2021-03-16

 This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, business, events and incidents are the products of the author's imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

Lyrics: 
well I needed the credits 
it was something to do
and they said it would
be a good job to retire on
i don't doubt that that's true
but

they said there's rebels on alderan
they only reaped what they had sown
then I'm not looking forward to
seeing what happens when
the seeds that I'm planting have grown
'cause

I've been here building the deathstar
feeding the evil imperial state
placing the kyber and beskar
'bout to kill people i don't even hate

well the jawas did not like my qualifications
the moisture farms left me out dry
but the empire hired me 
right on the spot
without even needing to lie

and they say that the emperor's led by the force
and he follows the jedi way
but i think we all know what 
the jedi would say
if the jedi were still here today

when

I've been here building the deathstar
feeding the evil imperial state
placing the kyber and beskar
'bout to kill people i don't even hate

if i pinch all my pennies 
and stop eating meat
and retire early
and every person i see
i am kind to
however i can
then maybe it might 
wash the blood off my hands after

I've been here building the deathstar
making the girders and rivets all straight

I've been here building the deathstar
feeding the evil imperial state
placing the kyber and beskar
'bout to kill people i don't even have any problem with

people i don't even hate

Lord Vader Promised A Pizza Party

There comes a point when you ave 20 tracks and must have done over a hundred takes when you just might as well call the thing finished.

This song is the story of a Tyrannosaurus Rex in  65000000 BCE Mexico who see's the meteor coming down, gains sentience, gets a glimpse of the future and falls in love promptly before his death.

We're Back A Dinosaur's Story (All That's Left)

A song I wrote for the Tunesday prompt "Me and my black sneakers"

Also fun fact: Mark of the Ninja is a game on steam that I hear is really fun, but I can't get to work on my computer because I'm a doofus.

Mark Of The Ninja

A short story of a guy who decides to create the perfect lover.

Actually, Im In A Committed Relationship With Pizza (keyboard demo)

I did a cover of Ginuwine's classic, Pony the way (I believe) it was meant to be.

sorry
not sorry

I Regret Nothing (or Everything)

Just facts everyone knows.

(maybe the first song I've written with a ii-V-I cadence)

Lyrics:

Nicole Simpson was married to a football star
but she kept another man in her bed
one day Big Bad OJ caught the couple in the act
and they both surely ended up dead

The cheif investigating officer planted evidence
'cause he had racism all in his head
so the defending lawyer looked the jury in the eye
and this is what he said:

"You can't convict this man of double murder
If he can't fit his hand in the glove
just like if you ever find yourself as Marlon Barnes
there's no use falling in love"


Now you might say, "Well, that's a pretty interesting story, but what's that last part got to do with anything?" and I say you weren't paying attention. See, both parts are about people with the propensity to want things unavailable to them and end up dead in the street.

Old Hitler marched his army through Europe
Have an empire's what he wanted to do
Have the whole entire world under his greedy thumb,
kill all the coloreds and the gays and the Jews

One day they invaded Russia
problems were more than a few
the land was huge, the land was harsh, the land was way too cold
and they all were running fresh out of food

So the General went up to the Fuhrer
Looked him right in the eye
and said "Boss, we gotta pack up and retreat real fast
or your army's all gonna die, you know why

because you can't get these tanks over the mountain
no matter how you push and you shove
just like if you ever end up being Marlon Barnes
you know there's no use falling in love

You might think you're getting the hang of it now, you might say "I get it this is about people  reaching for more than they can grasp" Well, that's true, I guess. Partial credit for that but it's really about two big dumb miserable pieces of crap.

Here's another one, see

Prometheus, he was a human
who said "you know, fire's pretty nice.
"I think that I might steal it from those big mean gods
and give my people some life"

and Zeus found out after he did it
and he got horribly mad
Prometheus said, "Oh Zeus, what you gonna do to me?"
and Zeus  just threw his head back and laughed

and then he took Prometheus down to a big rock,
grabbed a chain and then tied it around
and said "Boy, every night, your liver's gonna grow right back,
but every day a bird will gobble it down"

because even if your motivation's wholesome,
you can't defy the heavens above
just like if you ever find yourself as Marlon Barnes
you know you better not fall in love.


(kazoo)


God once made a pretty garden
and in it he put Adam and Eve
He said "kids, you can do 'bout anything you want
just please don't eat no fruit off that tree"

Then one day Eve was sittin there relaxin
in the shade under the tree next to a lake
Her husband was coming up to meet her there
but first she saw a four-legged snake

who said "Don't you wanna see what's gonna happen?
is this little garden really enough?
if you ever have a descendant you name Marlon Dale Barnes Jr.
tell him go ahead and fall in love."

go ahead and fall in love (repeat)
We're all doing it
what's the worst that could happen
no one's ever regretted that sort of decision
I mean seriously.

go ahead and fall in love.

Falling In Love

(The Sizable Seasonal Swarm of Shiftless, Sinister, Scornful, and Surprisingly Spurious Sentient Squash Song)

I didn't intend for it to be a Halloween song when I was writnng it, but it's so obviously a Halloween song.

The Sizable Seasonal Swarm of Sinister Sentient Squash

Tunesday Prompt: Mark My Words

I really wanted to make this more of a slow melancholy jazz tune, more gender neutral and maybe less explicit, but other than that I had fun with it.

LYRICS 

I love you
and I want to
make you happy as a clam
but your oyster has been cloistered
and I feel like less of a man

When I walk around you naked
all I make you do is laugh
I just can't get no ass

I wanna put the wind 
back in your sails
and the motion in your boat
I used to give you multiples
but now you don't even come close

We used to be like rabbits
now we're pandas in a zoo
I just can't get no ass from you

Your eyes used to say come hither
now they say please just let me sleep
we don't go to movies
we don't go to dinner
I see you 'bout a couple hours a week

You used to give it to me every day
but those days are all in the past
I just can't get no ass

(solo)

I'll rub your back out
I'll take your trash out
I'll start working out for you
I'll wrap myself in bacon strips
if that's what you want me to do

We went from cigarette sunrise to whiskey dusk
and I feel like I just might collapse
'cause I just can't get no ass

Married Life Am I Right?

Monday Afternoon

To: The Beastiary Podcast

Pink Dolphin

Hey buddy I'm Marlon and I have some goofy acoustic music for you to drizzle on your eardrums, It's best served hot with the starchy side dish of your choice and garnished with parsley. As an added bonus it inspires opposition to the robot apocalypse.

marlon_hates_robots

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