Maybe I’ll go back to my apartment and sleep for 15 hours. Fuck work. Who cares when I get out of bed. Ten hour days of getting shit on by children. Get tiring just as quickly as you’d expect. Is there nothing else I could do?

You can be as patient as you want, but getting treated like you’re trash will never feel good

Dealing with high school kids and seventh graders is making me get way too old way too fast. I never thought I could care so little. A note I found in an english teacher’s desk says, “Have you found your voice?” But reads to me, “This is your chance to get out. Don’t fuck it up now.”

4:15 on 101 North some fuck head wrecked I'll be late for work. Two little kids pulled out from a ditch zipped up in black plastic bags. A mother permanently poisoned with grief. And I’m angry and worried about these selfish things. Yeah, okay. What’s wrong with me now?

I want to be a nicer person. I want to be positive and do my part. I want to stop with the sarcastic remarks. I want to feel less anger in my heart. It’s just hard when it gets spat back in your face.

8 PM on a Monday night it’s dark already when did that happen? My worn out old windshield wipers can’t keep up with the rain I can’t see shit. I’m gonna die like in that awful Robin Williams movie but in a way it feels good to feel fucked up about it. I don’t wanna die listening to A Better Place, A Better Time

Patience

You’re right to be worried
Just not about that
You’re not the only thing I have in my life
You’re right to be scared
But only of your problems
They’re not mine, they’re not mine,  they’re not mine,  they’re not mine,  they’re not mine

Your jealousy is an anchor that’ll get you swallowed by the sea
Maybe someone can pull you from the waves but not me
you think that this story is gonna end with you and me
But you and I won’t always be a we.

You’ve created an illusion
Of things going so well
But we fight a lot the way I see it
I get another text
And wonder what I’ve done now
It’s not fair, it’s not fair, it’s not fair, it’s not fair, it’s not fair

Your jealousy is an anchor that’ll get you swallowed by the sea
Maybe someone can pull you from the waves but not me
You think that this story is gonna end with you happy
But you and I won’t always be a we.

Anchor (demo)

I walked to my car today
It was the morning and I forgot
Just how cold it gets when the gray fades
Just how cold it gets when the clouds give way

The sun came out today
Just like a warning of what I’m not sure
But the pessimist inside says to look out
The pessimist inside says, “It won’t work out.”

My body’s telling me, “come back home
you know you need more sleep. Please just go.”

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