Uninspired for like the last hundred days
I've been Running tired within a track runners pace
What I'm lacking in grace I make up with effort
recorded my first songs, skipping lectures

I talk too much I haven't Listened yet
Silence is golden so I'm rich in stress
I'm living for a moment so I get depressed 
I'd Save the world before I'd save myself 

You can catch me on the flipside of this life and its strife I live like my insight don't matter to anyone else
It's a battle between my little bit of mental health and some potential wealth
With my friends to help
I confess myself ain't the best itself 
If you've never been an addict just Humor me 
I write eulogies for who I used to be

Serotonin lower than I'd like to admit 
Playing chicken with fate till I find the abyss
Lying to myself till the mind frame fits
Life's a bitch because life ain't shit 

So I Take it with a grain of salt and chase it with liquor
Depression's my ex, can't say that I missed her
Holding on for dear life, scraping with blisters 


so apathetic
I'm Kinda Half pathetic
And I'm crass, conflicted, but a soul to keep
I started to rap so you would notice me
Alll my hopes and dreams, they were torn to fiction
Cause I sold those things for a moment of addiction 
Now I'm Feeling like Moses with the broken commandments 
Like the journey was hopeless, and you're misunderstanding 
How far I came from the places i never want to go back to

Say the serenity prayer a few times a week
I still relapse like I'm too unique 
To accept God's help or his handouts
Kinda bitter that He shot all of my plans down

All i got to show from the last 4 years
Is a shame, no name, with some past to clear
I don't have to fear whatever happens here
Cause at last i feel like I'm at peace 
With my life in pieces
It's a fight against weakness
Son of a preacher, I was nothing but deceitful
Running from evil now I'm running towards the needles
Searching for a rig just to hold me off
Then Something of a sequel once the loathing stops
I'd be fluent in the language if death could talk 
So i'm begging to God to Save me a spot. 
Whether if I ever learn my lesson or not

Cause I'm sicker than your average I'm different than the masses
which I didn't have to practice, but I'm living off a mattress 
Pilfered the pockets from my future riches
The prodigal son no Cupid visits
A prodigy once turned moot statistic 
have your whole world pegged If you could listen
I can read the emotions that are written on your face
But I can't live right, so what difference does It make

Feeling cocky but I still remember
My 1 day chips could fill a dresser
Im slipping knowing I was Built for better
Even if my lesser is better than they could ever

Cause I failed my goals and fulfilled all doubts
Made my choices, I put all of it out 
On the table trying just to piece together
A plot worth reading from my weakest efforts

Not my masterpiece but a consolation  
That I could create something of this God forsaken 
Life I've created through my mistakes 
And the Person that I became by the same

For the damaged souls, I write for addicts 
the could've been greats, I write them classics
I'm exactly what's been wrong with the world
And somehow made it through the trials and peril

Rest in Peace Robert Paulson.

Madasa