Mighty Dolinski.MP3

People Expect Nothing It Seems

BRTD.MP3

T12V2 01.MP3

Please

Keeping Up With The Joneses

A to the b to the CWE
Let me give you all here a little history
Of the pricks and dicks and mysogeny
As I scroll my phone with my middle finger on the screen.

You miss the good old days
When you could bitch about your wives and insult the gays
Thow on a winking smiley face
And play a little game of Simon says.

Simon says bullying's bad
You picked on Dick and made him sad.
Well maybe look back and see what's been writ
And see if you can spell hypocrite.

And while we're on the subject of greatest hits
Let's give a little shout to Stevie Ritch-ie
Let me see, you're a master of passive aggressive bitchy.
With your partner in twat, Chris J
Not another watch group, ain't that great
Offensive memes while you masturbate
Making women feel nauseaus since 1978.

If only someone had all the tools
To fix this mess on the way to school
Ruining warranties and breaking rules
It's the Krabbe Man, and he pities fools
Selling that gold like he's QVC
He'd make more money if he gave it for free
Why people like you is a mystery to me
And your name sounds like an STD

White man, black man, Jewish man, indian
Pick all the ethnicities and randomly throw a pin in them
I can't be a racist, my little toe is Kenyan 
Got more genes than Levis, man. 
Fee fi fo fit, 
I smell more of John Stevens bullshit
As a comedian, you should quit
Enjoy white privilege you fucking tit. 

White privilege, that don't exist
Says the man down under with the monkey wrist. 
Well, I'll tell you now, I hope you get the gist
But you're the reason Everyone hates Chris. 

Snowflake, snowflake, can't you take a joke mate
Feel a bit butt hurt, ha ha - hey wait 
Liberal mindsets they offend me
I've got black mates I'm not a nazi
Tiny swords of power that's what I see
Rage quit, oh shit, no one misses me

Fuck you Justin you keyboard warrior
The world would be a better place if your mum had sucked and swallowed ya.

T12V2 04.MP3

When I first saw you I thought you were a weirdo
But the evidence before me makes me think that you're a paedo
Touchin all the kids with your rotten sausage fingers
But one of your atrocities it still lingers 
Junky with a Y, please try to make a fuckin website that doesn't make me cry
Your grammatical sabbaticals a mother fucking crime
Against our language and that's why

OH EM GEE Chris Ward is here
If I suck his kids dicks he might buy me a beer
3 kids jizz and all the paint at Tribus
Vomit on a dial and make a'My Dog Sighs' watch. 

Got more watches than the children that I've plundered 
That must mean it must be in the hundreds
Even Barrie knows that AVI 8 are great
I'm tellin you mate, why do they get the hate
Just send me a message and I'll be a chat bot
10 pics of my fat wrist is the best that I've got
If I don't get a discount then I'll be sad
Spend my giro on a Tribus, spit on a lad
Just like Carragher he's my hero
That Thomas and Dennis are less than zero
Bullying me just because I'm a nonce
But I can't help what my heart wants
Lure them in to look at my collection 
And all they find is my tiny erection. 
Harder to find than rocking horse shit
The moral of this story is I'm a fucking tit

Mark Humphreys