Soda Bottle sitting in my kitchen
What's it taste like guess I'll have to listen
To the advertisements on the television

Soda Bottle Who poured you into my thoughts
I'm not thirsty but I suppose that I'm caught
In the advertisements I'm non specifically taught
The trap was uncapped and now I'm caught
In here I'm classically taught to depreci-
ate everything that I already got

Fizzy Bubbles Carbonated texture
Sugar Water Caffienated mixture
Labeled uniquely so you can taste the difference
And you can make an inference
and you can tell all your friends
but they already heard about it on the advertisements

Soda Popinsky
couldn't stop drinking whiskey
poor fellow was addicted to behave
like a sorry predictable slave

Get drunk have fun maybe have another one
If you think a bad thought just drink it off

Grab the rope slippery slope jump back in and cope
with the groping idea
that you wont ever have any hope

Soda Bodle

Tank Top

I want you to cry for your mom
Loves you and you love your mom
the kick is good but listen to the tom tom
hysterical and spare the funeral
is it sinister is it visceral
take what you will but dont touch the casserole
Watch what you eat it may make you sick
if it's dipped in arsenic
a psychic trick couldn't even fix this chick's glitch
I want you to cry for your mom
loves you and you love your mom
the ticking clock is a time atom bomb

Just be patient

Get real drunk on extra old cognac
find gold teeth sunk into your neck
now tell me you need a six thousand lek check
Play this piece back and forth again
Play this piece over and over again
Play this piece all the way til the end friend end it all friend
Beethoven had to wait heaven
was filled to it's pearly gates
with humans you're gonna need more than two guns
What you see is what you get you know
you forget a four piece quintet 
but you remember now who owes you a cigarette

just be patient



Beethoven By Proxy

The Master Thief

Antsy Nantsy

Pterodactyls

This is called my secret song, it's a secret song about...secrets
I wrote this song to confess to get all my freaky secrets off my chest
I also wrote this song to attest to my expertise on this subject (a secret thesis)
Secrets are sometimes quite arousing, like secret website browsing
or when i role play with my lady she don't put on the stockings of a stripper no
she bonks me on the head with her admiral hat I play the Gulligan to her Skipper (kinky)
Secretly, I'm a Mormon So please
Please don't tell my wives

Secrets are like vivid hallucinations, everybody has them
right Mrs. Grayson?  uh huh, exactly
Secrets are like chocolates, cuz I can't
No I can't even share them with my dog

Secretly I go to church and steal all the wafers
I know it's sacreligious but I just love the taste of paper

There's a lot of shit that I pass up because I can't afford shit
like that time I got knocked up and I had to get a secret abortion
Got alot of strange looks and stares on my way into the planned parenthood
but since i can and since I'm a man, I just felt like I should
And if you ever wanna keep me outta back alleys
I will need, to be married to that really really potent girl

cuz what would become of this world, if the guys were gettin pregnant by the girls?
if bastard babies are born out of wedlock
what do they call them when they're pourin' out of my cock?

This song is a secret, I don't want anybody to find out
This song is a secret, if anybody hears it I will no doubt
Cryyyyy the most embarrassing cry in my life

So please don't listen to this song it's a secret
if you find it on my computer please don't wiki leak it
maybe i should just go ahead and delete it
but i guess it's a secret so i suppose I'll fuckin' keep it


Secret Song

Haven't uploaded in a while!  This is a little demonstration of the music we have been...cookin.  Recorded on an interview on J Street Radio go to http://radio.jstreetzine.com/ to hear the whole segment.  

Cookin (Radio Cut)

A  band from the Chicago-Land hell bent with good intent to amalgamate the past and present.
 

Master Thief

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