UNPRETTY

got me so unpretty
sit and rot while the world keeps spinnin’
tastes good til the poison sinks in
leave me dying crying spitting
this regimen, never benevolent
i could never win, never win
think i’m finally leveling out now

	***i took the bait for so long
	the aftermath is so strong
	but i got a taste of freedom now
	it’s what i needed all along, all along yeah

feel her close, i feel her hate me
i feel sweeter touches masturbating
the mirage you sell it fading
leave me high, dry, keep lying
bitter medicine
it’s a lesson that 
i’m learning for my betterment 
think i’m finally leveling out now

****
let me go unpretty
go sit and rot while the world keeps spinning
the world keeps spinning…

unpretty

CHANGES

stuck in my head, drinking too much
doing the most, feeling the buzz
checking the box, coming in first
thinking that i was doing the work
never found a quick fix for this
trade it in for a momentary bliss
play unfazed, is it coming w age?
i’m licking a digit and turning a page
	ah oh i needa slow down
	ah oh my thoughts so loud
	need a sign got it glaringly, staring me
	in my face, got clarity 
 
**** i’m goin thru changes
changes
in my life, in my life
making new choices
takin’ chances
about time, it’s about time

give me the strength to shape what i can
playing a game i know i’m better than
holding it back, not saying a word
too painful to think that i ever got hurt
never found a quick fix for this
back burner i pretend it don’t exist
hit hard, got me flat on my back	
no i never used to let myself think about that	
	ah oh the heat so high
	damn time take my own advice
	all gas, let me put it in drive
	checking the mirror and waving goodbye

****
can’t act like it’s not all different now
i will never be going back to normalcy 
truth i can’t unsee, oh it’s so clear to me
how much i needed these, i need these, all these

*****

CHANGES

STEAL FROM ME

hold me now
placate
hold me down
see what i give away
made off 
with all the loot
so proud
as if i paid you to
you catch your rush
under my skin
is it as warm as you remember it?

** you steal from me
take everything
burglary, first degree
you steal from me
take everything
siphon my blood, my youth, my dignity

all spread out
do what you may
treat me now
you know that i’ve been groomed 
yeah i’m house trained
break me in
while i’m still tight
now watch me die
when i 
realize….

**you steal from me 
take everything
pillage me, you pillage me
you steal from me 
take everything
siphon my blood, my youth, my dignity

is it warm? is it warm? is it warm?

siphon my blood, my youth, my dignity

STEAL FROM ME

UTOPIA

butter me up
lay it on 
nice and thick
laying back 
bask in it
can you take what i can give?
no borders here
no police
exploring endless landscapes
flesh’ finest wish
it’s all at your fingertips
lover of my life i’ve never kissed

interactive
fantasy, free my head
spit it out, everything 
that you haven’t yet said
no filter here, no censorship
at the threshold of bliss
in expert care, so impossible to miss
lover of my life i’ve never kissed
lover of my life...

UTOPIA edit

BURN THIS (if u don't want it)

no truth, bold faced
in my bed, my space
something time couldn’t erase

took the hint at my own pace
we’re at worst case
last piece i gotta say

**** burn this if you don’t want it
	i won’t 
	chase after you anymore
	burn this if you don’t want it
	i won’t
	hold back for you anymore
	burn it
	burn this down
	burn it 
	burn this down

send it up in smoke
combustible
i melt, heat rose

make it five alarm
no flame retard(ant)
these old flames die hard

rekindle this
or torch it crisp
be my arsonist 

****

BIG MAJ