this track is called ‘Cassie’ 
> i redid this since i figured out how to master this shizazz

i wrote this song a few months ago and i’d say it’s my favourite song i’ve written. my friend, tracy, realised i barely write a song about myself and write about other people and their ‘problems’ but never mine. so she gave me a challenge to write a song about myself. i wrote this in pieces; 

two days after she told me to write about myself i came up with the first verse
> i was about to perform for my school with our band and i was extremely nervous

then,
i went to my other close friend’s house and we came up with the chorus together.
since we’re both indecisive, i thought it was funny to add a ‘ i don’t know ‘ and a ‘voice’ telling me/us that we should know.

and here we are!!! enjoy :)

lyrics:

verse 1
tracy told me to write about me this time
does everyone notice if i get back just fine
and if not,
can i cry?
can i cry on closing night?
or i’ll stumble
in the fluorescent lights

verse 2
i love the affection from those who could care less
running backstage,
just made it on out of breath
and if not?
will i fall
will i fall for the guests?
or i’ll crumble
crumble? like i would  confess?

chorus
can u see me through the glass window
can u see me with the words i wrote?
idk idk idk
ysk ysk ysk

verse 3
i guess i almost never have to take the blame
and yet somehow you love me if i can’t get framed?
aren’t you scared?
aren’t you scared if i’ll never get caught?
or just lucky
lucky enough that i’ll stop

chorus
can u see me through the glass window
can u see me with the words i wrote?
idk idk idk
ysk ysk ysk
can u hear me calling out ur name?
can u hear me?
im slowly going insane.
idk idk idk
ysk ysk you should

bridge
please dont mess up 
in front of them
in front of me
in front of your
two sided family
i really hate the insecure little me genre
“and you know it’s me?”
dont you?
is this not the same
for you?

what is she saying?
what should i be on about?
kinda reaches my head and exits out my mouth

chorus
can u see me through the glass window
can u see me with the words i wrote?
idk idk idk
ysk ysk ysk
can u hear me calling out ur name?
can u hear me?
im slowly going insane.
idk idk idk
ysk ysk ysk

cassie (demo)

17

notes:
i wrote 17 for a friend who got hurt by someone she cared about. i remember her ranting to me about the situation and i decided to write this song from her perspective. 

i’d say this song is about wishing you were good enough for someone else, and especially if they don’t treat you the way they treat another person who could have shorter hair, or wear clothes only given by them.

i hope you enjoy this demo!

lyrics

verse 1
would you prefer if my hair was shorter or if i was taller?
would you prefer?
would you prefer if i wore clothes from you and not my mother?
would you prefer?

prechorus
you let me know just how to feel
cause ur the only one i talk to when im not
healed enough 
or u need some love

chorus
just because im not 17
you dont have the right to be this mean
dont understand why you’d waste me
did you waste all the 933 
days?

verse 2
would you prefer if i told you i liked the movies?
would you prefer?
would you prefer if you said you took her instead of me?
would you prefer?

prechorus
now i dont know how i should feel
left me on delivered when i cant heal at all
or u need some love?

chorus
just because im not 17
you dont have the right to be this mean
dont understand why you’d waste me
almost made it to 933
days

i get that i’m not 17
i should have tried to be more mean
kinda understand why you’d leave me

seventeen (demo)

i wrote this with my cousin about her and i was really inspired by the idea of love and how you’ll always love someone no matter what they would do. so here’s a song called ‘Change’.

lyrics

verse 1
at 3am you called today
looked in my mirror before i’d say
“how was your shift? how did it go? did it rain?”
your face was messed up, such a shame

prechorus
when i do, if i do
i’ll let you know this
i brush my hair for you, i’ll stare at you
even if i miss my train
if i feel blue, i’ll care for you
even if i feel ashamed

chorus
to tell you
i like you
i like your face
the way say my name
when you’re far away / i forget to say 
i will be there 
if you swear 
you’ll never walk away
and i will tell you i love you
even if you change

verse 2
at 6am you left the call
i’ll drive to you with no response
“are you at home? where did you go? you know it’s snowing.”
you’re right behind me 
am i just dreaming?

prechorus
so it’s true, and i do
im letting you know this
i brush my hair for you, im staring at you
this time there will be no train
i don’t feel blue when im with you
i wont ever feel ashamed

chorus
to tell you 
i love you
i love your face
when you say my name
now im wide awake
will you be there?
cause i swear i’ll never walk away
and you will know that i love you
even if you change.

change (demo)

this song is about overthinking confessions and relationships. i wrote this for two people i loved and the relationship they had. i guess its their perspective as well as mine…
love,
mariae

Lyrics
verse 1
chosen to u like u on a friday
hoping u wont recall
the time you made me lose myself
in a child’s game
why did u let me fall?

verse 2
thats why i run at night to my room
close my eyes and cry to sleep
do you ever do the same or maybe
want to try and dream of me?

chorus
i wanna know what you really meant
with the letter you never shouldve sent
i wanna know if it will end
or will it just be us
as friends

verse 3
i take it back not liking fridays
then i wouldnt have been able to hear u say
you could come by my house when im feeling off or better
either way

bridge
everybody’s taunting me,
i can’t stop you touching me
what am i supposed to do
throwing up in the bathroom 
staying up til 4am
we’re better off as being friends
said it in my dream last night
will you ever really try?

chorus
i wanna know what you really meant
with the letter you never shouldve sent
i wanna know if it will end
or will it just be with us

i like you on Fridays (demo)

this song is about one of my friends. i wrote this when i felt like i was losing her and didn’t know what to do. i was actually supposed to write a song about my job but wrote about her at 2am.
love,
mariae

Lyrics
verse 1
fear of losing touch with her
know we haven’t said some words
since may 21st

verse 2
and i guess she’s better now
cause she smokes her whole way out
should we end up getting hurt?

prechorus
so she’ll dig up the past
and loves to 
sit on her ass
and belong to
me and me alone
cut her hair into pieces
go a few stupid days not eating
maybe i’ll just tag along?

chorus
i want you in my life
a million billion trillion times
and i wont regret it 
if i wanna say it

verse 3
and her favourite colour’s sage
thought i wouldn’t say the same
but i really like her name

verse 4
i dont see how she’s that mean
so she’ll punch you twice or three
times? 
probably should get on her good side

chorus
i want you in my life
a million billion trillion times
and i won’t regret it
if i wanna say it
i want you in my mind
a million billion trillion times
you may think im crazy
i think bout you daily

million billion trillion (demo)

this song is about putting your full feelings into any relationship just to be put aside and not felt worthy enough. i hope u like this track!
love,
mariae

lyrics
verse 1
“give me a reason to apologise?”
what ever happened to the nice guy
can’t do this if ur all talking
that was woeful
i’ll probably be stalking

verse 2
her and her digital footprint
saw her boyfriend feeling offput and
will you find out that she’s my lockscreen?
cause if you do i’ll buy you perfume
after philippines

chorus
im guessing that you never really lovedme
in the first place 
in the first place
cause if u did you wouldnt have been making mistakes 
in the first place 
in the first place
what’s the excuse this time 
for you to get off my mind?
i never said i wasnt fine
in the first place 

verse 3
“i said im sorry for the way i act”
so why’d let my heart go through all that?
maybe it’s all my fault anyway
but i doubt it 
and you wouldnt hesitate

verse 4
you wanna listen to the songs she wrote?
and you believe that youre an antidote.
i hope you slip and fall and choke on soap
but i swear i thought that was a funny joke

chorus
im guessing that you never really lovedme
in the first place 
in the first place
cause if u did you wouldnt have been making mistakes 
in the first place 
in the first place
what’s the excuse this time 
for you to get off my mind?
i never said i wasnt fine
in the first place

in the first place (from my memos)

i wrote this around 2 years ago, when i stopped i talking to an old friend. i wanted to talk with them but yet i was mad for what seemed like no reason.
love,
mariae

lyrics
verse 1
give me another concussion
cause i must have heard you wrong
i have your rose in my bedroom
haven’t told you my favourite song

verse 2
i remember the posters on your wall
and the pillows on your bed
was all of that part of your diversion
of just getting inside my head?

chorus
i dont wanna stare at ur ceiling
i dont wanna hear u cry
i just need one more chance to hear you sing
or just say goodnight
i hope you know i was there for u
i cared enough to cry
give me one more chance to sing for you
or it this goodbye?

verse 3
i wonder if you’re still addicted
to talking behind their back
she wonders if you like her hair
she wonders if you wanna care
about her

chorus
i dont wanna stare at ur ceiling
i dont wanna hear u cry
i just need one more chance to hear you sing
or just say goodnight
i hope you know i was there for u
i cared enough to cry
give me one more chance to sing for you
or it this goodbye?

goodnyte goodbye (from my memos)

ever liked someone so much and then they end up with a horrible person and you know you could do better?

lyrics
verse 1
i really like your hair
but then you shaved it all off
dont believe when people say “they’ll be here”
cause half the time they’re not

verse 2
i only have my brother
and somewhat you do too
force money out of his locker
and almost kill people in their room

chorus
you talk about the way she touches you
but i couldve done that too
or the nine girls youve had under the weather?
but i couldve done better
better x 3

verse 3
always thought we’d meet up
at that park when we were twelve
but you’ve met up with some ‘monica’
and i’m sure you’ll die in hell

verse 4
ok, guess that was mean
but weren’t you that to me?
be careful what you say next 
jokes i dont mind you disappearing

chorus
you talk about the way she touches you
but i couldve done that too
or the nine girls youve had under the weather?
but i couldve done better
better x 3

bridge
i hate that u are a liar
made me think too much
now you’re out getting higher
and im over here getting lost
here, getting lost
im getting better x3

better (demo)

i wrote this song about myself during my massive slump. i felt super off and didn’t know what to do with my life. here’s a basic summary of what happened i guess !! but yes, i experienced the feeling of not wanting to do what i worked hard for most of my life, people talking behind my back, etc.

lyrics
verse 1
i know what i’m doing
carelessly eating on acetone
i thought i knew where to go

verse 2
my room smells so nice and
i cant help thinking twice bout you
and its just what i do

prechorus
got called out on a friday i’ll
be by your side and i’ll wait
but you’re making four grand a day
its not like you needed me anyways

chorus
disappoint me, my brother, my mother, my father
dont forget the something thousand others
i cant help not doing smarter
i feel im getting larger in size
just tell me im doing fine or hold
my hand while i keep crying 
i know x4
all about 
the pedestal 

verse 3
i know what we’re doing
it’s my fault that we went swimming alone
i’ll never pick up my phone

verse 4
your hair might smell nice but
reversed you wont pay the price its true
guess i looked up to you

prechorus
found out what you said on a thursday i’ll
give you a speech in your name
but you’re making dinner plates
it’s not like you needed me anyway

chorus
disappoint me, my brother, my mother, my father
dont forget the something thousand others
i cant help not doing smarter
i feel im getting larger in size
just tell me im doing fine or hold
my hand while i keep crying 
i know x4
all about 
the pedestal 

extra
forgive me,
i forgot,
i’m sorry,
i gave up

the pedestal (from my memos)

for the first time, i’m giving you no context to this song…
except:
here’s what liking someone feels like i guess
love,
mariae

lyrics
verse 1
i think u should look at me 
just one more time
dont say that you want me
then go back to sleep alright

verse 2
cry in front of my face
and say you love me 10,000 times
what is this?
what is mine?

chorus
ive been crying for hours
almost passed out in my own shower
whos the next person that you’ll devour
idk but its not my power
and im tired of trying with you
and i know you have some sort of clue
i guess i kinda somewhat like you

verse 3
i find it weird that told my
older brother
is it strange that i also told
my friend’s mother

verse 4
and that same friend gave me a mars bar today
i thought we should both go there one day
if that’s okay,
with u?

bridge
i like the stars
i like the moon 
i dont like the ocean
but i know i like you
i like the curb 
and i like your eyes
and i like the way i dont sleep at night
cause all i think about is you
if that’s okay with you?

if that’s okay with you (from my memos)

realistic (demo)

hope you know i dropped out of school
just to stay in the house
used to breathe with a hole in my chest think,
i’m doing better now
you know how much i miss the geminis
they love then ruin my life
you know it’s hard for me to sleep at night since
i heard my father cry

hope you know i met dominique and
that she’s too good for me
met at a funeral where i said
“you’re really good at singing.”
you know i get the passionfruit black tea
with eyeliner on the side 
you know i hate my insecurities think
i tell way too many lies

theodore you’re supposed to be born so
i could have someone to talk to 
theodore i could have sworn that
‘it’s just something that i’m going through’
but it’s not and im going crazy
and i dont wanna think about it daily
so theodore are you sure
you’re not bored today?

hope you know i made it to therapy
it’s weird cause i didn’t cry
i had a dream about a family
stabbing mine with a knife
you know how much i hate to talk about it
but i was only 10
she held the gun and i thought this would be it
dont wanna see her again

theodore you’re supposed to be born so
i could have someone to talk to 
theodore i could have sworn that
‘it’s just something that i’m going through’
but it’s not and im going crazy
and i dont wanna think about it daily
so theodore are you sure
you’re not bored today?

do you wanna know
what its like to write a bunch of songs for people 
who dont care about your stupid life
do you wanna know
that i’m fine 
should have figured out that i need to be better than alright
 hi know what you think about me now
we dont even talk but its so clear that i’m breaking
you write a bunch of letters when you’re in doubt
you can even say the way that you’re feeling

if only i could have someone to tell this to
guess i need theodore
theodore you’re supposed to be born

theodore you’re supposed to be born so
i could have someone to talk to 
theodore i could have sworn that
‘it’s just something that i’m going through’
but it’s not and im going crazy
and i dont wanna think about it daily
so theodore are you sure
you’re not bored today?

Theodore (from the overture)

what if i lived on the east coast
watching my cousins’ football games?
walking to school in the morning
almost hit by a bus on the highway
maryland isnt haunting
but i hate pink lemonade

what if i lived on the west coast
with space buns in my hair
ID that lives on my neck, and my family is there
maybe vegas can be haunting
why do i live elsewhere

and truth is
18,000 kilometers is just hours away

i celebrate christmas in the cold
near all of my friends
everyone knows where i will go
and i dont understand
is where i live haunting
an hourglass not made of sand

i get to have a dinner
face to face with my loved ones
am i amusing that
i enjoy writing these songs
i can prove im not haunting
i am right where i belong

haunting (demo)

i feel like a problem that i cant see through
you’re here dont stay i’ll walk away from you
if i could change the way i framed
all of the selfish lies i play
ive saved all the better parts of me for you
maybe then you’d understand ive got a point to prove

its all my fault

whyd i say id say ill go all in
when ive got splinters in my fingertips
always being the hypocrite
thats what you get when you’re just a kid

you said i should make a list of things i want
but deep down i dont really think like im worthy of em
i like to play the waiting game
in all the hours that you gave
you still held me on the car ride home
and you showed me that it wasn’t 

all my fault

whyd i say id say ill go all in
when ive got splinters in my fingertips
always being the hypocrite
thats what you get when you’re just a kid 

no sleep for me in the morning
i cut my teeth when im talking
i pray that someday i find grace
all of the cautions and warnings
He makes me feel so important
i know that i’ll listen one day

splinters (demo demo)

your name is nice on paper
and in my mouth
u had longer hair before
and u complain about how u dont have it anymore

u wear nice jackets
u have nice shoes
losing our voices
shame you dont have a clue

u could be an actor
dont act out on me though
u’ll see me after
but i can only hope

cause
for the first time 
im not afraid of this feeling 
so if it happens
but falls apart i’ll be happier than i can imagine
you’ll stay in my books
every nook and cranny
you’ll give me the look
i’ll keep saying can we go somewhere nice
i’ll tell the world i like you

you’ll make a spot right open 
though you’ve sat down
coincidence or not i know our eyes lock in through the crowd

just dont lead me on
cant go through that again 
heard that you write songs
can we let this happen?

i dont want anything lustful
i just want something thats simple
say, ive never done this before

the pasta song (demo)

little perth resident ✧･ﾟ:* 
upcoming artist
u’ll love her voice memo drafts (assume everything is a demo)

Mariae Cassandra

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