this is a song that is entirely too fucking long, but eh. always been a sucker for those long ass pretentious songs that pack so much dramatic bullshit into one song that even olivia rodrigo would be like "damn bro we get it you're young and sad".

to explain it bluntly and take some of the fun away from listening, it's a two part song that covers my cavalcade of mental illness. paranoia, hallucinations, and the eventual misdiagnoses that ruined me for a long time. i did a lot of really wrong shit that i am ashamed of, partly because i was untreated for a lot of afflictions that i didn't know i really had. couple that with the already dope insecurities that consume me, a faulty moral compass, and drugs and it's a recipe for a mars zolo that truly fucking sucked to both be around and be for a number of years. then i changed doctors and this bitch was like THEY PUT YOU ON WHAT. i went to hella therapy, and now i'm significantly less mentally broken. the song also functions as a letter to a girl that i'd been desperately in love with for years, writing so many songs about, and then realizing that that time's passed and she's happy and i have to move on.

AFFECTIVE/OK W U

mars zolo