I get irrationally upset
When you won't come into my bed
But I do it because I like you
I'll be your chauffeur and I will drive you

I like the way your palms always sweat
Like you're taking a high school test
I wanna fall in love with you
It's been two weeks, that'll do

You make me the type of nervous where I don't want to eat
And all my friends know
That's not where my nerves go
That's not where my nerves go
That's not where my nerves go

And I'm recording an album about heartache as I begin to fall into love
And I'm recording these songs about loneliness, but I'm looking down on it from above
I am content
And I'm on the mend
It's just around the bend
You're the means and you're the end
I played the game
I stood out in the rain
But you took all the pain and you kissed it away

Almost five full years of shit brought me straight into your lips
I've got a list of awkward hugs
I've got a pile of dirty mugs
You remember everything I say
When I forget it the next day
Crawl in at 2am with me
In the morning we'll have tea

You make me the type of lazy where I forget to brush my teeth
And all my friends know
That's hard for me to let go
That's hard for me to let go
That's hard for me to let go

And I'm recording an album about heartache as I begin to fall into love
And I'm recording these songs about loneliness, but I'm looking down on it from above
I am content
And I'm on the mend
It's just around the bend
You're the means and you're the end
I played the game
I stood out in the rain
But you took all the pain and you kissed it away

And I am waiting, holding on to every breath you take
And I am scared shitless 'cause I don't know what kind of life you want to make
I'm anticipating losing all of this in a day
If you do break me
I'll try to fake it and I'll support you, babe

Now I am writing an album about heartache as I begin to fall out of love
And I am writing these songs about loneliness, as I'm crashing into it like a truck
But I'll be content
And I will mend
The things that you broke when I thought you were my friend
I'll get back in the game
If it's shine or if it's rain
And I'll take all my pain and I'll kiss it away

Almost two full years of bliss brought me straight back to this shit
I've got a list of awkward hugs
I've got a pile of dirty mugs

Dirty Mugs

Before summer is a song from our youth, when love was as bittersweet as a midsummer’s night. It is a youthful pondering on the conditions of love and life – and how at a young age it all seems to call for an intensity as burning as the summer’s sun. All to the accompaniment of those endless summer nights when we were drinking and dancing our young and worried souls away.

The Early Fears is the debut album of nomadic one-man band Nervous City Nervous Self and it contains a broad collection of songs portraying a journey from youth to adulthood. The artist takes a firm grip by the listener´s ear and leads us through the bliss and gloom of a wandering singer´s delightful doom. We meet the struggle for recognition and the quest for purpose, the delusions of failure and the sense of betrayal, the loneliness and the longing for something unknown, paired with a spiritual thirst and a hunger for home. All elements – or fears – that seem to be the predicaments for this or any kind of life. But also, and hopefully foremost, we get to glimpse at an almost magical sense of wonder, fulfilment, and even joyfulness. And at the end of the day – or album – a thankfulness for being alive arises, along with a flourishing wish to do something worthwile and beautiful out of it. 


Before Summer

The Gilded Age

Artwork by Vladimir Kush

Written 18 years ago.... is what I'll say in ten years.

I’ve been an addict all my life long
to games I can’t win and puzzles I can’t solve
It’s been some kind of sick fascination
to find myself in impossible situations 
-
and this one is one of those
I’m a deep sea fish reaching for a desert rose
I’m a parking lot, hoping that a garden grows
I’m me and you’re you and my only way through is to divide by zero

you don’t like me much but I promise you this
if you knew me better you’d like me even less
If you could see what goes on in my thoughts
I think you’d personally lead the firing squad

but even though I wouldn’t agree
I’m so flawed, I’d assume I deserve it for something
this song just needs to be worthy of suffering 
I just want you to want something you can’t get anywhere except from me

It puts me out of sorts, but I think you’re my twin
and I ought to sue you for copyright infringement
but i’m sure at the court you’d have this winning defense:
my best is your ground floor, you do all I do and more, you’re improved at the core, so I’d best be out the door, with my obsolescence 
-
but you don’t know the thing you’ve offered
for a minute my sadness has an object
before this it hung shapeless as fog upon me
Now it’s fenced in a daydream that I can keep and smother by slow degrees
(And I guess you'd call that "sorrow laundering")

so even if it’s been in your mind
and even if there were enough time
and even if it’s true, what I swear I have seen
what you’d have to do would split you at the seams
-
it’d never be worth the risk
a dream gambled for so much less
just come clean, a daydream is all this is
some scene, from a movie we probably all saw as stupid kids

I’m sure you can tell most of this is an act
It can all go to hell, as a matter of fact
If I even thought this one could be solved
If I even thought the words could be carved
If I even thought I had something you want 
I’d ruin my life for those lottery odds.

Sorrow Laundering (Acoustic Demo)

The Truth Behind the Blues and the Crossroads Deal is an album that dives deep into the soul of the blues, where dusty roads stretch endlessly, whiskey-soaked nights linger, and every note tells a story of struggle, redemption, and mystery. Inspired by the legendary tales of bluesmen who sought more than just fame, this collection captures the haunting melodies and raw emotion of the genre’s golden era.

The Hounds Keep Coming

sorry xoxo - Brave [prod.sorry xoxo].wav

Uncle Norm

Over You

I hate being so cynical
I hate feeling so
Cautious and jaded and scared

What has made us this way?
Who has led us so far astray?
Surely this can’t be
All we can be

Can we undo it all?
Lay down the armor
Of smooth and easy insincerity

Oh, how good would that be?  

I hate being so hard
I hate going through motions
And feeling so dead inside

Sometimes this isolation is crushing me
And it’s hard to figure out how I should be
How I can be
Different

Can we undo it all
With openness, courage and love?
Can I reach out to you?
And you to me?

Oh, how good would that be?

Different

Buy on bandcamp

I Know This Turn
You stop asking for signs. You start recognizing the rhythm.
The spiral isn’t confusing anymore. It’s yours.

-
More? see the 'Corps - www.CogConCor.com
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The Braid

I Know This Turn

✨ as you wish

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The Gilded Age

Mark C Powers

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