This energy is solid. Reminded me of browsing music on (next-sc-pro).

Skull’s a padded cell, lined with panic
Each thought ricochets off the bone
Brain's swollen with static
But I’m trapped here, alone

The pressure builds behind my temples
Jaw tight, eyes twitch, neck sore
Every whisper turns violent
Then loops back louder than before

I blink but the images stay
Thoughts like fists that won’t decay
This isn’t noise, it’s a drill
Boring into me against my will

My thoughts have me in a chokehold I can’t tap out of
Tension winding tight from the inside up
Skull cracking from the fight I breathe
Trying to scream through locked teeth

Can’t think, can’t sleep, can’t make it stop
Headlocked in a pressure I can’t drop

Sinuses swell with rage
Forehead pulsing red
Every idea’s a jackhammer
Breaking peace inside my head

The crown of me’s gone sour
My cortex coils like wire
My brainstem’s burning hours
Fueling thoughts I can't retire

I chew on silence, grind it down
But even quiet starts to pound
Every nerve’s a fuse that’s lit
Inside this cranium I can’t quit

My thoughts have me in a chokehold I can’t tap out of
Each throb a verdict I’m unworthy of
Tension locked in my frontal lobe
Clenched so hard, I implode

Can’t breathe, can’t blink, can’t make it stop
Headlocked in a brain that forgot how to drop

There’s a war behind my forehead
A riot under skin
No one sees the bruising
But I’m breaking deep within

My temples count the seconds
In pulses loud and grim
If thoughts could leave bruises
My skull would cave in

My thoughts have me in a chokehold I can’t tap out of
Clawing through my brain like it's not enough
Nerves snapping like rubber bands
Cranium cracked by my own hands

Can’t breathe, can’t blink, can’t make it stop
Headlocked, and it’s all I’ve got

My mind is the cage
My skull is the lock
I built this pressure
Now I can’t make it stop

Headlocked

Mama’s got that faraway look
Lipstick smudged on picture books
Microwave meals, TV laughs
While I hide my wrappers in the trash

Told me I was her little treat
Chocolate cheeks and sticky feet
But bedtime came and so did screams
The kind that echo into dreams

She said, “Don’t worry, love, I’m fine”
Then bit her nails down past the line

KitKats—
I was just a KitKat—
Sweet enough to split, too easy to forget
She’d break me off, then break again
Trade my silence for pretend
I smiled like sugar on her tongue
But every snap undid the fun
Wrapped me up in store-bought hugs
Then left me melting in the rug

She used to hum my lullabies
Now she just stares with candy eyes
Red foil dreams on paper plates
I learned young how sugar breaks

Cartons piled beside her bed
Crumbs like words she never said
She loved me best when I was still
When I stayed sweet and didn’t spill 

The couch became a second grave
Where all her broken KitKats stayed

KitKats—
I was just a KitKat—
Sweet enough to split, too easy to forget
She bit the parts that made me whole
Then blamed me when I didn’t fold
A treat she’d save then throw away
When pain returned and skies turned gray
She snapped my love like candy wood
And said, “You’ll heal. You always should.”

Snap, snap—can you hear it now?
The sound of love that’s not allowed
I crumbled quiet in her lap
She kissed my cheek, then took her nap

KitKats—
I was just a KitKat—
Sweet enough to split, too easy to forget
Now the foil’s torn, and I can see
I was a snack, not family
She left me half in plastic wrap
A sugar kid in her relapse
Not broken—just uneaten yet
Still waiting for what love forgets

Snap me once, I don’t resist
Snap me twice, I cease to exist
Put me back in silver sleeves
Say I’m sweet, then let me leave

I was just a KitKat...
And you never finished me.

KitKats

The room is quiet, shadows in the corners,
Your hand brushes mine and my chest swells.
Nothing speaks but the hum of our hearts,
Every breath between us a secret spell.

Fingers trace lines we can’t put into words,
Every glance lingers, tethered and sweet.
The world falls away, leaving only us,
In the silence, our hearts drum in sync.

I lean in closer, every inhale is yours,
Your warmth filling the space where sound is gone.
A quiet storm of pulse and skin,
Every touch a whisper we can’t hide.

Gilded silence, honey dripping for us
Buzzing quiet, hearts beating without fuss
Golden hush, nectar trails in the air
Only we can share

Soft sighs float like golden dust,
Every heartbeat a signal I can trust.
Your presence lingers, warm and near,
In gilded silence, only we appear.

Buzzing quiet, hearts beating loud
Golden threads weaving us in a shroud
Every pulse a secret, sticky and sweet
In this silence, only we meet

Gilded silence, honey dripping for us
Buzzing quiet, hearts beating without fuss
Golden hush, nectar trails in the air
Only we can share

Gilded silence…
Buzzing hearts…
Golden stillness…
Forever honeyed…

Gilded Silence

I flinch before the footsteps even hit the floor,
My body learned the warning signs years before.
Hands go up and I shrink without a thought,
Instinct moving faster than the battles I fought.
Shadows on the wall make my breath cut short,
Like I’m back in a room with the worst kind of noise.
I brace for impact even when it’s calm—
Silence never felt like a safe place to belong.

I bend but don’t break—yeah, that’s my curse.
I flinch at the love ’cause I’m braced for the hurt.
Pulled like a ragdoll, ripped at the seams,
My reflex remembers what my mind wants to leave.
I bend but don’t break, even shaking inside—
A body still fighting old battles I survived.

People raise their hands and I pull back fast,
Doesn’t matter who it is or what they ask.
My chest locks up like the door just slammed,
Every part of me expecting the next command.
I know I’m grown now, I know I’m safe—
But trauma doesn’t listen when it’s in first place.
Every gentle moment feels like a test,
Waiting for the shift, the anger, the mess.

I bend but don’t break—yeah, that’s my curse.
I flinch at the love ’cause I’m braced for the hurt.
Pulled like a ragdoll, ripped at the seams,
My reflex remembers what my mind wants to leave.
I bend but don’t break, even shaking inside—
A body still fighting old battles I survived.

Yeah…
my body jerks before my logic works,
wired to dodge every shock that hurts,
mind goes blank when the tension lurks,
heartbeats skip like a scratched-out verse.

I’m twitchin’, flinchin’, instincts glitchin’,
childhood rules still hold the position.
Fight-or-flight on a hairpin mission,
trauma on loop like a bad transmission.

Every calm moment? Feels suspicious.
Peace tastes fake, too clean, too vicious.
Waiting for the twist when the tone switches—
trained by pain, it became religious.

I brace for the worst like a premonition,
muscles pull tight with no permission.
Fear hits fast—perfect precision—
body keeps score with cruel revision.

And I hate the way I fold, explode,
reload every memory I never controlled.
Move too quick when emotions unfold—
a reflex built from a life I was sold.

Not weakness.
Just survival encoded.
Ragdoll reflex.
Trauma downloaded.

One day maybe I’ll stand still,
Let a gentle touch just be real.
Let my heartbeat slow down,
Let my past stop coming around.
But until the fear learns how to fade,
I’m healing through the mess I’ve made.

I bend but don’t break—yeah, that’s my curse.
I flinch at the love ’cause I’m braced for the hurt.
Pulled like a ragdoll, torn at the seams,
My reflex remembers what my mind wants to leave.
I bend but don’t break, but I’m tired inside—
Still fighting off ghosts I should’ve outgrown by now.

Still shaking…
still breathing…
still here…
still healing…
Ragdoll reflex…
learning to rest.

RAGDOLL REFLEX

All songs are written and sung entirely by me — every word, every melody, every story comes straight from my own hands. There’s no AI involved in the creation of my music. 

If you want to read along, all lyrics are included in the song descriptions.

RAGDOLL REFLEX

maevenoireofficial

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