i called it the dark ages for a reason

Hey, friend of mine
It seems that you are doing fine
Unlike me
Sure, I’m moving on from the problem I made
But since then, I have never been the same
I may have risen from the fall
But I haven’t moved from where I was at all
Then in a state of panic
I end up frantic
So I build a distance between me and you
 
Chorus:   
When will I cease running far, far away from you?
When will thoughts about you stop passing through my mind?
Why can’t I just let go of holding on to nothing?
When it’s something so near, yet so far
So simple, yet so hard to reach
The path that would set me free

These barriers I built in order to protect me
Instead leave me suffocating and hating
The turmoil inside of me
When will it appease?
When will the anger subside?
Why can’t happiness abide?
And the flame that once was burning in my heart
Has reduced to an ember now
But I can’t put it out
I don’t know why I don’t know what to do
When I’m sure I’m no longer in love with you

[Repeat Chorus]

I start to walk alone with no idea where to go
Hoping I reach a destination soon
Where I would find you
Standing there, without a care
We’d be the people we used to be 
Before I made this mess for you and for me
I’m sorry you had to hear this song
When clearly, I said that I was moving on
Maybe, I’ll pick all of the pieces up someday
But for now, I’ll stare at the remains
Of what was nothing

[Repeat Chorus]

Please set me free



Set Me Free (Original Song)

art by tumblr user minuiko!! ;u; http://minuiko.tumblr.com/post/76856744289/some-of-you-guys-just-wanted-the-images-without#notes-container

I wrote this song a year ago, immediately after reading House of Hades, but I didn't have the will (hahahaha) to work on it, til now :) 
It's a Percico song in Nico's POV, but I feel like I over romanticized the situation. C'mon, we all know Nico's stronger than as what I've put out here ;u;

Lyrics:
How long have I been falling in too deep?
Surrounded by the torment that plagues me
I can’t escape even in my sleep
Where you continue to haunt me in my dreams
You’re the hero of my story 
Who got their happy ending
While I’m inflicted with a curse
To want you when you already have her
But I don’t say a word for you’d all think I’m absurd

I wish that the hand that was holding yours was mine
Just like how you cross my mind all the time

Chorus:
My gaze gets diverted when I see your face
And my heart skips a beat when you’re here with me
But then I try
To run away from this mistake but I can’t 
And it’s so complicated, I hate it
How it’s forbidden, and yet I need you

They say love is a war
But what is the point when there’s no one to fight for?
I was delusional for thinking that I stood a chance
When I knew I lost the battle before it began
I detach myself from the world to hide the hurt
With your sea green eyes etched in my mind
Warming me up inside
But breaking me at the same time
Oh, I hate how I let myself remain tantalized by you
In the shadows, I watch every move that you do

And I wish that the hand that was holding yours was mine
Just like how you cross my mind all the time

[Repeat Chorus]

Why do I tremble with tears in my eyes
When I see you bliss with her by your side?
She leans in for a kiss
Why does it hurt like this?
When in the first place I knew 
That I could never be with you

[Repeat Chorus]

And as much as I loathe all this
I’m forced to admit
I am still in love with you

Forbidden (Original Song)

here's a song about wanting to get over someone so badly, but ironically, can't. (or: a list of stupid things maegan does when she likes someone)

I'm tired of claiming that I'm over you
When everybody knows the truth
I'm tired of laughing obnoxiously,
Butterflies demanding release
And I know it's something that I can't control
But I'm tired of every stuttering heartbeat 
I get whenever you're around me

My hair is messed up
I am fed up
I give up
But I'm not giving you up soon
Even though I want to

I'm tired of sleepless nights, thinking about you
When I know I could never have you
I'm tired of sleepless nights, dreaming about you
When I don't even want you

I'm tired of dancing all alone in my room
Belting out these godforsaken songs about you
I'm tired of every shudder I get when I hear your name
I'm tired of feeling flustered whenever I see your face
I'm tired of getting beaten down and shot by every trigger
Riding on my high will never get me nearer
To finding my peace of mind

Instead, my hair is messed up
I am fed up
I give up
But I'm not giving you up soon
Even though I want to

I'm tired of sleepless nights, thinking about you
When I know I could never have you
I'm tired of sleepless nights, dreaming about you
When I don't even want you

I'm tired of going through your pictures just to know
How you are, or where you've been
Or what you've done, or who you're with
And I really, really, really don't care 
If somebody claims your heart as theirs

I'm tired of every lie I have to say
Just to make myself okay
But what's the use?
I'm never getting over you...

My hair is messed up
I am fed up
I give up
But I'm not giving you up soon
Even though I want to

I'm tired of sleepless nights, thinking about you
When I know I could never have you
I'm tired of sleepless nights, dreaming about you
When I don't even want you

I never even wanted this
I never even wanted you
But what's the use?
I never even loved you

Somnus et Psyche (Original Song)

yeah i so do not have 3 performance tasks due on friday hahahaha

sorry for contributing to the rain ;;;;

Oo (Up Dharma Down cover)

instrumental from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GsW7mbdrQEs !!!!

my classmates were live-jamming to iris and then out of my league immediately after so i thought, hey these would make a good mash-up :}

Out of my League // Iris (Stephen Speaks // Goo Goo Dolls Mash-up Cover)

behold my ultimate otp song. like. i just imagine various mvs of my all my otps to this song, no matter who  :(( yay 

Stolen - Dashboard Confessional (Cover)

the closest thing i have to coming out. haha. <3
believe me i have a full orchestral ensemble of this in my head

They say, “Don’t gaze at the sun”
But how can I comply when all she’s ever done
Was be a brilliant epitome of ethereal reality?
She dances with the flames
I can’t look away
I merely abide 
By the forces drawing me towards her axis
I am captivated

Slowly, butterflies are creeping back into my veins
This time I won’t feel the pain

I will fall into her gravity
Rushing, reeling, breathing clarity
This time
I’ve never felt more alive
Now that I’m free to fall

So sing
You are a raven in the spring
Ready to spread out her wings
And fly
You’re gonna reach the sky
While I tumble down
And watch you soar above the ground

Slowly, butterflies are creeping back into my veins
This time, I won’t be afraid

I will fall into her gravity
Rushing, reeling, breathing clarity
This time
I’ve never felt more alive
Now that I’m free to fall

Atop the apex of her soul
I plummet into the unknown
I release my inhibitions,
Sublimate them to elation
Oh, this strange acceleration
And its exhilaration
Will never stop driving me on

I will fall into her gravity
This time, I won’t pull away

Breathless, wrap me around your orbit
Drown me in the tides ever surreal
Weightless, my fingers touch the clouds
But you lead me back down
To fall


Free Fall (Original Song)

i'd like to thank Icy and Pam, for being the most amazing friends and two of the most talented people i've ever known <33 i love you guys so much 

Piano, Percs - Icy Candelaria
Second voice - Pam Pasco

Two years, and you think I should be over it
But I've given up on calling it quits
Old habits die hard
Do you feel a pair of eyes watching you from afar?
I've got your features memorized
I could find you in a crowded room anytime

Let me take pictures in my mind
As I steal furtive glances every time you look away
I got a proposal: I'll be your commensal
Since you don't reciprocate
But I like it that way
At least there are less things to complicate between you and me
And if you think that I am going crazy
I'd have to agree

'Cause lately I feel like flying 
Whenever I catch you smiling
I'm singing in the bathroom
Laughing like an idiot when I think of you
Let me adore you
Let me wanna wrap my arms around you for no reason at all
And you can't blame me if I, if I couldn't think straight
And nothing's gonna be the same
These giddy heartbeats are so cliche
There's no denying, I'm not okay
But that's okay
I'm crazy

I ran far, far away
But I found nowhere to escape
So I go back to the flame where I once was burned
But I don't wanna get hurt
It's nice and warm here
Would you let me stay, my dear?
Even though you know that I am crazy

'Cause lately I feel like flying 
Whenever I catch you smiling
I'm singing in the bathroom
Laughing like an idiot when I think of you
Let me adore you
Let me wanna wrap my arms around you for no reason at all
And you can't blame me if I, if I couldn't think straight
And nothing's gonna be the same
These giddy heartbeats are so cliche
There's no denying, I'm not okay
After all, unrequited love is never easy
But that's okay
I can bear with the pain
I'm crazy

Crazy (Original Song ft. Icy & Pam)

heck yass my future album's title track!!!! haha

I love your eyes
I’m mesmerized 
By the way they disappear whenever you smile
Oh, that cheeky little grin
My sweet gateway to sin
And yet the light that keeps the storm in me at bay
Until it dissipates 

You’re not meant to occupy 
The very spaces set within my mind
But there are times
I hear someone call out your name
Although a different face,
My thoughts can’t help but drift away
Back to memories
When you were still a hand hold next to me

I wonder, if you hadn’t left
Nor hadn’t I been the coward I am
Would you have been mine?
(Would an answer bring back my peace of mind?)
You have always been the best
Please know that I could never bury you
And everything I could never tell you

You were the queen of the castle I built
On empty dreams and broken promises,
On lofty clouds of piled up regrets
Likewise you’re the thief
Who snuck in an stole my heart from underneath my sleeve
Now far too out of reach

Eleven with her feeble mind
How can you trust the kinds of things she finds out?
But hear me out
There is one thing I am certain is true:
I am in love with you

I wonder, if you hadn’t left
Nor hadn’t I been the coward I am
Would you have been mine?
(Would an answer bring back my peace of mind?)
You have always been the best
Please know that I could never bury you
And everything I could never tell

You and I watch the same night sky
But I search for the brightest star, impossible to reach
Miles and miles away, and yet she captivates me

Sixteen with her feeble mind
How can you trust the kinds of things that come out of her mouth?
But there is one thing I am certain is true:
And that is what I could never tell you


Everything I Could Never Tell You (Original Song)

Your Type - Carly Rae Jepsen (Cover)

happy birthday again to one of the most amazing people i've ever met!! i love you!!! <3 <3 <3

I once met a girl
She took the boys and all the girls
And knocked the pavement straight from right beneath their feet
Unafraid to go to war 
To get what she's yearning for 
And she doesn't mind if she might taste defeat

She's a whirlwind sent to sweep you away
Yeah, a force so reckless, 
Unexpected 
She'll leave you breathless

She's sunshine and turbulence 
She's a blanket of clouds up high
She's the storm before the calm
And I know she'll never let me
But I have to break it gently
Clarisse, what have you done to me?
Clarisse, look what you've done to me

She's sweeter than wine
She's stronger than the whiskey that she'll drink tonight
She booms like thunder, shines like lightning 
She makes life a lot more exciting 
And I'd never imagined I could never imagine a world without her

She's a whirlwind sent to sweep me away
Yeah, a force so reckless, 
Unexpected 
She left me breathless

She's sunshine and turbulence 
She's a blanket of clouds up high
She's the storm before the calm
And I know she'll never let me
But I have to break it gently
Clarisse, what have you done to me?
Clarisse, I love what you've done to me

She's the sunrise after a wild night
She's the thrill of a roller-coaster ride
She's the comfort of a hug that feels right
She's the laughter that always gets me high

She's the best part of my day
She's the rainbow to my rain 
She's the song that I would dance to, when I don't even dance, but hey
Clarisse 
Clarisse, thank you for everything
Clarisse, I love you endlessly
Clarisse, I love you endlessly

Clarisse (Original Song)

i write songs and stuff ;u; basically i just sing my troubles away :)

header pic by the amazing Mela Roque!!! <3

Maegan Mangoba

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