drill

"I didn't know what I didn't know."  

So, here's how I spent my Easter Sunday:  Watching the second night of Wrestlemania 41 and working on this song--a song that sort of came up out of nowhere.  A song of regret, loneliness, and reassessing the nostalgia of what feels like a previous life.  

Is it autobiographical?  In parts, certainly.  I think we ALL leave parts of our reality in whatever creative endeavors we pursue.  Some liberties have been taken (and I think Emily's done a great job with the spoken word sections)--but it certainly feels true.  

...but though it did rain yesterday (WHAT?  In SEATTLE?!?!?), it wasn't the sort of lazily gloomy day that I imagined when writing this track.  And though I am currently living in a house that is too big for just my kid and me (despite our having filled every nook and cranny with "stuff" making it feel like it isn't quite big enough), I wasn't sitting and looking out the window.  I didn't even have any hot chocolate yesterday.  (My kid does like making it for me--but I'm not the biggest fan of hot beverages, so it isn't my "go-to" beverage of choice.)  

"I always seemed to be getting in my own way."  

I think what feels the most true is the regret.  I can look back now and see the mistakes I've made.  I can recognize where I pushed people away, where I took things for granted, where I was so convinced that I was doing my best--that I knew what the right thing to do was--that I knew that I was pristine and wise and undeserving of the consequences for my mistakes.  

This song is a confession of how wrong I was about all of that.  

So the music is certainly melancholy--but it isn't intended to be gloomy.  It is a wistful regret.  An "Aww, man.  I could have done so much better" sort of feeling, instead of a "Oh, woe is me.  Life is over." vibe.  And the music fits the intended mood.  You've got some deep ambient drones, you've got a looping processed guitar.  You've got some cozy lo-fi beats that float in and out, as do various synthlines.  You've got spoken word sections and you have a rather cheeky sung vocal snippet (which was royally convenient) that inspired the tone and theme of this track.  

I'd have to guess that something faster, louder, noisier, (your word here)-ier...will drop tomorrow.  But today, some nostalgia for yesterday vibes.  

Hope you listen, like, repost, share, comment, playlist and follow!  

"Quiet of an Afternoon" *SoundCloud Exclusive*

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[FREE] UK Drill Type Beat x NY Drill Type Beat "Reggae" | Drill Type Beat

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BPM: 143
Key: G minor

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