the way you showed me what i thought was love 
& now i’ve found another lover 
he gave me so much pride 
i wonder
do you miss me when i’d say “i love you” 
do you miss me when i’d say “i miss you”

all that doesn’t matter now 
it doesn’t matter now

simplicity (freestyle)

nobody wants to hear your sad poems anymore
as if i write them for the happiness of silly boys 
i burnt an offering for times when i digressed more 
if you’re uncomfortable with feelings, see yourself out 

please dont let me spiral 
this the only form of healing for my mental

looks were appealing 
you look amazing
but i could never change myself on your appraisal 
if i remain the same then whats the point of trying 
to be your favorite i must see myself in thousands
different layers, different paradigms of suffering 
for me to shed skin i must see superior me 
it could be similar to when i see the sovereign in you
put men on pedastals but never me insufferable 
antagonising agony no point of colouring books

colouring books (room-session)

as we lay right on top of a hill my dear
where i swallowed your spit & i drank all yo blood 
where you showed me that love is consuming baby

oh

my mind refuses to erase us
in the furnace of the abyss

oh

i whisper 
its only you my love at the end of the tunnel 
so you’ve got my love till the end

if i could go across the seas baby 
just to prove to you that God exists in a multifaceted universe 
where we birth ourselves

mm baby 

you’re always zoning out 
i want to show you love at the end of the tunnel baby
its so real 
i only call your name to the cosmos baby 
i shout it out

need a friend?

its feeling ghastly in here 
       almost ghostly, i swear 
        - the other day i was strutting away 
         - remembered who i was, on a random
             tuesday
         sit back, relax i got a thing for
           hypochondriacs
         the day i ended it, the start of my own
          my bargaining 
        the spiral was a symbol for my handwritten 
           anomaly
        - & normally, i’d escape reality by capturing 
             a dream in my own version of serenity
         realising now, its self-imprisonment & 
            bondage 
         how do i break free, how do i love me? 
           how do i escape, how do i escape the matrix
           - not part of your antics , only got my magic
               she’s esoteric

esoteric (draft)

✧₊˚. 🍓🗒 / 🐰☁️*⋆ฺ࿐i’m here bc i’m bored :))
you’re my 333 babyyy
🧿 ((( & my dumb lofi experiments )))
IG: littlemissdragonfly
email: ngutaoyama@gmail.com , send beats or stuff idk
i make music for chakra huns. 
i’m still yaya/Oyama

oyama oyama

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